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“Chase? Chase Young?” Kimiko gasped unable to believe her eyes. There were literally millions of people in New York City and yet she’d somehow managed to run into him. “Holy crap,” Kimiko whispered not sure how else to react. He hadn’t changed a bit, expect maybe his face was now better defined and his hair a little longer and messier.

“Nice to see you Kimiko,” Chase said with a satisfied sort of smirk. “And might I be the first to offer my congratulations on your engagement.” Kimiko’s eyes narrowed at his tone but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of getting her worked up.

“Thank you for catching Simon,” she managed out stiffly and then turned to go.

“I always thought you and Pedrosa would end up getting married,” Chase went on unwillingly making Kimiko stop at the mention of Raimundo. “But I guess you two weren’t really meant to be,” he shrugged. Kimiko remained silent as Simon pressed his nose into her hand, as if sensing her growing level of distress. “I heard you didn’t even come back to Mercer for your senior year. Never thought you’d be like that Kimiko.”

“What you talking about?” Kimiko asked playing dumb.

“That you’d roll over that easy,” Chase told her and Kimiko immediately stiffened. “I’ve heard all about it,” Chase went on. “About how you returned home and broke off contact with your boyfriend. They said that your father’s new wife, your step mother has made your father do a complete three sixty and convinced him that you needed to be apart of the company’s future. And to think they used to call your father a modern man by giving you as much freedom as he used to. Though I guess he is still a modern man of sorts since he’s letting a woman rule his life.”

“Stop talking about my father like that,” Kimiko snapped still not turning to face him and wondering why she wasn’t just walking away.

“I guess I had you judged wrong Kimiko,” Chase said after her small outburst. “I never pegged you as the time to just give up everything you wanted for someone else.”

“Some people would call that selfless,” Kimiko observed.

“In some context,” Chase agreed, “but in your case I call it spineless.”

“Don’t judge me,” Kimiko hissed looking over her shoulder at him. There was silence and Kimiko still couldn’t manage to make her body move.

“If you ever need anything, need to talk or something,” Chase said sounding like he was moving away, “you can look me up. I’m still at NYU.” When she was sure he was gone Kimiko sank to her knees and Simon immediately pressed his face into hers in an act of comfort and Kimiko wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging his warm body to her.

“Thanks Simon,” Kimiko said when her tears subsided. “Let’s go home; I think we’ve both had enough of the park for one day.”

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Monday morning dawned for Kimiko with a fight with her father which was unfortunately staring to become the majority of their conversations

“Dad I am not having an escort go with me to school,” Kimiko snapped into the phone. “Just whose idea was this anyways? Yours? Toya’s?”

“You know we both only do what we do because we care,” Toshiro told her.

“Yeah right,” Kimiko scoffed.

“Watch that tone young lady,” Toshiro warned. “I knew this move back to New York was a mistake.”

“Moving back to Tokyo was a mistake,” Kimiko muttered into the phone knowing her father heard her and was surprised when he didn’t respond immediately.

“Are you really that object to the life I’ve planned for you?” Toshiro asked her in a soft voice full of genuine concern she hadn’t heard in some time. Kimiko switched the phone to speaker and set it on the bathroom counter as she pulled various pills from different bottles.

“I can’t really talk about this right now Dad,” Kimiko said finally after she finished swallowing. “I have to get to class and stuff.”

“I will call off the escort,” Toshiro conceded.

“Thanks Dad,” Kimiko said genuinely happy.

“We will talk, soon?” Toshiro asked.

“Sure Dad, I’ll call you soon,” she promised.

“Goodbye then Kimiko. Good luck on your first day,” Toshrio told her before handing up. Kimiko followed suit and hung up as well and then proceeded to stare into the mirror.

“Why’d he have to pick now to get concerned?” Kimiko asked her reflection. “Its too late now, isn’t it?” Her answer came in the form of a whine as Simon sat just on the edge of the tiny bathroom, it was the one room he refused to enter and Kimiko guessed it was because of the tile for some reason or another.

“So you promise not to tear up the house and pee everywhere right?” Kimiko asked and Simon gave her a guilty look as if sensing that she was leaving. “No guilt trips,” Kimiko told him. “I cooked you a burger for breakfast and everything. And I’ll be back by two at the latest. And I’m leaving the TV on for you, aren’t I a good owner?” Simon didn’t respond, just scratched at his ear with his back leg. “Ingrate,” Kimiko muttered and looked at the clock. It was just eight thirty and that would give her plenty of time to get to class, find her way around, and meet early with the professors for her two classes that day to get the back work since she was starting the semester two weeks late.

“I’m going now,” Kimiko said placing another burger in Simon’s bowl, “so be good and think good thoughts so things go well.” Simon yawned and settled on the couch in front of the television. “What a dog,” Kimiko muttered as she walked out and locked the door behind her.

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“Go and have breakfast with Jermaine,” Rai was insisting around the same time that Kimiko was leaving her apartment.

“Oh I am,” Keiko replied, “and you’re coming with me.”

“Didn’t you prove yesterday that I can leave the apartment? Today I think I’d like to test that I can do it without you assistance,” Rai replied pulling a bagel from the toaster.

“I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you and considering I can’t even pick you up, well, you get the idea,” Keiko told him glaring at him from across the room. “Come and have breakfast with me and Jermaine,” Keiko said again, “we’re your friends so why are you so object to all of this?”

“Because I’d feel like I’d be intruding on you and Jermaine’s time together,” Rai explained.

“Fine, don’t eat with us,” Keiko pouted, “but you’re at least leaving with me.” Rai opened his mouth to argue but shut it and decided to humor her.

“Fine,” he said giving in much to Keiko’s delight and surprise. “Just let me grab my bag. It’s back in my room.”

“Sure thing!” Keiko grinned happily and Rai half returned her smile. He had yet to thank Keiko for all that she had done for him since he’d read about Kimiko’s engagement. He wasn’t sure what he would have done without Keiko there to ‘gently’ prod him back from the edge. And she’d been right to tell him that he only had two options. He already knew that no matter how much he wanted to, he didn’t think there was anyway to get at Kimiko now. He had visions of flying to Tokyo and sneaking into her home and convincing her that she still loved him but it didn’t seem to be possible. But, there was also no way that he could ever really move on from Kimiko. He’d made her a promise that he intended to keep. Kimiko had never promised him the same so he couldn’t begrudge her moving on. So he planned on making it looked like he’d gone on, so not to worry his friends, but in his heart of hearts he would never move on from Kimiko.

As he shoved his last books into his backpack Raimundo paused as he moved to include his personal writing book. Often mistaken for some sort of diary, Raimundo kept the paperback sized notebook handy at all times incase he need to jot down anything in regards to his writing. But maybe more importantly is contained a picture of him and Kimiko from his sister’s wedding, taken when both were unaware and on the dance floor, Kimiko in a long sweeping green sundress and Raimundo in his suit. It must have been a slow song because Kimiko was pressed against his body, head tucked under his chin, eyes closed and face turned toward the camera. Rai too had his eyes closed, resting his head on top of Kimiko’s with one arm wrapped around his waist and other across her shoulder blades while Kimiko’s arms wrapped snugly around his neck. He’d been planning on giving her a copy when she returned to New York, he’d been that certain that she’s come back and when she hadn’t he tucked the picture away for his eyes only. He debated now, on removing it from his writing journal and for a moment he almost did.

‘No,’ he decided tucking the picture back into its old place, ‘this piece of her I get to keep.’

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“Thank you very much for agreeing to meet with me Professor,” Kimiko said resisting the urge to bow, remembering that she was back in America.

“It’s no trouble Ms. Tohomiko,” the stout older man sitting across from her assured. “I was able to look over your transcript before our meeting and I’m happy to say that I’m sure you will have no trouble catching up with the class.”

“Thank you,” Kimiko said with a nod. “I’ll work hard to catch up.”

“This is a copy of our syllabus, with all my contact information and office hours on the second page. The next page is all the reading and chapter review assignments for the semester as well as the reading assignments you’ve missed.” Kimiko nodded as he spoke and she looked over the paperwork passed to her. “Would a week be a sufficient amount of time for you to complete the back work?” her professor asked.

“Yes, of course, plenty of time,” Kimiko smiled as she put the papers carefully away in her bag.

“Will there be anything else then?” the professor asked.

“No, thank you for your time,” Kimiko said politely as she stood. “I guess I’ll see you in class and thanks again.” The older man nodded and waved her off as his phone rang and Kimiko closed the door soundlessly behind her. The meeting had taken less time than she anticipated and she still had another half an hour until she met with her second professor of the day before heading to her first class. ‘Might as well get some coffee and try to find my way to the next office,’ Kimiko decided and moved out of the small office building she’d been in and back out onto the campus and almost immediately noticed a coffee cart on the corner. She’d just gotten her coffee when she thought she heard a familiar voice but when she looked she saw no one she recognized.

‘Mind playing tricks on me,’ Kimiko decided as she moved off in the direction of her next professor’s office. Glancing at her watch Kimiko decided there was no need to rush and chose a bench to sit on and enjoy her coffee. ‘I wonder how Simon’s doing?’ Kimiko thought and laughed at herself for caring so thoroughly about the dog already. Suddenly her phone buzzed in her pocket and after digging it out and checking the screen Kimiko groan. ‘Bite the bullet and get it over with otherwise he’ll keep calling.’

