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DeviantArtSecret — Secret. 13043
Published: 2013-05-01 09:47:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 7784; Favourites: 135; Downloads: 0
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Submitted by - DAS
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Comments: 70
agreed my dear, at least on the last bit. Society's definiton of beauty is horribly skewwed. I have a wonderfully curvy rump, but most fashion models do not. this is simply a fact of life, so I have to either buy "curvy" jeans or belts.
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The truth of the matter is that there isn't much you can do to get a perfect body, because "perfect" differs. Don't think about a number, or a look. If you're happy with what you see in the mirror, screw everyone else. 
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Maybe there is a place in your town like seta in Finland? You know, LGBT community. They can support you and listen, or at least that's how things are in here where I live. You don't need to be trans or homosexual, in there everyone's special. Or at least should be, here it works well.
I know how you feel, but I have a great therapist who has helped me a lot. Maybe if you could go to a different place so you would definitely have a different kind of therapist? (I had the kind of therapist that you had but luckily I got to go to the place where I go nowadays and there the workers are much nicer, so I hope that will happen to you, too, if that's what you need!)
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you could be genderqueer or genderfucked, trans is just an umbrella term. I'd say try a gender therapist if you have one in your area.
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never let "society" tell you what is right or wrong, you are good the way you are. If you feel comfortable, if you don't regret not being a part of that sick, twisted ideal - drop that ideal, and drop that society.
I don't mean this in an anarchist way, but build up your world with your own friends. create your own community with the minds you feel comfortable with
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Contact me if you want. I think I know how you feel. Though, I told my mom. She laughed it off, saying it was just being a teenager and all. And my parents don't think I need to see someone professional.
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Gender roles is what society likes to fit people into.
Girls have to have long hair, be pretty, wear make-up.
Guys have to be muscular, sex-driven and a bit rough around the edges.
But fuck society and fuck their gender roles.
If you fit into some or all of yours, great!
If you fit into all the opposite, also great!
If you fit into some here, and some there, that too is great!
But you don't have to try and mold yourself to fit those roles.
Honestly, just be as you are. Don't worry about the pressure of society because you can never win.
Anyway, it doesn't matter what society thinks of you. You have and will make friends that will love you as you are, and you'll love them as they are.
That's what counts.
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Someone finally said it, thanks a lot for such a great comment!
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Said what exactly? xD
Everyone has said exactly what I have, just in different words.
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The submitter said everything I feel. I hate the pressure of trying to be perfect, yet I can't stop trying. I hate my female body, but I'm not trans. I'm torn in so many different ways, but I can't really do anything.
I guess all I'm saying is that you are not alone <3
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*hug* 
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Honestly i used to feel exactally like that. But i love myself still.
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... This kind of sounds like something I could say..
The ideals of society changed over the years; A few hundred years ago woman who fit the nowadays "beauty" ideal would be considered as ugly. I honstly don't think you should destroy all Makeup but some people just use tons of it to look like a Barbie which I personally consider as ugly.
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stop caring about what pepole say, it makes life simpler.
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Hunny, Marilyn Monroe was a size 12. Society has impractical standards. Do you know why runway models are all 5'8"+ and size 0-2? So the clothes lay on them like they would on a hanger. No joke. It's a merchandising ploy. Take it from a model.
It doesn't matter if you fit into society's idea of beauty, so long as you KNOW you are beautiful. Look at some of the most famous women of the past, icons we consider the personification of beauty to this day. How many fit into society's standard of beauty back then? None. Marilyn Monroe was considered plain. Audrey Hepburn was as well. Elizabeth Taylor was considered unshapely. Betty Grable was considered pudgy. Bettie Page was considered homely. What are they now? Beautiful. They changed the definition of beauty. You can too.
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I was goin to talk to you, spill my heart and all that, then I saw all the comments, and thought, she doesn't need me, she'll be fine. You watch, you will be great.
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You need to find the right therapist for you. Different ones work with patients differently. As for society, don't worry about them. As long as your happy with you who cares what the media thinks. Besides it's slowly changing out of the skinny chicks with big boobs fad anyway.
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Society makes me want to be a hermit in the woods
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same here i perfer the company of my dogs over pepole enyday
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Watch the documentary: "America the Beautiful"
~
Look outside and see a tree, that tree is very beautiful, no?
