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Description
FFVII
The Power of Jenova

Genre: Action/ Adventure/ Emotive themes
Setting: 3 years after DoC
Rating: M
Status: WIP
OCs: 25%
Disclaimer: All related Final Fantasy VII names and characters are copyrighted © by Square Enix. However, this story and the OCs are mine. Thank you.

THE POWER OF JENOVA

Tifa rolled on a gentle current, suspended in a weightless sea. She opened her eyes to a multihued green haze. The life-stream? Was I dead? The sense of weightlessness was a relief and she floated for some time, abandoning her conscious thought and reason to be replaced with a peaceful lull. She soon began wondering why she was in the life-stream, but her mind could not concentrate long enough to consider an answer. Aside from not knowing why she was there, it was calm and a euphoric feeling was building in her body.

After some time of drifting in the tranquil green, she became aware of a deepening grey ahead of her. Curious as to this new form, she floated towards it involuntarily. An abrupt foreboding took hold as she noted how invasive the blackness was to the shimmering emerald sea. Long tendrils of the darkness appeared, like tentacles of some unseen monster from below. They raveled around her legs. With a silent scream she descended at great speed and landed on a hard surface. The impact pained her joints and her hands scrapped on a slab of rock. If she were dead it wouldn't hurt, right? Just as her body had been forcibly thrown to the ground so did her reason for being there topple into her mind with distressing clarity. The recollection of pain and heartache and the feeling of loss assailed her. Groaning, she pushed herself up and sat looking around at the darkened horizon of what appeared to be miles of crumbling facades of concrete, iron and man-made structures, open like a massive fissure to the swampy-green swirling and churning above. She was on a gigantic slab, cracked and broken in places, and that stretched for at least a mile on all sides. Colossal columns of concrete and mounds of fractured stone were set in random places on the slab and even beyond into the rocky landscape. The surroundings seemed familiar. There was only so much she could see in the gloomy tangible blackness. A tremor shook her. The very ground she sat on shifted as if whatever was underneath was moving. What was this place? The awful sense that she might be dead nearly overcame her. Instinctively she patted her stomach. "Hey there, sweety." The baby was still with her, she could tell that much. Maybe that was a good sign. Pulling her legs up, she sat, rubbing her arms to warm them from the chilling wind that continued to blow with erratic force, and she wondered what she should do in this strange place.

A terrible wailing filled the wind, sweeping across the barren grey surface. She shivered not only from the cold but the sudden fear of the ghostly sounds. Voices were in the wind. The howling drew closer as well as the voices. Human voices… screaming. She covered her ears at the shrieks that seemed deathly. "Oh, Gaia, what is this place?" She jumped up at the shadows that swayed towards her, and she backed away yet there was nothing on the bare concrete to run to. Suddenly with a short gasp, she turned her head and viewed the drab wasteland with dread. Oh no, not Sector 7. She never in all her life wanted to come here again. She studied the distant skyline, covered in somber shadows, and she could distinguish the city of Midgar. She had to get away from this plate. The wind circled her in a whirlwind that transformed to darkness. The voices continued moaning in her ear, clamoring for her attention. Terror quickened in her heart as the blackness formed solid outlines of... people. Men and women stepped out of the shadows with faces and dead black eyes, and attired in ripped clothing covered in dust and blood. Paling at the sight of their terrible disfigurement, she tried backing away but they were closing in. How could she even fight against a ghost if that's what they even were?

A young woman held her pregnant stomach, streaked with blood, and she spoke, her voice, strained and sorrowful ~ I was pregnant too, but you stole my life and my baby's. Why did I have to die? ~

Tifa stared in horror, unable to give an answer. Hadn't she been searching for this very answer herself? There was none. This was a foe she had no experience in fighting, but it was the words that stole her power and made her weak. It was a battle she had never won in her mind. How could she hope to win it here and now? She shook her head. No, I didn't mean to…

Out of the shaded mist a man shook his fist at her. ~ You had no right! Destroying everything. Our homes, our children ~ Countless sad physically deformed wraiths manifested, even children, and their expressions conveyed their anger and grief, and every one of them had the dead eyes. Wailing and cursing, they closed in on her with their condemning guilt-laden lamentations ~ Now you're living a happy life. But you'll pay in the end just like we did ~ Why did it have to be us? ~ Didn't you care? What about the children? You didn't think of them ~ We didn't all die straight away you realize. Days for some of us ~

Trembling, Tifa struggled against their rotten flesh and pushed through. She ran crying and stumbled on the slab, cutting her knee, and she ran again always with her eyes on the arching horizon of iron and decrepit buildings in an attempt to escape their clawing hands that wanted to bring her down. She couldn't outrun the wind that continued blowing the agonized screams into her thoughts. Screams of thousands of people dying. Every word they shouted in her ear brought back the guilt and heartache she had tormented herself with.

