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Published: 2010-08-01 23:13:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 838; Favourites: 22; Downloads: 5
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Description
You pushed me down a cloud,and let me free fall oh so proud.
But every fall ends in a landing,
and my wings weren't working this
time, so like every time you
fall for someone your fall
ends in a hard ending.
But even after crashing
on earth, to this day I look up
in the sky,
looking for that angel that
pushed me down the cloud
and made me ask "why?"
Now that angel is playing
around in the sky oh so profound,
and after two months I know
that she has forgotten
everything about love, lies and
letting me crash on the ground.
I know that angels and
mortals aren't supposed
to be together,
but all I know that is
that I can wait on you here
for you forever.
Till the day you decide
to be with me again
and jump of the clouds.
And if your wings aren't working either,
then I will catch you in my arms,
so that no harm comes to you,
and we can live together forever
on a boat and sail the ocean blue.
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Comments: 25
DkLt [2011-07-20 18:16:04 +0000 UTC]
I loved it an yah I'm not much for lengthy reading but yah when I am in the mood for it I read nonstop xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Quonginongnong [2010-08-15 04:15:55 +0000 UTC]
Very good! I was hooked from the first line. Definitely not too long, juuust right.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
NurekRoyalty [2010-08-02 17:50:29 +0000 UTC]
I like the length, you managed to convey all your thoughts without getting repetitive in the process. Great job!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CollinShaw In reply to K-C-91 [2010-08-02 23:48:13 +0000 UTC]
Hahaha I'll take that as it is good
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
rawwwrrrface [2010-08-02 02:13:18 +0000 UTC]
Amazing. Very well written. I enjoy reading ur stuff a LOT!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CollinShaw In reply to rawwwrrrface [2010-08-02 05:10:17 +0000 UTC]
Thanks a lot man, I'll continue trying to meet your expectations
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
MischiefWriter [2010-08-02 00:55:49 +0000 UTC]
Really diggin' the mood of this, lovely work, dude. And I can sympathize with the length issue.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CollinShaw In reply to MischiefWriter [2010-08-02 05:10:48 +0000 UTC]
Haha yea, it sucks when stuff gets too long. And thnx a lot
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
SeriesArtiststarter [2010-08-01 23:39:44 +0000 UTC]
Powerful. and well adapted i think. you really showed something great here and it was no that long and all, bravo you really did do something great, its just well that strongly emotional
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CollinShaw In reply to SeriesArtiststarter [2010-08-01 23:45:56 +0000 UTC]
Thanks a lot man, I think you commented on my stuff before.
It was a critic about
how something was missing in the poem
or something, so it makes
me feel even better to hear that from you
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
SeriesArtiststarter In reply to CollinShaw [2010-08-01 23:50:09 +0000 UTC]
Your way welcome dude. heh maybe who knows for sure? coulda been anybody ya know
Hey no probelm at all. it was a good peice all the same and it took effort to form it together
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
CollinShaw In reply to XxBurgiexX [2010-08-01 23:36:12 +0000 UTC]
Awesome that makes me kinda happy
👍: 0 ⏩: 0