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davidfoxfire — 2013-09-18-Lectura Interrupta
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Published: 2013-09-18 09:49:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 1120; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 9
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Description
To see the comic from the beginning, go to the "Ballad of Johnny Briz" web page at foxfirestudios.net/johnnybrizSure took me long enough. Had a busy week with family and all. Things have died down some. Enough for me to finish this strip.
I still need work on my eyes. I have the extra lines down all right to have them better defined, but I still need to work on the corneas some more. Especially to make them smaller for the more 'matured' characters. It's a work in progress.
Thanks go to Porygon and Herb for help with the edits and script.
EDIT 1: Thanks to the commentators below for further proofreading.
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Comments: 4
"There are a lot of these job fairs running around these days." The verb tense doesn't agree.
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Thanks for the heads up.
aaaah, Verb Tenses. The bane of my writing existence.
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The expressions are pretty good in this one, and the establishing shot sets up the scene better than jumping transitions. I'm also glad you made his hair consistent.
Some notes:
Alex has detail in his pants and the white of his eyes in the last panel, but not in the first part where he's introduced.
The tail of Alex's last dialogue bubble runs a tangent with the line of his torso.
I thought we had the script edited to where it didn't need changing; "he but(t)s in just when I was going to vent my spleen on you, girl" -- a post-editing change indicated by a little uncharacteristic dialogue and spelling errors -- as well as Carolyn calling Alex by his full name like she was his mother, were added after we straightened all the dialogue out.
If you're going to add things after I fix the dialogue, please let me know before you post.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'll be sure to do that. I'll make the change later on tonight.
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