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Description
DDG (or DevilDantesGurl *a.k.a. Me*): Hiyas everyone! Welcome to my small
little studio in a land far far away. Tonight I will be talking with everybodies favorite demon slayer... Dante!

*Loud clapping in background, camera pans to Dante who sits in a chair across from DDG*

DDG: So Dante, I have to ask this. *grins* Do you like my name? Isn't it the best!?

DANTE: Not really.

DDG: Oh... okay then... well how do you feel being the star in a highly popular series like Devil May Cry?

DANTE: It's thrilling babe.

*camera pans back to DDG who looks frustrated*

DDG: Do you mind saying more than just one sentence that is two or three words long. This is an interview, you're suppose to comment in length to my questions.

DANTE: Your point being what?

DDG: *sigh* Well I got a four word answer... I guess that's a start.

DANTE: Would you get on with the questions doll, I have an appointment with a giant lava spewing spider.

*Camera again goes back to Dante who twirls his guns, Ebony and Ivory with smile on his face*

DDG: Uh, sure. Okay next question: when filming Devil May Cry how many times did you get impaled with anything sharp and pointed? I lost count during the game...

DANTE: Oh that. *laughs* Well let's see you only see me stabbed by Trish with my father's sword, Alastor, and Mundus (twice)... besides that it would be by the Shadows.

*On a big screen it shows a replay of the many times Dante gets impaled*

DDG: * starts crying watching the horrible sight*

DANTE: I'd have to say that with the many times we had to redo scenes it came out to 270 times, the opening was especially painful... Trish had a problem with stabbing me in the right place so we filmmed that over about 50 times. That got kind of repetitive.

DDG: Speaking of Trish. Do you like her? I mean you two seemed pretty close in the game, when she wasn't trying to kill you that is.

DANTE: Uh... Trish yeah she was a babe alright. But she had this thing against me, I don't know why... I mean if she was still angry over the time I stole her shirt and ran around with it through the studio, then I have no idea why she'd hate me.

DDG: .........

*play back of that day on set is shown on screen*

TRISH: DANTE SPARDA!!!!

DANTE: Damn! *runs off before Trish can catch him*

*Trish runs from her dressing room with nothing on her top... CENSORED*

TRISH: YOU BETTER RUN YOU WHITE HAIRED PANSY! IF I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I SWEAR I'LL DO MORE THAN STAB YOU!

*as she runs by the stage crew all stop what they were doing and their eyes follow her*

DDG: Um... yeah that could be the reason.

DANTE: After that it seemed there was always something going wrong during shots with her in them.

*another scene comes up on the screen, after Mundus is dead Dante and Trish run into each others arms*

TRISH: Dante... I... *before Dante can say his lines she knees him in the groin*

DANTE: Jesus!!!! *falls to the ground holding himself*

TRISH: Pay back is a bitch. *smiles sweetly and steps over him and goes to her trailer*

DANTE: Owww...

DDG: ...... I think you deserved that. Sorta. Buuuuut anyway... we need to go to commercial! Stay tuned people and we'll be right back after these messages!

*screen blacks out*

DDG: And we're back! Welcome to my show and for today we have the mysterously sexy demon slayer, Dante!

*crowd goes wild*

DANTE: Can't resist me... *chuckles*

DDG: Anyway... so Dante if you don't mind me asking, were there anymore complications with any other cast members?

DANTE: Nah, not really. Except for Vergil.

DDG: Vergil?

DANTE: My brother. The Dark Knight, Nelo Angelo... whatever.

DDG: Oh, that Vergil. So what is up with you two?

DANTE: Yeah Verg has this thing where he has to be better than me at everything. Come on now, it's not possible so I don't know why he tries.

DDG: Better than you like how?

DANTE: During the filming of the scene where we first fight he complained about my sword being bigger than his. Verg said he wouldn't do the shoot unless he got one that was bigger... I mean seriously... who cares!?

DDG: The Vergil fans.

*the fangirls scream and shout excited*

DANTE: They can kiss my ass! I'm the main character so I should get the bigger kick ass sword!!

*Fangirls start booing and throw soda cans at Dante*

DANTE: Whoa! *dodges a can* What the! *gets hit in the head* The hell! *a soda can smacks him in the chest and leaks on his coat*

DDG: But anyway! Let's introduce our special guest! Let's all welcome Nelo Angelo to the show! (or Vergil if you prefer)

*Vergil walks into the studio and the girls go wild. He has traded his bulky knight armor for a sexy and stylish black outfit, slightly similar to Dante's but without the coat. His pysical appearance is almost identical to Dante's being they are twins, but his hair is cut shorter and smoothed back neatly*

VERGIL: Thanks ladies! Thank you! *waving*

DDG: Welcome Vergil. Please take a seat next to Dante. *he does as told* Now about this sword business.

