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Dibsthe1 — IZ:What Version Did You Get? 2

Published: 2007-03-12 06:11:58 +0000 UTC; Views: 3327; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 56
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Description WVDYG #2: THE z@DDER VERSION

Just in case somebody's going to ask, z@dder stands for:

Zim and Dib don't even relent
Zim and Dib don't exactly rapport
Zim and Dib don't erotically respond

Out of concern for your well-being and that of your computer, this DVD cover has been blacked out.

Initially a mutation confined to a few isolated individuals who deliberately took nonconformity for its own sake to extraordinary degrees, it has by now infiltrated the entire fandom to such a degree that only the strongest minds are capable of resisting it.

Its teratogenic properties (ability to fuck shit completely up) and its rapid spread among the fanbase (like shit through a tin whistle) strongly suggest that z@dder is a virus. Unlike a virus, however, its effects on a computer are, thankfully, only temporary.

Undoubtedly, z@dder does horrendous things to computers; the monitor of any computer abused into displaying it presents indescribably scrambled images ranging from the merely bizarrely impossible to the completely impossibly bizarre. Fortunately however, this effect lasts for only exactly as long as the z@dder is displayed.

Among the operators of said computers, unfortunately, the effects of viewing z@dder are not quite as temporary. One side of the spectrum of possible reactions ranges from bafflement accompanied by nausea to extreme bafflement accompanied by profound nausea. The other cluster of reactions ranges from total apathy to the sort of delusional euphoria that would also result from ingesting massive doses of hallucinogens combined with injecting near lethal doses of narcotics before floating into the television to watch Barney.

The z@dder version actually originated as an exceptionally sick joke to assist in coping with the unrelenting job-related stress endured by the Invader Zim artists, none of whom had gotten laid since N!ck approached Jhonen Vasquez (THE Jhonen Vasquez, you know, of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac fame? THAT Jhonen Vasquez) to request a cheery, light-hearted kiddie show it could aim at 2 to 11 year olds.

Well. The revisions ordered endlessly by the network (over and above the revisions which animation and layout directors already order endlessly even when a show is NOT in any way controversial BELIEVE ME!!) did nothing whatsoever for their sex lives. With time constraints forbidding them to write a script or draw a storyboard for this additional clandestine version, a scene here and there was worked on furtively and haphazardly by every increasingly frustrated (in EVERY way) member of the crew, so that the resulting DVD emerged with no unity, no plot, no coherence, no sense, no logic and certainly no relevance to anything in the universe whatsoever.

Today everybody who ever had anything whatsoever to do with the production of this version is confined to a locked psychiatric ward babbling endlessly to all who will listen as well as to many who won't that everybody in the CIA is passionately in love with somebody in Al Qaeda and vice versa, every Blood is madly in love with one of the Crips and vice versa, and the Jews and the Arabs aren't fighting over the Middle East at all but are actually holding frenzied mass orgies all over it every night instead. When anyone dares to suggest otherwise, they exhibit an extremely low tolerance for disagreement, indignantly calling them names ranging from "Homophobe!" to, to well... "Homophobe!"

Making them even more unlikely to be let out any time soon is their marked tendency to become instantly and uncontrollably aroused at the sight (or even the mention) of anything that has ever been seen (or even mentioned) with something else more than once (salt and pepper shakers, meat and potatoes, hammers and nails, snakes and ladders, North and South Dakota... )

If, as some believe, the fans of z@dder are heading for an identical fate, it is going to be interesting to watch for any early signs that this is happening.
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Comments: 65

Dibsthe1 In reply to ??? [2007-03-12 17:44:05 +0000 UTC]

I hope everyone's aware I never for a second dreamed of using anything else BUT a black cover?

They want/expect/hope the saturation bombing to wear down our resistance, and it actually does get the desired result in some cases. In the rest of the cases, namely ours, it just skips past acceptance and goes straight to a jaded, weary disgust.

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

Dibsthe1 In reply to Dibsthe1 [2007-03-12 22:38:55 +0000 UTC]

Yes, I do believe so. (Digs deeper into bunker with the last of the diehard IZ Classic fans and prepares for a long seige. )

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

invader-mandy In reply to Dibsthe1 [2007-03-12 22:22:30 +0000 UTC]

The day you actually draw a real zadr will propably mark the day when zadr takes over the world completely

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

nightmarekitty [2007-03-12 16:28:55 +0000 UTC]

I lol'd my pants at the description. And thank god it was blacked out. @@ I made the mistake of searching "Invader Zim" on DeviantArt over the weekend, and I found quite a few scary things that I hadn't (unfortunately) seen before. D;

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Dibsthe1 In reply to nightmarekitty [2007-03-12 17:31:10 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! I don't set out to write Humor often... but when I do I make damn sure to have a rollicking good time with it! The blackout is especially appropriate because writing this got me to laughing so hard I was in danger of blacking out!

Geez, really. I hear ya on that. We can't run a search on Dib or Zim without running the risk of having our eyesockets raped by rusty chainsaws. "If you don't like it don't look at it... bla bla bla." That's like strewing garbage and litter everywhere and then looking all innocent and saying, "Like, totally don't look at it or something."

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nightmarekitty In reply to Dibsthe1 [2007-03-12 17:38:44 +0000 UTC]

You did a good job with it.... There was much rofling on my part. Yay for satire.

Unfortunately it is the case.... The only thing worse than Dib getting hurt and ZADR with the two separated are them together.... which I've sadly run into quite a few times. D; I saw one a few nights ago that made me quite sad indeed. Seriously, the "don't like, don't look" thing would be applicable only if you didn't CONSTANTLY run into this shite whenever you went looking for Invader Zim stuff.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Dibsthe1 In reply to nightmarekitty [2007-03-12 19:03:28 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! I always did enjoy satire, but it's gotta come from the heart. If you don't love what you're making fun of, you've got to at least love making fun OF it!

Yeah, it's lying all around here in great, stinking piles. Try not to step in the z@ddershit.

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

Dibsthe1 In reply to Dibsthe1 [2007-03-12 21:03:37 +0000 UTC]

Yep! Everything that's in art, gotta come from the heart!

And no. I've been calling it that for some time now, so we may as well use it on the warning signs!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

nightmarekitty In reply to Dibsthe1 [2007-03-12 20:18:42 +0000 UTC]

Makes a lot of sense. Tis a good quote to go by.

Am I immature for laughing at that last bit?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

HideousBlob [2007-03-12 13:04:44 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, thanks for blacking it out. >.<

Drugs + Barney FTW.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Dibsthe1 In reply to HideousBlob [2007-03-12 17:13:54 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome! I hope you all realize I'd never inflict something like that on you.

That was one of the things I kept tinkering with up until moments before I posted it. Obsessive perfectionism sometimes really pays off!

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

Dibsthe1 In reply to Dibsthe1 [2007-03-12 17:51:23 +0000 UTC]

Because the name of tHAT Dib-hating studio is an obscenity... even more of an obscenity than the word I DO have behind the gunsight.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

HideousBlob In reply to Dibsthe1 [2007-03-12 17:15:59 +0000 UTC]

..Incidentally, why do you spell Nick N!ck?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Dibsthe1 [2007-03-12 06:16:26 +0000 UTC]

Anything for a TRUE fan of IZ.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

JoyWillCome In reply to ??? [2007-03-12 06:15:21 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much for blacking it out, for if you wouldn't have my eyes would have surley melted.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0


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