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DanShive — An Open Letter to Shoe Spambot
Published: 2006-11-11 18:54:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 9901; Favourites: 37; Downloads: 31
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Dear those who inexplicably try to sell shoes on these forums,we are not a shoe loving people. We are people sitting at computers discussing the finer points of comics, video games, and other aspects of nerd culture. It is highly doubtful that any of us care much about shoes in general, let alone your shoes.
Many of us are not wearing shoes. I'm not wearing shoes. I'm wearing socks, but not even ads regarding socks would appeal to me. I have a fine cache of socks, and quite frankly, an advertisement on these forums for socks would be evidence in my mind to go with a completely different manufacturer of socks altogether.
Shoes are not a big concern for most of us. Many of us will go for years with the same shoes, waiting before we venture out to acquire more only until they can literally no longer be worn without aide of duct tape. For some of us, the shoes will have to have reached such a point that not even the might of duct tape can mend them.
At such a time, we will want shoes that fit the molds of our lowest appendages. Contrary to our solitary and lazy natures, we will voyage forth to shoe stores to try on shoes so that we may know they will actually fit properly. The salespeople, though fearful of our stinky feet, will benefit greatly from these excursions, and the economy will sing with joy as our feet are newly adorned with the latest styles of footwear.
Simply put, we don't wanna buy your crappy shoes.
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Comments: 61
Ironically the ad to the left of this is a Nike shoe ad for me.
Ain't that just a nifty coincidence?
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One suspects that the ads are context-sensitive.
I don't seen any, presumably because the server they come from is on my Opera blacklist.
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Well said! Doom on the faceless corporate advertisers of the internet!
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People try to advertise shoes on forums?
What if that company's size 5 is your normal ones size 3?
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I love this! I've got only 2 pairs of "shoes", that's 1 pair of sneakers more than 5 years old and still going strong, and a pair of 'formal' shoes like the kind you wear to a wedding and don't want canine expellments on the soles of.
Apart from them, I've got a single pair of sandals that have lasted me for atleast 8 years and a perfect for late-spring through early-autumn (say, November through May, Aussie seasons) and a pair of good ugg boots for the colder parts of the year.
And that's not counting my hiking BOOTS (not shoes) for when I do decide to go for a bit of camping once in a while.
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I honestly don't know what to say about this, other then it amused me
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My English teacher forwarded this to me. It's pretty funny.
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I completely agree... I don't like buying new shoes (unless mine are too small/damged)
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I only buy new shoes when mine are falling apart. Even then I buy cheap ones.
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Beware, the shoespammers are just the beginning..
Soon, the GLOVE sellers shall appear, one by one..
The war is beginning..
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Beautifully eloquent
The art of letter writing is lost to many... but clearly not to you ^.^
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I was not aware of this shoe spam!!!! I shall go out and fight it with the . . . what's the opposite of shoe.
. . . WITH THE BAREFOOT OF JUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"Ach! Ye don't like the shoes? Blasphemy!" says the Shoe Goblin.
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I'd care about their shoes if they had wheels on them.
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it use to be that the "preview" on writings was either an image of your choice or a DA symbol, but when they updated DA they changed it so the preview is at the beginning of the text, and the author tag is the only thing that shows up other than the first bit of text.
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Quite humerious, and if I spent more time on the forums (of which I've got enough to check already) I'd likely have seen one of those shoe ads. So Huzza for sticking it to the shoe man!
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lmao! that is so true! ^-^! duct tape can fix anything...
should know, I used to fix the faucet once.
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That's really cool. Wit is wonderful weapon on the internet. I haven't noticed these spammers of shoes, but maybe I just don't go on the Keenformums enough anymore.
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you know.. I'm under the impression that someone has sold out various forums, imageboards, and internetz all over the place to these advertising spam bots. In fact, I do believe the spambots are part of a larger hive mind that intends to advertise us to death.. or atleast advertise us into a mild state of annoyance..
As for the matter of shoes. Unless you're walking through acid, or getting stabbed in the foot a lot, most shoes last quite a long time. Which kind of rules out the need for spam-vertising.
