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Description
RIP
March 2000 - September 27th, 2014
It's hard to believe that just two weeks ago that Jacque left this world for another. I've never had any other dog in my life and its difficult around the house knowing that when I come home he isn't going to be there to say hello to me anymore. I've never known anything else, I haven't a memory of a day in my life that I didn't have a dog. He was literally the best dog I ever knew (maybe I'm biased because he was mine, but this dog just seemed to know his purpose and he knew how to tell right from wrong even from a young age), and nothing can ever replace the gaping hole that he left in my heart.
Although I never really noticed how different he was until I looked back at some old videos and pictures. This last 6 months he'd totally lost who he was, he wasn't Jacque.
Looking back at it all now, I don't regret much, other then maybe spending a bit more time with him in his final week. I know we made the right decision to put him down but it doesn't make me feel any better about the situation at all. I still cry. However is it better to let them suffer in pain? Is it better to let them continue to live when their quality of life just isn't that great anymore? Is it better for them to get hit by a car because they wander away from home and are blind and deaf and cannot find their way back home? Is it best to watch their health decline further? So much so that they cannot barely stand because their legs are too weak? Or hear them sit in a corner and cry out in pain? No, it is totally wrong and it's unfair to them after EVERYTHING they've done for you. They're always there, and you can beat them or yell at them and they will still love you unconditionally. So what gives you the right to let them live like that? Yes, it's hard to let go, that I know very well, but is it better to watch them live on in so much pain?
I've heard a lot that many dogs who have been well taken care of that have reached the end of their life simply choose not to die because they don't think you can live on without them. That they'll suffer in pain and slowly forget who they are or wake up terrified at night because they don't know whats going on and they can't see or hear. Do they really hold onto life because they don't think you can live without them? Honestly, I think this is exactly what Jacque did, and it makes me cry just thinking about it.
I want another dog, not simply because I can't stand not having one around, it's more I want something to distract me. I've noticed that they help a lot in my grief. I see him in their faces, their caring and loyal eyes, right down to their wagging tails. My father doesn't want another one, and I'm not pushing for another one, next summer is what he says... but he told me several times before we put Jacque down that he wasn't ever going to have another one. I see something that I think my father fails to see. Jacque loved him right up until that last second, and he went to sleep with my fathers loving hand on him and he knew it was all going to be okay. I think he knew what was going on, and when they sedated him to relax his muscles, he fought to stay standing. He knew, and my dad comforted and Jacque accepted his fate. When my father goes to heaven, Jacque will be the first one at the door to greet him with that big smile of his as if to say 'what took you so long?'
I'm not going to lie, it sucks feeling like this. That there will always be this hole in my heart, and that I will always say I never want to do it again, because whether I like it or not, endings are inevitable. Unfortunately dogs don't live forever, and nor do we. So is it better to feel this way then to have never had him at all? Yes, he's worth every tear I cry, ever memory I have of him, everything.

We visited his grave at my cabin last weekend, and my grandmother had put a stone on it with these words engraved in it, and I thought it was so fitting.

Description
RIP
March 2000 - September 27th, 2014
It's hard to believe that just two weeks ago that Jacque left this world for another. I've never had any other dog in my life and its difficult around the house knowing that when I come home he isn't going to be there to say hello to me anymore. I've never known anything else, I haven't a memory of a day in my life that I didn't have a dog. He was literally the best dog I ever knew (maybe I'm biased because he was mine, but this dog just seemed to know his purpose and he knew how to tell right from wrong even from a young age), and nothing can ever replace the gaping hole that he left in my heart.
Although I never really noticed how different he was until I looked back at some old videos and pictures. This last 6 months he'd totally lost who he was, he wasn't Jacque.
Looking back at it all now, I don't regret much, other then maybe spending a bit more time with him in his final week. I know we made the right decision to put him down but it doesn't make me feel any better about the situation at all. I still cry. However is it better to let them suffer in pain? Is it better to let them continue to live when their quality of life just isn't that great anymore? Is it better for them to get hit by a car because they wander away from home and are blind and deaf and cannot find their way back home? Is it best to watch their health decline further? So much so that they cannot barely stand because their legs are too weak? Or hear them sit in a corner and cry out in pain? No, it is totally wrong and it's unfair to them after EVERYTHING they've done for you. They're always there, and you can beat them or yell at them and they will still love you unconditionally. So what gives you the right to let them live like that? Yes, it's hard to let go, that I know very well, but is it better to watch them live on in so much pain?
I've heard a lot that many dogs who have been well taken care of that have reached the end of their life simply choose not to die because they don't think you can live on without them. That they'll suffer in pain and slowly forget who they are or wake up terrified at night because they don't know whats going on and they can't see or hear. Do they really hold onto life because they don't think you can live without them? Honestly, I think this is exactly what Jacque did, and it makes me cry just thinking about it.
I want another dog, not simply because I can't stand not having one around, it's more I want something to distract me. I've noticed that they help a lot in my grief. I see him in their faces, their caring and loyal eyes, right down to their wagging tails. My father doesn't want another one, and I'm not pushing for another one, next summer is what he says... but he told me several times before we put Jacque down that he wasn't ever going to have another one. I see something that I think my father fails to see. Jacque loved him right up until that last second, and he went to sleep with my fathers loving hand on him and he knew it was all going to be okay. I think he knew what was going on, and when they sedated him to relax his muscles, he fought to stay standing. He knew, and my dad comforted and Jacque accepted his fate. When my father goes to heaven, Jacque will be the first one at the door to greet him with that big smile of his as if to say 'what took you so long?'
I'm not going to lie, it sucks feeling like this. That there will always be this hole in my heart, and that I will always say I never want to do it again, because whether I like it or not, endings are inevitable. Unfortunately dogs don't live forever, and nor do we. So is it better to feel this way then to have never had him at all? Yes, he's worth every tear I cry, ever memory I have of him, everything.

We visited his grave at my cabin last weekend, and my grandmother had put a stone on it with these words engraved in it, and I thought it was so fitting.