Finally she arrived at the edge of the plate, and not taking time to look back she dropped down on the ledges and twisted steel to the shadows below. The wind had receded but now she stood in darkness. Taking long hard breaths, she tried to calm herself. If she reasoned it out, it wasn't just her. Shinra played a big role in the aftermath, but still it was because of Avalanche it happened. She thought she had worked it through, but now she knew she hadn't, she had only pushed it aside; locked all those peoples' sufferings away so she didn't have to deal with it. Unbearable guilt was beating down to the core of her soul once more.

Instead of the fierce wind, there were the echoing sounds of monsters throughout the ruins. She wondered if she should keep walking… somewhere. But given the fearful noises, she questioned how wise that would be. Her hands glided over her stomach, rubbing her stretched skin. She had never felt so alone in her life. The unearthly environment was frightening, but at least she was free to move and comfort the infant within. After wiping away her tears, she wondered what she should do. If she was in Midgar then she should try to find the church. At least there she might find some relief.

Gun-fire came at her from some alley. She ran for cover and spied out whoever was shooting. Soldiers? Maybe three. She decided she had nothing to lose by charging them and it was the only way she was going to get rid of them. Pinpointing their location, she stealthily moved to the nearest one. Coming out of the dark, she had the advantage and she punched first and grabbed the weapon second. Using it, she swept the gun into the man behind, knocking him against the wall. The third one to come at her received a straight kick to the groin and chest. They were Shinra soldiers and she knew the best technique in fighting them. On their defeat they disappeared into a black haze and she stood alone, breathing hard and wondering what had just happened.

After some time of trying to work out where she was and finding the right street, she started walking in the direction she thought was the right one. Hours might have passed, she had no way of knowing and navigating through the dark was near impossible. She looked for anything that she could climb to get a better look at the ruined city. She avoided the buildings, not wanting to discover more ghosts, for she could still hear them on the wind, pervading her thoughts with grief and anguish, if she listened. Above the wind came the faint strain of a sorrowful melody. Curious as to its source because the tune was familiar, she walked till she found where it came from. A black piano was amongst debris and rubble in the middle of the street. A woman sat playing, and her long dark hair was held back from her face and she wore a simple white dress.

Tifa stepped closer to see the peculiar sight and she watched with amazement. "Mummy?" Running to greet her, Tifa, her heart racing at her presence, reached out her arms to embrace her. How long had she waited for this day? She had so much to tell her, so much to share.

Her mother continued playing, and turning her face slightly she looked Tifa up and down, and her face was careworn. "There you are, young lady. Well, well, it's sad to see you never listened to what I told you. Now my heart grieves that after all these years you've neglected my teachings and stopped playing. It's very disappointing. You were very good."

Tifa stared down at her hands, flexing them into fists. Hardened knuckles from years of training and fighting had made her hands rugged and her fingers sturdy. Martial arts had been her focus, her purpose in a world controlled by how strong you were. She hadn't played for years and she wasn't sure she could even play now. Even when Cloud had asked her about taking it up again, she had made excuses. Suddenly remembering how her mum had made her promise to keep playing before she died, she blushed with remorse, and muttered, "I know... but.... Mum, what is this place?"

A tall dark haired man came to stand alongside the woman. His deep brown eyes, the same as Tifa's, examined her with an austere look. "This place is the birthplace of truth. The core of all that is and all that will be."

"Dad!" To see him alive and speaking was everything she had wanted and she wished to bury herself in his arms and get covered by his warmth again. "Truth, what do you mean?"

"You're father is right." Her mother paused. "You will receive revelation and enlightenment."

"Mum, dad." she spoke softly, wanting to share with them the joy, but now feeling guarded, "I'm pregnant."

Her father's mouth formed a grim line and he spoke in a harsh tone, the one that always set her on edge and made her run and hide from her punishment. "And look at the trouble it's caused you and a lot of other people. Once again threatening the lives of thousands, and no doubt it's with that boy. You aren't even married. That's nothing to be proud of."

