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cptkitten — Alaska

Published: 2011-06-01 01:29:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 384; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 6
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Description This is my retaliation to the America Hetalia project. It's also a sloppy piece of crap, so it stays in the scrap pile where it belongs.

So. I've looked around a bit, and most every Hetalia representation of Alaska is racist, ignorant, or both. It's kind of disgusting and I like my home too much to not be egged on by this.


Alaska is native. He keeps his hair long because it pleases his mother and pisses off America. He drinks too much and too often. He's tough as nails, and though he doesn't expect the same from everyone, he'll pick on you for it. He was happy to live on his own until Russia found him and forced his family to hunt seals, otters, and whales until some types were almost extinct. America thinks he did Alaska a favor by buying the land, but in reality, America treats Alaska like a brown slave child. Natives were tricked out of everything they had, and then treated like trespassers in their own land. Even now, though Alaska supplies more oil than anywhere else in the country, he pays some of the highest prices. Alaska is under the impression that most white people are assholes until proven otherwise.

Alaska loves life. He believes that his land is the best and most beautiful. He has festivals all year long. Some of them don't really make sense anymore, but he doesn't care. In the summer he holds contests for growing vegetables. In the winter he holds contests for building really big things out of snow. He'd like to invite everyone he knows, but he doesn't want them to stick around too long after. After all, why do they call it tourist season if you can't shoot them?

Alaska is very blunt and factual about things. He believes in the four seasons- almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction. He gets along well enough with his neighbors. He picks on Canada, but understands that he has more in common with Canada than with America. Alaska and Hawaii are on excellent terms, and will continue to bond over a mutual distaste for the "lower 48."

Alaska is pretty big on hunting and fishing. It's fun. Just ask once, and he'll offer to take you every season. He likes sports, too. Anything that can get him outside during the day. Alaska keeps a lot of pets, but they are mostly dogs and bears.

He doesn't keep moose. Why not, you may ask?

Because moose are delicious.
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Comments: 24

wanderingCarousel [2012-03-21 02:15:31 +0000 UTC]

;o; Fffffff this guy is pretty awesome.
/feels like the Alaska I made isn't good now pfft orz

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cat-tom-boy [2012-02-08 22:12:40 +0000 UTC]

Yes
Finally a good researched Alaska that make sense and isn't pair with canon characters. I love you for this and I totally agree.
This is not crap this is wonderful and way better than that stupid ask account and those American/Russia mixes.

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cptkitten In reply to cat-tom-boy [2012-02-09 22:54:58 +0000 UTC]

Aww shucks, thanks!

I just couldn't take one more pasty white boy being dubbed "Alaska."

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cat-tom-boy In reply to cptkitten [2012-02-09 23:21:56 +0000 UTC]

I know right. Like that dumb Ask Alaska account. I mean god that thing is such a mary sue/gray-stu.

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Meankitty1 [2011-12-07 05:41:51 +0000 UTC]

Thumbs up...Im native too

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WitchyArtistGurl [2011-09-20 06:21:44 +0000 UTC]

Haha I'm from AK too, so when I see this... Win, just win. (ALMOST ALL OTHER AK's ARE FAILLLL)

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cptkitten In reply to WitchyArtistGurl [2011-09-20 06:41:35 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much! And seriously, I agree. Like woah.

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WitchyArtistGurl In reply to cptkitten [2011-09-21 02:34:32 +0000 UTC]

Yeah. I think I might make an AK oc as well, you have inspired me ^^

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cptkitten In reply to WitchyArtistGurl [2011-09-21 02:57:47 +0000 UTC]

Do it, and link it to me!

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WitchyArtistGurl In reply to cptkitten [2011-09-22 02:19:58 +0000 UTC]

Haha totally! ~although mine will probably fail epically compared to yours x3~

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DeadlySafetyScissors [2011-07-14 05:41:23 +0000 UTC]

You win everything +1.

jsyk.

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cptkitten In reply to DeadlySafetyScissors [2011-07-14 07:00:21 +0000 UTC]

ASdfalsdfjhkkk...

