HOME | DD

Description
“Friends On the Other Side”

Don’t you DARE to *dis*- respect me, young boys;
Don’t you derogate *OR* de-RIDE-
You’re in MY world, now- *not* *YOUR* world,
And I’ve got FRIENDS on the *other side*!
I’ve got friends on the OTHER side…

“If you notice anything UNUSUAL, boys, there’re just echoes; little parlor tricks, don’t worry!”
Sit down at my table- put your mind at ease:
It will enable me to do ANYTHING I *please*!
I can READ your *future*- I can change it *around some*, too;
I’ll LOOK *deep* into your HEART and *soul*-
(And you DO still have a soul, Casper-!)
Make your WILDEST dreams *come TRUE*!
I got HOODOO, I got *voodoo*, I got things I haven’t even *TRIED*-!
And I got FRIENDS on the *other side*-
I got *friends on the OTHER side*…!

The CARDS- the *cards*- the *CARDS* will TELL:
The PAST, the *present*, and the *FUTURE* as well!
The CARDS- the *cards*; just take *THREE*-
Take a little trip into your future with me…!

Now- YOU, young man, are a Toon of Disney;
HUH-! Got no knowledge of your true… he-he! family tree-
(And- OOH! Looks like you’ve got yourself a *TRUE Love*
With this young phantom here born out of a strong friendship…!)
Your love-life’s HIGH- but, *what’s THIS*… ? *Uh-oh*-!:
You’ve got yourself a certain ‘classic English Rose’ keepin’ on *keepin’ on* ya
Even though TIME and *again* you’ve said, ‘*NO*!’…

“Claudia STILL trailin’ after you, huh Louis?”
“…YES. And I am SICK and *tired* of it; I’ve TRIED *time* and *AGAIN* to *tell her* to BACK *OFF* and *leave me ALONE*… no luck.”
Hmm… how would ya feel ‘bout getting yourself a makeover?
I’m thinkin’ maybe… just a little shapin’ here and there:
Add a little gangle here, a little more rounding THERE,
Messin’ your hair up a little bit and maybe lengthen it,
Changin’ the color from black to dark reddish-brown AKA auburn, give you some freckles
(They AIN’T *just* attractive on a Weasley or Pippi Longstocking, ya know!),
Lower your voice a lil' bit and tampin’ down the descant,
DEFINTELY change your *clothes*, and change the color of your eyes
From BLUE to… *green*-!

It’s the GREEN- it’s the *green*;
It’s the *GREEN* you need-!
And when I LOOK into *your* future,
It’s the GREEN that I see…!

On YOU, Friendly Ghost, it’s VERY *clear* to me-
*You’ve* been PUSHED AROUND *ALL* your *AFTER-life*:
You’ve been PUSHED around by your uncles, and your ‘peers’,
And your *THOUGHT-to-be* girlfriend;
Only in your *CURRENT relationship*, have you *NOT been* pushed around
In ANY way *whatsoever*- *NO* strife!
And in yours’ and your ‘amore’s’ future, the you *I* see
Is -save for a little more *white* and ‘letting go’ of your ice-and-snow powers-
EXACTLY the kind of boy that you *used to be*…!

So… whaddya SAY, boys-? Pinocchio, YOU want to *get AWAY* from that Alice
So that she can NEVER *ever* touch you *AGAIN* or HARRASS you awake *or* a-*SLEEP*;
And Casper- YOU want to be *fully* alive again in *SOME* way and have a good life
With your beloved boyfriend/best friend, AWAY from your *evil* uncles who’ve used and
*AB-used* you; well- *here I am*, offerin’ that with *NO* charge!
Shake my hand- come on, boys;
Won’t you shake a poor sinner’s hand…?

…*YES*-!
Are you READY? Are ya *ready*?
Are ya- *READY*?
(~“*YES*-!”~/+ “*YES*-!”+)
Transformation central; TRANSFORMATION *Central*-
RE-formation Central; *Re*-formation Central-
*TRANSMOGRIFICATION* Central!
Can ya *FEEL it*?
(~“*Yes*-,”~/+“*Yes*-,”+)
You’re CHANGIN’-
You’re *changin’*-
You’re *CHANGIN’*, *all RIGHT*!
I hope you’re satisfied;
And if you ain’t-
‘Satisfaction GUARANTEED or your money *back*’!

