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deuxia-devonair — The Arrival - 1
Published: 2005-03-08 02:23:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 189; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 10
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Description Sand… the golden sand. I still remember when I first saw her, with that crimson river pouring out of her neck, with her silvery hair laying like tears coming out from her head… In that infinite field of gold, that spot of light caught my eye and bedazzled my senses. I could not stop watching her. And I did not.


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It was late, and the shift of the royal guards was changing. The best guards had to be there to protect the landlord’s most precious possession. This was not jewels, not lands, not war machineries, not treasures. This was a woman.

Rumors said that she was as fierce and untamable as the wildest horse, yet disturbingly attractive. It was said she was not like the rest of the people of the tribe, and no one could wait to see her. According to the tradition, the elder daughter was the one who transmitted the power to the next ruler, and the sons were merely the perpetuators of the blood-line. To keep her as pure as possible, she had to remain secluded and completely apart from the world until she reached the age of twelve, learning and training herself on the feminine duties of a true queen and also on the crude arts of war, normally associated with men. This was her 14th birthday, and she was coming back. This was going to be her official presentation.


There was it, at last, the golden chariot. It was simple, but covered with a red silk roof that made it look majestic. The two guards at the city gates saw it first. There were Imran and Elledan. Imran was a novice, it was his first day also, and he was no more than 20 years old. He was there as a punishment for being late for his archery practice. “Elledan – he asked- Do you think this is going to be an exciting day?” He was sweaty and notoriously unaware of what was happening. “Exciting? You bet.” The chariot stopped and the herald ordered those two to open the gates. Suddenly, Imran noticed that the curtains were moving. “Look!” – He whispered to Elledan with an urge. Suddenly, he saw those eyes. But what he saw didn’t look as eyes to him. Those small pearls, her yellow eyes made him lose his breath. He would not be able to forget them, never. He was frozen on the spot. Elledan commanded him to open the gate and even so he didn’t change his mesmerized expression. Elledan knew what was happening to him, and he asked. Imran could not abandon his amusement; he could only breathe and uttered a few loose words. “Fire… I saw the fire. I saw her fire.”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t see any fire!”
“White… Oh…so white.”
“What?”
“White… The Fire.”
“A white fire?”
“A white fire”
Elledan laughed out loud. “I want some of what you drank today!”
“White…. Fire.”
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Comments: 8

BookofChaos [2005-03-11 15:14:11 +0000 UTC]

Tres veces he tratado de comentar y siempre me pasa algo La tercera es la vencida!
El inicio me parece super interesante. Parece que la narración va desde el punto de vista de alguien que está recordando, y eso como que le da un aire nostálgico.

Me llegó, a ver si es cierto que subimos la segunda parte hoy

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deuxia-devonair In reply to BookofChaos [2005-03-11 20:24:27 +0000 UTC]

Jejeje... da colera cuando tratas de postear y no sale.

Despues te cuento quien esta recordando.

Y como ayer hubo un reverendo apagon... acabo de subir la segunda parte. A ver si la logras agarrar antes que nos veamos. Gracias por el comentario del inicio.. si le ves algo raro o alguna sugerencia, decime. After all, sos mi partner in crime tambien.

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Zhaana [2005-03-10 09:56:15 +0000 UTC]

Ohhh did you have OC deuxia ??? ^^

Good story the names and city reminds me LOTR , hihi , but d


yup azurenight , and frenchies tell also they HAVE ... and not they ARE.... i always thought that really strange and interesting to tell ARE lol

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deuxia-devonair In reply to Zhaana [2005-03-10 23:06:20 +0000 UTC]

OCs? I have lots of them, I think at least 15. The thing is, I rarely show them on Gaia. Maybe I'll start requesting art from them, hehehe..


I haven't corrected that! OMG! *gasp*

Thanks for commenting, dear!


PS: I'll try to upload the next today.

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Zhaana In reply to deuxia-devonair [2005-03-11 09:02:01 +0000 UTC]

Ohh great ^___^ Me I've 5 OCs (the principals characters) for the moment

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AzureN1ght [2005-03-08 14:40:23 +0000 UTC]

It's an intriguing story! You know what I find really interesting? The way in which you write--there are certain places where I can tell that you're not a native English speaker. It's only little places like 'he had no more than 20 years', meaning he was no more than 20 years old, but when you do things like age in Spanish, you say that you HAVE so many years, not that you ARE so many years. Now that I am studying Spanish I find things like those differences in language so interesting! By the by, I'm not picking on you at all! I like your writing style ^.~ Keep up the good work!

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deuxia-devonair In reply to AzureN1ght [2005-03-08 14:44:49 +0000 UTC]

Hehehe.. thanks for pointing it out, I'll change it as soon as I am at the office... n_n

I'm glad you like it so far. Stay tuned!

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AzureN1ght In reply to deuxia-devonair [2005-03-08 14:52:01 +0000 UTC]

I will! I'm intrigued!

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