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Published: 2014-03-20 23:44:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 1131; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
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Andwele slept deep,Snug in his cloak and hammock,
Until the sun rose.
He slumped off his bed,
His zebra hide loincloth slipped
On, 'round his strong waist.
A shy near eighteen,
Andwele grew strong, healthy,
Adapt in Africa.
His gentle blue eyes,
Shines bright like a daytime's moon,
Matched his short brown hair.
Strong arms and long legs,
Growing as a zebra took
Many runs and time...
He loved runs on plains;
In the lush jungles, he taught
Himself to swing vines.
He learned from Baba,
As she told him all the truths,
Dangers of their land.
"Some will stop at none
To find their own food, they are
The fiercest creatures."
"Predators," he thought,
"Why do they wish to eat us?"
She lowered her head...
Baba did not tell
About his real mother's death,
Since both are happy.
Andwele smells food...
Baba cooked their small breakfast:
Flame-cooked vegetables.
Baba peeped, "Oh my!"
"Today, my dear Andwele,
His time to earn stripes."
Andwele stepped out
Into the small kitchen room
Where he sees his mom.
Baba holds a bowl
Mixing herbs and plants to make
Andy's body paint.
Andwele smiles,
As this was his favorite part
To be a zebra.
"Good morning, my son,"
Baba strokes her five fingers
Inside the herb bowl
"Good morning, mother,"
Andwele bends down on knees,
Closing his small eyes.
Baba walks over, "Son,
"Today is your day to See."
She strokes the black paint...
The cool black paint dries
As Baba silently cries
A small tear outside...
"You have grown so short!"
Was going on inside her,
"Ever since your birth!"
"I know I've taught well,"
Baba finishes painting
Andy's zebra soul.
Andy, covered with
White paint and black stripes, naked,
Heads outside his home.
Baba leads out,
In front of Andy's body,
To the "Rite Passage".
The tribe watched the two,
Each kneeling down to the Earth,
Whispers of prayers...
Baba stopped Andy.
She walks up to a stone "shrine";
Andy stood and watched.
Silent chants, drums beat,
"Andwele, please step forward,"
Baba's voice shouted.
Andy stepped up slow,
The sun shined in his blue eyes,
Almost blinding him.
"Brother Andwele,
"Your quest for your destiny
Starts today... Our son."
The tribe shouts with joy,
"Congratulations, good luck!"
"May the Spirit guide...!"
In her hand, a bag.
Made of soft cotton dried up
With a light brown tint.
The bag lowers down,
To the face of Andwele,
Whom peeks inside it.
A rope, herbs, potions,
Andy's paint, food, small dagger,
A small clay canteen.
Andy turned around,
Facing his people his loves
With a small smile...
"Thank you, everyone!"
Andy raises his striped arms,
"You've given so much...!"
"You each shared stories,
Lessons, and friends to be with.
And it's thanks to mom...!"
"Without her, I'll not,"
Baba listens to each word
Her human son said...
Pride from a mother.
Her years of teaching her son,
Stands before her eyes...
The crowd cheered louder
As Andy walked back to mom,
"Thank you," with a hug.
Baba hugged him, "Son,
"I know I can't come with you,
But just remember:
"No matter where, son,
You are never alone; We,
And God shall love you."
"Baba, my mother..."
Andy wept at her striped knees,
"I don't want to go...!"
Baba kneeled down, "Son,
I know you may not feel it,
But you are ready."
Baba rose Andy,
"I will always be with you,
And as well as we."
She motions her hands
All around the town's zebras
With friendly smiles.
Andy smiled too.
He knew his mother is right.
"Thank you, my baba..."
The two hugged again,
Though it may be the last one
From his horse mother.
He turned to the rest,
A hug from each member shared
To their Andwele.
"So long, everyone!
I promise I will return
And share my stories!"
And so, the crowd cheered;
Waves of good-byes from children,
Teens, adults, elders...
With his smile brighter,
Andy runs towards the plains
With his sack and cloth.
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Comments: 60
DeviantSponge45 In reply to ??? [2014-05-09 15:44:29 +0000 UTC]
Thanks! I'm working on the 2nd chapter as we speak.
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to demonlovers [2014-04-06 23:15:15 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much!Β
Do you think this is a good story so far?
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to demonlovers [2014-04-07 05:08:25 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! Do you think this is a story you could share it to some of your friends?
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to Sinaherib [2014-03-26 20:31:55 +0000 UTC]
Thank you!