VERGIL: Oh my god! He's already telling lies about me to make me look bad!?

DANTE: What the hell are you talking about!? I don't need to do that, you do a fine job yourself!

VERGIL: *stands angry* You're such a cock sucking bastard! Why don't you just give it up and admit I am the better out of us!

DANTE: *also stands with a hand on the hilt of Alastor* Who's better!? Why don't I show you who's better!!

*the crowd starts to chant*

CROWD: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

DDG: Wrong show people.

VERGIL: *takes out big ass Nelo Angelo sword* You want to fight!? I'll beat the living demon out of you!
(haha, good joke huh? Dante's part demon, so get it?)

DDG: Before this gets too messy, let's go to commercial!!

*screen blacks out*

-------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMERCIAL MAN: Feeling low and down?

*stupid people nod and look bored*

COMMERCIAL MAN: Then try this new product from DDG Co.
*he whips out a small box*

COMMERCIAL MAN: Hyper Pills! *corny music plays in background* These are guarenteed to make you happy and energetic! If you do not get results in two or more days just call this toll free number and we'll refund your payment in full!

*number flashes on screen*

1-800-HYPER call now!

COMMERCIAL MAN: So stop waiting and call now!

*screen goes black*

DDG: Okaaay... we're back! Let me refresh your minds and inform you of who I have in the studio with me. *clears throat* Sitting next to me is the demon slayer from Devil May Cry a popular video game series, Dante!

*Dante fans cheer*

DDG: And sitting next to him is the mysterious Dark Knight, or Nelo Angelo. The one the only, Vergil!

*Vergil fans go crazy*

VERGIL: See? I have more fans than you.

DANTE: Oh please... that's not even possible. Who is the main hot guy in the game? Moi. There is no competetion.

DDG: *cough* And now to bring out yet another special guest! Everyone give a warm welcome to Cloud Stife!!!!

*Cloud walks out wearing his new outfit from the upcoming FF7: Advent Children movie and sits in a chair on the other side of DDG. Dante and Vergil glare at him evilly. All the girls in the crowd are flipping out and trying to get on the stage*

CLOUD: Hey DDG thanks for inviting me today. It was short notice but Cid lent me the Highwind and I got here in a cinch!

DDG: It's a pleasure having a movie star in the studio. Considering you are staring in a new FF7 movie are you not?

CLOUD: Yeah that. It's a big contrivercy all over the net right now it's hard to get any facts straight... in fact... I don't know what it's all about myself and I'm in it.

DANTE: Is there a point to having him on here? He's not even in my game.

VERGIL: Ohhh... so it's your game now! I see how it is. You game hog!

*camera pans back and forth between the two brothers as they glare at each other*

DDG: Would you two act your friggin age!! Geeze... I feel like I have little kids in my studio.

CLOUD: *tries hard not to laugh at Dante and Vergil...*

DANTE: Yeah you better not laugh spike head!

CLOUD: Who the hell do you think you are? Only people who can call me that are Barret and Cid. So piss off.

DANTE: EXCUSE ME!? You're telling ME to piss off? Are you out of your friggin mind!? *takes out his guns*

DDG: *rolls eyes and sighs heavily* My goodness... *waves at guards who are standing on the sidelines of the stage* Please lead Dante out of the studio and show him to the door. Thank you!

*guards go over to Dante and grab him. They drag him screaming and kicking off stage*

DANTE: I'LL BE BACK!!!! I SWEAR I'LL BE BACK ON THIS SHOW!!!! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF MEEEEE! *yells* LET ME GO OR YOU'LL FACE THE WRATH OF THE DEMON WORLD!!!!

*everything is silent as the door is opened and you hear Dante thrown out the door and land on the ground with a hard thump. A loud and angry string of swears issue*

DDG: Anyway... now that it is a little more peaceful in here, let us continue.

VERGIL: *evil grin* Oh yes... oh very nice... hehehe...

DDG: So Cloud how does it feel to be a movie star? Any more fan letters than usual?

CLOUD: There are tons of them everyday! I can barely walk through the house, and Tifa is getting a little tipped off that I keep only the ones from the girls. Why would she be jelous of them anyway? She is the most beautiful woman I've ever met so there is no worry

*crowd goes "awww..."*

DDG: Speaking of Tifa. How are you guys doing? Married yet? Any kids? How many? What are their names?

CLOUD: Uhh... well we are married.