Now, look at another tree. Do you find that tree beautiful?
Are you judging the second tree because it doesn't look like the first tree?
The trees don't care either.
The thing is, you're a tree. I'm a tree.
We have to love our trees.
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Bugger society. Just because you aren't a text book puppet of what media deems to be "normal" does not make you any less of a girl. I mean, damn I have pretty masculine tendencies for a girl and I used to let everyone else's opinions and views bring me down. But there's no point, because everyone that is shallow enough to only judge you on what's outside is never worth it. You have to block that out and ignore the opinions of others like that and dig out those gems to beauty that you've buried down deep inside yourself and show the world. Happiness can only be properly achieved if you are true to yourself. Even if you are trans or gender fluid or anything like that, it's nothing to feel abnormal about. You are never the only one. Everyone is beautiful, it is our differences that make us so. (If life drawing has taught me anything it is definitely that).
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I had a horrible shrink too once. That must be why I never went back. *shudder*
If you want to go and give society the middle finger, do. It's very liberating.
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I understand. I too used to feel uncomfortable being a girl, like I didn't belong. But then I grew up, became wise and educated myself about things in the world. I realized that it didn't matter what I looked like or how I acted to be able to make amazing friends or have amazing companionship with a loved one. In fact, it probably made the relationships I have with people even better because I am myself, I don't lie to myself or anyone, it's all about honesty. I dress exactly how I want to and that can range from me dressing really girly to wearing baggy guy clothes. I sometimes wear makeup, but most of the time I don't, because I don't want to. The things I buy and the things I'm interested in, I am because it's what interests _me_, and I'll never feel guilty of liking those things. I stumble a lot when I talk and mispronounce words often, but that's me and I think it makes me quirky and people laugh a lot (in a good way), so I'm alright with it. I don't have large breasts, but that doesn't matter, because they're still awesome!
So rather than trying to be a girl, boy, gay, straight, black or white person, why don't you just be yourself? Be a human. Do what makes you smile.
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The problem is that 'society' isn't a faceless mass, we are society. We dictate what is acceptable and 'in,' by what we watch, buy, and use. We choose comfort over hard work and then get angry when things aren't just given to us, or there's no easier solution at our feet. I am, in no way, the idea figure for a female of my age/height. I care, because I worry about my health the older I get, but I'm not going to blame societies standards on how I feel about myself. I do have triggers due to my own past problems, but those too are mine and mine alone--even if society does help at times to push me in those directions, it's because I allow 'it' to.
So if you're not happy with who you are, do something about it. And not everyone finds the right psychologist the first time around. I went to four psychologists before I found the one I liked the most, and without her I don't think I would have gotten through high school. I'm where I am because I forced myself to seek out other people to help me when the first few failed me. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I just think that if you have issues that you WANT help with (and it seems you do since you asked for help) then seeking out people who can actually help you would be best.
Good luck ST.
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
I'm tired of seeing everyone take the easy road by just throwing up their hands and blaming "society" for all their problems. It's an outdated excuse, really. People can only pressure you if you let them, and you're as much to blame for your own insecurities as some ambiguous entity called "society."
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I understand that 'not feeling right' feeling. I sometimes get that at times....
but in other ways I'm pretty happy being a woman - because, in some respects we're less pressured into societal rules than men. Now before you cry out loud 'that's not true', here a few examples: women can wear both skirts and trousers, we can go with or without make-up, long hair or short hair, high heels or no heels. All of these choices are denied to men... or at least they will be severely judged by society if they don't choose the norm. (except the hair, people are learning to deal with guys having long hair - now I just wish that the long-haired dudes would know how to take care of long hair properly, because most of them don't.. and then it just looks pretty gross)
Anyway, I drifted to something completely irrelevant, so back on topic: There are people who do understand you. And if you feel that it might help you to see a therapist/psychologist, then why not try it?
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Society is the fucked up one and even if you feel like your not a "woman" like in the magazines you being beautiful the way you are WITHOUT a ridiculos amount of cash to do it!! being natural is being yourself, beautiful ect!
Hope this helps!!!
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One psychologist isn't all psychologists. It's the silliest thing you could ever say or do to yourself.