Her heart sunk. How did he even know about her history? "I'm sorry..." she dropped her head, she wanted to be married, but it just hadn't happened yet."It didn't seem to matter, not being married."

"Things haven't changed at all. Going off with that boy just like you did when you were a child." He went on.

"You never seem to get out of trouble. Always making mischief," her mother added.

She became breathless at their severe condemnation. She had always thought they would like Cloud if they met him and got to know him. And she had apologized for going off with Cloud years ago, and she'd been remorseful. Not only did it get her in trouble at the time, but Cloud too and victimized by the whole village for years. She had felt guilt ridden over the venture for some time afterwards. Why would her father bring up such a thing now? Ignoring their cruel words, she ran towards then with open arms, seeking comfort. They vanished along with the piano and she grabbed at shadows. She tried to meditate on what had transpired wanting to make some sense of it, but the hurt on their wrathful faces blocked any intrinsic thought she might have had. She could only feel... What did they mean by enlightenment? Making her way down the street, she walked cautiously through the shadows. The monster bellows and snarls were nearby although she could see nothing. The further she went into the ruins the more frightening everything became. She was still reeling over her parent's insensitive response to her and their cold aloofness. It mustn't be real. But the ghosts... they were real people. Once. She didn't want to think about them, any of them. She wanted to go to a safe place and the only place she knew that might be safe was the church.

A short distance away was a growl of a monster she recognized. Sensing its approach, she stood at the ready. The Kalm Fang leaped quickly and she ducked, punching upwards full force into its supple underbelly. She had trained against this monster for years. It was fast and unpredictable. It fell back, and even though it was injured, it ran at her. She stepped just as fast to side sweep with a kick, sending it into a collapsed wall where it fell before disappearing. From a black doorway, a man in baggy trousers of a natural fiber approached, clapping his hands slowly at her small victory. He flexed his arms and despite his age his chest was still taut and supple and it rippled under his open shirt. His long plaited hair was grey but she still recognized him after so many years. But did that mean he was dead?

"Master Zangan." The legendary martial artist had taught her everything she knew of the craft since she was a young girl. He had been her mentor and inspiration back than, although not her motivation. No, that had been a young Cloud and a desire to follow in his footsteps, even back then.

He stopped at her voice and his alert eyes scanned her from head to toe and he gave her an acknowledging nod. "Tifa, I see how far you have advanced." His steady tone became more intense as he pierced her gaze. "It is to be expected after all that time under my training. You leant as much as you could from me. In the end I couldn't pass anything more onto you." He bowed his head in sadness. "And you decided to move on and waste yourself by working in a bar. Neglecting all your talent and skill, you abandoned the craft and me."

Tifa gasped with shock at his candid statement. She was well acquainted with his disappointed expression. He gave her that grimace when she consistently failed at some technique, and she would work for hours until she got it perfect so he would smile again. But... that wasn't how it was, she was sure. She didn't leave him because he couldn't further her training. Or was it? She did want to join Avalanche at the time and she wanted to expand her skills in different areas. He was right. "I didn't mean..." but she had.

"Even after I spent time healing you and investing myself into your welfare, you never even found out where I was or what I was doing."

The misery darkening his usually cheerful face was palpable and she gulped back tears pooling in her eyes at his sincere words. Because of him, she was alive. He had saved her. She had made a terrible mistake in not keeping contact with him. Before she could say how much he meant to her, he was gone and she was alone once more amidst the wreckage of Midgar. The unexpected exchange with her old master, who she revered, was devastating. Clutching her stomach, she groaned from a sudden pain, like needles stabbing into her womb and she leaned against a wall to keep from stumbling to her knees.

After the pain dulled, she righted herself and walked with her eyes on the street in wary anticipation. The ruins were becoming more terrifying as she went on, not only was she nervous of the abrasive wind that continued haunting her, but the shadows that moved with direction and purpose. She could have sworn she saw people shifting in windows. On top of the hellish environment, holes were emerging in her memory. She could remember people, but events were a vague recollection as if her mind was in a fog and she could no longer think properly. She was unfocused. If she could only find a place where she could hide away.

