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CryptRose — pulse by-nc-nd
Published: 2009-11-05 22:59:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 175; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
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Description no moments to last forever because

i will always be terrified if you pull me closer

to you with cold hands and shaking body.

--

i think the words you should hear

yet i speak nothing but silence.

i see the beauty in you, but dare i voice it,

unconscious rejection meets my every word.

--

you may ask me to stay but i'll always wonder

do you mean it at all?

i'm scared to death of staying close – falling deeper.

--

I'll whisper never just to hear you say forever

to the air next to my neck. i really wish that you would feel it.

and your head on my shoulder is pressing the button

that tells me to say the words i never can.

--

my skin is warm because you make me alive

spears of ice are puncturing at my insides

as a frozen heart is dripping.

--

it's all i can do to keep you from noticing

how i sometimes break in beautiful ways

to the sound of your words.

--

you are beautiful as you are real,

and your eyes remind me the ice i made myself out of

is awfully transparent.

i have a pulse and i cry.

--

of course you're wonderful.

in no other way, could you make me

just as miserable.
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Comments: 6

Garzla [2009-11-08 19:55:49 +0000 UTC]

I really like this one as well.
Nice imagery and a good word choice

The one thing I'd change though would be the line "but i speak nothing but silence.". The two "but"s sound a little strange together. perhaps adding another word like "Yet I speak nothing but silence"?

Great work overall, I quite like your writing ^^

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CryptRose In reply to Garzla [2009-11-08 22:19:30 +0000 UTC]

thank you. i've taken your advice, you were right.
i dont like this much... i think i need to improve it, but idk how.

thank you darling.

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Garzla In reply to CryptRose [2009-11-08 22:27:43 +0000 UTC]

Ooh, I like it really. You do have some pretty original ideas in your writing.

And you're welcome

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ljscribbles [2009-11-06 00:27:00 +0000 UTC]

Wow. I like the way you write.

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CryptRose In reply to ljscribbles [2009-11-08 01:34:00 +0000 UTC]

thank you... i dont really like it anymore.. seems very awkward.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ljscribbles In reply to CryptRose [2009-11-08 05:52:30 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome .
Aww, I'm sorry you don't like it though.

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