“Hello?” Kimiko answered as if she didn’t know who it was.

“Good morning Kimiko,” Toya’s distracted voice filled her ears loudly.

“Oh, good morning Toya,” Kimiko greeted neutrally.

“You didn’t come to dinner on Friday,” he said in an accusatory tone apparently forgetting that he’d chewed her out for it on Friday when she called to cancel.

“Yes, we talked on Friday about it,” Kimiko said in a sweet voice. “Or don’t you remember?” There was a moment of recollection as Toya collected himself.

“Yes, sorry about that, must have slipped my mind.”

“Apparently I wasn’t missing much if you can’t even remember the dinner,” Kimiko told him after taking a loud sip of her coffee.

“Where are you?” he asked changing topics. “It sounds noisy.”

“New York City is generally noisy,” Kimiko told him. “And I’m at NYU. I start classes today, surely you remember that at least?”
“Kimiko you know I’m busy with things,” he lamented and as if to prove his point the noise of shuffling papers filled Kimiko’s ears. “Listen, why don’t I come into the city, you can show me your new place and I can take you out for a start of school dinner. What do you say?”

“I’ll think about it,” Kimiko lied, “I don’t want to take you away from your work. I know you’re very busy.” If he heard her sarcasm Toya didn’t say anything about it.

“Sound like a plan, listen, call me when your classes are done for the day. Love yeah babe,” Toya told her and then there was a click.

“Don’t call me babe,” Kimiko growled into her phone though she knew he couldn’t hear her. Sighing she turned the phone off and put it back in her pocket as she stood, thinking she should make her way to her next meeting. She’d just looked up from arranging her bag the way she liked it across her shoulders when her breath caught in her throat as she saw three familiar figures move across the courtyard on the far side. She’d guessed that Jermiane would stay in the city for school, and bet that Keiko would also to stay close to her new boyfriend as well as family. But she’d been so sure that Raimundo would have gone back to Brazil that seeing him was such a shock to her system that she had to sit back down and remind herself to breathe.

‘He was supposed to go back to Rio,’ Kimiko’s mind thought, ‘I was so sure he wouldn’t stay.’ Either way Kimiko couldn’t stand to be in that same spot any longer and keeping her head ducked down made her way to her next meeting where she barely heard a word of what her professor said, her mind instead going through various ways to avoid Raimundo now that she knew he was here.

‘He’ll probably be a lit major,’ she decided as she sat in the empty class room that would soon be full for her first class. ‘So just avoid any literature based courses and you should be fine.’

“Excuse me?” a voice brought her out of her own thoughts and Kimiko looked up at a blond leaning over her desk. “You’re in my seat.” Kimiko blinked dumbly back at her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know they were assigned,” Kimiko apologized but made no move to leave.

“They aren’t but I always sit there,” the girl told her snidely, “so move.”

“Sorry, I’m good here,” Kimiko smiled sweetly and the girl scowled.

“Listen you,” the girl started to threaten but a third voice interrupted. A hauntingly familiar voice.

“Is there a problem here?” a male voice, somewhat deeper than when she’d last heard it asked.

“Raimundo!” the girl nearly squealed turning to face the new comer and Kimiko froze momentarily. The blonde turning had given Raimundo enough time to catch just a glimpse of Kimiko but that was enough for recognition. Their eyes locked and Kimiko felt sheer panic rise up in her system as he practically shoved the blonde aside to see her better.

“Ki,” Rai barely managed out but Kimiko was already bolting out of the room, pack in hand as she nearly collided with more students entering the room “Kimiko wait!” she could hear Raimundo yell after her as he followed. Suddenly it was as if her body stopped listening to her and Kimiko came to a screeching halt and she turned to see him, Raimundo barely managing to stop before bowling her over. He stared as her, lost for words as she stared back, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to catch her breath. Raimundo’s eyes drank her in and couldn’t help but fall to her left hand that was turned away so he couldn’t see the ring. He’d often imagined what would happen when he and Kimiko finally saw one another again but none of the scenarios ever involved Kimiko running away, maybe to him but never away.

“Kimiko,” he said still in disbelief that she was standing in front of him. He took a step toward her and Kimiko automatically took a step back. Rai frowned at this and stood still. He was about to say something to her but another person suddenly showed up behind Kimiko.

“Is there a problem here?” the professor asked looking on the two with concern and interest.

“No,” Kimiko answered immediately.

“Well, then we best get to class. Shall we Ms. Tohomiko?” Kimiko nodded in agreement and slipped quickly past Raimundo, feeling his searching fingertips ignite fiery trails on her bare arms when he touched her. Trying to collect shaky breath Kimiko reentered the room to a lot of murmuring but just kept her head down and found an empty seat near the door for quick escape. Raimundo followed in after the professor and paused at Kimiko’s desk like he was about to sit down with her but the professor broke in.

“Please take your seat Mr. Pedrosa so we may begin.” Rai reluctantly obliged and sat in his seat toward the front, trying to discretely look back over his shoulder at Kimiko throughout the lesson. Kimiko meanwhile was trying to concentrate solely on the lesson had slipped a pill out of a bottle in her bag and took it with swig of water from the bottle she’d bought earlier but she didn’t feel the desired effect as quickly as she wanted. She considered taking another one when the professor closed the lesson and Kimiko scrambled to quickly collect her things. Rai was caught in the traffic of those exiting the room and was considering hopping the desks to get out quicker when he noticed the blonde girl from earlier, who took every opportunity to flirt with him shamelessly, walk over toward Kimiko’s desk and ‘accidentally’ knock the her folder onto the floor, spilling its contents everywhere. Kimiko didn’t even attempt to pick them up, resigned to her fate, until the room cleared a bit more and she knew Raimundo would be waiting.

And sure enough when she went to stooped to pick up the papers Raimundo was there as well and handed a stack over to her.

“Here,” he said lamely.

“Thanks,” Kimiko managed to whisper as she accepted them standing up, keeping her eyes downcast and missing Raimundo’s face light up.

“You aren’t wearing a ring,” Rai said very suddenly.

“Huh?” Kimiko asked looking up, generally confused.

“Does that mean you’ve broken off your engagement and that’s why you’re back in the States? Why didn’t you call before we…could….have,” he trialed off as Kimiko wordlessly pulled her necklace from beneath her clothes to show him the engagement ring that hung on its chain. Raimundo didn’t say anything as he processed this and Kimiko stowed the necklace away again. “But that still,” he sputtered out nonsensically. Kimiko didn’t say anything but turned to leave and had nearly made it to the door when Raimundo grabbed her and spun her with such great force that she nearly toppled over. Falling into his chest Raimundo grabbed her up and kissed her hard and long on the mouth, ignoring the first few feeble protests she managed, only pulling away when he felt tears rolling down her cheek. He stopped kissing her and Kimiko pulled out of his grasp.

“I have to go,” was all she said as she furiously rubbed at her eyes, not caring that she was rubbing mascara everywhere, “I have class.”

“No, talk to me,” Rai tried to protest but Kimiko shook her head soundly.

“I can’t, I can’t, I have a fiancé.”

“That means you can’t talk to me?” Rai spat out.

“Yes!” Kimiko yelled back at him surprising him. “I can’t talk to you ever,” Kimiko added softly before turning to leave again.

“This isn’t over,” Rai called after her and Kimiko stopped in the doorway and looked over her shoulder at him.

“Yes it is.”

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“You weren’t thinking good thoughts were you?” Kimiko accused of Simon as she walked back into her apartment later that day, certainly more composed but no less shaken. Simon gave a lazy sort yawn that said it wasn’t his fault, he was a dog. “Maybe I do need to get some human friends,” Kimiko told the dog who actually seemed to shake his head as he stretched his body after hopping down from the couch.

“So I saw somebody today,” Kimiko told Simon who followed her into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. She pulled out a chicken breast and divided between herself and Simon, thinking of a late lunch. “Someone I was hoping was gone, but I guess that was just wishful thinking.” The dog just continued to stare at her and Kimiko handed over her share of chicken as well. “You must have the metabolism of six dogs and that’s the only reason you stay thin,” Kimiko practically growled. Though the dog had gained some weight in his short time with Kimiko he was still thin for his size but Kimiko wasn’t very worried about it. Her mind went back to Raimundo as she wondered if Simon would like him and vice versa.

“I bet you’d like him,” Kimiko sniffed as she fought down tears. Simon poked her with his nose as if sensing her tears. “I bet he’d like you too,” Kimiko whispered as she slid down her cabinets toward the floor. “He still, it still feels so good when he kisses me,” Kimiko whispered to the floor and Simon edged closer. “He should have moved on,” Kimiko said looking up at Simon who was about level with her now, “why didn’t he move on?”

‘For the same reason you didn’t move on,’ a voice in her head told her and Kimiko bit back a sob. Simon moved even closer and Kimiko pulled him closer in a hug and she was so happy when he didn’t pull away, knowing that she had at least this uncomplicated love in her life.

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“She’s back,” Rai practically exclaimed when Keiko walked into the apartment nearly dropping the bag of groceries she was carrying.

“What?” Keiko as she asked when she recovered.

“Yeah what?” Jermaine asked following her in with his own brown bag.