DDG: Really!? How sweet!

VERGIL: Kids are great. I was thinking about asking Trish if she'd marry me... but I don't know if that's such a good idea. Well it'd be neat to have kids with her, man just thinking about the sex is making me want to have 'em!

DDG: Wow... okay then... so Cloud you were saying?

CLOUD: Tifa has popped the question of having kids before and it was kinda nerv recking... but hopefully I'll get past it and soon we'll have a Stife clan!

VERGIL: I should call her right now and ask! Trish? Will you marry me? Hey, how did that sound?

*crowd all roll their eyes*

DDG: *ignoring Vergil* If you had any boys what do think the name would be? Same question but if it were a girl after that.

CLOUD: A boy? Umm... I always liked the name Sky. Sky, yep sounds good. Sky Strife...

DDG: Original...

CLOUD: A girl? Well... maybe Wind? Wind Strife! I think it sounds pretty.

VERGIL: Maybe I should try and sound more sexy when I say it? Hey Trish. Wanna get married and get laid? Whoo... that sounds better!

DDG: Okay time for another short break and we'll be right back!

*screen goes black*

-------------------------------

*white background appears on screen and Dante walks out with a mic in his hand*

DANTE: This is a special announcement. *clears throat* I'M GONNA HUNT DOWN YOU STUPID SONS OF *censored* AND CUT YOUR *censored* THROATS OUT!

*a man comes onto the screen and looks a bit scared*

MAN: Umm... Sir? Who are you and why are you using our studio?

DANTE: WOULD YOU BUZZ OFF *censored*!!!! I'M TRYING TO THREATEN PEOPLE HERE!!!!

MAN: Eeeep! *runs off*

DANTE: AND AS FOR YOU DDG!! YOU BETTER RUN AND HIDE BEFORE I FIND YOU ALL ALONE AND RIP OUT YOUR *censored* HEART!!

*suddenly police swarm onto the screen and grab Dante*

POLICE MAN #1: Sir you are underarrest. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law.

DANTE: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!? LET GO OF ME! *police man cuffs his hands* WOULD YOU SCRAM! I'M TRYING TO THREATEN SOMEBODY GOD*censored*!!!!

POLICE MAN #2: *to another police man* What a wacko...

*the police drag Dante off screen as he screams and swears all the way to the police car*

*screen goes black*

Description
DDG (or DevilDantesGurl *a.k.a. Me*): Hiyas everyone! Welcome to my small
little studio in a land far far away. Tonight I will be talking with everybodies favorite demon slayer... Dante!

*Loud clapping in background, camera pans to Dante who sits in a chair across from DDG*

DDG: So Dante, I have to ask this. *grins* Do you like my name? Isn't it the best!?

DANTE: Not really.

DDG: Oh... okay then... well how do you feel being the star in a highly popular series like Devil May Cry?

DANTE: It's thrilling babe.

*camera pans back to DDG who looks frustrated*

DDG: Do you mind saying more than just one sentence that is two or three words long. This is an interview, you're suppose to comment in length to my questions.

DANTE: Your point being what?

DDG: *sigh* Well I got a four word answer... I guess that's a start.

DANTE: Would you get on with the questions doll, I have an appointment with a giant lava spewing spider.

*Camera again goes back to Dante who twirls his guns, Ebony and Ivory with smile on his face*

DDG: Uh, sure. Okay next question: when filming Devil May Cry how many times did you get impaled with anything sharp and pointed? I lost count during the game...

DANTE: Oh that. *laughs* Well let's see you only see me stabbed by Trish with my father's sword, Alastor, and Mundus (twice)... besides that it would be by the Shadows.

*On a big screen it shows a replay of the many times Dante gets impaled*

DDG: * starts crying watching the horrible sight*

DANTE: I'd have to say that with the many times we had to redo scenes it came out to 270 times, the opening was especially painful... Trish had a problem with stabbing me in the right place so we filmmed that over about 50 times. That got kind of repetitive.

DDG: Speaking of Trish. Do you like her? I mean you two seemed pretty close in the game, when she wasn't trying to kill you that is.

DANTE: Uh... Trish yeah she was a babe alright. But she had this thing against me, I don't know why... I mean if she was still angry over the time I stole her shirt and ran around with it through the studio, then I have no idea why she'd hate me.

DDG: .........

*play back of that day on set is shown on screen*

TRISH: DANTE SPARDA!!!!

DANTE: Damn! *runs off before Trish can catch him*

*Trish runs from her dressing room with nothing on her top... CENSORED*

TRISH: YOU BETTER RUN YOU WHITE HAIRED PANSY! IF I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I SWEAR I'LL DO MORE THAN STAB YOU!