She stopped in thought, abruptly wondering where she was going. Looking right and left down isles of collapsed metal frames and piles of concrete all under the shade of a never ending night, she had no idea where she was. Where was I going? A black, deeper than the shadows, formed a solid mass. Holding her arms, she shivered in trepidation. A giant midnight black behemoth appeared, growling and pawing the ground, its red glowing eyes were fixed on her. She knew she should run, but… why was she rooted to the spot? It charged at her. Although she stood to defend herself, she couldn't get a hit on as it butted her forward. She slammed into a pile of jagged rocks and slid down, crying out from the pain to her back.

Stepping out from a doorway, an overly large figure, a man she knew well, ignored her and shot at the monster. His gun-arm whirring into action, he blasted the thing.

"Barrett?!" Tifa cried with a breathless mix of joy and confusion. Considering that he should not be there with her at all, she queried, "Why are you here?" Using the rocks to support herself, she stood with an aching back that she massaged, but the pain remained.

He shouted at her, his voice loud as always, "I gotta get rid of these, get you outta trouble."

"Thanks, Barrett." She breathed a grateful sigh, pushing back every warning thought that screamed he shouldn't be there. Shouldn't be talking to her.

"I'm not the only one here." Barrett nodded towards the doorway and he kept shooting away at the creature that didn't want to die.

Tifa mumbled, "Cid...?" and stared at him, sauntering over to her, cigarette in his mouth and his spear in his hand. He cocked his head at her and his mouth turned down when he saw the monster and he started attacking it. Despite the alarm bells ringing in her head, she felt comforted by their company. "It's weird that you're here."

Barrett replied, "Yeah, ain't that the truth. That's all I'm good for anyway. All brawn, no brains, I know that's what you say. When will I ever mean more to you than just being a killing machine? That's why you got Marlene. I'm not capable of looking after her, right?"

Tifa crossed her brow in frustration. At times she had thought that… but wait, she never said anything to him, maybe to Cloud she had spoken of it, but no one else ever. This couldn't be real and her face reddened. He can't be real. She muttered to herself, "Am I dead?"

"Look around, is this the land of the living?" Cid left the behemoth that refused to be injured to Barrett and turned to her. The smoke trailed behind him and the smell was strong and very real. "We're the spirits of ourselves or something like the essence, so Vin tells us." He glanced up to a building top where a figure watched them. Through the shadows his distinct red cape was easy to pick out.

Vincent is here as well. How she wanted to speak to Vincent. He would know what's going on. "Your essence?" What did that mean?

Barrett growled at the creature and he turned a grim face her way, and she noted spite in his tone. "This is ourselves is the way I see it. We aren't all perfect like you. Most of us make mistakes..."

She looked at him, her mouth gaping. "I'm not perf—"

The behemoth let out a grumbling roar of pain as a large shuriken ripped through the skin of its neck. Yuffie rolled through the air and landed near Tifa with ease. Her carefree brown eyes gave her a quick scrutiny. Surely Yuffie…

Yuffie yelled, "You see, I can fight too and do damage. You just thought I was obnoxious and shallow. I'm not still some teenager. If you stop being so critical you'll see the person I am."

Tifa looked down at her, "I never thought..." but she had, many times.

"I'm a darn good fighter. Better than you right. You just can't admit it."

Tifa opened her mouth to speak - but she couldn't remember if that were true. Maybe she really was a better fighter. Maybe Tifa just couldn't see the truth.

Yuffie dashed off and around the creature and Cid stood in her place, leaning on his spear, the smell of cigarette smoke all over him. A smell she despised. Smoke. "They're right you know. Stop expecting us to change. We can't change not even for you. Even Vinnie won't change." He nodded and took a drag of his cigarette. "All these moral ethics. Shit! I can do what I want when I want." He stepped closer, too close, "And stop lecturing all the time, telling me to do shit and how I should be treating people. Too much nagging. And when you stop wearing those skimpy clothes is when we'll stop staring. What's a guy to do?"

Tifa's breath caught in her throat and hot tears burned her face. The accusations stabbed into her heart, worse than any monster she had ever fought and been injured by. She held her stomach, willing herself not to throw up on the spot.

Cid glanced back to Vincent and as if speaking on his behalf he said, "And Vin says, stop prying into his life. He's sick of your questions. He likes living alone."

All this time no one had ever said what they were really thinking. They had let her think everything was okay between them all. Now she was seeing the truth. Is this the enlightenment? Breaking down, she put her hand up to ward off any more disheartening comments. Whether they were ghosts or conjured beings, they were right, painfully right. She took them all for granted, never appreciated them and now she couldn't even tell them how much she cared about them.