“Kimiko! Kimiko’s back in New York and going to NYU,” Rai explained leaping off the couch where he’d been sitting, wound as tight as a coil.

“What?” both Keiko and Jermaine exclaimed disbelievingly.

“I saw her,” Rai started to say but Jermaine cut him off.

“From a distance I bet a lot of girls look like Kimiko,” Jermaine argued. “I bet Keiko looks like her from behind at some sort of distance.”

“Compliment, insult, compliment, insult?” Keiko mused weighting the options.

“No!” Rai interrupted grabbing both their attentions again. “She was in my class! I talked to her, hell I kissed her!” Both stared at him with shocked disbelieving faces. “You think I’m crazy or something?” Raimundo asked.

“The thought did cross my mind, yes,” Keiko told him.

“I’m not insane,” Rai groaned out.

“Ok, ok,” Jermaine said breaking in. “For the sake of peace we’ll say that you did see Kimiko. What is she doing in New York? And why hasn’t she called us or anything.”

“I have no idea,” Rai admitted, “but she pretty much freaked out when she saw me and said we couldn’t see each other anymore. She wasn’t wearing a ring though.”

“She wasn’t?” Keiko asked surprised.

“She had it on a necklace but she wasn’t wearing it,” Rai argued. “I tried to find out where she lives but the school couldn’t give me any information because she doesn’t live on campus.” Rai looked at Jermaine and Keiko both of who were giving him odd looks. “You honestly don’t believe me?” Rai asked surprised.

“It’s not that,” Keiko started to say but Raimundo cut her off.

“She’s in New York!” Rai yelled. “And tomorrow I’ll prove it!” With that said Raimundo turned and stormed off to his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him for good measure before falling on his unmade bed, wondering how his friends couldn’t believe him. “She’s here,” Raimundo said to the empty air, “but why?”

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“Holy crap,” Keiko whispered.

“See, I’m not insane,” Rai told her.

“That remains to be seen,” Keiko snapped back still unbelieving that she was seeing Kimiko walk so casually across the courtyard from where she and Raimundo stood, trying to look inconspicuous.

“Where are you going?” Rai asked when Keiko stepped forward.

“To talk to her,” Keiko told him.

“You can’t,” Raimundo insisted, “you’ll scare her off.”

“She’s not a deer or something that’ll run if we get too close,” Kieko told him.

“But,” Rai tried to protest. He hadn’t yet decided how he would deal with what he’d dubbed as ‘the Kimiko situation.’ He knew what he wanted to do, simply grab her and kiss her senseless until she remembered that they were in love with each other, but he was guessing it wasn’t that good of an idea. In the amount of time they’d interacted Raimundo had noticed many changes in Kimiko. She was certainly thinner, her eyes not nearly as bright, and she seemed so jumpy, jerky almost. Rai was worried about her and was thinking the best way to approached her would be carefully, slowly, gradually. “I think we should wait,” Rai told Keikio.

“You wait,” Keiko snapped, “but I want to talk to her.” Rai let her go and watched from a distance as she approached Kimiko.

Keiko was nervous as she walked closer to Kimiko who had stopped to answer her phone and was talking into it with a distracted air.

“No Toya,” Keiko overheard Kimiko saying into the phone. “I promise I’ll be there on Friday ok? Ok, then. I have to go, I have class. Only call if you have time. Yeah, bye.” Keiko listened to the one side of the conversation she heard and was slightly confused, she recognized the name Toya from the newspaper article she’d read but Kimiko didn’t seem pleased to hear from him at all. ‘I guess we were right about her not being happy about the engagement,’ Keiko thought as she realized Kimiko was walking away.

“Kimiko,” she called after and Kimiko immediately stopped and turned.

“Keiko?” she asked surprised and for a moment Keiko saw a flare of joy flash across her face before a more somber expression took over.

“Kimiko it is you,” Keiko breathed. “It’s so good to see you, I,” Keiko tried to say but Kimiko cut her of.

“It’s good to see you too Keiko but I have to get going,” Kimiko explained. “I have class.”

“I’ll walk with you,” Keiko offered. “I want to catch up.”

“Maybe later,” Kimiko said as she turned to walk off.

“But Kimiko,” Keiko protested.

“I promise we’ll talk later,” Kimiko lied easily as she looked over her shoulder back at Keiko and noticed Raimundo waiting a few feet off. “I just really can’t do this right now,” Kimiko said turning away quickly.

“See,” Rai told Keiko when he approached her again.

“What’s wrong with her?” Keiko asked confused. “She seemed so different.”

“I’m worried about her,” Raimundo admitted. “If I could just make sure she’s ok,” he said sounding dejected.

“Don’t worry,” Keiko assured him with a friendly hug, “we’ll figure something out.”

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“Hey Simon,” Kimiko called as she walked back into her apartment.

“Who’s Simon?” a voice asked and Kimiko bit back a scream. “Is he the dog? I hope he’s the dog otherwise I’d be worried you were cheating on me.”

“Toya,” Kimiko said recovering from her initial shock. “What are you doing here? How’d you get in?”

“You didn’t think I wouldn’t have a key to your apartment made for myself did you?” Toya asked with a sly sort of grin.

“Where is Simon?” Kimiko asked avoiding his grin and the fact that she was thoroughly disturbed by the fact that he had a key to what was supposed to be her sanctuary. Toya jerked his head to the corner where Simon sat looking as he did when Kimiko saw him at the shelter- a complete wreck.

“Where did you get that thing?” Toya asked her as Kimiko dropped her bag and moved to see if Simon was ok.

“This thing is a dog and I adopted him from the shelter a few days ago,” Kimiko told Toya without looking as him. Instead she was focused on drawing Simon out of the corner.

“If you wanted a dog I would have gotten you a dog, a real and proper dog” Toya told her coming closer to her and Simon immediately slinked away and Kimiko realized that she wasn’t going to win this fight with her nervous dog at the moment. So instead she stood and suddenly realized that Toya was standing very near to her and as soon as she’d completely stood he placed an arm around her and kissed her neatly on the cheek. “I’ve missed you,” he told her and Kimiko wondered how he could miss her since they’d barely spent time together even before she’d moved into New York City.

“Do you want some coffee?” Kimiko asked pulling away from him. “Or something else to drink?” she asked as she walked into the kitchen.

“I’m ok,” Toya said following her. “You’re place is kinda small,” he observed.

“Its good for one person,” Kimiko answered as she pulled out a can of soda from the refrigerator.

“What if you moved out?” Toya suggested and Kimiko spun around.

“What do you mean?” Kimiko asked popping the top of her soda. “I just moved in here.”

“I’m saying let’s get a nice place over looking Central Park that we can share,” Toya said moving closer and leaning against the sink while Kimiko set her drink aside untouched.

“But I like it here,” Kimiko said going to move out of the kitchen. “And you said you didn’t want to live in the city.”

“I’ll get transferred to the city office and then we won’t have to worry about a commute,” Toya answered catching her arm as she passed.

“What’s with the sudden change of heart?” Kimiko asked trying not to show her worry as she glanced at him.

“Like I said,” Toya answered and pulled her toward him, pinning her against the half of a wall that divided the kitchen from the small dining room. “I missed you,” he told her before kissing her on the lips and Kimiko wondered when he’d gotten so affectionate or, touchy.

“Toya,” Kimiko protested when he pulled away after it became apparent that she was staying tight lipped for the moment. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Maybe I’m thinking we need to push up our wedding date,” he told her as his hands began to caress her curves and Kimiko was too shocked to protest. “I know you wanted to graduate from college first but I don’t see why we need to wait.”
“But Toya,” Kimiko started to protest but he took advantage of her open mouth and kissed her soundly, invading her mouth. Kimiko tried to pull back but Toya had slipped to the back of her head, gripping her hair almost painfully as he angled her head as he liked it. His free hand continued to roam while one knee slipped between her legs. Toya finally pulled away from the kiss and Kimiko tried to shove him off.

“What are you doing?” she asked feeling angry, scared, and upset.

“I’m getting very anxious for our wedding night,” he told her as his knee moved suggestively and Kimiko’s eyes widened considerably wondering how Toya had gone from barely touching her all the way to this.

“What’s gotten into to you?” Kimiko asked still trying to push him off with no success.

“Let’s move in together,” Toya insisted again.

“Toya, I don’t want to, not now,” she told him silently adding ‘ideally never.’

“Your dad said you were having second thoughts,” Toya told her and Kimiko’s eyes widened again. “I thought I might assure you a bit that I’m all in this.”

“You and my father are awfully chummy,” Kimiko observed and Toya grinned at her.

“Well, you don’t tell me anything,” he said moving to kiss the side of her neck. “We need to change that.”

“What is going on with you?” Kimiko asked finally managing to shove him off.

“What do you mean?” Toya asked.

“You’ve never acted like this before,” Kimiko told him resisting the urge to rub at her lip or neck.

“Well don’t you think it’s about time I started?” Toya asked starting to sound angry. “Does it bother you?”

“It’s just very sudden,” Kimiko said hoping that wouldn’t offend him. “I mean, when this all started out,”

“What do you mean all of this?” Toya interrupted.

“The engagement,” Kimiko answered easily. “You and I both know its more about convenience than anything.”

“How could you say that?” Toya asked his eyes narrowing.

