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Crafty-Jack — Time Machine Casting #1: G.I. Joe
Published: 2012-06-09 22:44:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 2314; Favourites: 27; Downloads: 71
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Description
In the year 2024 renowned time traveller Dr. Emmit Brown was kidnapped from his home in Hill Valley. His kidnapper wanted to use the time machine for his own selfish purposes. Did he want to go back and make a fortune on the stock exchange or through sports gambling? No. Maybe he wanted to alter the course of human history by killing Hitler, or preventing the assassination of Lincoln. Nope. You see, friends, this kidnapper was an aging uber-nerd, and he wanted to make movies, but not just any movies.Still emotionally traumatized by the series of G.I. Joe movies from the early 21st century, this uber-nerd was going to set things right, and with Doc Brown's help he travelled back and collected the ideal cast for the movie he always wanted. This would be a series of movies so successful that he would become the most powerful Hollywood figure of the end of the 20th century.
He made several films, the poster for his third effort is seen here, and the cast includes:
Bruce Campbell from 1992 as Flint
Neal McDonough from 2001 as Duke
Billy Dee Williams from 1984 as Stalker
Lawrence Fishburne from 2000 as Destro
Rene Russo from 1988 as Lady Jaye
Kristen Bell from 2004 as The Baroness
Roger Rees from 1989 as Tomax and Xamot
Made in photoshop. All images were pulled from the internet and used without permission. Stalker has John Wayne's green beret and Clint Eastwood's (as Gunnery Sergeant Highway) BDU blouse. The bodies of Tomax, Xamot, and the Baroness are all from pictures of cosplayers at conventions. Duke's shirt is from Indiana Jones 4 (had to make Harrison's neck look a little younger to match).
Enjoy!
UPDATE 6/11/12: Fixed a few problem spots that were bothering me and added a border (as seen on most movie posters) and a folded poster texture.
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Comments: 31
Bruce Campbell as Flint... U made my day/week/month !
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HA! Yes...his casting as Flint was the original idea that got this whole project rolling (and to a lesser extent Duke). All the others were an afterthought.
Thanks, I'm glad you feel the same way I do.
By the way...if you're a G.I. Joe fan, have you checked this out?
[link]
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No problem! 
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I agree with all of your choices, (Fishburne in an inspired choice for m'man Destro.) except for the Baroness.
I'd go with Monica Bellucci, circa 2000. She's actually BRUNETTE, and being Italian, she actually speaks with a sexy foreign accent.
With her walking the Earth, I'm a little puzzled why you went with Bell, another natural blond, who hails from Michigan.
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Good call...I admit that The Baroness was an afterthought. I decided to make the plot of the fictional movie about Destro and it seemed wrong to not include her, but I definitely didn't put as much thought into it as I did the other characters. In fact, the only reason I picked her was the expression on her face when I was searching through google images.
Bellucci is actually a perfect choice. The good news is that this is G.I. Joe "3" ....so we can pretend that Bellucci was cast in the first two movies but then asked for too much for the third.
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Agreed. I thought this the instant I saw him for the first time in Band of Brothers.
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HAHA..Thanks! You could print it off if you wanted.
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Ha, nice. I like the casting for Lady Jay and Destro best. Do you think Bruce Campbell would be able to stand up on his own acting wise against the other main characters? Don't get me wrong, I love the man, but I wonder if he'd pull off Flint or if he should play someone else.
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It'd have to be a Tony Stark Flint (sarcastic/funny). It'd be dumb to deny his only acting strength and try to make him stand on his own surrounded by real actors. This whole idea came about when I looked up at my shelf and was looking at my Flint action figure standing next to my signed Bruce Campbell postcard. I realized that there wasn't an actor that could pull off the 1980s cartoon Flint except him. They could try to cast another actor, but it would end up being an approximation or redefinition of the character....like Michael Keaton as Batman.
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Ah, I can see that know. Makes sense. That's be sweet.
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Oh...now THAT would be a cast! I love Lawrence Fishburne as Destro. Not sure of your choice for Baroness, but everyone else seems pretty good, so I'll go with it.
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Yeah...casting the Baroness was hard. My first good idea was to use Allison Doody from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade ("doody".....hee hee). Once I realized I could use blonde actresses I did searches and actually made the decision to use Bell based on the hair and expression more than anything else.
...but you're right....beyond this poster (meaning: once she was actually portraying the role in the movie) it might not work....Allison Doody would have been a better choice.
...but thanks. I'm glad you like it.
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Interesting back story, and I like a good bit of the casting. Bruce Campbell is always a plus, Lawrence Fishburne would make a bad-assed Destro, and seeing Billy Dee Williams in anything but a Colt 45 commercial works for me. Interesting choices for the two hottest ladies in the GI Joe franchise. Overall, sounds like the best GI Joe movie that was never made (especially if you could work in Sgt. Slaughter as himself, 80's vintage).
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Thanks. Flint, Duke, and the Crimson Twins were already cast before I decided to start this project, but the interesting casting choices for the women you mention just happened naturally...I searched through pages of pictures of actresses on google until I found the two I ended up using.
I didn't have anyone in mind when I started, and it was actually kind of like an online cattle-call for the parts as I waded through headshots looking for one that had the right expression (as in Kristen Bell's pic) or attitude (as in Russo's pic....and her haircut didn't hurt either).
Destro and Stalker were done the same way.
Glad you like it!
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Looks nice, where's the almighty Cobra Commander? When you add him in, make sure he's wearing the iconic blue hood. MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!!
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I made it a movie that centers around Destro/Baroness as the bad guys. I did this because the whole point/fun of it was to put actors' faces on G.I. Joe characters....you can't do that with a hooded character.
...but just so you know: In my version I have CC cast as a mid-1990s John Malkovich.
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nice cast 
(Though I personally like Dennis Quaid's Hawk)
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Yeah, Quad's a good Hawk.
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yeah. I wish they got him back for the sequel.
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You could have cast Richard Crenna as General Hawk.
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No doubt. I've got a bunch of other characters in my head, but the poster was getting crowded with faces. I'm sure everyone else will want to mention THEIR casting too....it's a fun discussion.
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