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*The scenery is the Oprah high. Derek is approaching the bus line*

Derek: Attention bus drivers! One of your buses has been lined with bombs by a mad man!

*All the bus drivers get out, most look scared, but three look angry*

Derek: Shiiit! Shit shit shit!
Terrorists: AAAAH!
*Derek grabs one by the face, and pulls him down to his knee, then drops him. He punches one in the solar plexis and headbutts the other one.*
Derek: Please, excuse me. I must look at the bottoms of the buses. *He does so. About the fourth one down he finds the bomb. A tense scene of guessing which wires to cut follows, but he does cut the right ones* Alright, now if you'll excuse me, I must depart for the bus depot! *The remaining bus drivers cheer him on*

*Scenery is Obama elementary. Sean has it easier, as only one bus has arrived so far. He knows it has the bomb. The principal, by chance, is standing outside, and notices him.*

Principal: Can I help you sir?
Sean: There's a bomb on that bus!
Principal: Is there now? Hmm, let me see... *Flips through papers* Ah yes. There is. I put it there. And you must be Sean Argus. Master Roma told me to look for you. *He kicks Sean in the chest*
Sean: Arrgh! *He pulls out his knife, and the principal terrorist also pulls out a knife*

*What follows is the most epic explodey knife fight ever. Sean comes out victorious, and goes to the bus. Another tense cut the right wires scene follows. And of course, Sean cuts the right wire.*
Sean: Phew. Now to head for the bus depot.

*AT THE BUS DEPOT. Sean and Derek arrive at the same time. The bus is right there, as the terrorist said. But what he failed to mention was the vast amount terrorists guarding said bus*

Derek: Are you ready to protect freedom?
Sean: You know it buddy!
*A fight scene occurs. Sean starts by shooting into the crowd of terrorists, thinning it out for Derek. Sean then throws knives and manages to hit a few. Derek runs in, kicking the crap out of many terrorists at once, with a flurry of punches and kicks. The terrorists are taken care of, but there is only 5 minutes on the clock.*
Derek: Shit. We don't have time. I'm going to have to throw it into lake michigan.
Sean: What?! Derek, I can believe you throwing a car, but a bus? Impossible!
Derek: Nothing's impossible for freedom!
*Derek struggles in picking up the bus, but manages. He tosses it pretty far into lake Michigan. A huge water explosion follows.*
Sean: Hahaha, we did it Derek! We did it!
*A payphone that wasn't there before has appeared. They notice it and pick up the receiver.*
Roma: Ah, gentlemen, you're just in time for the show! 3, 2 1... Annnnd BOOM! *There is an explosion in the distance*
Derek: Roma, what the hell was that?!
Roma: The fourth bus.
Sean: Fourth bus? But you said there was three!
Roma: Ah, you're wrong my friend. I said there was about three. In total there was four. That one was parked by an apartment complex.
Derek: You monster.
Roma: Thank you for the compliment mr. Roticus. In any case my friends, I am not done having fun with you. This has been such a fun play date so far. Let's have some more fun, shall we?
Sean: Fun?! This is fun to you?!
Roma: Chaos and anarchy are what I live for my friends. Now. You are very close to Navy pier. That is good. I have a lot of friends waiting for you there. And another payphone. I will tell you what I have planned there. You should ask your friend for help. So long friends! *Hang up*
Derek: What do you think he meant by that?
?: Alright, I've heard enough of this.
Sean: Who's there?
?: Me. *A woman appears in front of them.* I work for the Australian government, my first name is Tess, and that is all you need to know. Your president requested my assistance.
Derek: The more the merrier. But before you can join us, how do you feel about freedom?
Tess: I fucking love freedom.
Derek: That's all we need to hear. Let's go!

*They run to navy pier, taking out terrorists disguised as everything from truck drivers to old women. They get to the entrance, and of course a payphone is there waiting for them, already ringing*

Roma: Ah, my friends. On time as always. Ah, I see I have a new playmate as well. Excellent. Shall we get started? This is actually very simple. Everyone in the park presently works for me. Yes, even the children. Some love me so much, they are willing to kill themselves with explosives for me. The game is simple. *Sudden change to cold anger* SURVIVE. *Hang up*
*The gates behind them close. A large crowd of people are walking towards our heroes. Boats in the distance are coming up as well, filled with people holding guns*

Tess: Well, shit. Shall we?
Sean: We shall!
Derek: CHARGE!

*Okay this fight scene is rather long and complicated. Let's sum it up. Derek throws a hot dog stand at one of the oncoming boats. Sean fires into the crowd heading towards them, Tess jumps in, doing all sorts of mad martial arts combined with swords and stuff. Derek finds more big objects to throw at the terrorists. The crowd of terrorists are gone after a long fight, and they all look relieved, but suddenly Derek looks worried*

Derek: KAMIKAZE CLOWNS!

*As Derek says this a crowd of clowns wearing bombs runs towards them. Sean shoots as many as he can, but there's still quite a few heading towards them.*
Derek: Aim for the bombs dammit! AIM FOR THE BOMBS!
Sean: Are you sure?!
Derek: YES DAMMIT NOW NOW NOW!
*He does so. There is a huge explosion, our three heroes are thrown backwards, but survive*

Sean: *Coughs* Well then. We did it. That was... I need to rest. This whole day has been nothing but nonstop action and thrills and fighting!
Derek: No rest. Not when freedom's at stake! We have to hurry!
Tess: C'mon Sean! Don't make freedom wait up!
Sean: I am surrounded by lunatics. *Sighs* Okay, let's go!