Make your own standards. Depends on your age, I'm twenty now and it's only really been in the past year or two where I've felt 100% comfortable with doing anything I want. Namely because I know all the good shit about myself, both physically and not, and I'm content with just me knowing that, even though other people do too. Walk around every day in comfortable stuff, that isn't necessarily unflattering, but isn't meant for show. I decide when I want to show off and people know it when I do.
That, and I wouldn't say the way I act is overly girly/feminine too often. Got a guy who loves me for it and the above and a decent group of friends who respect that, so if anything, that's what you need. That and confidence in your own actions.
Trust me, there are a lot more people who are sick of "pressure" from the media and don't say anything than there are those who do.
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i whould love to help... but dont know who you are so i cant
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Look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are unique. You are special. You're yourself and you are AWESOME. Don't let what other people think, or the pressures of society, dictate how you feel about yourself. I guarantee if you look hard enough you'll find something, a feature or a personality trait, that you love about yourself. Embrace it.
I'm a large woman who has quite a lot of trouble losing weight no matter how well I eat or how much I exercise. But I have an incredible personality, a flair for fashion despite my size, and I have a lot of friends who love and respect me for that confidence and positive outlook. Society is always going to be unhappy with how you look, even if you were one of those 'picture perfect hotties' that it claims you need to be.
Embrace who you are, love who you are, and I guarantee you will be able to be happy regardless.
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you're mainly pissed at society. I am too.
I definatly think we need a reset button or some shit, because it's getting out of hand. and to be honest, i'm in the same position as you. Sometimes i don't want to be a girl...and sometimes i'm thankful that i'm not a guy. you know? I think everyone has those thoughts. It's normal
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Screw society. If you like being more boyish and not to society's standards then you're a girl who acts like a boy. I'm a girl, I eat all I want I still love getting dirty, climbing trees and wearing big sweaters that don't appeal my figure at all. I can be lazy and slobby if I choose and don't give a darn but I know when to have manners. Heck my own grandmother encourages me to burp! Don't feel pressured by society, just be you.
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"I want society to go fuck itself" 
Don't worry so much, cool people realize women and men come in all shapes and sizes and that everyone has their own unique beauty (:
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Do whatever you want to..... we get life only once..
so don't give a damn about others.... You deserve to be happy..
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You're right. What society sees as ideal is unhealthy for all of us. And it's mainly women and young girls who are exposed to that because thsoe that do not even come close to those Ideals usually don't come very far in life compared to someone who does. It's as if we need to change ourselves to look like that figure. It's all about appearances and looks. Society doesn't car about Inner Beauty. The only ones who care are poeple like us. Poeple who will probably stay anonymous (Don't know how to spell that, sorry.
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I can understand you. I don't have these feelings but girl ideas are sucks -.- Everybody is pretty in her/his body just have to look from different views. Just be yourself! Wear, eat and love what ever you want darlin!
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I know exactly how you feel. Just because I choose to dress and look a certain way, I have been labeled "unfeminine" by society. In the past, I've been bullied a LOT for it.
Sometimes I wish I was a guy just because then I wouldn't have to put up with all this B.S.
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Same here. Society just turned into a piece of shit, you just seem to can't get accepted if you really ARE just yourself. It's depressing, though, I won't bring myself away from being like I AM and I WANT.
Never give up you'll find persons who WILL accept you how you are. And those are real friends.
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Yes, I try to be myself despite the way society treats me. And, fortunately, I have friends who treat me the way I want to be treated. It's just disheartening to see people in the world treating others poorly because they don't fit into stereotypes.
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You're so not alone. I feel the same, I'm also not trans, but I guess I'd more satisfied if I was born as a man. But whatever, even as a girl, we don't have to be as society thinks we should, so don't care about it, try to accept yourself as you are, and do whatever you like. And yeah, the society can go and fuck itself. Women ideals suck, so don't ever feel you have to befit them.
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I'm a bit like this. Society thinks girls have to make themselves look pretty with make up, fancy clothes and all that crap. I actually hate make up and I seriously just throw anything on. You should keep your chin up and if you think it'd help to see a psychologist, then do it. I also understand, I have counselling and my therapist threats be like a 5 year old. I want to end it and find someone better. Last thing, even if you're not sure, you should talk to your parents. It might help more than you think
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Well, fuck society and them wanting our stomachs to be anorexic, but our boobs to be that of a chubby girl.
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