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deviantesse94 — Tick, tock
Published: 2010-03-05 08:38:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 228; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 7
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Description
We are time bombsThe clock is ticking
Destruction
Is a few
Ticks away.
Was it something we did?
No
It was never us
It was always them.
Money, money, money
O' how they're infatuated
With money
They say,
"Money makes the world go round."
But what about us?
We provide them with oxygen
For them to breathe
For them to live
While they make
The money
That they have lust for.
Papers are from us
Stacks of cash
Are merely
Stacks of papers
They love money
But why not us, too?
We shed tears
As they say, "Cheers!"
Destruction
Celebration
Happening
At once.
Why isn't anyone
Voicing out
Protesting
Demurring
At all?
Why are they being
Indifferent
Uncaring
Unconcerned
About us?
Somebody please
Be our savior
We are time bombs
The clock is ticking
Destruction
Is just a
Tick away.
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Comments: 7
What I liked most about this was that it was fresh and original. Last year I had 3 exams at school on the theme of the environment, so normally I hate hearing about it because it's so overdone. But your new approach brought it to life.
A minor issue is that the trees themselves aren't time-bombs, but the message is the same: they're disappearing, and so will we. When I realized that the narrator was trees, it sort of made me wish that you'd kept the reader from completely realizing who was narrating until the end so it could be a twist, but it's your call. Anyway, very good poem!
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Thank you for your constructive comment! 
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No problem, it's my pleasure.
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:') afah tgh jiwang.
Im no writer but maybe mention more about the other stuff that contributes to deforestation. i mean, we dont just use trees for money bah. and im not sure if they process money on a daily basis? Or do they?
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i just mentioned money 'cause ppl love money so much. teeheee~
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Wow, very nice!!
I think that time bombs suitable for the phrase 'nature' or'Earth'. I got what it mean, but if you go further deeper of how hurt it is, this poem will invoke awareness of human being. hehehe
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