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deeclear — Non-Existent by-nc-nd
Published: 2009-09-18 07:35:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 64; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 2
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Description Dreaming alone in my room
of a man who doesn't exist.
knowing that he will love and cherish me.
That he will be my perfect mate,
My soul mate.

We will understand each other most time,
Yes, we will have our arguments but they
will usually end in compromise.
He will understand my side of things
even though he might not agree.

He will be tall and unique in appearance.
He will have a smile that will melt me
from the inside out.
He has a heart of clay which he is
willing to let me shape myself in.

I will be the Ying to his Yang.
The water to his fire.
The eye of his storm.
He is the anger to my calmness.
The free spirited to my meekness.

I am his reality and
He is my non-existent.
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deeclear - Finding Neverland
Comments: 10

Leurindal [2009-09-18 12:53:22 +0000 UTC]

There are a number of things I love about this poem. Among them are the contrasts you create, contrasts which culminate in the final lines: I am his reality, he's my non-existent - very powerful lines, excellent ending. I'm not sure about 'I'll be... the water to his fire' though. While Yin and Yang are opposites, they are reconcilable, indeed their unity is perfection! On the other hand, water can't coexist with fire, it would just extinguish it! As such, even though the contrasts are very good, I wouldn't include such a description. Use metaphors to show difference and even opposition, but not incompatibility!

Well done, though, it's a good poem and an interesting read

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deeclear In reply to Leurindal [2009-10-02 21:45:04 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much!! I greatly appreciate your comments and ideas. I will have to think of about something else instead of water and fire.

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Leurindal In reply to deeclear [2009-10-02 21:59:42 +0000 UTC]

you're very welcome keep writing!

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deeclear In reply to Leurindal [2009-10-02 23:02:01 +0000 UTC]

I so totally will.

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alapip [2009-09-18 09:40:19 +0000 UTC]

he's out there someplace, Dee.
you just have to find him,
or he find you.

well written poem.

pip

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deeclear In reply to alapip [2009-09-18 10:20:50 +0000 UTC]

Oh thank you!!

What's funny is that I have dreamed of the same man for years. Ever since I was in Elementary school. He has changed slightly from having blond straight hair to black shaggy (potter) hair and he has gotten older. He facial looks though haven't changed at all. I always have dreams about him. Kinda like dates as if he knows he is not real. It is strange for a dream to know it is nothing more than a dream.

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alapip In reply to deeclear [2009-09-18 21:08:52 +0000 UTC]

maybe he's out there dreaming
of you, Dee...


pip

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deeclear In reply to alapip [2009-10-02 21:55:56 +0000 UTC]

Well maybe.

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alapip In reply to deeclear [2009-10-02 22:56:12 +0000 UTC]

you can never know...

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deeclear In reply to alapip [2009-10-02 23:01:41 +0000 UTC]

and that is why I hope way down low. smile.

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