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Okay...I seem to be braving the icky computer a lot lately...but tonight it's mostly because I'm bored and upset. My roommate is off with her boyfriend (which is okay because I told her to go.) and my boyfriend is at his own dorm tonight. I'm not sure how to feel about that and the rest of this is going to be a vent so if you don't care, just ignore what's below.

Okay so he's been in my dorm all week and most of last week so I'm not starved for him or anything like that. It's just he dropped this huge bombshell on me today and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I know he's thick headed when it comes to these things so I'm pretty damn sure he didn't drop the bomb on purpose, but still. I want to talk to him about it, but he's not here and I guess that's kind of a good thing anyway. I'm a wreck and I wouldn't know what to say anyway.

First he tells me he'll be living in another town altogether for Junior year of college and I'm like...okay that's kind of sad, but he'll still be within easy driving distance so I can deal with this. Then he tells me that right after college he's going to go off and live in Japan with one of his buddies for a year. At this point I'm pretty bummed, as you can imagine. I can't exactly follow him there. To add injury to insult he then says the year after that he's going to go hang out in Europe with his brother. Don't get me wrong, I love Europe. Hell I've lived there and traveled all over it meself, but it's a trip between him and his brother. I don't exactly want to come between that. He's also going to visit Japan with his best friend when the guy gets his doctorate.

I guess it bothers me because it makes me doubt we'll work out and I'm insulted that he didn't tell me about these plans before. If he can just up and leave for like three years without even talking to me about it first...well what does that show? I just don't know about us anymore. I've been feeling a little shaky for a while now...basically I've been feeling ignored. Even when he's here it's like I'm invisible. The guy didn't even have a clue why I was mad at him when he ditched dinner with me and my family for ultimate frisbee (God I wanted to kill him ><' ) and has still yet to apologize for it. At least after I told him about the loneliness he payed more attention to me until he got this horrible cold and stopped playing so much damn WoW. I've been there and done that when it comes to having a boyfriend consumed by that game and it sucks >[

On top of all this, I can't go to Anime Boston with him and all my friends this year. It would be my first year going and at least four people I'm close to are going that I know of. I'm not big into anime, but hey...it was a chance to hang out. My roommate and I were planning to go, but our boss told us he's going to need us this summer because they're short on work (she lives with me outside of college as well...we're sisters at heart ^^) so we can't do much more than take a quick camping trip (which he still won't give me a straight answer on whether or not he's going to that either ). And I guess that's just adding to all of this a bit because my boy is going to be spending the time in someone else's house and I'm a naturally insecure person because I've been cheated on more than once before.

Anyway...if you read all that, you're a trooper. Really though, I'm not expecting an answer or comfort or anything from any of you. It's no big deal; I just know I'm not going to get it. Even you guys who live in the same building as me barely ever note my work (and yes I know you said something today to me in person...so shush there Mr. xD). Oh...and don't mind my cynicism. I'm just depressed right now.

Description
Okay...I seem to be braving the icky computer a lot lately...but tonight it's mostly because I'm bored and upset. My roommate is off with her boyfriend (which is okay because I told her to go.) and my boyfriend is at his own dorm tonight. I'm not sure how to feel about that and the rest of this is going to be a vent so if you don't care, just ignore what's below.

Okay so he's been in my dorm all week and most of last week so I'm not starved for him or anything like that. It's just he dropped this huge bombshell on me today and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I know he's thick headed when it comes to these things so I'm pretty damn sure he didn't drop the bomb on purpose, but still. I want to talk to him about it, but he's not here and I guess that's kind of a good thing anyway. I'm a wreck and I wouldn't know what to say anyway.

First he tells me he'll be living in another town altogether for Junior year of college and I'm like...okay that's kind of sad, but he'll still be within easy driving distance so I can deal with this. Then he tells me that right after college he's going to go off and live in Japan with one of his buddies for a year. At this point I'm pretty bummed, as you can imagine. I can't exactly follow him there. To add injury to insult he then says the year after that he's going to go hang out in Europe with his brother. Don't get me wrong, I love Europe. Hell I've lived there and traveled all over it meself, but it's a trip between him and his brother. I don't exactly want to come between that. He's also going to visit Japan with his best friend when the guy gets his doctorate.

I guess it bothers me because it makes me doubt we'll work out and I'm insulted that he didn't tell me about these plans before. If he can just up and leave for like three years without even talking to me about it first...well what does that show? I just don't know about us anymore. I've been feeling a little shaky for a while now...basically I've been feeling ignored. Even when he's here it's like I'm invisible. The guy didn't even have a clue why I was mad at him when he ditched dinner with me and my family for ultimate frisbee (God I wanted to kill him ><' ) and has still yet to apologize for it. At least after I told him about the loneliness he payed more attention to me until he got this horrible cold and stopped playing so much damn WoW. I've been there and done that when it comes to having a boyfriend consumed by that game and it sucks >[

On top of all this, I can't go to Anime Boston with him and all my friends this year. It would be my first year going and at least four people I'm close to are going that I know of. I'm not big into anime, but hey...it was a chance to hang out. My roommate and I were planning to go, but our boss told us he's going to need us this summer because they're short on work (she lives with me outside of college as well...we're sisters at heart ^^) so we can't do much more than take a quick camping trip (which he still won't give me a straight answer on whether or not he's going to that either ). And I guess that's just adding to all of this a bit because my boy is going to be spending the time in someone else's house and I'm a naturally insecure person because I've been cheated on more than once before.

Anyway...if you read all that, you're a trooper. Really though, I'm not expecting an answer or comfort or anything from any of you. It's no big deal; I just know I'm not going to get it. Even you guys who live in the same building as me barely ever note my work (and yes I know you said something today to me in person...so shush there Mr. xD). Oh...and don't mind my cynicism. I'm just depressed right now.