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daimy — never
Published: 2006-01-13 04:31:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 202; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 6
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Description i gave you my strenght
i trusted you blue-
ness of heart

i thought i was meant
to drown in your dim
waters of time
but you were not the one to save me

exterminate all lies
play with them and make them die
you told to bring all grief
and your voice to be the thief-

you asked me to sleep
i heard your grey-
painted song

you thought i had slipped
from my world into
yours gone strong
but i was not the one to save you

can you hear it?
it's the scream of mistrust
can you hear them?
it's the spell you won't cast

why do i
keep creating you
while my castle will fall?
why do you
keep haunting me
if your crystal goes blind?

i won't save you
you won't save me
take my hand
let's fall apart together
to this land
of being apart forever.
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Comments: 9

David-Parr [2006-06-02 17:43:57 +0000 UTC]

:0 felicidades, eres muy buena para la poeia en ingles
y lo lamento, no tengo ideaspara las ultimas 2 lineas

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

daimy In reply to David-Parr [2006-06-02 21:43:17 +0000 UTC]

graciass.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

x-schatten-x [2006-02-28 01:25:51 +0000 UTC]

ay turra no me dijiste nada de que tenias uno para vos sola x)
te agrego, aunk mi cosa no la uso para nada
voy a ver si la revivo..
pero la idea es tener una CAMARA DIGITAL y sacar MUCHAS FOTOS
pero me falta $$$
en fin...
me gustalo escrito
pero pliz, en castellano, al menos una vez, dale?
x)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

daimy In reply to x-schatten-x [2006-03-02 19:04:32 +0000 UTC]

lo en castellano no lo subo.. bah, hay un scrap de winter, creo.. pero serías la única ke lo entendería..además, los poemas en castellano apestan

wii, yo tmb te agrego.. si no te agregué antess...

kiero cámara kiero cámara!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

blissful-nightmares [2006-01-15 20:08:39 +0000 UTC]

i think that the last stanza.. the entire stanza.. not just the last line.. is quite incredible.. your right about the third stanza.. something must be done.. i think its important that the first line in the forth stanza does not rhyme with the lines in the third stanza.

now.. to see about the tird stanza itself..
lets try maybe.

destroy all the lies
play with them and make them die
you told "me" to bring all grief -are you sure the grammar here is exactly right? :S..
and your voice "would" be my thief-

you asked me to rest
i heard your grey-
painted song


just an idea.. i think the poem is quite good. .. keep posting.. and keep sending me notes

-Love Elizabeth

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

daimy In reply to blissful-nightmares [2006-01-18 21:32:10 +0000 UTC]

lol.. i like when i use grammar the way i shouldnt, i invent words or ways of saying things that are not correct.. everyone does that
anyway..
i like your idea
really.. i'll think better about it when i have time, lol.
thanks for commenting and thinking

keep sending me notes you too!
and.. posting? i guess? yes! post something!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

blissful-nightmares In reply to daimy [2006-01-19 13:30:23 +0000 UTC]


👍: 0 ⏩: 0

jessedee [2006-01-13 17:24:15 +0000 UTC]

I like the last line. It's strong, it's good. Not sure about the previous one before the last though...
and yeah, something should be done with the 3rd stanza, it's pretty.. don't know, it brought a smile on my face an it shouldn't have

anyways, it's a good poem, loved it, and +fav-ed it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

daimy In reply to jessedee [2006-01-13 20:39:09 +0000 UTC]

what can i do?
lol..
thanks much!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0