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Deeborm β Limbo of the Lost, Part 2 (M8 Merchants)
Published: 2013-04-14 02:08:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 454; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 6
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Description
CHAPTER SELECT OF THE LOST1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6
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Comments: 11
I still love this! So much!
...is it odd that I think of Oscer the Grouch singing "I love trash" when I read that "I. HATE. BUGS!" though?
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Maybe a little odd. But I guess it is a song, since it's Round, so...
Round is weird.
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I spotted a spelling thing: "LizΒ andΒ TorekΒ duckedΒ and...", on page 11. Isn't it Torak?
Also, I loved your hint here to Bruce's namesake here with the "World's Greatest Detective" line, nice job! And his subtle nervousness with the bugs. And Selena! Oh gosh, Torak's comment that she's pretty and Bruce's response is just perfect for their relationship (at this moment in time that is).
On a more general note, I thought your characterization for Vince was really good; I especially liked the line about him as a CEO type character, very appropriate.
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Dammit, dammit, dammit! I only hope I don't get graded too harshly for the odd error that slipped through.
Poor Bruce. "Alert to sounds" and everything.
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I'm sure you'll be okay. I can't imagine they'd dock you by a lot - that was literally the only mistake I saw.
Yeah, sometimes it's a curse...
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I will bathe in your blood
Ally you're so charming
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A real hit with the ladies, that one.
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Haha
"hit"
Deeborm used Pun
It's super effective
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