And this isn't the end! It's just the beginning!
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Sinaherib In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-27 18:56:51 +0000 UTC]
Any time! That's great^^
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to Sinaherib [2014-03-30 20:44:42 +0000 UTC]
Thanks. I hope that the characters are as good as the story.
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to Sinaherib [2014-04-06 22:50:05 +0000 UTC]
So, how are you? And how is your art progressing these days?
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Sinaherib In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-04-07 17:05:41 +0000 UTC]
I'm fine Haven't been working on art as much as usual recently, but I have many art plans for the nearest future.
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to Sinaherib [2014-04-10 05:28:52 +0000 UTC]
Glad to hear!
(Are you planning to finish the solo nude arts of MLP? Maybe you could try drawing Zecora?)
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Sinaherib In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-04-10 18:53:24 +0000 UTC]
Sure, I will draw Twilight Sparkle next. After that - we will see, I'm sure I'll draw Princesses as well
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to Sinaherib [2014-04-10 19:16:26 +0000 UTC]
OKay. Good to hear...!
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-21 02:30:44 +0000 UTC]
You really think so...?
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guardianarchangel In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-21 02:44:28 +0000 UTC]
yeahΒ
I know so
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-21 05:02:44 +0000 UTC]
More ideas to draw the comic...?
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guardianarchangel In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-21 05:04:54 +0000 UTC]
still coming up with them
and still havent drawn the prologue im sorry
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-21 05:06:56 +0000 UTC]
That's okay. Like I said, I'm patient; take your time.
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-21 05:34:04 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome.
Which part of it was beautiful?
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guardianarchangel In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-21 06:25:22 +0000 UTC]
the prologue was beautiful
but it was sad
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-21 15:38:37 +0000 UTC]
I mean, which part of chapter 1 was your favorite part?
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guardianarchangel In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-21 16:47:02 +0000 UTC]
his coming of age
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-22 21:59:09 +0000 UTC]
The "ceremony" he goes to before jounreying out?
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-22 22:03:20 +0000 UTC]
Oh, okay.Β
I am thinking of introducing Jade in the next chapter or the next chapter after that... I don't know if this is a short story or not, but I want it a good story...
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guardianarchangel In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-22 22:29:04 +0000 UTC]
okay
take your time bro
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-22 22:47:44 +0000 UTC]
What do you think? Should I wait to introduce Jade in the next chapter or later?
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guardianarchangel In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-22 22:49:40 +0000 UTC]
You shoud introduce jade in the next chapter
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-22 22:56:19 +0000 UTC]
Well, I would like to know what Andy went through before meeting Jade. Is that okay?
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guardianarchangel In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-22 22:57:34 +0000 UTC]
sure
starting from childhood right?
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-22 23:06:36 +0000 UTC]
Maybe some childhood memories and how they're connected to what he's thinking and doing right now...
Yeah, a characters childhood is a good way of character development...
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guardianarchangel In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-22 23:10:53 +0000 UTC]
i was thinking the same thing
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-22 23:16:38 +0000 UTC]
About the idea of bringing childhood memories to the present or the fact that childhood memories are what shape the character?
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guardianarchangel In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-22 23:18:42 +0000 UTC]
bringing childhood memories to the present
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-22 23:33:18 +0000 UTC]
Oh, I see.Β
Like Andy starts a fire, but remembers what it was like to be fire... back when his zebra teachers taught him.
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guardianarchangel In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-23 00:01:10 +0000 UTC]
yeah something like that
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-23 00:49:45 +0000 UTC]
Or, I just had a thought, why do so many people in the tribe wear cloths.
I was thinking it could be a way of trusting someone... Like someone you know and love are allowed to see you without cloth...
Another memory I think Andy can recall is how and why is he different because "he doesn't have stripes"...
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guardianarchangel In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-23 00:53:26 +0000 UTC]
True
you can just paint stripes on Andy
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-23 01:02:45 +0000 UTC]
Hey! Maybe Baba, Andy's "mother figure" explains that zebras are born without stripes... (do they in real life?)
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guardianarchangel In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-23 01:20:43 +0000 UTC]
yeah some zebras
they have stripes in real life
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DeviantSponge45 In reply to guardianarchangel [2014-03-25 13:57:01 +0000 UTC]
I see that most of them are born with brown and white...
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guardianarchangel In reply to DeviantSponge45 [2014-03-25 17:12:08 +0000 UTC]
andi though their stripes are black and white
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