“Don’t lie Toya.”

“You know I care about you, a lot,” he added for good measure. “Maybe if you let me in at all than you’d know that.” Kimiko looked away not wanting to admit that was probably true but Toya had never shown her any sort of genuine affection before now, at least none that she’d seen or noticed. He was suddenly up against her again. “You know it’s hard for me to let out my feelings. Let me show you I care,” he whispered as his lips, hands, and knee resumed their earlier actions. Kimiko managed to pull her head back this time since both of his hands were focused on exploring her body this time.

“Toya stop it,” she order but he didn’t seem interested in listening and when she moved to shove him off he caught her hands and brought them behind her back, holding them with one hand. “Toya,” Kimiko said her fear rising a bit.

“Let me show you,” Toya repeated as his free hand slipped under her shirt and Kimiko closed her eyes against the invasion but they snapped open almost immediately at the sound of Simon’s bark and his jaws snapping shut mere inches from Toya’s thigh. If Toya hadn;t jumped at the sound of the warning bark he probably would have been bit.

“What the hell!” Toya yelled jumping back immediately. “He tried to bite me! That dog is dangerous!”

“No,” Kimiko said immediately dragging Simon, gently back. “He was just protecting me. That’s what dogs are supposed to do.”

“Why the hell was he going after me though?” Toya asked not moving from his spot pressed against the countertop.

“He must have thought you were attacking me,” Kimiko ventured a guess trying to sooth the rattled dog. “Its ok,” she whispered to the dog who was shaking from head to tail.

“I’ll be ok once you put that dog away, preferably back to the wherever you got it,” Toya told her and Kimiko didn’t bother to tell him that she’d been talking to the dog.

“Let me put him in my bedroom,” Kimiko told Toya though she really didn’t want to. She wanted Toya to leave but she also wanted Simon to calm down who was only getting worse and Kimiko guessed it was Toya’s presence. By the time she got Simon settled it seem Toya had collected himself as well.

“That dog is crazy,” he told her as soon as Kimiko walked back in the room.

“He’s just nervous around strangers,” Kimiko said making excuses, “I’m sure he’ll get used to you.”

“Maybe,” Toya said looking unconvinced. “But I still think it would be better to have a proper dog.”

“I don’t want to argue about this right now,” Kimiko said shaking her head and folding her arms across her chest.

“Me either,” Toya agreed. “Are you ok?”

“You just came on a little strong,” Kimiko told him looking at the floor.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized and moved near her again. “I’m just excited,” he told her stroking her arm lightly and Kimiko couldn’t help but compare the simple action to similar one Raimundo had done the day before and how different her reactions were. Rai’s touch had set her skin on fire and Toya’s made her shiver. “I really think you should give some thought to us living together,” Toya said in a tone that made Kimiko think she couldn’t argue about it, or worse it was already taken care of.

“Ok,” Kimiko conceded

“I should get going,” Toya went on when it became apparent that she wasn’t going to say anything else. “I need to get back to Stamford.”

“Ok,” Kimiko said dully.

“Bye then,” he told her and then kissed her on the cheek. Kimiko watched him move toward the door and stopped to look back at her. “Kimiko, I do love you, and I hope that you could return at least some of that feeling one day,” Toya told her shocking her thoroughly. It was the first time Toya had made such a confession to her and what was worst, she believed him. In some way, Toya did love her. Toya didn’t wait for a response and walked out of the door and Kimiko finally moved after a moment to lock it behind him. She then immediately moved back to her bedroom and opened the door to find Simon lounging comfortable across her bed.

“I’m so cooking you a steak for dinner.”

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The next few days were stressful for Kimiko as she did her best to avoid Keiko and Jermaine who seemed determined to talk to her. Her phone was also ringing off the hook between her father and Toya. Toya was becoming adamant about finding a better place for them to share in the city but thankfully hadn’t come to see her in person again. Her father told her that he wanted to have a talk with her but Kimiko kept putting that off, making increasingly lame excuses to avoid him. And then there was Raimundo who was the only one not trying to approach her but Kimiko could feel his eyes on her in class and caught him watching her sometimes in various parts of campus. There was always worry and concern in his eyes and Kimiko wonder how he could possibly know anything.

It was close to maddening.

The idea that he could still know her so well despite the fact that they hadn’t communicated in years. Kimiko knew it wasn’t that crazy because that had been friends for so long before they were in a relationship and he’d always been able to read her so well. It was just that she didn’t want him to be concerned. She wanted him to go away and forget about her. Her fate was sealed. The way Toya was pushing it seemed that the wedding might even occur by the end of summer instead of after she graduated. Kimiko wished so badly that Raimundo would show up one day class with a girl hanging off his arms or some other sign that he’d finally let go of her.

But the idea of it was so unbelievably lonely it was physically painful.

“I’m thinking about transferring,” Kimiko told her father one Friday night after she’d returned from what was becoming her weekly dinner with the Higuchi’s at their home in Stamford.

“After you fought so hard to so to NYU?” her father asked disbelievingly.

“Its not turning out the way I thought it would and I’m not as happy in New York as I thought I would be,” Kimiko explained. It wasn’t a complete lie but Kimiko thought that was all her father needed to know.

“Toya has told me that he wants to move in with you,” Toshiro told her.

“It’s been discussed,” Kimiko admitted.

“He also seems eager to move up the wedding date.”

“That I am not as keen on,” Kimiko told him. “If there was anyway that you would work it so that didn’t happen I’d appreciate it.”

“It is your wedding Kimiko,” Toshiro told her, “that is your decision isn’t it?” Kimiko swallowed hard and choose to make a bold move.

“I’ve never thought of it as my wedding,” Kimiko told him. “Whatever was convenient for you.”

“Kimiko,” Toshiro said sounding concerned, “I never knew you felt that way.” Kimiko nearly broke down in tears as he said that.

“I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed Dad,” Kimiko told him. “Just forget I said that. But honestly, the wedding date doesn’t matter to me. Whatever is better for you and the business.”

“Kimiko,” her father said sternly, “your feelings and happiness are more important then my business or anything else for that matter.” Now Kimiko was crying.

“Why didn’t you say all of this two years ago?” she asked tearfully into the phone.

“Kimiko why are you crying?” Toshiro asked.

“Its nothing,” Kimiko lied, “I’m just over tired is all. And anyway what’s done is done right? We can’t turn back time now can we?”
“Kimiko,” Toshiro said urgently.

“I have to go Dad,” Kimiko spoke over him. “I’ll call you later. Bye.”

“Kimiko wait,” her father protested by Kimiko was already hanging up. Dropping the phone on the couch she’d been sitting on Kimiko stood quickly and hurried to the bathroom, Simon following swiftly on her heels. Urgently Kimiko pulled open her mirrored cabinet door and pulled out various prescription bottles, checking their labels before deciding on one and dumping a random number of pills into her hand. She was about to swallow them all when Simon suddenly barked frightening her enough to jump and drop the pills on the floor.

“Simon!” Kimiko yelled. “Don’t scare me!” The dog cowered slightly but still moved timidly forward into the bathroom, a room he’d always adamantly avoided. Kimiko watched him move with a bit of wonder as he moved closer to her and sat at her feet whining pitifully. “Oh Simon,” Kimiko practically sobbed as she sank to her knees and wrapped her arms around the dog. She stayed that way for many long minutes before finally releasing him and telling him softly, “its ok, I’m ok, you don’t have to stay here.” As soon as she finished saying that the dog scrambled out of the room but still stayed watching her from the doorway. Kimiko gave a wet sounding laugh as she scooped up the pills she dropped and put all but one back in the bottle. She took the one she left out along with a sleep aid and almost immediately felt the effects move through her body.

“Let’s go to bed Simon,” Kimiko suggested still slightly shaken. The dog wagged his tail weakly at her suggestion, apparently as exhausted by the night’s activities as she was.

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Despite taking sleep medication Kimiko hadn’t slept well. Her mind was too full of different options and scenarios to ever fully come to rest. And after much tossing and turning she’d finally come to a conclusion. She believed what she told her father the night before; there was no going back now, no way to take back what had occurred over the past two years. She’d pushed her best friends and Raimundo away and moved onto, although unwillingly, a new life and one that she had to accept.

That’s why she standing in front of Raimundo’s apartment building trying to gain more courage. It was an overcast day with the bite of fall slowly starting to fill the air. Kimiko had woken up early and decided on what she needed to do but hadn’t managed to leave her apartment until later in the afternoon. She’d gotten Raimundo’s address after calling student information. Kimiko had asked to remain unlisted but luckily for her Raimundo’s information was open to the public. After one more deep breath for courage Kimiko rang the buzzer to Raimundo’s apartment and waited.

“Hello?” Raimundo’s voice came over the call box.

“It’s me Raimundo,” Kimiko said, “its Kimiko. Can I come up?” Raimundo didn’t immediately answer, instead after a pause there was more buzzing and Kimiko realized her unlocked the door for her. She hesitated momentarily before pulling the door open and walking inside.

Down the street Kimiko was watched by someone whose mouth hung open with shock. Finally she recovered and pulled out her phone and dialed a number.

“Hey Jermaine, its Keiko. I was wondering if I could stay over at your place tonight. I’ll explain when I get there. Thanks.”

