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Creativity-Squared — White
Published: 2012-10-07 01:21:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 381; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 2
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Description
WhiteBlank apartment walls, not allowed to be painted over
The flash of teeth as a smile is directed your way
Clouds wandering across the sky
The buzzing of an amp before the music plays
Silence of a winter day
Swishing of a wedding dress
Snow, cold and pure on the tongue
Instant mashed potatoes, flakes at the bottom of the pot
Smooth vanilla ice cream handed over the counter
The warm reassurance of a hug after a long trip
Lying on a bed with clean sheets
Exhilaration after receiving good news
A empty shade that needs life, yet symbolizes life at the same time; an oxymoron of beauty.
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Comments: 7
I liked this piece a lot. I didn't understand the full concept, but, it was nicely written. I liked a lot of the words you chose to use.
As for my critique, at a few parts the flow was a little off (but mostly it flew really well!) the ending for instance I feel should be broken down into smaller lines. That's just how I write though. c:
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I don't usually write poetry... 
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You're welcome.c:
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I like your details a lot, but they feel very segregated to me - it leaves the poem feeling rather broken. The images all sort of stand on their own; good images, mind, but it's kinda odd to go from snow to potatoes to ice cream in three lines
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You receive a special badge for metaphorical goodness and wonderful imagery.
Here.
Take it.
You deserve it.
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...Thank you, I'm honored!
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