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Published: 2012-02-13 05:58:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 168; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 2
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"Are you happy?"She looked up, confused. "Am I happy? What sort of question is that?"
He shrugged slightly. "I don't know. I just, I want you to be happy. Are you?"
"Honestly?" She paused, closing her book and turning to face him "No, no I'm not happy. But that's ok, because I it's not meant to last anyway."
"What do you mean?"
"Happiness. It's not meant to be a permanent thing. I mean, sure, I have some happy moments, some truly blissful moments, but that's all they are. Moments. You can't hold on to that, it's unrealistic."
"Happiness is unrealistic?" He frowned. "But it's HAPPINESS!!"
"Yes, I know. And I'm not saying it's unrealistic to want to be happy, but it's not a permanent thing. Happiness is fleeting. I don't go chasing it down, when I'm happy, I'm happy. When I'm sad, I'm sad. When I'm content, then I'm content. I don't need to be happy. I'm quite fine with my life the way it is."
"Are you saying I don't make you happy?"
"No. I'm not saying that at all. But you and me, that goes beyond 'happy'. There are times that you infuriate me. Times you break my heart. Times you make me wonder if we're both insane. But I wouldn't change it and it doesn't make me love you any less. All of those emotions, those reactions, those things, that's what makes us 'us'. Don't you see? It's more than just "You make me happy." You make me feel safe. You make me feel comfortable. I am at home when I'm with you. You are light, and love, and warmth, and everything that makes my heart sing. But there's more to it than that. The dark completes it. The sad. The empty. The tragic. The petty arguments. The mood swings. All of it. It's not 'happy'. It's real. And that's better."
"I... It is?"
"Yes. It's honest. It doesn't pretend. It is what it is, warts and all." She reached out and touched his knee. "You knew me before. You knew I wasn't the 'head-in-the-clouds-hopeless-romantic' kind of girl. I dream, yes, but I'm also realistic. You're not some fairytale Prince Charming. I'm not a princess in need of rescue. We're two flesh and blood people who love each other. We have faults. We're not perfect. Happiness is a beautiful thing, but it's not a way of life."
She stood up and walked to the door. Standing in the doorway she turned back to him. "So, are you happy?"
He frowned slightly. "I thought I was, but now I'm not so sure."
"See? It's not meant to last." She smiled softly. "Don't worry about 'happy' so much. I tend to find if you stop focussing on something so much it tends to come about much more often."
He watched her as she walked out of the room... and smiled.