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“Chase? Chase Young?” Kimiko gasped unable to believe her eyes. There were literally millions of people in New York City and yet she’d somehow managed to run into him. “Holy crap,” Kimiko whispered not sure how else to react. He hadn’t changed a bit, expect maybe his face was now better defined and his hair a little longer and messier.

“Nice to see you Kimiko,” Chase said with a satisfied sort of smirk. “And might I be the first to offer my congratulations on your engagement.” Kimiko’s eyes narrowed at his tone but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of getting her worked up.

“Thank you for catching Simon,” she managed out stiffly and then turned to go.

“I always thought you and Pedrosa would end up getting married,” Chase went on unwillingly making Kimiko stop at the mention of Raimundo. “But I guess you two weren’t really meant to be,” he shrugged. Kimiko remained silent as Simon pressed his nose into her hand, as if sensing her growing level of distress. “I heard you didn’t even come back to Mercer for your senior year. Never thought you’d be like that Kimiko.”

“What you talking about?” Kimiko asked playing dumb.

“That you’d roll over that easy,” Chase told her and Kimiko immediately stiffened. “I’ve heard all about it,” Chase went on. “About how you returned home and broke off contact with your boyfriend. They said that your father’s new wife, your step mother has made your father do a complete three sixty and convinced him that you needed to be apart of the company’s future. And to think they used to call your father a modern man by giving you as much freedom as he used to. Though I guess he is still a modern man of sorts since he’s letting a woman rule his life.”

“Stop talking about my father like that,” Kimiko snapped still not turning to face him and wondering why she wasn’t just walking away.

“I guess I had you judged wrong Kimiko,” Chase said after her small outburst. “I never pegged you as the time to just give up everything you wanted for someone else.”

“Some people would call that selfless,” Kimiko observed.

“In some context,” Chase agreed, “but in your case I call it spineless.”

“Don’t judge me,” Kimiko hissed looking over her shoulder at him. There was silence and Kimiko still couldn’t manage to make her body move.

“If you ever need anything, need to talk or something,” Chase said sounding like he was moving away, “you can look me up. I’m still at NYU.” When she was sure he was gone Kimiko sank to her knees and Simon immediately pressed his face into hers in an act of comfort and Kimiko wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging his warm body to her.

“Thanks Simon,” Kimiko said when her tears subsided. “Let’s go home; I think we’ve both had enough of the park for one day.”

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Monday morning dawned for Kimiko with a fight with her father which was unfortunately staring to become the majority of their conversations

“Dad I am not having an escort go with me to school,” Kimiko snapped into the phone. “Just whose idea was this anyways? Yours? Toya’s?”

“You know we both only do what we do because we care,” Toshiro told her.

“Yeah right,” Kimiko scoffed.

“Watch that tone young lady,” Toshiro warned. “I knew this move back to New York was a mistake.”

“Moving back to Tokyo was a mistake,” Kimiko muttered into the phone knowing her father heard her and was surprised when he didn’t respond immediately.

“Are you really that object to the life I’ve planned for you?” Toshiro asked her in a soft voice full of genuine concern she hadn’t heard in some time. Kimiko switched the phone to speaker and set it on the bathroom counter as she pulled various pills from different bottles.

“I can’t really talk about this right now Dad,” Kimiko said finally after she finished swallowing. “I have to get to class and stuff.”

“I will call off the escort,” Toshiro conceded.

“Thanks Dad,” Kimiko said genuinely happy.

“We will talk, soon?” Toshiro asked.

“Sure Dad, I’ll call you soon,” she promised.

“Goodbye then Kimiko. Good luck on your first day,” Toshrio told her before handing up. Kimiko followed suit and hung up as well and then proceeded to stare into the mirror.

“Why’d he have to pick now to get concerned?” Kimiko asked her reflection. “Its too late now, isn’t it?” Her answer came in the form of a whine as Simon sat just on the edge of the tiny bathroom, it was the one room he refused to enter and Kimiko guessed it was because of the tile for some reason or another.

“So you promise not to tear up the house and pee everywhere right?” Kimiko asked and Simon gave her a guilty look as if sensing that she was leaving. “No guilt trips,” Kimiko told him. “I cooked you a burger for breakfast and everything. And I’ll be back by two at the latest. And I’m leaving the TV on for you, aren’t I a good owner?” Simon didn’t respond, just scratched at his ear with his back leg. “Ingrate,” Kimiko muttered and looked at the clock. It was just eight thirty and that would give her plenty of time to get to class, find her way around, and meet early with the professors for her two classes that day to get the back work since she was starting the semester two weeks late.

“I’m going now,” Kimiko said placing another burger in Simon’s bowl, “so be good and think good thoughts so things go well.” Simon yawned and settled on the couch in front of the television. “What a dog,” Kimiko muttered as she walked out and locked the door behind her.

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“Go and have breakfast with Jermaine,” Rai was insisting around the same time that Kimiko was leaving her apartment.

“Oh I am,” Keiko replied, “and you’re coming with me.”

“Didn’t you prove yesterday that I can leave the apartment? Today I think I’d like to test that I can do it without you assistance,” Rai replied pulling a bagel from the toaster.

“I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you and considering I can’t even pick you up, well, you get the idea,” Keiko told him glaring at him from across the room. “Come and have breakfast with me and Jermaine,” Keiko said again, “we’re your friends so why are you so object to all of this?”

“Because I’d feel like I’d be intruding on you and Jermaine’s time together,” Rai explained.

“Fine, don’t eat with us,” Keiko pouted, “but you’re at least leaving with me.” Rai opened his mouth to argue but shut it and decided to humor her.

“Fine,” he said giving in much to Keiko’s delight and surprise. “Just let me grab my bag. It’s back in my room.”

“Sure thing!” Keiko grinned happily and Rai half returned her smile. He had yet to thank Keiko for all that she had done for him since he’d read about Kimiko’s engagement. He wasn’t sure what he would have done without Keiko there to ‘gently’ prod him back from the edge. And she’d been right to tell him that he only had two options. He already knew that no matter how much he wanted to, he didn’t think there was anyway to get at Kimiko now. He had visions of flying to Tokyo and sneaking into her home and convincing her that she still loved him but it didn’t seem to be possible. But, there was also no way that he could ever really move on from Kimiko. He’d made her a promise that he intended to keep. Kimiko had never promised him the same so he couldn’t begrudge her moving on. So he planned on making it looked like he’d gone on, so not to worry his friends, but in his heart of hearts he would never move on from Kimiko.

As he shoved his last books into his backpack Raimundo paused as he moved to include his personal writing book. Often mistaken for some sort of diary, Raimundo kept the paperback sized notebook handy at all times incase he need to jot down anything in regards to his writing. But maybe more importantly is contained a picture of him and Kimiko from his sister’s wedding, taken when both were unaware and on the dance floor, Kimiko in a long sweeping green sundress and Raimundo in his suit. It must have been a slow song because Kimiko was pressed against his body, head tucked under his chin, eyes closed and face turned toward the camera. Rai too had his eyes closed, resting his head on top of Kimiko’s with one arm wrapped around his waist and other across her shoulder blades while Kimiko’s arms wrapped snugly around his neck. He’d been planning on giving her a copy when she returned to New York, he’d been that certain that she’s come back and when she hadn’t he tucked the picture away for his eyes only. He debated now, on removing it from his writing journal and for a moment he almost did.

‘No,’ he decided tucking the picture back into its old place, ‘this piece of her I get to keep.’

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“Thank you very much for agreeing to meet with me Professor,” Kimiko said resisting the urge to bow, remembering that she was back in America.

“It’s no trouble Ms. Tohomiko,” the stout older man sitting across from her assured. “I was able to look over your transcript before our meeting and I’m happy to say that I’m sure you will have no trouble catching up with the class.”

“Thank you,” Kimiko said with a nod. “I’ll work hard to catch up.”

“This is a copy of our syllabus, with all my contact information and office hours on the second page. The next page is all the reading and chapter review assignments for the semester as well as the reading assignments you’ve missed.” Kimiko nodded as he spoke and she looked over the paperwork passed to her. “Would a week be a sufficient amount of time for you to complete the back work?” her professor asked.

“Yes, of course, plenty of time,” Kimiko smiled as she put the papers carefully away in her bag.

“Will there be anything else then?” the professor asked.

“No, thank you for your time,” Kimiko said politely as she stood. “I guess I’ll see you in class and thanks again.” The older man nodded and waved her off as his phone rang and Kimiko closed the door soundlessly behind her. The meeting had taken less time than she anticipated and she still had another half an hour until she met with her second professor of the day before heading to her first class. ‘Might as well get some coffee and try to find my way to the next office,’ Kimiko decided and moved out of the small office building she’d been in and back out onto the campus and almost immediately noticed a coffee cart on the corner. She’d just gotten her coffee when she thought she heard a familiar voice but when she looked she saw no one she recognized.

‘Mind playing tricks on me,’ Kimiko decided as she moved off in the direction of her next professor’s office. Glancing at her watch Kimiko decided there was no need to rush and chose a bench to sit on and enjoy her coffee. ‘I wonder how Simon’s doing?’ Kimiko thought and laughed at herself for caring so thoroughly about the dog already. Suddenly her phone buzzed in her pocket and after digging it out and checking the screen Kimiko groan. ‘Bite the bullet and get it over with otherwise he’ll keep calling.’

