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“I-I…I had a m-miscarriage… our baby’s dead, F-frank.”
The stuttered and heartbreaking line played over and over and over. Frank’s head felt ready to burst. Everything he had dreamed for, everything he had hoped to be had been crushed when Jamia had said that. He had taken it out of her and shouted, screamed, and ran out. She had cried violently and tried to comfort him, wailing through her slurred sentences. But it hadn’t worked. That never worked. There was only one person he could turn to now, as he ran the streets, eyes blurry from the many tears falling from them.
Gerard Way. He would listen… of course. Frank had left him, abandoned him and completely scorned and humiliated him when he had tried to open himself up to the other, but of course Gerard would listen. He had to, or else Frank knew his heart might rip apart more than it had already.
Numbness made Frank’s body feel cold and empty. The scarf round his neck and the fingerless gloves on his hands did nothing for this kind of cold. Then again, it was better than before. Before had been hurt, pain and worry. That had almost killed him. “Oh fuck, no no, this can’t be happening… our baby. Beautiful beautiful baby. Gone. Dead. Her fault. Fuck, I hate her. Gerard will understand.” This and more strung from his quivering lips, being heard by passers by clearly as he still ran, breathing heavy as he struggled to keep at his fast pace. If people had gathered more than a quick glance he knew he would have gotten ‘Dear, are you okay?’ He, after all, looked a mess. His hair was spiked and messy from him pulling it and raking his fingers through it in aggravation and his eyes were puffy and bloodshot from crying. He didn’t wear make-up. She had stopped that. Yeah, there were a lot of things Jamia had stopped.
After what felt like a lifetime of blank running, finally he saw it. It was almost comical how happy and normal the house looked. Flowers were hung in baskets outside and the door was painted bright purple. It was lovely, with the fancy number ‘24’ on the front. He’d memorised the address a while ago, though had never seen the house before. Lyn-z and Gerard must be having a nice life, he thought with a slight tingle in his stomach. That was… good. Good, he reminded himself. But everything else was fucking bad. Slowly he lifted his hand to the door, pounding on the door.
Almost as soon as he’d got in the first few knocks he felt his sobs begin again, spilling out through his lips despite him digging his teeth deep into his bottom lip. His eyes burned from crying and he slumped down to the floor outside Gerard’s door.

Only wearing a pair of boxers and a grin, Gerard puffed on his cigarette before stubbing the butt out in the ashtray, looking across at Lyn-z who wore that lovely blue see-through gown. Her figure was clear and bare underneath. She was ready, he was ready.
As she sauntered to him, he budged up to make room on the bed next to him. She ignored the space and kneeled in front of him, fingers trailing across his navel and down to the bulge in his boxers. He let out a moan, shivering gently. Then he jumped awkwardly and Lyn-z feel back quickly as a fist struck the door several times, hard.
Gerard looked alarmed, getting up quickly and grabbing his jeans, pulling them on. He gave Lyn-z an apologetic look. “I’ll only be a min.”
“Yeah, it’s fine. I’ll make something to eat.” She smiled lightly, moving past him to the kitchen.
Sighing, annoyed he’d have to give that up, he moved to the front door, opening it gently. At first, he saw no-one, eyes trailing across the space where there should be a person. Then fingers clasped his ankle and he let out a gasp, stepping backwards. His frantic gaze lowered and he looked down at a pathetic and depressed looking Frank. His heart jerked. “Oh fuck.”

Dry sobs taking over, Frank felt like convulsing, slipping up onto his hands and knees, looking up nervously at Gerard who simply stared, obviously not sure what to do. “Sh-sh-she..” He gave a tortured cry and collapsed again, curling tightly into a ball. No, no, bad idea coming here. Should have gone somewhere else. Mikey would have understood too, and Mikey didn’t hate him like Gerard did.
But obviously he didn’t want Mikey’s arms round him, comforting him. That was Gerard’s job. Was, he reminded himself, causing more tears.
“Fuck” The older male said again, getting down on his knees and grabbing Frank’s wrists, tugging them back and forcing the other to meet his gaze. “Get inside. Now.”
“B-b-but.. I…Gerard..” he gasped, shivered from head to toe, causing Gerard to give him a look filled with remorse and… pity. Frank looked down in shame.
“No, get inside or else I’ll force you in.”
“O-oka-”
“Don’t talk. Get in.” Gerard tugged his wrists, forcing Frank to stand unstably, leaning close to the other for support. Slowly but surely, Gerard coaxed Frank in and sat him down on the couch, pushing his hair back from his face and moving to the kitchen to get Lyn-z, leaving Frank alone.
Another cry escaped his lips but he tried to keep it quiet, moving into a lying position on the couch, waiting, closing his eyes and trying to block out the pain.

