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dailennaIf I Were A Line
Published: 2008-02-09 14:32:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 24696; Favourites: 789; Downloads: 172
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Description If I were a line
I think I’d be curled,
billowed and swirled,
and slowly unfurled.
I’d sweep over a page,
if I were a line,
with the wind in my hair,
and my heart laid bare.
That’s what I’d be,
if I were a line.

If I were a spot
I’d be round and fat
(now how about that?)
like an old, well-fed cat.
I’d have drizzled and dropped,
if I were a spot,
pittering and pattering
with a slight hint of smattering.
That’s what I’d be,
if I were a spot.

If I were a colour
I’d be a rich red,
like a painted deathbed
or a sword to the head.
I’d lunge for macabre,
if I were a colour,
made oh-so dramatic,
my thoughts all sporadic.
That’s what I’d be,
if I were a colour.

But I am a human,
so pale and flawed,
and easily bored,
(wishing I was adored).
I twist and bend
(these hinges, you see?);
my shape is no other
than the one I can be;
My colour, it changes
almost constantly,
because I am a human:
a human – that’s me.



Although,
If I tried to depict myself
in a shape - or a line -
that would be just fine
(If I could find such a line).
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Comments: 366

dailenna In reply to ??? [2011-11-28 23:15:18 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, but I'm sorry I can't join at the moment Best of luck!

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ntau [2011-07-30 11:12:31 +0000 UTC]

This is very interesting.. I think alot of people would get different meanings from this well done, I like it!

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dailenna In reply to ntau [2011-07-31 11:43:40 +0000 UTC]

Thanks ^_^

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PurplePsycho333 [2011-07-14 23:57:23 +0000 UTC]

This poem makes me think of that book "If you give a mouse a cookie...". I love how you were all 'happy, happy, thoughts' and then in the final stanza you really sucker punched my poor brain. But that's how I try to write too, so I'm super jealous of you for this one! Marvelous!

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dailenna In reply to PurplePsycho333 [2011-07-16 00:02:48 +0000 UTC]

Ooh, I haven't read that book before. My parents were keen on Spot and Noddy, so I got all those little books as a kid. I googled it though, and it looks cute XD

I'm glad you liked the poem ^_^ Everyone always seems to be wishing that they can be something they aren't, not realising how special the thing they are really is.

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PurplePsycho333 In reply to dailenna [2011-07-30 20:28:30 +0000 UTC]

Well, I'm glad you captured that idea in an original format. I've seen all those types of messages in song lyrics and pictures, but the way you referenced it was incredibly creative! Thanks for the posting it on the site so I could read it!

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Nancyscabinet [2011-06-16 00:15:23 +0000 UTC]

Amazing!

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Bambi347 [2011-06-04 15:22:23 +0000 UTC]

i love the imagery in the 'colour' stanza... very powerful

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dailenna In reply to Bambi347 [2011-06-06 10:39:17 +0000 UTC]

Thank you

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Trick55 [2011-05-03 10:00:26 +0000 UTC]

Wow, I love the way you write xD, that was pretty awesome.

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AzulNightengale [2011-04-11 17:49:24 +0000 UTC]

This is a wonderful poem! I am currently a music student studying composition at my university, and I was wondering if I could set the first stanza of this to music. Of course, giving credit to you for the text and everything. Let me know please!
Great work! <3

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dailenna In reply to AzulNightengale [2011-04-13 11:15:11 +0000 UTC]

Aww, thanks! So long as you give me credits for the lyrics, I'd be honoured If you're able to upload it to the internet at any stage I'd love to get a link!

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AzulNightengale In reply to dailenna [2011-04-13 13:15:59 +0000 UTC]

Sweet! Thank you so much and I'll definately upload the sheet music as either a pdf or something here on DA. Or try to, I'm not sure DA will let me. But I'll definately let you know!

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dailenna In reply to AzulNightengale [2011-04-14 12:51:00 +0000 UTC]

Yay!

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LittleMsPsycho [2011-03-03 02:31:34 +0000 UTC]

the first time i read it I thought of dr.Seuss o.o


I enjoy it <3

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dailenna In reply to LittleMsPsycho [2011-03-06 07:01:40 +0000 UTC]

Haha, Dr. Seuss is too much fun. Glad you liked it

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IMouseI [2011-03-01 01:42:42 +0000 UTC]

Whimsical and light. I like it.

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dailenna In reply to IMouseI [2011-03-06 07:01:05 +0000 UTC]

Thanks ^_^

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kouryo [2011-02-14 14:39:05 +0000 UTC]

nice!

