HOME | DD

Dee-Ziner — I hate this

Published: 2009-02-21 16:30:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 223; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description The only reason I feel I should submit this, is because it looks as good as it does.

The reason I hate it? It's because, I look at it and it feels like I've given up or something.

See, I have these little lumps of bone sticking out here and there, mostly on my legs, called exostoses (=lit. 'branching', 'small growths' ) and one of these have these last months been seriously painful. So yeah, went to a doctor, he sent me to Turku and the hospital (TYKS) there.

The first time I step into the doctors office, he litterarily tells me, like a slap in the face 'I really think it's cancer.'. Since then, I don't know what to believe. Part of me still thinks it's just a little lump of bone messing with my muscle, but there's this thought: What if it IS cancer?

I drew this picture, thinking about it. When I was done, I felt horrible. Or at least miserable, because of the fact that it's a portrait of me with a cane. Don't get me wrong, canes are awesome... but it still feels like it's not part of me. With this picture, I feel like I've just admitted defeat. I don't even know if I have cancer or not, but it still feels horrible.

So the only reason I save it, is because it looks great. I spent alot of effort in it, and I do like how it turned out. But I hate it still. Not because of its looks, but the emotions I get from it.

So yeah. I hate it.
Related content
Comments: 4

lilmissgrusome [2011-11-26 15:34:24 +0000 UTC]

i have exotoses too,
it could be that a small lump is irritating your muscle or catching some nerves, have you had an operation on your leg lately?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Dee-Ziner In reply to lilmissgrusome [2011-11-27 07:22:14 +0000 UTC]

Oh, the operation was a long time ago. I've healed up perfectly fine and the lump on the bone in my thigh is long gone!

The explanation to my pain and suffering was that the lump had started irritating the muscle it was located under, making some form of scartissue like substance inside the leg, swelling it and causing me considerable amounts of pain. So much to the point I couldn't sleep, stand, walk properly or concentrate in school.

Only thing to do: Get in under the muscle and remove the lil' bastard. Took me two days to get back in shape, or enough shape should I say, to leave the hospital and continue my healing au natural at home. This meant walking without the cane I had walked with earlier.

But yeah top answer your question: Yes, I've had an operation. But it was quite some time ago. Two, three years maybe.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lilmissgrusome In reply to Dee-Ziner [2011-11-27 19:32:18 +0000 UTC]

Ouch that sounds painful! I'm glad they got the lump out, they're nasty little bastards.
Anyway, did the operation help in anyway?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

JuraquilleAmie89 [2009-02-22 00:40:47 +0000 UTC]

ja håller me, d e en jädrans bra bild. ja håller åxå tummarna för dig, o hoppas att idiot-läkaren har FEL

👍: 0 ⏩: 0