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dave-llamaman — Vanguard: First Contact. Chapter 7
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Published: 2017-01-07 12:15:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 520; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 10
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And another one! I'm on fire! Better put myself out then... Once again, I'm looking for any and all feedback: am I getting the dialogue right? Does everything make sense without being overly expositional? And most importantly of all, is it any good?Previous chapters can be found here: Prologue ; Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2 ; Chapter 3 ; Chapters 4&5 ; Chapter 6 ; Chapter 8 ; Chapter 9 ; Chapter 10 ; Chapter 11 ; Chapter 12 ; Chapter 13
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Comments: 1
Good transition 
Space battles can feel long and boring, or too abrupt, but yours flowed nicely and you manage to explain the why and how of things without bogging down the text. I loved your descriptions of the ships and how they move, and the battle felt intense. Really well done.
The switch in perspective was also good - it gave a dramatic arrival for the escapees from the fight, wrapping up the battle scene for this chapter. I would have liked a bit more from the Vanguard before switching back to Reilly's ship, but I'm not sure what will be going on for them in your plot arc and event sequence. Will they find out about the disastrous venture into Markhan space and come right back? Or are they set to have their own difficulties? Can't say from here, but I do look forward to finding out.
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