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ddrcoke21 — I'm Finally Seeing
Published: 2009-12-05 06:24:11 +0000 UTC; Views: 345; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 3
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Description
We're just the players of a gameI can't begin to imagine
What you're thinking of.
Your next turn,
What's your move?
And I'm seeing finally,
That all of it is for a reason.
I breathe to live to see your face.
You're my reason I'm alive.
I can't imagine what you're thinking of.
I can't turn off the flashbacks in my head.
I wish there was some way to silence
My tears and fears, but now
It's clear.
This was meant to be.
This was what was supposed to happen.
This was meant for you and me.
This was what we had to feel.
This was what we were all too afraid
To ask of each other.
This is love,
Plain and simple,
This is love.
And I can feel your heartbeat
For the first time in years,
The sweetest beat to a love song.
I can't bear to give this up,
I can't bear to leave this behind.
So I won't.
This is what I want.
This is what we need.
This is what we always hoped for,
This is why we dream.
And I've figured it out,
Because I don't remember my life
Without you.
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Comments: 9
Okay, I must do this! I warn you, this is a "Rave" Critique!
THIS IS THE TRUTH! Mostly, this piece possesses "Structure"!
Overall It's a "unit"! It reminds me of good Architecture in
that no part, word or phrase overshadows the "whole"! It's
so effective how this piece "builds-and-builds" as you read it
from beginning to end! It starts "small", the middle "explains"
major feelings, and ends with a "sweet" little surprise! The title
is "drop-dead" perfect for this lovely little piece. Each paragraph
complements the last one. "I'm finally seeing" that this poet
has a vast understanding of the human condition! The main
aspect of this piece is that it actually puts into words the
complex feelings of love that are universal to all of us! I just
never seen it "spelled-out" so straightforward and "cleanly"
as it is done here! Quite an an accomplishment!
I'm sorry if this "Critique" sounds fake and I'm just trying to
gain favor with someone. It's not, and I'm Not! I tend to
"gush"allot about this poets works, and I mean it, but he
really out-did himself on this heart-felt little piece, and I really
connected with it! And it touched me deeply! I wish that I
could do this! This poem reads like "Music".....
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Thanks a ton! This really means a lot to me.
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Your welcome. I spake only the truth unto you!
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Oh yeah Steve! I forgot to add....
You know what I also like about your "I'm Finally Seeing"?
It was achieved without being overly sentimental or "cutesy"!
I dislike "cute"! It "walked-that-line" of good balance.
And it came-off with real sincerity! Thank you for writing
that piece of art. It makes me think! Amazing how "Words"
can effect a body.....you got me good!
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Beautiful! This is real good, just Lovely!
And I don't want to hear that "this is the same crap" stuff!
I find that quite insulting....And it's not fair to you!
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