“…DANG! It’s *her*; gonna have to give you a little trip *out* of here, JACK FROST- *Hiccup Haddock*…! Ha-ha; she’s comin’ in- but *too LATE*…! (I think I’ll hang these now-unconscious boys over the portal, and then drop them once I’ve half-way finished gloating-!)”
“WHERE IS HE, Facilier?! …*NO*!! *What* did you *DO* to him?! He’s- he’s- He’s GANGLY, *freckled*, and his hair is an *UGLY* *dark REDDISH-BROWN* color and *MESSY*; and he’s *dressed in RAGS*…! And- and- And CASPER the Friendly Ghost-! He’s a GHOST- *not* a *HUMAN BEING*! And even WHEN/*if* he is, he has *PINKISH-pale* skin and smooth blond hair- NOT a *porcelain* shade and messy hair as *WHITE* as he used to be as *a GHOST*! And *since WHEN* does HE carry a *staff*-?!”
“…Tell me somethin’ I *DON’T know*, little girl; *BOR-ING*…! *No WONDER* poor *Hiccup* looked so haggard, with you raggin’ on him like that *ALL THE TIME*- I woulda been the *SAME way*-!”
“HICCUP?! *Hiccup*?! My little beau’s name is NOT *HICCUP*; it’s ‘*PINOCCHIO*’!!”
“(Oh, this is just TOO much *fun*- and *YOU*and your boyfriend, Jack Frost, need PLENTY of it!)”
“SHUT *up*!! CASPER’s name is *not* ‘Jack Frost’, either!”
“Oh, little sister, YOU are *one* *GROUCHY* girl. I don’t cotton to commands. Didn’t your mama TEACH you *any* *MANNERS*?”
“#@*$%!!”
“Keep talkin’ like THAT, and your elder sister’s gonna have to *wash OUT your MOUTH* while she SPANKS ya ‘till your bottom’s as *red* as Mowgli the Man-Cub’s loincloth at the same time. …And you’re bein’ REALLY *IM-polite* besides the obvious: you’re delayin’ JACK’s and *Hiccup*’s flight. ‘Adios’, boys!”
“-*NO*…!!!”
DON’T blame *me*, Alice-
You can blame my FRIENDS
On the *other*- *SIDE*…!
*Ha-ha-ha-ha-HA*…!
THEY got what they wanted-
But *you* lost what ya *THOUGHT* you had!
*AH…!*

*…Hush*-!

Description
“Friends On the Other Side”

Don’t you DARE to *dis*- respect me, young boys;
Don’t you derogate *OR* de-RIDE-
You’re in MY world, now- *not* *YOUR* world,
And I’ve got FRIENDS on the *other side*!
I’ve got friends on the OTHER side…

“If you notice anything UNUSUAL, boys, there’re just echoes; little parlor tricks, don’t worry!”
Sit down at my table- put your mind at ease:
It will enable me to do ANYTHING I *please*!
I can READ your *future*- I can change it *around some*, too;
I’ll LOOK *deep* into your HEART and *soul*-
(And you DO still have a soul, Casper-!)
Make your WILDEST dreams *come TRUE*!
I got HOODOO, I got *voodoo*, I got things I haven’t even *TRIED*-!
And I got FRIENDS on the *other side*-
I got *friends on the OTHER side*…!

The CARDS- the *cards*- the *CARDS* will TELL:
The PAST, the *present*, and the *FUTURE* as well!
The CARDS- the *cards*; just take *THREE*-
Take a little trip into your future with me…!

Now- YOU, young man, are a Toon of Disney;
HUH-! Got no knowledge of your true… he-he! family tree-
(And- OOH! Looks like you’ve got yourself a *TRUE Love*
With this young phantom here born out of a strong friendship…!)
Your love-life’s HIGH- but, *what’s THIS*… ? *Uh-oh*-!:
You’ve got yourself a certain ‘classic English Rose’ keepin’ on *keepin’ on* ya
Even though TIME and *again* you’ve said, ‘*NO*!’…

“Claudia STILL trailin’ after you, huh Louis?”
“…YES. And I am SICK and *tired* of it; I’ve TRIED *time* and *AGAIN* to *tell her* to BACK *OFF* and *leave me ALONE*… no luck.”
Hmm… how would ya feel ‘bout getting yourself a makeover?
I’m thinkin’ maybe… just a little shapin’ here and there:
Add a little gangle here, a little more rounding THERE,
Messin’ your hair up a little bit and maybe lengthen it,
Changin’ the color from black to dark reddish-brown AKA auburn, give you some freckles
(They AIN’T *just* attractive on a Weasley or Pippi Longstocking, ya know!),
Lower your voice a lil' bit and tampin’ down the descant,
DEFINTELY change your *clothes*, and change the color of your eyes
From BLUE to… *green*-!

