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Dazed-and-Wandering — Horns do not work that way
Published: 2011-10-04 04:41:44 +0000 UTC; Views: 19632; Favourites: 415; Downloads: 356
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"Trixie, horns do not work that way.""But the internet-"
"No."
I like to imagine that every once and a while Trixie breaks into Twilight's home to bug her.
(I'd say that if you think this is raunchy then there's something wrong with you, but this is the internet, everything is raunchy!)
Part 1 of my "Stupid sexy Twilight" series.
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Comments: 126
lol, try hard XD such a cute funny fail 
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Horn: a solid bone spike, covered in keratin for some animals, that sticks out of your skull
I understand that the Internet is obliged by contract to crank up the suggestiveness to 120% (especially anything involving the words "bone" or "horn"), but there's some things that simply do not fit well into the penis symbolism
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You mean like how horse hooves shouldn't get wrinkly from being in the water for too long?
Also, most horned creatures rely on their horns as a physical weapon, rather than as a conduit for magical spells. A unicorn doesn't particularly need their horn to be quite as solid, since they have little reason to resort to direct physical confrontation.
I don't think the magical talking equines of Equestria are necessarily bound to the same anatomical structures of animals from our world. The horn being the same color as the pony's coat suggests that it may not be made of bone like a normal horn.
Though, the fact that the spa does horn filing would also suggest that the horn is at least somewhat solid, and hopefully not a sensitive area. Of course, we've only seen Rarity get a horn filing, and she's the type that might suffer for beauty, so it's still possible.
The end result being that nobody cares how logical it all is, and they will continue to make unicorns have horngasms if it suits the scenario. So my entire post was fairly pointless. Yay!
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...I wasn't talking about the logic of the horns, I was talking about the lack of logic on the Internet's obsession with nonsensical sexualization
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You were stating how a horn does not work as an analogue to a penis due to it being made of bone. And I was responding that a unicorn's horn, especially in this land of magical marshmallow ponies, may not actually be made of bone. My point being, that a unicorn's horn as a sexual appendage is not necessarily nonsensical.
As for the Internet's obsession with sexualization of generally nonsexual objects, nonsensical or otherwise, well, it's the Internet. Even completely inanimate objects get sexualized here.
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And I though I had a bad habit of overanalyzing
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It's only a bad habit if you're taking it seriously. And really, we're essentially discussing the sensibility of colorful equines having magical penises on their forehead. If either of us is taking it seriously, then there are some major problems.
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Actually, if you'll allow me to switch to serious mode for a quick second, I've found a flaw in your "headpenis" logic:
Remember when I said horns are made of keratin-covered bone? Hair is also filled with keratin, so it's not much of a stretch to say that unicorn horns get the same pigments as the rest of the horse's coat
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Perhaps, but keratin doesn't affect the color of the fur to begin with. A mixture of different types of melanin is what causes difference in hair and fur colors, plus whatever other pigments would allow fur of every imaginable color.
You could assume that the horn also has those same pigments, but then we're back to the horn not being like a normal horn.
Which it wouldn't be like a normal horn either way, since unicorns are capable of using it, and apparently not other body parts, to channel magic, assuming that the magic doesn't come from the horn itself. But that debate just opens up a whole bunch more problems to resolve.
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"You could assume that the horn also has those same pigments (which I did, if you read closely), but then we're back to the horn not being like a normal horn..."
How so? There's no rule that real life animals don't have colored horns
"...assuming that the magic doesn't come from the horn itself. But that debate just opens up a whole bunch more problems to resolve."
What problems? It's magic; we don't gotta explain shit!
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Perhaps. I can't think of any specific case at the moment of an animal having a horn or other non-hair keratin-based body part that has similar coloring to that of hair due to melanin, but I suppose there's no reason it couldn't happen.
Magic, in Equestria, is a learn-able, study-able science. It's methods can be transcribed in books and even taught from one pony to another. And when something truly unexplainable occurs, such as Pinkie-sense, it's baffling because it falls outside of magical knowledge. So "we don't gotta explain shit" actually does not apply to magic, just everything else.
But now the questions. Is the horn itself magical, or is it merely a conduit for magical energies?