“Hello?” Kimiko answered as if she didn’t know who it was.

“Good morning Kimiko,” Toya’s distracted voice filled her ears loudly.

“Oh, good morning Toya,” Kimiko greeted neutrally.

“You didn’t come to dinner on Friday,” he said in an accusatory tone apparently forgetting that he’d chewed her out for it on Friday when she called to cancel.

“Yes, we talked on Friday about it,” Kimiko said in a sweet voice. “Or don’t you remember?” There was a moment of recollection as Toya collected himself.

“Yes, sorry about that, must have slipped my mind.”

“Apparently I wasn’t missing much if you can’t even remember the dinner,” Kimiko told him after taking a loud sip of her coffee.

“Where are you?” he asked changing topics. “It sounds noisy.”

“New York City is generally noisy,” Kimiko told him. “And I’m at NYU. I start classes today, surely you remember that at least?”
“Kimiko you know I’m busy with things,” he lamented and as if to prove his point the noise of shuffling papers filled Kimiko’s ears. “Listen, why don’t I come into the city, you can show me your new place and I can take you out for a start of school dinner. What do you say?”

“I’ll think about it,” Kimiko lied, “I don’t want to take you away from your work. I know you’re very busy.” If he heard her sarcasm Toya didn’t say anything about it.

“Sound like a plan, listen, call me when your classes are done for the day. Love yeah babe,” Toya told her and then there was a click.

“Don’t call me babe,” Kimiko growled into her phone though she knew he couldn’t hear her. Sighing she turned the phone off and put it back in her pocket as she stood, thinking she should make her way to her next meeting. She’d just looked up from arranging her bag the way she liked it across her shoulders when her breath caught in her throat as she saw three familiar figures move across the courtyard on the far side. She’d guessed that Jermiane would stay in the city for school, and bet that Keiko would also to stay close to her new boyfriend as well as family. But she’d been so sure that Raimundo would have gone back to Brazil that seeing him was such a shock to her system that she had to sit back down and remind herself to breathe.

‘He was supposed to go back to Rio,’ Kimiko’s mind thought, ‘I was so sure he wouldn’t stay.’ Either way Kimiko couldn’t stand to be in that same spot any longer and keeping her head ducked down made her way to her next meeting where she barely heard a word of what her professor said, her mind instead going through various ways to avoid Raimundo now that she knew he was here.

‘He’ll probably be a lit major,’ she decided as she sat in the empty class room that would soon be full for her first class. ‘So just avoid any literature based courses and you should be fine.’

“Excuse me?” a voice brought her out of her own thoughts and Kimiko looked up at a blond leaning over her desk. “You’re in my seat.” Kimiko blinked dumbly back at her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know they were assigned,” Kimiko apologized but made no move to leave.

“They aren’t but I always sit there,” the girl told her snidely, “so move.”

“Sorry, I’m good here,” Kimiko smiled sweetly and the girl scowled.

“Listen you,” the girl started to threaten but a third voice interrupted. A hauntingly familiar voice.

“Is there a problem here?” a male voice, somewhat deeper than when she’d last heard it asked.

“Raimundo!” the girl nearly squealed turning to face the new comer and Kimiko froze momentarily. The blonde turning had given Raimundo enough time to catch just a glimpse of Kimiko but that was enough for recognition. Their eyes locked and Kimiko felt sheer panic rise up in her system as he practically shoved the blonde aside to see her better.

“Ki,” Rai barely managed out but Kimiko was already bolting out of the room, pack in hand as she nearly collided with more students entering the room “Kimiko wait!” she could hear Raimundo yell after her as he followed. Suddenly it was as if her body stopped listening to her and Kimiko came to a screeching halt and she turned to see him, Raimundo barely managing to stop before bowling her over. He stared as her, lost for words as she stared back, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to catch her breath. Raimundo’s eyes drank her in and couldn’t help but fall to her left hand that was turned away so he couldn’t see the ring. He’d often imagined what would happen when he and Kimiko finally saw one another again but none of the scenarios ever involved Kimiko running away, maybe to him but never away.

“Kimiko,” he said still in disbelief that she was standing in front of him. He took a step toward her and Kimiko automatically took a step back. Rai frowned at this and stood still. He was about to say something to her but another person suddenly showed up behind Kimiko.

“Is there a problem here?” the professor asked looking on the two with concern and interest.

“No,” Kimiko answered immediately.

“Well, then we best get to class. Shall we Ms. Tohomiko?” Kimiko nodded in agreement and slipped quickly past Raimundo, feeling his searching fingertips ignite fiery trails on her bare arms when he touched her. Trying to collect shaky breath Kimiko reentered the room to a lot of murmuring but just kept her head down and found an empty seat near the door for quick escape. Raimundo followed in after the professor and paused at Kimiko’s desk like he was about to sit down with her but the professor broke in.

“Please take your seat Mr. Pedrosa so we may begin.” Rai reluctantly obliged and sat in his seat toward the front, trying to discretely look back over his shoulder at Kimiko throughout the lesson. Kimiko meanwhile was trying to concentrate solely on the lesson had slipped a pill out of a bottle in her bag and took it with swig of water from the bottle she’d bought earlier but she didn’t feel the desired effect as quickly as she wanted. She considered taking another one when the professor closed the lesson and Kimiko scrambled to quickly collect her things. Rai was caught in the traffic of those exiting the room and was considering hopping the desks to get out quicker when he noticed the blonde girl from earlier, who took every opportunity to flirt with him shamelessly, walk over toward Kimiko’s desk and ‘accidentally’ knock the her folder onto the floor, spilling its contents everywhere. Kimiko didn’t even attempt to pick them up, resigned to her fate, until the room cleared a bit more and she knew Raimundo would be waiting.

And sure enough when she went to stooped to pick up the papers Raimundo was there as well and handed a stack over to her.

“Here,” he said lamely.

“Thanks,” Kimiko managed to whisper as she accepted them standing up, keeping her eyes downcast and missing Raimundo’s face light up.

“You aren’t wearing a ring,” Rai said very suddenly.

“Huh?” Kimiko asked looking up, generally confused.

“Does that mean you’ve broken off your engagement and that’s why you’re back in the States? Why didn’t you call before we…could….have,” he trialed off as Kimiko wordlessly pulled her necklace from beneath her clothes to show him the engagement ring that hung on its chain. Raimundo didn’t say anything as he processed this and Kimiko stowed the necklace away again. “But that still,” he sputtered out nonsensically. Kimiko didn’t say anything but turned to leave and had nearly made it to the door when Raimundo grabbed her and spun her with such great force that she nearly toppled over. Falling into his chest Raimundo grabbed her up and kissed her hard and long on the mouth, ignoring the first few feeble protests she managed, only pulling away when he felt tears rolling down her cheek. He stopped kissing her and Kimiko pulled out of his grasp.

“I have to go,” was all she said as she furiously rubbed at her eyes, not caring that she was rubbing mascara everywhere, “I have class.”

“No, talk to me,” Rai tried to protest but Kimiko shook her head soundly.

“I can’t, I can’t, I have a fiancé.”

“That means you can’t talk to me?” Rai spat out.

“Yes!” Kimiko yelled back at him surprising him. “I can’t talk to you ever,” Kimiko added softly before turning to leave again.

“This isn’t over,” Rai called after her and Kimiko stopped in the doorway and looked over her shoulder at him.

“Yes it is.”

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“You weren’t thinking good thoughts were you?” Kimiko accused of Simon as she walked back into her apartment later that day, certainly more composed but no less shaken. Simon gave a lazy sort yawn that said it wasn’t his fault, he was a dog. “Maybe I do need to get some human friends,” Kimiko told the dog who actually seemed to shake his head as he stretched his body after hopping down from the couch.

“So I saw somebody today,” Kimiko told Simon who followed her into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. She pulled out a chicken breast and divided between herself and Simon, thinking of a late lunch. “Someone I was hoping was gone, but I guess that was just wishful thinking.” The dog just continued to stare at her and Kimiko handed over her share of chicken as well. “You must have the metabolism of six dogs and that’s the only reason you stay thin,” Kimiko practically growled. Though the dog had gained some weight in his short time with Kimiko he was still thin for his size but Kimiko wasn’t very worried about it. Her mind went back to Raimundo as she wondered if Simon would like him and vice versa.

“I bet you’d like him,” Kimiko sniffed as she fought down tears. Simon poked her with his nose as if sensing her tears. “I bet he’d like you too,” Kimiko whispered as she slid down her cabinets toward the floor. “He still, it still feels so good when he kisses me,” Kimiko whispered to the floor and Simon edged closer. “He should have moved on,” Kimiko said looking up at Simon who was about level with her now, “why didn’t he move on?”

‘For the same reason you didn’t move on,’ a voice in her head told her and Kimiko bit back a sob. Simon moved even closer and Kimiko pulled him closer in a hug and she was so happy when he didn’t pull away, knowing that she had at least this uncomplicated love in her life.

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“She’s back,” Rai practically exclaimed when Keiko walked into the apartment nearly dropping the bag of groceries she was carrying.

“What?” Keiko as she asked when she recovered.

“Yeah what?” Jermaine asked following her in with his own brown bag.