It’s the GREEN- it’s the *green*;
It’s the *GREEN* you need-!
And when I LOOK into *your* future,
It’s the GREEN that I see…!

On YOU, Friendly Ghost, it’s VERY *clear* to me-
*You’ve* been PUSHED AROUND *ALL* your *AFTER-life*:
You’ve been PUSHED around by your uncles, and your ‘peers’,
And your *THOUGHT-to-be* girlfriend;
Only in your *CURRENT relationship*, have you *NOT been* pushed around
In ANY way *whatsoever*- *NO* strife!
And in yours’ and your ‘amore’s’ future, the you *I* see
Is -save for a little more *white* and ‘letting go’ of your ice-and-snow powers-
EXACTLY the kind of boy that you *used to be*…!

So… whaddya SAY, boys-? Pinocchio, YOU want to *get AWAY* from that Alice
So that she can NEVER *ever* touch you *AGAIN* or HARRASS you awake *or* a-*SLEEP*;
And Casper- YOU want to be *fully* alive again in *SOME* way and have a good life
With your beloved boyfriend/best friend, AWAY from your *evil* uncles who’ve used and
*AB-used* you; well- *here I am*, offerin’ that with *NO* charge!
Shake my hand- come on, boys;
Won’t you shake a poor sinner’s hand…?

…*YES*-!
Are you READY? Are ya *ready*?
Are ya- *READY*?
(~“*YES*-!”~/+ “*YES*-!”+)
Transformation central; TRANSFORMATION *Central*-
RE-formation Central; *Re*-formation Central-
*TRANSMOGRIFICATION* Central!
Can ya *FEEL it*?
(~“*Yes*-,”~/+“*Yes*-,”+)
You’re CHANGIN’-
You’re *changin’*-
You’re *CHANGIN’*, *all RIGHT*!
I hope you’re satisfied;
And if you ain’t-
‘Satisfaction GUARANTEED or your money *back*’!

“…DANG! It’s *her*; gonna have to give you a little trip *out* of here, JACK FROST- *Hiccup Haddock*…! Ha-ha; she’s comin’ in- but *too LATE*…! (I think I’ll hang these now-unconscious boys over the portal, and then drop them once I’ve half-way finished gloating-!)”
“WHERE IS HE, Facilier?! …*NO*!! *What* did you *DO* to him?! He’s- he’s- He’s GANGLY, *freckled*, and his hair is an *UGLY* *dark REDDISH-BROWN* color and *MESSY*; and he’s *dressed in RAGS*…! And- and- And CASPER the Friendly Ghost-! He’s a GHOST- *not* a *HUMAN BEING*! And even WHEN/*if* he is, he has *PINKISH-pale* skin and smooth blond hair- NOT a *porcelain* shade and messy hair as *WHITE* as he used to be as *a GHOST*! And *since WHEN* does HE carry a *staff*-?!”
“…Tell me somethin’ I *DON’T know*, little girl; *BOR-ING*…! *No WONDER* poor *Hiccup* looked so haggard, with you raggin’ on him like that *ALL THE TIME*- I woulda been the *SAME way*-!”
“HICCUP?! *Hiccup*?! My little beau’s name is NOT *HICCUP*; it’s ‘*PINOCCHIO*’!!”
“(Oh, this is just TOO much *fun*- and *YOU*and your boyfriend, Jack Frost, need PLENTY of it!)”
“SHUT *up*!! CASPER’s name is *not* ‘Jack Frost’, either!”
“Oh, little sister, YOU are *one* *GROUCHY* girl. I don’t cotton to commands. Didn’t your mama TEACH you *any* *MANNERS*?”
“#@*$%!!”
“Keep talkin’ like THAT, and your elder sister’s gonna have to *wash OUT your MOUTH* while she SPANKS ya ‘till your bottom’s as *red* as Mowgli the Man-Cub’s loincloth at the same time. …And you’re bein’ REALLY *IM-polite* besides the obvious: you’re delayin’ JACK’s and *Hiccup*’s flight. ‘Adios’, boys!”
“-*NO*…!!!”
DON’T blame *me*, Alice-
You can blame my FRIENDS
On the *other*- *SIDE*…!
*Ha-ha-ha-ha-HA*…!
THEY got what they wanted-
But *you* lost what ya *THOUGHT* you had!
*AH…!*

*…Hush*-!