*They leave the park. The payphone from before is gone. Instead, there is a pay phone across the street. Of course it is ringing, the trio heads towards it*

Roma: Ah. You survived. Too bad. But this means our games continue!
Derek: No more games Roma, where are you?
Roma: Patience my crazed friend. One more game. If you win, we will meet face to face. The object? Make it to Sears tower, climb to the top. You will find me there. If you make it, we can begin the final game! Oh, and the ferris wheel should have detached by now. I would run if I were you! Hahahahaha! *Hang up*
Sean: Oh dear god. Run! RUN! RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!!!
*They run*
Derek: This is the most action packed day I've had in years! I feel great!
Sean: I feel quite sick!
Tess: Same old Same old for me!
*The ferris wheel crashes into a building side, narrowly missing the trio. They continue running to the sears tower, and terrorists have begun following them.*
Sean: Shit. Okay. I'm going to give the two of you semi automatic weapons. You need to use them.
Derek: I don't need guns. I ea-
Sean: Yeah yeah yeah yeah, you eat them for breakfast. I get it. JUST USE THE FUCKING GUN DAMMIT. We're going to hide behind the reception desk at sears tower. And fucking shoot them. We have no time for a testosterone poisoned patriot and a flippy kung fu lady right now. We need guns!
Derek and Tess: Fine!
*They make it to the sears tower reception desk, hide behind it, and shoot at the approaching terrorists. With all three using guns, the terrorists are taken out much quicker this time.*
Sean: Do you see how easy that was?!! From now on, keep those guns by you at all times. It makes things MUCH easier!
Derek: Until we get to the top. Then I stop using it.
Sean: THAT WOULD BE THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO USE IT!
Derek: No, I must best Roma in combat.
Sean: JUST SHOOT HIM DAMMIT! BANG BANG POW! WE WIN!
Derek: No, I must regain my honor.
Tess: Yeah, see his bitchin' scar? My guess is he wants to give Roma a similar one.
Derek: Right on. I have the tool I shall use with me here. Now! Let us climb to the top and face our destiny!

*They start climbing the stairs, shooting at oncoming terrorists. Waves of terrorists are taken out much faster with the new "FUCKING SHOOT THEM" plan. Eventually, they make it to the roof access, the door is blocked, but off to the side is yet another payphone ringing*

Derek: This is a very odd place to put a payphone. *He picks up the receiver*
Roma: Congratulations my friends! One game left! The object is to kill me and disarm the massive bomb I am guarding! HAHAHAHAHA! *Hang up*
Sean: Dayum. Let's go.
Derek: Here's your gun. *Hands him the gun. All I need is this ice pick. The very same one he used to scar me.
Tess: But it's so bitchin!
Derek: Bitchin' scar or not, I want my retribution.
*They enter the door. Derek is ahead. When Derek gets far enough, a cage is dropped around Sean and Tess.*
Derek: I figured this would happen. Wait here. I'll be back. I'm just gonna go kill him and stop the bomb. It'll take like, 2 seconds.
Tess: Oh, okay.
Sean: Why are you guys treating this like it's just everyday shit?!
Derek: For us, it IS everyday shit. You should join the national guard dude. You're not bad at protecting our freedom. I'll be back!

*Derek walks ahead. There is a giant bomb next to Roma, who is holding a large hunting knife, with elephants and tigers painted all over it. There are blood stains on the knife as well.*

Roma: Hello friend! We meet again!
Derek: The pleasures all mine, "Friend" *Shows the ice pick*
Roma: Ah, still mad at me for that eh? Well, maybe I wouldn't have to have hurt you if just didn't interfere in switzerland.
Derek: Somebody had to stop you.
Roma: And you did. In a way. I still managed quite a lot of destruction. And today. Even if I fail, Chicago is in ruins from all the destruction my employees and you and your friends have caused. This destruction will forever be remembered. Whether I'm stopped or not!

*Fight scene. This is the fight scene the crowd has been waiting for. Derek does get slashed a few times, but so does Roma. The bomb just ticks away while they battle. Roma manages to bring Derek to the floor. He holds the knife at Derek's head*

Roma: Such a shame, old friend. Any last words?
Derek: FUCK YOU! *He slashes Roma in the arm, giving him a wound very similar to the scar on Derek's arm. *
Roma: AAAAAAAAGH!
*Derek picks up Roma by the face, and drops him off Sears tower*
Derek: Now to take care of the bomb. *There is twenty seconds on the bombs clock*
Derek: Hmm. *He picks up the massive bomb, and throws it skyward. It explodes in the sky. People are cheering in the background*

*Derek walks back to the cage, and bends the bars, freeing Sean and Tess.*

Sean: Derek, you did it! You FUCKING DID IT! I'll be perfectly honest. I had my doubts, lots of doubts. But man, you did it.
Derek: All in a days work. *Derek sees the American flag on the rooftop, and salutes it* You're safe to wave another day!

*Scene change, an awards ceremony, President Anna is giving Sean, Derek, and Tess medals*

Derek: So Sean, are you going to change your identity, flee the country?
Sean: You know what? No. I'm going to take your advice and join the national guard. As much as that event was stressful, I also felt alive.
Derek: That is how it feels to protect our lady liberty!
Tess: Well, as for me, I have to head back to Australia, there's a national crisis, apparrently. It was fun working with you two, we should meet up again sometime!
Sean: Count on it!
Derek: Oh, Tess. Before you go, one more thing.
Tess: Yeah, Derek?
Derek: PIG! *Derek holds up his nose at Tess*
Tess: OH DAMMIT!

End credits