“What’s wrong with him?”
“I don’t know! He looks awful though… God, I don’t know what to do. Can you help?”
Lyn-z sighed gently, looking beaten.
“Please?” He tried, eyes pleading. “I can’t do it. You know I can’t. He…what he did, I can never forgive that, no matter what’s wrong with him. He needs someone, but not me.”
“I still don’t see why you say that. He left… you had to accept that, it was best.”
“He left for the wrong reasons..”
“For his wife? His family?”
Gerard stayed silent, looking down, putting the cigarette to his lips, shaking his head. He didn’t stay for me, he thought silently, watching as Lyn-z gave up and headed to the living room.
“Frank?” She asked quietly, and Gerard came in too, lurking at the doorway, knowing she could handle it.
Frank mumbled something incoherent and lifting his arm from his face, looking into her kind eyes. “Lyn-z” he smiled gently, holding out an arm. She obliged and hugged him gently, feeling a little awkward in the revealing robe.
“Come on, what’s wrong love..”
“I-It’s…Jamia..”
Gerard frowned, averting his eyes but listening intensely. Oh yeah, it was about that bitch. No, no. She’s not a bitch, of course not. That’s just you being nasty. He had to tell himself that it wasn’t her fault. She didn’t force Frank to leave. He had done it himself. Still…she had been his reason to leave.
“She….had a miscarriage. Our baby…it’s dead… gone. Fuck!”
Lyn-z wrapped her arms around him immediately, eyes wide with horror. “Oh dear.. Frank, I’m so sorry..” She gave Gerard a glance, frowning.
“He’s your friend” she mouthed as Frank sighed into her shoulder, tears dried up and not falling anymore.
Gerard glanced coldly at them both. “Used to be.” He said aloud, moving back into the kitchen. Frank lifted his gaze, watching his friends retreating back. His heart fell. Not for the first time today, his heart was injured badly. All he needed was for Gerard to say the words and he knew he’d break down. He just hoped he wasn’t that angry.

Though Gerard had been obviously been unhappy about it, Frank had stayed over the previous night and didn’t seem to have intentions of leaving. He couldn’t argue, though. He may hate the man right now, but he was aware of how he must hurt, and didn’t want to tip him over the edge.
“Ughh…fuck..” Frank murmured groggily, eyes half-closed as he made his way into the kitchen, barely aware of Gerard in the room as he immediately went for the coffee. A habit that the older male had imprinted on him.
“Sleep well?” Gerard asked gently, though his tone suggested he couldn’t care less.
Frank winced gently, but tried to hide it as he poured himself a cup and glanced over at the other. “I didn’t…” He trailed off, looking at the bottle in Gerard’s hand. “Since when are you drinking again?”
Grinning without humour, Gerard shook the bottle and raised it to his lips, before putting it down roughly on the side. “Since you decided you’d fuck off out of my life, actually.”
Frank looked down at his feet, frowning gently at how insensitive the other was being. “You know it wasn’t as simple as that…”
“Oh? Do I? All I know is that you decided to…insult me and drag me down..” he paused, almost crying. “I can handle rejection, but did you have to do that Frank?”
“Gerard! You’re being a bastard. You know I didn’t mean to hurt you. I couldn’t just pass up everything for that.”
“Why? I was willing to for you. I was willing to give up everything, the whole world for you.”
“It doesn‘t work like that.”
Gerard gave him a frustrated look as shook his head. “Whatever, Frank.”
“No, go on. Say what you’ve been dying to say. Come on, kick me while I’m hurting. Make it painful, I’m ready to hear it.”
“Fine. Frank, I hate you more than anyone in the world. You ruined what happiness I had left in my life, and I want you to leave. I want you to get out of what excuse for a life I have left, because believe it or not, I’m happy! For once in what seems like forever since you did that to me, I’m fucking happy! You’re screwing it all up, you bastard!” He shouted, panting heavily with the exhilaration of getting it out.
Frank said nothing, expression clearing. Slowly tears rolled down his cheeks. His fists clenched. There it was. There was the final piece of his heart, torn apart. “I…I’ll go.” He said nothing more, but stayed numb and blank, heading to the spare room to pack his things and get changed. Fine….he would leave…
Flinging clothes into his bag, breathing ragged and low sobs escaping his lips he didn’t hear as the other male came into his room. The only give-away of his presence was the sudden hard hand on his shoulder. Frank spun round defensively, eyes wide and tear-filled.
“W-what? What the fuck more could you want?” He asked desperately, just wanting to leave.
“Don’t go.” Gerard said firmly. It was more of a command than a plead, but it still caused Frank to stop and glance curiously at him.
“What?”
“Stay. I have no right to kick you out. I have right to hate you, but not to kick you out. You can stay as long as you need, but don’t expect anything from me. No comfort, no friendship. You blew that already. Right?”
Frank let out a long breath, shivering. “R-right… thank you..”
“No. I’m not letting you stay because I want to. I’m letting you stay because Lyn-z will hate me if I don’t, so don’t fucking thank me. Unpack, and stay the fuck out of my way.” With that, he left. The faint smell of alcohol lingered, and Frank had to wonder whether the alcohol had put words in his mouth, or just forced them out.