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DimeSpin — Master of Awkward
Published: 2011-08-20 15:57:08 +0000 UTC; Views: 1514; Favourites: 22; Downloads: 23
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Fact: Hyssop started sitting over there with Trip because it was even more pathetic when he was sitting at the adjacent table alone, staring at them like a creep.Drawn with the GIMP
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Comments: 10
Truly awkward people aren't the people who create awkward situations; they're the ones who feel awkward about themselves consciously.
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That's a strange definition. Why would the word 'awkward' apply more to those who are self-conscious as opposed to those without social grace or other kinds of grace as the word generally means? Or more so, those who are self-conscious but still can not stop themselves from causing awkward situations, because they don't understand what makes these things happen?
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The path of un-self conscious obliviousness and the path of not having 'social graces' are two mostly different paths. You just have to be an awkward person yourself to understand.
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Well that's poor sport of you to pull a "you can never understand!" on me, and all because I don't buy your super-narrow definition.
I am not saying your awkwardness is invalid, I am asking why the awkwardness of others is invalid, considering the common usage I know and the dictionary definition don't support brushing them off the word like dirt. Do you not like the idea that when you fall, and when someone with different internal issues falls for different reasons, it's called the same thing?
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Well this is how I see it, anyone can say anything to anyone, no matter how clumsy or inappropriate it is, but you can still brush it off, smile and genuinely not feel uncomfortable about it, IF you are relaxed and forgiving enough.
In other words, no amount of awkward situations could make you feel awkward unless you let them. Therefore, if they DO make you feel uncomfortable, it's you who's the awkward one. The awkwardness started from you.
I could elaborate much further, go through a bunch of real-life and made-up examples, and compare it to other emotions like fear or anger, but I think that might come off as condescending and insulting. So unless you still don't quite know what I mean, I'll stop there.
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Okay, I get where you're coming from now. I don't agree though.
This reminds me greatly of something a friend of mine used to like to do. She'd put her finger near someone's eye then chide them for blinking, "I'm not touching you, why are you blinking?"
We act in all situations on the information we have as we understand that information. We can't act against our own understanding, that's folly. I think it's ridiculous to expect people not to react to what a person says and does, it's like if I told you you're a fool for thinking this was a comic and not, say, a drawing of a stack of pancakes. Why'd you comment about awkwardness on my drawing of a stack of pancakes?
Probably because I drew a comic about awkwardness, and you reacted within your understanding with the information I gave you, and expecting you to compliment my ability to draw maple syrup is beyond what I can expect within this context.
We give and we take. We are not totally at the mercy of others, but we are also not isolated in a vacuum. We put out our best good faith effort to communicate, and understand that others will interpret what we say and do, and they put in their best good faith effort to understand us, and understand that they may have misinterpreted. That's the best scenario. People ain't perfect, so it doesn't always come out that way, but the best we can do is understand that social situations are collaborative. That is my understanding.
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That is a totally valid argument against my last post... but it then made me realize; my last post wasn't really putting it right. I believe it all comes back to the same thing; you just have to be an awkward person to understand.
BUT, I will try as best as I can to explain.
I am, for the most part, an awkward person who makes for awkward conversation. Mostly brought on by lame jokes. I'm aware of it; every time I make people feel uncomfortable, I know it. But that doesn't help me too much; I'm still cursed with always wanting to talk to people, constantly. My best chance is to try as hard as I can to keep quiet and then just get lucky.
A friend of mine, however, is very much like me. She can go on about nerdy topics almost as long as me, and has way more strange, quirky attributes to her personality. The big difference, however, is that she's not aware of it, or maybe just doesn't care. "I guess I don't really think about what other people think of me" she once told me.
As crazy as it sounds, this makes her really easy and relaxed to talk to. You can say anything to her, and even if she finds something uncomfortable, she'll just shrug it off and forget immediately. We've even had some 'relationship' tensions a few times, and it simply does not penetrate her; we went right back to talking about Mario like it was nothing.
Now do you get what I mean? ...holy crap, I think I finally get what I mean. This whole 'unawareness = nonawkwardness' works because the other person in the conversation is so oblivious, there's no judgement or held back emotions. BUT, that only really in a conversation of two people! If you're at a table full of people--like in the nicely drawn comic here--that's when it would cause a problem, unless everyone at the table was like that.
Maybe most of my friends, I've mostly ever interacted with one-on-one. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, right?
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Sorry I took a while to respond back - but yes, that does make a lot of sense. Me and my mother have a similar dynamic of being able to say almost anything to each other, because she forgets things and I don't hold her nature against her. And yeah, it does become a bit of a different animal in groups, since it becomes an interaction between the individuals involved and the group identity.
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Awww , poor thing . Gives poor Trip a big inappropriate hug .
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