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Pyro13175 [2011-02-04 23:01:08 +0000 UTC]

i generally hate rhyming poems, but this is just simply amazing.

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dailenna In reply to Pyro13175 [2011-02-05 10:45:34 +0000 UTC]

Wow, thanks! Glad I could show you not all rhyming poetry is contrived! There are some wonderful rhyming poets out there; the problem is sifting through all the ones who just pick the predictable rhymes and boring concepts, sometimes.

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sisumagoo [2011-01-15 04:29:09 +0000 UTC]

marvelous! I wish I could write like that!

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TheEndWhereIBegin [2011-01-11 19:00:12 +0000 UTC]

Love Love Love Love Love Love Love xinfinity this!
Amazing! You are a.. genius haha!

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dailenna In reply to TheEndWhereIBegin [2011-01-13 04:09:59 +0000 UTC]

Hehe, thanks! Glad you liked

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wish-sticks [2010-12-16 23:30:30 +0000 UTC]

You have been featured here! [link]

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AmenMaponus [2010-11-27 05:20:02 +0000 UTC]

I really liked this poem, and for your first attempt at rhyming, you rocked.

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dailenna In reply to AmenMaponus [2010-11-29 23:51:15 +0000 UTC]

Not my first attempt at rhyming, "My first attempt at rhyming in ages". But thank you ^_^

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swapman [2010-09-12 11:27:28 +0000 UTC]

so creative, i like the fluid metaphors, great job.

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Keldoni [2010-09-01 20:28:29 +0000 UTC]

Very well tied in at the end

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InsomniaticPainter [2010-08-26 14:46:50 +0000 UTC]

very poetic good for you

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DemonHex [2010-08-23 02:53:45 +0000 UTC]

wow..i don't think I've ever loved a poem so much! great work

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Bulliedozer2 [2010-07-28 12:59:05 +0000 UTC]

Inspiring, I love this

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dailenna In reply to Bulliedozer2 [2010-07-30 12:41:16 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

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savanna-lawson [2010-07-15 23:41:52 +0000 UTC]

Wow I love it.

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OrchDorksRule [2010-07-02 01:06:40 +0000 UTC]

The idea behind this is inspiring

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Voidzy [2010-06-04 02:44:56 +0000 UTC]

Brilliant composition.

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meljoy68 [2010-06-01 05:34:06 +0000 UTC]

I love the words!! I just came from viewing your visual version of this and wanted to come read the actual poem without having to bend my head this way and that.

And congratulations on the DD! It's well-deserved.

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dailenna In reply to meljoy68 [2010-06-02 10:38:47 +0000 UTC]

The attention this poem got was very overwhelming, that's for sure XD *HoiHoiSan 's visual adaptation manages to make some of the motions that I was thinking of at the time. I've tried over and over to draw some of the images that I had in my mind, but could never get them right.

Thank you

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meljoy68 In reply to dailenna [2010-06-03 02:20:23 +0000 UTC]

Both the poem itself and the visual adaptation are wonderful works. You're very welcome.

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Lowbss [2010-05-20 08:40:48 +0000 UTC]

amazing!

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Drwhitey [2010-04-10 01:44:15 +0000 UTC]

Whimsical truley great

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Orpheus-Lyre [2010-03-29 08:20:33 +0000 UTC]

That is brilliant! So whimsical but deep at the same time, rock on!

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CeePetite [2010-03-18 23:35:26 +0000 UTC]

This is so meaningful!
You're incredible!

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dailenna In reply to CeePetite [2010-03-22 10:32:04 +0000 UTC]

Thanks Also thanks for the +watch

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roku-mastrashi-021 [2010-02-26 13:46:56 +0000 UTC]

i luv it

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uncopyrightedvinegar [2010-01-04 17:18:50 +0000 UTC]

This is brilliant.
Niz xxx

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dailenna In reply to uncopyrightedvinegar [2010-01-05 01:11:28 +0000 UTC]

Thanks ^_^

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MiyuPathetique [2009-12-08 01:46:19 +0000 UTC]

Well, if it were up to me, you'd never go to sleep, and just write poetry... On a serious note, what an excellent poem. You have fabulous technique and the poem flows so well, it's just so smooth. It's such a pleasure to read poetry like this!

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dailenna In reply to MiyuPathetique [2009-12-10 07:15:24 +0000 UTC]

Ahaha, thanks I just write about the concepts that intrigue me. My mind is a loopy line at times, so every now and then I get something like this. I'm glad you like it!

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thegreatestoffools [2009-12-02 02:10:41 +0000 UTC]

Love it

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