“Kimiko! Kimiko’s back in New York and going to NYU,” Rai explained leaping off the couch where he’d been sitting, wound as tight as a coil.

“What?” both Keiko and Jermaine exclaimed disbelievingly.

“I saw her,” Rai started to say but Jermaine cut him off.

“From a distance I bet a lot of girls look like Kimiko,” Jermaine argued. “I bet Keiko looks like her from behind at some sort of distance.”

“Compliment, insult, compliment, insult?” Keiko mused weighting the options.

“No!” Rai interrupted grabbing both their attentions again. “She was in my class! I talked to her, hell I kissed her!” Both stared at him with shocked disbelieving faces. “You think I’m crazy or something?” Raimundo asked.

“The thought did cross my mind, yes,” Keiko told him.

“I’m not insane,” Rai groaned out.

“Ok, ok,” Jermaine said breaking in. “For the sake of peace we’ll say that you did see Kimiko. What is she doing in New York? And why hasn’t she called us or anything.”

“I have no idea,” Rai admitted, “but she pretty much freaked out when she saw me and said we couldn’t see each other anymore. She wasn’t wearing a ring though.”

“She wasn’t?” Keiko asked surprised.

“She had it on a necklace but she wasn’t wearing it,” Rai argued. “I tried to find out where she lives but the school couldn’t give me any information because she doesn’t live on campus.” Rai looked at Jermaine and Keiko both of who were giving him odd looks. “You honestly don’t believe me?” Rai asked surprised.

“It’s not that,” Keiko started to say but Raimundo cut her off.

“She’s in New York!” Rai yelled. “And tomorrow I’ll prove it!” With that said Raimundo turned and stormed off to his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him for good measure before falling on his unmade bed, wondering how his friends couldn’t believe him. “She’s here,” Raimundo said to the empty air, “but why?”

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“Holy crap,” Keiko whispered.

“See, I’m not insane,” Rai told her.

“That remains to be seen,” Keiko snapped back still unbelieving that she was seeing Kimiko walk so casually across the courtyard from where she and Raimundo stood, trying to look inconspicuous.

“Where are you going?” Rai asked when Keiko stepped forward.

“To talk to her,” Keiko told him.

“You can’t,” Raimundo insisted, “you’ll scare her off.”

“She’s not a deer or something that’ll run if we get too close,” Kieko told him.

“But,” Rai tried to protest. He hadn’t yet decided how he would deal with what he’d dubbed as ‘the Kimiko situation.’ He knew what he wanted to do, simply grab her and kiss her senseless until she remembered that they were in love with each other, but he was guessing it wasn’t that good of an idea. In the amount of time they’d interacted Raimundo had noticed many changes in Kimiko. She was certainly thinner, her eyes not nearly as bright, and she seemed so jumpy, jerky almost. Rai was worried about her and was thinking the best way to approached her would be carefully, slowly, gradually. “I think we should wait,” Rai told Keikio.

“You wait,” Keiko snapped, “but I want to talk to her.” Rai let her go and watched from a distance as she approached Kimiko.

Keiko was nervous as she walked closer to Kimiko who had stopped to answer her phone and was talking into it with a distracted air.

“No Toya,” Keiko overheard Kimiko saying into the phone. “I promise I’ll be there on Friday ok? Ok, then. I have to go, I have class. Only call if you have time. Yeah, bye.” Keiko listened to the one side of the conversation she heard and was slightly confused, she recognized the name Toya from the newspaper article she’d read but Kimiko didn’t seem pleased to hear from him at all. ‘I guess we were right about her not being happy about the engagement,’ Keiko thought as she realized Kimiko was walking away.

“Kimiko,” she called after and Kimiko immediately stopped and turned.

“Keiko?” she asked surprised and for a moment Keiko saw a flare of joy flash across her face before a more somber expression took over.

“Kimiko it is you,” Keiko breathed. “It’s so good to see you, I,” Keiko tried to say but Kimiko cut her of.

“It’s good to see you too Keiko but I have to get going,” Kimiko explained. “I have class.”

“I’ll walk with you,” Keiko offered. “I want to catch up.”

“Maybe later,” Kimiko said as she turned to walk off.

“But Kimiko,” Keiko protested.

“I promise we’ll talk later,” Kimiko lied easily as she looked over her shoulder back at Keiko and noticed Raimundo waiting a few feet off. “I just really can’t do this right now,” Kimiko said turning away quickly.

“See,” Rai told Keiko when he approached her again.

“What’s wrong with her?” Keiko asked confused. “She seemed so different.”

“I’m worried about her,” Raimundo admitted. “If I could just make sure she’s ok,” he said sounding dejected.

“Don’t worry,” Keiko assured him with a friendly hug, “we’ll figure something out.”

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“Hey Simon,” Kimiko called as she walked back into her apartment.

“Who’s Simon?” a voice asked and Kimiko bit back a scream. “Is he the dog? I hope he’s the dog otherwise I’d be worried you were cheating on me.”

“Toya,” Kimiko said recovering from her initial shock. “What are you doing here? How’d you get in?”

“You didn’t think I wouldn’t have a key to your apartment made for myself did you?” Toya asked with a sly sort of grin.

“Where is Simon?” Kimiko asked avoiding his grin and the fact that she was thoroughly disturbed by the fact that he had a key to what was supposed to be her sanctuary. Toya jerked his head to the corner where Simon sat looking as he did when Kimiko saw him at the shelter- a complete wreck.

“Where did you get that thing?” Toya asked her as Kimiko dropped her bag and moved to see if Simon was ok.

“This thing is a dog and I adopted him from the shelter a few days ago,” Kimiko told Toya without looking as him. Instead she was focused on drawing Simon out of the corner.

“If you wanted a dog I would have gotten you a dog, a real and proper dog” Toya told her coming closer to her and Simon immediately slinked away and Kimiko realized that she wasn’t going to win this fight with her nervous dog at the moment. So instead she stood and suddenly realized that Toya was standing very near to her and as soon as she’d completely stood he placed an arm around her and kissed her neatly on the cheek. “I’ve missed you,” he told her and Kimiko wondered how he could miss her since they’d barely spent time together even before she’d moved into New York City.

“Do you want some coffee?” Kimiko asked pulling away from him. “Or something else to drink?” she asked as she walked into the kitchen.

“I’m ok,” Toya said following her. “You’re place is kinda small,” he observed.

“Its good for one person,” Kimiko answered as she pulled out a can of soda from the refrigerator.

“What if you moved out?” Toya suggested and Kimiko spun around.

“What do you mean?” Kimiko asked popping the top of her soda. “I just moved in here.”

“I’m saying let’s get a nice place over looking Central Park that we can share,” Toya said moving closer and leaning against the sink while Kimiko set her drink aside untouched.

“But I like it here,” Kimiko said going to move out of the kitchen. “And you said you didn’t want to live in the city.”

“I’ll get transferred to the city office and then we won’t have to worry about a commute,” Toya answered catching her arm as she passed.

“What’s with the sudden change of heart?” Kimiko asked trying not to show her worry as she glanced at him.

“Like I said,” Toya answered and pulled her toward him, pinning her against the half of a wall that divided the kitchen from the small dining room. “I missed you,” he told her before kissing her on the lips and Kimiko wondered when he’d gotten so affectionate or, touchy.

“Toya,” Kimiko protested when he pulled away after it became apparent that she was staying tight lipped for the moment. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Maybe I’m thinking we need to push up our wedding date,” he told her as his hands began to caress her curves and Kimiko was too shocked to protest. “I know you wanted to graduate from college first but I don’t see why we need to wait.”
“But Toya,” Kimiko started to protest but he took advantage of her open mouth and kissed her soundly, invading her mouth. Kimiko tried to pull back but Toya had slipped to the back of her head, gripping her hair almost painfully as he angled her head as he liked it. His free hand continued to roam while one knee slipped between her legs. Toya finally pulled away from the kiss and Kimiko tried to shove him off.

“What are you doing?” she asked feeling angry, scared, and upset.

“I’m getting very anxious for our wedding night,” he told her as his knee moved suggestively and Kimiko’s eyes widened considerably wondering how Toya had gone from barely touching her all the way to this.

“What’s gotten into to you?” Kimiko asked still trying to push him off with no success.

“Let’s move in together,” Toya insisted again.

“Toya, I don’t want to, not now,” she told him silently adding ‘ideally never.’

“Your dad said you were having second thoughts,” Toya told her and Kimiko’s eyes widened again. “I thought I might assure you a bit that I’m all in this.”

“You and my father are awfully chummy,” Kimiko observed and Toya grinned at her.

“Well, you don’t tell me anything,” he said moving to kiss the side of her neck. “We need to change that.”

“What is going on with you?” Kimiko asked finally managing to shove him off.

“What do you mean?” Toya asked.

“You’ve never acted like this before,” Kimiko told him resisting the urge to rub at her lip or neck.

“Well don’t you think it’s about time I started?” Toya asked starting to sound angry. “Does it bother you?”

“It’s just very sudden,” Kimiko said hoping that wouldn’t offend him. “I mean, when this all started out,”

“What do you mean all of this?” Toya interrupted.

“The engagement,” Kimiko answered easily. “You and I both know its more about convenience than anything.”

“How could you say that?” Toya asked his eyes narrowing.