I heart you too. Over and over.

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DeadlySafetyScissors In reply to cptkitten [2011-07-15 02:54:56 +0000 UTC]

Because I am Alaskan.

and yes. yes. if i had a pet moose.

it would be gone and cooked.

c:

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cptkitten In reply to DeadlySafetyScissors [2011-07-15 11:04:17 +0000 UTC]

Oh hells yes. Moose burgers are just too damn good.

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Spamusubi [2011-06-01 22:53:48 +0000 UTC]

I love the explanation. Now someone needs to do this with Hawaii! As most aren't necessarily racist but they are ignorant. Seeing as Hawaii's culture, language, and activities were banned by the missionaries, whalers came as well, natives were wiped out, Hawaii became a sovereign nation and the white plantation owners overthrew the Queen illegally and the US never gave back Hawaii to it's people like the Queen had hoped. And they act like Hawaii loves America so much. And/Or that Hawaii has bad relations with Japan just because of PH(But with the huge amount of Japanese here, tourists and locals, it is otherwise).

Sorry for adding a bit of mine. But great explanation and I've learned something new. And sounds like Alaska and Hawaii, like a lot of areas that were colonized have a similar history. And damn, that sucks that you guys have to pay for high gas prices. I mean, same here but we live on an island.. so everything here is god damn pricey.

Nice drawing and once more, love this! (:

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cptkitten In reply to Spamusubi [2011-06-01 22:58:17 +0000 UTC]

I totally get you! I've lived in Alaska most of my life, but for a few years when I was a kid, my dad was stationed in Hawaii.

Hawaii not liking Japan is ridiculous. They friggin' love each other so much.

If I do get around to making a Hawaii, it'll have something to do with those goddamn Hawaiian truck drivers. They go way over the speed limit and they get like three inches away from each other to shout through the windows and somehow they never hit anything and I'm all like, "What sorcery is this?"

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Spamusubi In reply to cptkitten [2011-06-01 23:01:25 +0000 UTC]

That's pretty cool!

I have a few friends who live or are from Alaska. Haha. So far and so close. I've heard that there are a good amount of Pacific Islanders up there though. Or from the area's that my friends came from.

And yup! To much ethnic ties to Japan at this point.

And LOL, I've never seen that. That, or it does happen but I'm not paying attention. xD And by truck drivers you mean the normal truck drivers or those big truck things that are for the big corp. stores?

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cptkitten In reply to Spamusubi [2011-06-01 23:08:25 +0000 UTC]

I mean normal trucks, big trucks, commercial trucks, school buses, anything that really shouldn't go over fifty miles an hour but does anyway. D:

Lol. Hawaii has Japanese tv channels like California has Spanish subtitles.

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Spamusubi In reply to cptkitten [2011-06-02 11:03:48 +0000 UTC]

Ah. And lol (:

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Midori-omoi [2011-06-01 09:11:40 +0000 UTC]

DAMN STRAIGHT! D:<

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cptkitten In reply to Midori-omoi [2011-06-01 16:15:05 +0000 UTC]

I KNOW RIGHT

Like, my top two reasons for hating the other Alaskas is that they don't mention the natives and they all have pet moose. Moose are fucking wild cattle, who would keep one as a pet when there are polar bears up north?

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Midori-omoi In reply to cptkitten [2011-06-02 05:03:42 +0000 UTC]

True, BUT moose would be good war transportation. Other wise they probably ride elk/caribou/reindeer.

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cptkitten In reply to Midori-omoi [2011-06-02 06:55:59 +0000 UTC]

I would either ride an armoured polar bear or a caribou. With those antlers, they look mean. Ooo, what about Dal sheep? That'd be fun.

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Midori-omoi In reply to cptkitten [2011-06-02 07:00:07 +0000 UTC]

Only if the Dal Sheep was larger than normal. And Armoured Polar Bears ALL THE WAY!!! F-YEAH I the His Dark Materials Series! Also, Armoured Polar Bears would only be plausible in the northern part. I suppose different tribes could ride different things depending on location... I'd ride an ORCA!

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