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deviantesse94 — Teenager
Published: 2010-04-15 08:27:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 408; Favourites: 15; Downloads: 2
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Description i was a teenager.
'contemplate'; a non-existent word
in my little dictionary
i don't 'contemplate'
i commit.

i was a teenager
whose blazing flames of youth
rebelled against others
bold, i was
but not anymore.

i was a teenager
who jerked his car
along the road of life
oh
        so
                  carelessly.

i am an adult
watching his life pass by
drowning in
the sea of regret

i was a teenager
who once was caught
in the trappings of youth.

i am an adult
longing for a r  e  s  e  t  button.
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Comments: 15

stuff7 [2010-04-19 01:15:55 +0000 UTC]

hotdamn.
this is awesome.
i love the way you used sort of "abnormal" spacing.

i give up on sounding smart..
it's good.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

deviantesse94 In reply to stuff7 [2010-04-19 14:26:13 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

stuff7 In reply to deviantesse94 [2010-05-02 02:58:55 +0000 UTC]

ofcourse.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Drackler [2010-04-18 03:48:56 +0000 UTC]

I found the way that you wrote "regret" and "reset" distracting. I had to break the flow of the poem in my head when I saw them because of the strange shape. I believe that you were trying to make them seem special or odd, but I think that it detracted more than it added.
I did, however, understand what you were trying to say with the poem.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

deviantesse94 In reply to Drackler [2010-04-18 03:57:47 +0000 UTC]

hmmm...I see. Thanks for pointing that out

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ashleyblooms [2010-04-18 00:33:13 +0000 UTC]



I liked it. I think it's simple and it's easy to relate to. Nice.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

deviantesse94 In reply to ashleyblooms [2010-04-18 02:23:06 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

vivitarose13 [2010-04-17 00:36:08 +0000 UTC]


The message got across, but the parts where the lettering and spacing is different doesn't really work for me.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

deviantesse94 In reply to vivitarose13 [2010-04-17 03:48:20 +0000 UTC]

Ah, I see

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Coleen18 [2010-04-16 20:48:51 +0000 UTC]

The message of this poem is certainly easy to get.
I liked the first verse. I think that,alone,has a great power and it states the most. The following verses sustain that and lead to the conclusion and the consequences.
It is a nice poem with deeper meanings for every single reader!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

deviantesse94 In reply to Coleen18 [2010-04-17 03:49:08 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

iimreadyiam [2010-04-16 20:47:01 +0000 UTC]

The message comes across perfectly clear. Also, it makes me want to rethink some of my recent decisions, apply them to the future, and figure out where I'm going so I don't end up drowning in that same sea.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

deviantesse94 In reply to iimreadyiam [2010-04-17 03:48:44 +0000 UTC]

Same here

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

xCha0tic1x [2010-04-16 01:09:48 +0000 UTC]

I really like it. I can't say I identify with the level of regret that appears to be based on an accident, but I do sometimes with I could "reboot" and have a decision to make again

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

deviantesse94 In reply to xCha0tic1x [2010-04-16 04:43:49 +0000 UTC]

We're on the same boat

👍: 0 ⏩: 0