*as she runs by the stage crew all stop what they were doing and their eyes follow her*

DDG: Um... yeah that could be the reason.

DANTE: After that it seemed there was always something going wrong during shots with her in them.

*another scene comes up on the screen, after Mundus is dead Dante and Trish run into each others arms*

TRISH: Dante... I... *before Dante can say his lines she knees him in the groin*

DANTE: Jesus!!!! *falls to the ground holding himself*

TRISH: Pay back is a bitch. *smiles sweetly and steps over him and goes to her trailer*

DANTE: Owww...

DDG: ...... I think you deserved that. Sorta. Buuuuut anyway... we need to go to commercial! Stay tuned people and we'll be right back after these messages!

*screen blacks out*

DDG: And we're back! Welcome to my show and for today we have the mysterously sexy demon slayer, Dante!

*crowd goes wild*

DANTE: Can't resist me... *chuckles*

DDG: Anyway... so Dante if you don't mind me asking, were there anymore complications with any other cast members?

DANTE: Nah, not really. Except for Vergil.

DDG: Vergil?

DANTE: My brother. The Dark Knight, Nelo Angelo... whatever.

DDG: Oh, that Vergil. So what is up with you two?

DANTE: Yeah Verg has this thing where he has to be better than me at everything. Come on now, it's not possible so I don't know why he tries.

DDG: Better than you like how?

DANTE: During the filming of the scene where we first fight he complained about my sword being bigger than his. Verg said he wouldn't do the shoot unless he got one that was bigger... I mean seriously... who cares!?

DDG: The Vergil fans.

*the fangirls scream and shout excited*

DANTE: They can kiss my ass! I'm the main character so I should get the bigger kick ass sword!!

*Fangirls start booing and throw soda cans at Dante*

DANTE: Whoa! *dodges a can* What the! *gets hit in the head* The hell! *a soda can smacks him in the chest and leaks on his coat*

DDG: But anyway! Let's introduce our special guest! Let's all welcome Nelo Angelo to the show! (or Vergil if you prefer)

*Vergil walks into the studio and the girls go wild. He has traded his bulky knight armor for a sexy and stylish black outfit, slightly similar to Dante's but without the coat. His pysical appearance is almost identical to Dante's being they are twins, but his hair is cut shorter and smoothed back neatly*

VERGIL: Thanks ladies! Thank you! *waving*

DDG: Welcome Vergil. Please take a seat next to Dante. *he does as told* Now about this sword business.

VERGIL: Oh my god! He's already telling lies about me to make me look bad!?

DANTE: What the hell are you talking about!? I don't need to do that, you do a fine job yourself!

VERGIL: *stands angry* You're such a cock sucking bastard! Why don't you just give it up and admit I am the better out of us!

DANTE: *also stands with a hand on the hilt of Alastor* Who's better!? Why don't I show you who's better!!

*the crowd starts to chant*

CROWD: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

DDG: Wrong show people.

VERGIL: *takes out big ass Nelo Angelo sword* You want to fight!? I'll beat the living demon out of you!
(haha, good joke huh? Dante's part demon, so get it?)

DDG: Before this gets too messy, let's go to commercial!!

*screen blacks out*

-------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMERCIAL MAN: Feeling low and down?

*stupid people nod and look bored*

COMMERCIAL MAN: Then try this new product from DDG Co.
*he whips out a small box*

COMMERCIAL MAN: Hyper Pills! *corny music plays in background* These are guarenteed to make you happy and energetic! If you do not get results in two or more days just call this toll free number and we'll refund your payment in full!

*number flashes on screen*

1-800-HYPER call now!

COMMERCIAL MAN: So stop waiting and call now!

*screen goes black*

DDG: Okaaay... we're back! Let me refresh your minds and inform you of who I have in the studio with me. *clears throat* Sitting next to me is the demon slayer from Devil May Cry a popular video game series, Dante!

*Dante fans cheer*

DDG: And sitting next to him is the mysterious Dark Knight, or Nelo Angelo. The one the only, Vergil!

*Vergil fans go crazy*

VERGIL: See? I have more fans than you.

DANTE: Oh please... that's not even possible. Who is the main hot guy in the game? Moi. There is no competetion.

DDG: *cough* And now to bring out yet another special guest! Everyone give a warm welcome to Cloud Stife!!!!

*Cloud walks out wearing his new outfit from the upcoming FF7: Advent Children movie and sits in a chair on the other side of DDG. Dante and Vergil glare at him evilly. All the girls in the crowd are flipping out and trying to get on the stage*

CLOUD: Hey DDG thanks for inviting me today. It was short notice but Cid lent me the Highwind and I got here in a cinch!