“Don’t lie Toya.”

“You know I care about you, a lot,” he added for good measure. “Maybe if you let me in at all than you’d know that.” Kimiko looked away not wanting to admit that was probably true but Toya had never shown her any sort of genuine affection before now, at least none that she’d seen or noticed. He was suddenly up against her again. “You know it’s hard for me to let out my feelings. Let me show you I care,” he whispered as his lips, hands, and knee resumed their earlier actions. Kimiko managed to pull her head back this time since both of his hands were focused on exploring her body this time.

“Toya stop it,” she order but he didn’t seem interested in listening and when she moved to shove him off he caught her hands and brought them behind her back, holding them with one hand. “Toya,” Kimiko said her fear rising a bit.

“Let me show you,” Toya repeated as his free hand slipped under her shirt and Kimiko closed her eyes against the invasion but they snapped open almost immediately at the sound of Simon’s bark and his jaws snapping shut mere inches from Toya’s thigh. If Toya hadn;t jumped at the sound of the warning bark he probably would have been bit.

“What the hell!” Toya yelled jumping back immediately. “He tried to bite me! That dog is dangerous!”

“No,” Kimiko said immediately dragging Simon, gently back. “He was just protecting me. That’s what dogs are supposed to do.”

“Why the hell was he going after me though?” Toya asked not moving from his spot pressed against the countertop.

“He must have thought you were attacking me,” Kimiko ventured a guess trying to sooth the rattled dog. “Its ok,” she whispered to the dog who was shaking from head to tail.

“I’ll be ok once you put that dog away, preferably back to the wherever you got it,” Toya told her and Kimiko didn’t bother to tell him that she’d been talking to the dog.

“Let me put him in my bedroom,” Kimiko told Toya though she really didn’t want to. She wanted Toya to leave but she also wanted Simon to calm down who was only getting worse and Kimiko guessed it was Toya’s presence. By the time she got Simon settled it seem Toya had collected himself as well.

“That dog is crazy,” he told her as soon as Kimiko walked back in the room.

“He’s just nervous around strangers,” Kimiko said making excuses, “I’m sure he’ll get used to you.”

“Maybe,” Toya said looking unconvinced. “But I still think it would be better to have a proper dog.”

“I don’t want to argue about this right now,” Kimiko said shaking her head and folding her arms across her chest.

“Me either,” Toya agreed. “Are you ok?”

“You just came on a little strong,” Kimiko told him looking at the floor.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized and moved near her again. “I’m just excited,” he told her stroking her arm lightly and Kimiko couldn’t help but compare the simple action to similar one Raimundo had done the day before and how different her reactions were. Rai’s touch had set her skin on fire and Toya’s made her shiver. “I really think you should give some thought to us living together,” Toya said in a tone that made Kimiko think she couldn’t argue about it, or worse it was already taken care of.

“Ok,” Kimiko conceded

“I should get going,” Toya went on when it became apparent that she wasn’t going to say anything else. “I need to get back to Stamford.”

“Ok,” Kimiko said dully.

“Bye then,” he told her and then kissed her on the cheek. Kimiko watched him move toward the door and stopped to look back at her. “Kimiko, I do love you, and I hope that you could return at least some of that feeling one day,” Toya told her shocking her thoroughly. It was the first time Toya had made such a confession to her and what was worst, she believed him. In some way, Toya did love her. Toya didn’t wait for a response and walked out of the door and Kimiko finally moved after a moment to lock it behind him. She then immediately moved back to her bedroom and opened the door to find Simon lounging comfortable across her bed.

“I’m so cooking you a steak for dinner.”

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The next few days were stressful for Kimiko as she did her best to avoid Keiko and Jermaine who seemed determined to talk to her. Her phone was also ringing off the hook between her father and Toya. Toya was becoming adamant about finding a better place for them to share in the city but thankfully hadn’t come to see her in person again. Her father told her that he wanted to have a talk with her but Kimiko kept putting that off, making increasingly lame excuses to avoid him. And then there was Raimundo who was the only one not trying to approach her but Kimiko could feel his eyes on her in class and caught him watching her sometimes in various parts of campus. There was always worry and concern in his eyes and Kimiko wonder how he could possibly know anything.

It was close to maddening.

The idea that he could still know her so well despite the fact that they hadn’t communicated in years. Kimiko knew it wasn’t that crazy because that had been friends for so long before they were in a relationship and he’d always been able to read her so well. It was just that she didn’t want him to be concerned. She wanted him to go away and forget about her. Her fate was sealed. The way Toya was pushing it seemed that the wedding might even occur by the end of summer instead of after she graduated. Kimiko wished so badly that Raimundo would show up one day class with a girl hanging off his arms or some other sign that he’d finally let go of her.

But the idea of it was so unbelievably lonely it was physically painful.

“I’m thinking about transferring,” Kimiko told her father one Friday night after she’d returned from what was becoming her weekly dinner with the Higuchi’s at their home in Stamford.

“After you fought so hard to so to NYU?” her father asked disbelievingly.

“Its not turning out the way I thought it would and I’m not as happy in New York as I thought I would be,” Kimiko explained. It wasn’t a complete lie but Kimiko thought that was all her father needed to know.

“Toya has told me that he wants to move in with you,” Toshiro told her.

“It’s been discussed,” Kimiko admitted.

“He also seems eager to move up the wedding date.”

“That I am not as keen on,” Kimiko told him. “If there was anyway that you would work it so that didn’t happen I’d appreciate it.”

“It is your wedding Kimiko,” Toshiro told her, “that is your decision isn’t it?” Kimiko swallowed hard and choose to make a bold move.

“I’ve never thought of it as my wedding,” Kimiko told him. “Whatever was convenient for you.”

“Kimiko,” Toshiro said sounding concerned, “I never knew you felt that way.” Kimiko nearly broke down in tears as he said that.

“I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed Dad,” Kimiko told him. “Just forget I said that. But honestly, the wedding date doesn’t matter to me. Whatever is better for you and the business.”

“Kimiko,” her father said sternly, “your feelings and happiness are more important then my business or anything else for that matter.” Now Kimiko was crying.

“Why didn’t you say all of this two years ago?” she asked tearfully into the phone.

“Kimiko why are you crying?” Toshiro asked.

“Its nothing,” Kimiko lied, “I’m just over tired is all. And anyway what’s done is done right? We can’t turn back time now can we?”
“Kimiko,” Toshiro said urgently.

“I have to go Dad,” Kimiko spoke over him. “I’ll call you later. Bye.”

“Kimiko wait,” her father protested by Kimiko was already hanging up. Dropping the phone on the couch she’d been sitting on Kimiko stood quickly and hurried to the bathroom, Simon following swiftly on her heels. Urgently Kimiko pulled open her mirrored cabinet door and pulled out various prescription bottles, checking their labels before deciding on one and dumping a random number of pills into her hand. She was about to swallow them all when Simon suddenly barked frightening her enough to jump and drop the pills on the floor.

“Simon!” Kimiko yelled. “Don’t scare me!” The dog cowered slightly but still moved timidly forward into the bathroom, a room he’d always adamantly avoided. Kimiko watched him move with a bit of wonder as he moved closer to her and sat at her feet whining pitifully. “Oh Simon,” Kimiko practically sobbed as she sank to her knees and wrapped her arms around the dog. She stayed that way for many long minutes before finally releasing him and telling him softly, “its ok, I’m ok, you don’t have to stay here.” As soon as she finished saying that the dog scrambled out of the room but still stayed watching her from the doorway. Kimiko gave a wet sounding laugh as she scooped up the pills she dropped and put all but one back in the bottle. She took the one she left out along with a sleep aid and almost immediately felt the effects move through her body.

“Let’s go to bed Simon,” Kimiko suggested still slightly shaken. The dog wagged his tail weakly at her suggestion, apparently as exhausted by the night’s activities as she was.

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Despite taking sleep medication Kimiko hadn’t slept well. Her mind was too full of different options and scenarios to ever fully come to rest. And after much tossing and turning she’d finally come to a conclusion. She believed what she told her father the night before; there was no going back now, no way to take back what had occurred over the past two years. She’d pushed her best friends and Raimundo away and moved onto, although unwillingly, a new life and one that she had to accept.

That’s why she standing in front of Raimundo’s apartment building trying to gain more courage. It was an overcast day with the bite of fall slowly starting to fill the air. Kimiko had woken up early and decided on what she needed to do but hadn’t managed to leave her apartment until later in the afternoon. She’d gotten Raimundo’s address after calling student information. Kimiko had asked to remain unlisted but luckily for her Raimundo’s information was open to the public. After one more deep breath for courage Kimiko rang the buzzer to Raimundo’s apartment and waited.

“Hello?” Raimundo’s voice came over the call box.

“It’s me Raimundo,” Kimiko said, “its Kimiko. Can I come up?” Raimundo didn’t immediately answer, instead after a pause there was more buzzing and Kimiko realized her unlocked the door for her. She hesitated momentarily before pulling the door open and walking inside.

Down the street Kimiko was watched by someone whose mouth hung open with shock. Finally she recovered and pulled out her phone and dialed a number.

“Hey Jermaine, its Keiko. I was wondering if I could stay over at your place tonight. I’ll explain when I get there. Thanks.”

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