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CollinHell — Nothing. by-nc-nd
Published: 2007-02-23 05:32:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 174; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description Breaking news today. More people were killed. Their bodies were found in an alley, naked and strewn around they lay like rag dolls. Believe it or not, they were drug dealers. They mugged, they did their own goods, and they killed their friends over the drugs.

Guess what? It happened yesterday too. The alley right next to that one. Before that it was the one on main street. The day before that there was a bomb in my old building. Oh, lots of people were killed. They had news helicopters and they interviewed me. You know what I told them?

Nothing.

It happens every day, you realize?
Guns, drugs, torture. Rape, murder, kiddy porn.
No surprise. Fight to live, right?
Kill or be killed? Dog-eat-dog?

Well, you know what? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a dog eating another one.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard of some breed of whale creating weapons to kill off one another over beliefs of existence. Ever heard of a spider with bombs strapped to it’s chest? How about a homicidal tuna fish?

You think we’re better than the animals? Think we’re more intelligent? We’re over breeding. We’re polluting. We’re not only biting the hand that feeds us, but we’re slitting our mother right across the throat, while she feeds us, knowing on her hand until she heats up and we’re screwed. Then we kill off ourselves, shoving bamboo up one another’s fingernails, and burning the other ones with hot metal. Then we’re gonna play catch-the-detonator with some over humans across the dead corpse of our mother, and we’re gonna kill them because they have darker skin that us, or they think that our lovely, superior race was created a different way.

You know what happens then? We’re all going to die. Famine, or nuclear fallout, or civil war. Real superior of us huh? Wonderful beings, humans.

We aren’t an animal. We aren’t organic. We’re already what we’re going to be, what we wrote ourselves as thousands and thousands of years ago. And do you know what that is? I’ll tell you.

Nothing.
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Comments: 3

xechorizo [2008-03-18 18:27:34 +0000 UTC]

I liked it up until "knowing on her hand..." and to "...Real superior of us, huh?" Not sure if there's some missused words in there, but if you were to get rid of that spanse and combine the paragraphs at the end maybe?

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entropicalia [2007-02-23 19:49:14 +0000 UTC]

This would be so much more effective if it weren't delivered with such a heavy hand. Less self righteousness. Don't change the perspective or the vitriol, but stop talking down to your reader so much.

That can be an impactful tactic, but here...I don't know, something about it made me roll my eyes.

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CollinHell In reply to entropicalia [2007-02-24 04:53:51 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the advice. I make people roll their eyes in real life, too ^_^

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