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personally I own one pair of boots that's fine for everyday and church wear, and these will remain functional until I can no longer wear them to church
however, they don't die there, it's predecessors are still around for paintball and camping (it's amazing that a paintball can break leather) which are beyond the grip of ducktape but not beyond frankenstining (ie, sewing the cuts shut)
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Shoes are one of the things that shouldn't be advertised on the internet, along with food, organs, and brain surgery.
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As one of the few who do buy footware often I might add this,
We those of us who do buy footware often do so as we reach the duct tape far too often (4 times a year for me) as we walk often.*GHASP*
Well guess what,
That means it's nothing to me to walk to the store. I know where to buy what I want in the style I want and becouse I run them down I need to be sure they are the highest quality so they don't fall apart in a week instead of a few months time. Right now I'm wearing sandals with socks becouse my boots fell into peaces. The sandels are older. The boots aren't even a year old the sandels are going on 3 years. Thats pritty good for me. I'm buying annother pair of the sandels thies are STARTING to wear. I won't be getting the same boots. I'll go with the preveous brand (teach me to try and save money)
And the point of all this?
I am not going to buy a footware from someone so desprite that they think they must spam an online comic forum.
I need quality and I don't trust the quality of anything sold in spam.
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The spammers are going after chicks like me that spend hours in DSW Warehouses. But seriously... SHOE SPAM?! DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF?!
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I do wear shoes, but why would I buy spam'd shoes? When the **** is spam ever actually going to sell a product? It just::
a. Makes the product look suspicious (scam etc.)
b. Makes the reader feel contemptuous towards the vendor, so put them off
It's counter-productive, and annoying.
OH HOLD ON! Anyone who's listened to the H2G2 radio series will make a connection here. The evils of shoes like on that planet in the Secondary Phase. (I haven't heard it in a while, but I have a vague memory of it).
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It's advertising for a rival company! Then the actual one gets all the miffed customers.
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I, personally, care about my shoes; I have several pairs (although many were picked up cheap or secondhand); I usually wear either sneakers or sandals, but I want to get me some combat boots.
However, I spend most of my time barefoot, at least at home.
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Ain't that the truth. Usually ,after you take them off, the whole house smells from your stinky feet! X_X!
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How is that relevant, and why did you think everyone who read this needed to hear it?
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ah yes, unrelated advertisements. a source of amusement and annoyance, depending on how many you see in a day. very well put!
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Quite right too, I think I only bother with buying new boots around about the time that its been raining heavily for weeks and my feet have been soaked due to holes in the sole lol. Saying as I live in England it tends to rain 80% of the time... which is nice....
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I hate shoes. >.> Go sandals! *wears sandals in 40 degree weather*
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Seconded!
*wears sandals in sub-freezing weather*
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Yay for Sandals!
*wears her affectionately dubbed 'Jesus Sandals' in WINTER*
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Ironically, I actually am in need of new shoes, and I actually do care about my shoes. I'm actually going to be looking for two pairs of shoes, as I often like wearing black shoes, but those look ridiculous when I wear light clothing besides them. Ideally, I'd have a brown pair and a black pair of sneakers.
Nonetheless, I feel no love towards the shoe spam that shows up at Keenspot.
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"Nonetheless, I feel no love towards the shoe spam that shows up at Keenspot."
... the above made me laugh. Really, I thought that you wrote that forum post because you really liked the spam, and that you deleted those posts because you liked them so much! And now you say you feel no love towards the spam? Such contradiction! xD
I have 3 pairs of shoes I regularly wear; 1 black pair made out of leather, 2 brown (light / dark). This set seems to go with nearly anything I wear, for black jeans I wear the leather ones, for anything light (like my near-white bleached jeans) I wear my light brown (more like sand-colored) shoes, and the somewhat darker brown shoes seem to go with anything else.
And if I need something different, I also have an even darker pair of brown shoes plus a pair of non-scratched black leather shoes for special occasions (like singing in one of the two choirs near Christmas, or attending a wedding or something).
So my advice to those who never seem to have the shoes they need; buy brown (plus at least one set of black)!
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I really hope that your handwriting isn't as messy as the picture dictates...
Plus your works, whether written or drawn always make me laugh
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I don't normally use cursive, AND I was writing using a tablet. My handwriting isn't great, but it's better than that.
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