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daimondstrike — Sojourn 1
by-nc-sa
Published: 2010-06-12 21:51:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 4157; Favourites: 13; Downloads: 34
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WARNING! CONTAINS VORE, GIANTESS, AND NEKOS! DON'T LIKE DON'T LOOK, AND WE DON'T GOTTA PROBLEM!I was distracted from my memories by the sound of a tiny yawn. Next to the pillow was my favorite catgirl. She had delicate azure hair, down to her hips. A small pair of sky blue cat ears stood out against the darker hair.
"Morning, my love…" she mumbled, yawning widely as she stood up, walking over to the back of my hips to give me a kiss. I felt heat on my face as I turned, crouching down low. She giggled, nuzzling back against my lips as I pressed them against her tummy in a kiss. "I love you, my dear…"
"I'm still kinda sleepy… can I sleep in your cleavage?" she asked me, blushing as she rubbed her eyes.
"Sure. Go right on ahead," I said to her, tugging my top down to expose my large breasts. She smiled, walking up to my top. I shivered, feeling her give each mound a kiss before she burrowed in between them, curling up pleasantly.
I smiled widely, giggling as I nuzzled her as best as I could. Sweet, tender moments with the person I loved… moments like these are what make life so much better. Thinking of it, moments like these reminded me of when we first met…
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Thinking back on it, I had been around sixteen years old at the time. I had just become an official paladin about a year ago, thanks to a kind goddess that I'd found in a ruin that I can't really name. That was after I met Niiko too, actually, but I'm getting off track.
I had been walking along this dirt path alone for a long time now. I had ran out of my rations, and there were no towns in sight. I was several days away from the nearest town when the hunger finally became too much to bear.
"I'm hungry…" I had mumbled to myself as I patted my loudly complaining tummy. "There's no tinies around to eat, either… Aaah!! Wait, wait, I'm a pally now! I shouldn't be thinking of that!"
My stomach grumbled loudly a gain, making me hold my tummy. "Oh, who cares?" I sighed, shaking my head when I heard muffled voices.
"What are we gonna do when we find her?" one voice asked, sounding like a male.
"We're being paid big bucks to catch that false paladin. Stop complaining," another male said, in a slightly higher pitch then the first.
"Screw catching that bitch. Anything big enough to swallow me in one go is dead…" the other male said. I got on all fours, crawling towards the voices when I heard a loud snap. "Hey, what was that? I'm going to go check it out!" The voice said. I looked down, sniffing at what I had just stepped on. I looked back up away from the branch when I heard the man's voice calling out. "Who are you? Where are you? Show yourself!"
I poked my head out, sniffing hungrily as I licked my lips. I could smell the sweet scent of a tiny!! "I'm over here!"
I purred, licking my lips as I saw a neko man walk up to me. "Hey, who are you??" He shouted at me with a growl.
"Who I am isn't important! What is important is that you're lunch!" I said, smiling as I picked him up. He sputtered, lost for words before he shrieked.
"OH, GODS! YOU'RE-" he started to shout, almost screaming my name before I tossed him in my mouth, purring as I danced his body across my tongue, before I swallowed. I sighed happily, feeling him thrashing inside as he slid through my throat into my stomach. "Mmm… that's a nice start!" I said, smiling contentedly as I patted my tummy. The next thing I heard was… music? Someone was playing a lute nearby…
I smiled, my hunger sated for now as I stood up on all fours. I traipsed through the forest, trees as tall as I was passing by slowly as I proceeded deeper into the green depth--
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Kara! Sorry to disturb you this early in the morning, but can you do something about your daughter???" the voice of Lassic echoed, sounding panicked as he ran away from a small, young catgirl. That was my daughter, Keily. And she was… running around with my knife.
"Keily! What have I told you about playing around with my knives? You could hurt yourself!" I sighed, scratching at my forehead as I stood up. I couldn't help but giggle as Keily tried to swing the knife, easily twice her size. Her footing slipped though, and she fell on her rump, with the knife landing next to her.
"Kara, has anyone ever told you that you have a wild daughter?" Lassic stammered, visibly shaken. Then again, I think anyone would be shaken from being chased by a ten year old girl with a ten foot knife. Er, sword.
"Well, yeah, I have been told that. By more then a few people," I replied, giggling as Keily stood up and dusted herself off.
"Mommy!!! Lassic's being mean! He won't play with me!!" she shouted, puffing her cheeks hugely. "Make him play Knights with me!"
"Stop trying to kill me with that thing! Can't we play something where I don't have to worry about getting my head cut off?" Lassic argued, still pale from his near death experience as he gasped for breath.
"No! I need someone to help me practice playing with a sword!" Keily fumed, stomping her foot.
"Keily! Swords are NOT toys!" I scowled at her, crossing my arms. "How many times do I have to tell you that???"
"B-But all of Hayate's games have people swinging swords! It looks fun mommy!" she argued, her tail standing stiffly as her face glowed crimson.
I sighed at that, shaking my head as I rubbed my forehead. "What has Hayate been teaching you…"
"Is she still going to kill me…?" Lassic asked, having decided to hide behind my foot.
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Comments: 18
The last part is very cute ^^ although weilding a weapon twice her size? D: shes going the final fantasy route!
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I have to say... after the first few paragraphs I lost all attention on this story due to its utter lack of descriptive detail. This is the major downfall I was talking about in your prologue, when you write from the first person you loose all semblance of description and become stuck in a rut so-to-speak. This is why I and even great writers like the master of suspense and horror, Stephen King recommend writing from the third person perspective. You are able to add in so much detail and your stance as to which character you are portraying is kept neutral; you're able to describe the feelings of all the characters then in such great detail that you no longer need feel like you've left anything out.
Another area I noticed is that you neglect to describe the person of whom you are portraying. I haven't read or seen the bios of half of these people and I have no idea what they look like, your job as the literary artist is to paint me a picture in my head and I have to say, I don't see a whole lot. Description is key in any story, even if it is the hundredth time you've described that person you are doing not only yourself but your readers a great service by describing them. Everything is important, keep that in mind.
I say a few things that I did like about this, you have a sense of humor that I just can't help but chuckle at some of the antics and shtick you keep putting these invisible characters in. The first scene had a feeling of sultry and provocativeness to it that I nearly felt my ears turn red at reading. These are both good traits that you should keep but I think that your efforts would be better served writing from the third person perspective. These areas would be enhanced by at least ten fold if you do that.
All in all, it has great potential but for now it doesn't capture my interest. However, because of that potential I shall look forward to what you put out next. The chance to help you grow even stronger in this area of your talent is almost too good to pass up.
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Whoa, Lassic's quite a wuss oO
Ich bin schwer von dir enttäuscht, Lassic. Ganz im ernst.
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Really? Then, what would you do if you got chased by a girl carrying a weapon twice your size?
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If I was a bloody knight, whose raison d'être is fencing/ sword play, then I'd be hardly manaced by a ten year old who wields a weapon that's so awfully unhandy.
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Lassic's a knight? 
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Wow that looks like a fun day!
I love this story! Good work!
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O.o i hope she learns not to kill tinies, even when playing ^^'
though i'd love to become friends with Keily XD
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Keily's human size :-P she's not giant. But yes, I do hope she doesn't go around killing people XD I already have to stop Hiro from doing that.
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oh, i see ^^'
is she going to grow, though?
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Nah, she's not gonna get any bigger then your average human X-P She's adopted is why.
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Hope you look forward to the next piece : >
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Keily: Lassic, you're so mean! You're supposed to play with me, not run from me! Hmph!
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