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CutieWinterSnow — Experiment ??? (colored and notes added)
#blackflame #bodyhorror #knight #sword
Published: 2016-02-13 04:39:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 429; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 0
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Description
So here's the Fusion Experiment guys and I added some details.So how did they fuse like- this well they're fusion is/are like the Amalgamates from Undertale. However it's somewhat more of a virus/curse that is able to mutate a single person's soul and body into attaching with another living organism. There by the virus/curse will become much stronger by the minute until there are number of six people are fused together.
Dr. Logic: I can't believe the experiment failed I wanted to the others here get back home. But NO, I had to screw things up.
The Creator: Where's Champion (Jasper)?
Dr. Logic: Training or what ever he does.
The Creator: Mmm...Okay!
Dr. Logic: (No one else will get infected right?)
Who is fused with Jasper-
Jonathan Toldentops
Dum voctur
Sergeant Yolk EdwinAlexander
Diopside xThePandaLovex
Twin foxythepirate290
Jasper and Art by me
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Comments: 27
Thanks well
For the colors I used copic makers and color pencils!
The Black lining I used Pigma and white gel pens! :3
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Dang, dude X_X *eyes markers wistfully*
Awesome job, especially since there are no do-overs with your tools!
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Thanks NOW THEY/He will cut someone up! XD
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Dr. Logic: I sure hope this virus isn't spreading to the others!
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Breaking jh :gntv46&*! ( DOC. LOGIC ! )
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Dr. Logic: WAAAAAAAA!!!!! Oh Jh I didn't realize you for a second. You didn't hear me did you?
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Breaking jh: *crying Yellow liquid * DHG56^^*%;!!! ( HELP ME DOCTOR!!)
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Dr. Logic: D-don't worry my friend you'll be back to normal. B-be-besides remember when I was corrupted right!
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Breaking jh:b h....gjgb57&*/... (doc...I'm feeling . ...) *falls on the floor *
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Dr. Logic: No No NO! (Picks him up) NO!!!!!
(Ending 1 - Virus)
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🌟
Maybe it not over :^
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NOT OVER IS RIGHT!
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OMG~!
The color is overloading to my brain $6t23qo4tl grhjbfndcv
I-I-I-I- My aspiring meter is overloading
*TOO COOL*
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Also can you guess what the runes say (eyebrow raise)
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*Didn't even realize there were runes, even when noticing the interesting coloring on the arms XD (Edit: and the sword, this is the capacity of my "attention to detail" skills when it's past 3AM)
I will begin decoding tomorrow, because of now, it's like SUPER LATE ... But I'll be back
THANKS :3 and how's the quotes and how they fused?
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They're good, but you deserve an unbiased critique, so you can improve. (critiquing helps people realize what they may be doing "wrong" when compared to the "common/proper" way of doing things)
You seem to omit some words or punctuation sometimes. (I still sometimes do this with some run-on sentences & over explanations.)
Suggestions as to how to correct some grammatical errors (etc.) will be in bold. (parenthesis will mean there should be a word there, and/or also serving as advice inserts)
Dr. Logic: I can't believe the experiment failed. I wanted to (verb) the others here (?) get back home. But NO, I had to screw things up.
The Creator: Where's (the) Champion (Jasper)? (however adding "the" makes "Champion" a title, like with "the Creator", without "the" it would be an alternative name, so depending on how you intended to use it will alter how you should correct it)
Dr. Logic: Training or what ever he does. ("proper" grammar would say put "He's training...", but people don't always speak "proper" English in reality, so "slang" grammar can be used to better diversify characters)
The Creator: Mmm...Okay!
Dr. Logic: (No one else will get infected right?)
Don't take this as me saying you're "bad" at quotes. My intentions are to help you get better at writing them, which even I'm still trying to do~
I hope my advice has value to you, and I hope it helps you~
And the source of them fusing being from a virus/curse is a very interesting concept. That'd turn real messy, real fast~!
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Thanks and yeah I need to work on that (I get hit in the head a lot at school.)
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