If the horn itself is magical, then it is most likely made up of materials not found within normal horns. And most likely materials that don't exist in the real world, or at least combined in such a way as to be incredibly unlikely in the real world. And if the horn was separated from it's owner, could someone else utilize it's magic? Unicorn horns have often been depicted in mythology as having magical properties, usually healing properties, but that isn't necessarily the case here, nor is it ever really explained why they have those properties anyway.
If the horn is merely used to channel the magic, then it's still possible that it could be made of normal materials, since we don't know what sort of material would best facilitate the transference of magical energy. However, that would open the question of why they can only use their horn, and why other types of ponies cannot use other body parts of similar composition to use their magical abilities for the same variety of tasks. Other ponies have magical ability, but it's nowhere near as varied and versatile as unicorn magic, for reasons that seem to rely on the presence of a horn.
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Wow, that was incredibly entertaining to read.
You get home from work and go to respond to one comment....
I really don't get the whole horn metaphor thing, (well I mean it's the internet, so I guess I do get it.)I mostly just felt like making fun of all of the "(blank), our horns are touching..." pictures popping up on equestria daily.
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Overanalysis is fun!
The best part of it was typing all of that up, looking at the picture that this was taking place on, thinking "what am I even doing?", and then posting it anyway!
Also, your signature makes me happy, though you seem to have made a pretty bad typo. You seem to have accidentally typed "Rarity" when you meant to type "Trixie". That's ok, it happens, and I'm sure Trixie will forgive you.
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You may be right there, but legally I'm obligated to say Rarity.
(Also Rarity will hurt me if I say anything else, she's always watching...) *flinches*
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"It's only a bad habit if you're taking it seriously."
I thought it was already established that we weren't, but whatever
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Isn't it kinda already? Because they're both female?
So is it gay, or some kind of double gay?
Or do the two different types of gay cancel out, making it straight?
Think about it, I know I'm not.
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Nope, the rules of Internet gayness require touching horns. Alright, I made that up on the spot, but it sounds reasonable, does it not?
Gayness is not increased or decreased by quantity, only by quality. Five lowly gay individuals amount only to lowly gayness, while one supergay beats them all. Gayrithmatics
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True, but feast your eye tongues on these math pops!
(Implied (girl x girl) and horn touching is implied (guy x guy)so this image contains 2 types of gay.)
(Girl x Girl) + ( Guy x Guy ) = 2(This image)
2Girl + 2 Guy = 2(this image)
divide by 2
Girl + Guy = This image
Girl and guy cancel
0 = this image
I believe that the gay factor for this image = 0
But that's just me, I was never that good at math.
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XD Adorable. This is my new favorite potrayal of the relationshp between Twilight and Trixie XD
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It's the only way I could see that relationship working.
(Okay not really, but it's still the funniest.)
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I have to agree xD
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HORNS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY...GOOD NIGHT!!!
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Yay, somebody got my reference.
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You're facial expressions really make the piece, 
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Both of their expressions are hilarious. Gotta love Trixie the Troll and Twilight's not amused face.
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Trixie.
Once a bothersome pony, always a bothersome pony. XD
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Twilight does not approve with what the internet says...meaning everything I believe in is a lie. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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I like how trixie has the same expression as Berry Punch.
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Do you mean cherilee? because that's what I used as a reference.
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I remember a pictures of Berry Punch making the same face, only with a glazed over look in her eyes. it was an Equestra Daily banner she was in with Colgate.
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It is the best expression, all ponies should make it at least once!
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What blasphemy is this, WHY DO WE NOT HAVE MORE TRIXIE TROLL!?
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When was it even started that horns are sensual part of a pony body?
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Well, horn is part that works with magic fields or something so fanon stated they're pretty sensitive. Sensitive = makes ponies happy when stimulated. Also, pegasi have wingboners, now unicorns have something too.
Only earth ponies have nothing...
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Except REAL dicks and vaginas.
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But then it should be treated like a weapon not (for lack of better terminology) a penis
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I personally don't think it would be like that, but it makes a lot of things funnier.
Really what I'm trying to say is that it doesn't work like that, and Trixie just got some wrong ideas from the internet.
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"I don't know and I don't know if I should be excited or scared to find out."
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acording to the many fanfics ive read, this could mean just about anything
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The internet: Giving ponies the wrong ideas about their horns since 2010.
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