DDG: It's a pleasure having a movie star in the studio. Considering you are staring in a new FF7 movie are you not?

CLOUD: Yeah that. It's a big contrivercy all over the net right now it's hard to get any facts straight... in fact... I don't know what it's all about myself and I'm in it.

DANTE: Is there a point to having him on here? He's not even in my game.

VERGIL: Ohhh... so it's your game now! I see how it is. You game hog!

*camera pans back and forth between the two brothers as they glare at each other*

DDG: Would you two act your friggin age!! Geeze... I feel like I have little kids in my studio.

CLOUD: *tries hard not to laugh at Dante and Vergil...*

DANTE: Yeah you better not laugh spike head!

CLOUD: Who the hell do you think you are? Only people who can call me that are Barret and Cid. So piss off.

DANTE: EXCUSE ME!? You're telling ME to piss off? Are you out of your friggin mind!? *takes out his guns*

DDG: *rolls eyes and sighs heavily* My goodness... *waves at guards who are standing on the sidelines of the stage* Please lead Dante out of the studio and show him to the door. Thank you!

*guards go over to Dante and grab him. They drag him screaming and kicking off stage*

DANTE: I'LL BE BACK!!!! I SWEAR I'LL BE BACK ON THIS SHOW!!!! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF MEEEEE! *yells* LET ME GO OR YOU'LL FACE THE WRATH OF THE DEMON WORLD!!!!

*everything is silent as the door is opened and you hear Dante thrown out the door and land on the ground with a hard thump. A loud and angry string of swears issue*

DDG: Anyway... now that it is a little more peaceful in here, let us continue.

VERGIL: *evil grin* Oh yes... oh very nice... hehehe...

DDG: So Cloud how does it feel to be a movie star? Any more fan letters than usual?

CLOUD: There are tons of them everyday! I can barely walk through the house, and Tifa is getting a little tipped off that I keep only the ones from the girls. Why would she be jelous of them anyway? She is the most beautiful woman I've ever met so there is no worry

*crowd goes "awww..."*

DDG: Speaking of Tifa. How are you guys doing? Married yet? Any kids? How many? What are their names?

CLOUD: Uhh... well we are married.

DDG: Really!? How sweet!

VERGIL: Kids are great. I was thinking about asking Trish if she'd marry me... but I don't know if that's such a good idea. Well it'd be neat to have kids with her, man just thinking about the sex is making me want to have 'em!

DDG: Wow... okay then... so Cloud you were saying?

CLOUD: Tifa has popped the question of having kids before and it was kinda nerv recking... but hopefully I'll get past it and soon we'll have a Stife clan!

VERGIL: I should call her right now and ask! Trish? Will you marry me? Hey, how did that sound?

*crowd all roll their eyes*

DDG: *ignoring Vergil* If you had any boys what do think the name would be? Same question but if it were a girl after that.

CLOUD: A boy? Umm... I always liked the name Sky. Sky, yep sounds good. Sky Strife...

DDG: Original...

CLOUD: A girl? Well... maybe Wind? Wind Strife! I think it sounds pretty.

VERGIL: Maybe I should try and sound more sexy when I say it? Hey Trish. Wanna get married and get laid? Whoo... that sounds better!

DDG: Okay time for another short break and we'll be right back!

*screen goes black*

-------------------------------

*white background appears on screen and Dante walks out with a mic in his hand*

DANTE: This is a special announcement. *clears throat* I'M GONNA HUNT DOWN YOU STUPID SONS OF *censored* AND CUT YOUR *censored* THROATS OUT!

*a man comes onto the screen and looks a bit scared*

MAN: Umm... Sir? Who are you and why are you using our studio?

DANTE: WOULD YOU BUZZ OFF *censored*!!!! I'M TRYING TO THREATEN PEOPLE HERE!!!!

MAN: Eeeep! *runs off*

DANTE: AND AS FOR YOU DDG!! YOU BETTER RUN AND HIDE BEFORE I FIND YOU ALL ALONE AND RIP OUT YOUR *censored* HEART!!

*suddenly police swarm onto the screen and grab Dante*

POLICE MAN #1: Sir you are underarrest. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law.

DANTE: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!? LET GO OF ME! *police man cuffs his hands* WOULD YOU SCRAM! I'M TRYING TO THREATEN SOMEBODY GOD*censored*!!!!

POLICE MAN #2: *to another police man* What a wacko...

*the police drag Dante off screen as he screams and swears all the way to the police car*

*screen goes black*