The behemoth was soon destroyed and they all disappeared without a word and she was left alone, crying into her hands. Some time passed before she finally stood in an attempt to get somewhere. There was a place she wanted to go, but now she couldn't recall where that was. Maybe she could leave the city altogether and go to where she lived. That's right. She lived outside of Midgar.

She ambled down the street with no real enthusiasm. Her sole comfort was the life inside her, protected in her womb, but even that was marred by a contracting pain that came on occasion. The tightening spasms incapacitated her, making her stop and clutch at herself. She wanted a soft place to lie down, perhaps she could find a bed... yes, that would be nice.

"Tifa." A soft child voice called to her from some alley. "Tifa."

She opened her eyes from her daze to see Marlene approaching her. Not Marlene? Why was she in a place like this? Dismay gripped her. Was the young woman dead? Longing to hug her, she reached out her hand in supplication and whispered, "Why are you here?"

"This is it for us. There's no more ahead. You don't need them anymore anyway." Marlene stepped closer and a sad look was in her eyes that broke Tifa's heart. "And you don't need me either now that you have a new baby. You only ever wanted your own child and I was always in the way from the beginning."

"Marlene, please don't say that," Tifa beseeched her. "I always wanted you."

"No, you were forced to look after me, because Barrett wasn't able to have me. You couldn't go and do what you wanted to do anymore and I became a burden," Marlene said, "It's the truth, Tifa."

"No…no." She had trouble remembering what had happened exactly way back then. Barrett did leave and he did leave Marlene with her. At the time she was shocked, wondering how she would look after a child. "I didn't mind..."

Tears fell down Marlene's cheeks and she let loose a sob. Tifa went to hold her, but Marlene pulled away. Like some strange dream that was very real and descending into a nightmare, Denzel walked up to Marlene. He circled her shoulders and let her cry on his shoulder.

"Denzel?" Surely he wasn't…dead?

He looked up at her, his clear blue eyes admonishing her. "She's right. You don't want us hanging around. You were only obliged to look after me because you felt so guilty about what you all did. And than we were the ones who made Cloud leave, you knew that. I saw it every time you looked at us. Besides you'll never be like my real mum."

She shook her head violently, attempting to gain clarity over her thoughts, over her memories. She felt the bile enter her throat at her confusion and anxiety. In an attempt to save her sanity, she wailed, "This can't be real." Turning her face, she waved her hand at them as if it would make all the cruel words disappear, and her voice was a guttural mumble, "I do care about you, all of you." Grasping her aching stomach, she breathed fast in mounting panic. She hoped they were all gone, she couldn't bear to see them and hear how despised she must be. How scorned.

She thought it best to keep moving, although she didn't know why and she dragged her leaden body down another unfamiliar path. Without warning and out from the darkness, Shadow Creepers pounced on her. It had been along time since she had faced these creatures, but she recalled them well enough. Her feet were sluggish, but she managed to jump from their advance in time. Instinctively she raised her fists and punched into the creature with as much force as she could muster. She was thrown back by another and she stopped herself from colliding with an iron railing. One hit wasn't enough, and thank goodness there were only three of them. A kick into the second sent it flying into vapor. The first rounded on her again and she struck into it. She waited for the last one to attack and she dodged and pummeled it into mist. Breathing heavily, she lent on her knees with weariness and her stomach churned so much, she wanted to throw up.

The throbbing inside was coming with more frequency and she muttered, "Sweety, hope you're alright in there." She collapsed with a cry and writhed in agony, shedding her grieving tears. She might have stayed like that for hours crying her eyes red and raw, but maybe it was only moments, she couldn't tell in the timeless alien environment. Wiping her sodden cheeks, she attempted sitting up, but groaned with a lethal mix of despair and pain. Dark dismal thoughts shrouded her mind to any reason or logic. She could not get up, nor did she really want to. Everything good and solid in her life had vanished, if they had ever existed at all. She had been living a fantasy, this was reality. Now she knew the truth about herself. A trail of heartache and damage lay behind her, much like the ruined city she was wandering through. People's anguish and hardship caused by her. But hadn't she always known that deep down. Wasn't she worthless and insignificant and had always been? Just when she started to zone out again, a familiar voice started speaking. A voice she hadn't heard in many years. Under different circumstances she would have been thrilled to hear her, but now… she dreaded her voice as if she carried poison.

"I'm sorry, Tifa."

A sweet scent flowed over Tifa, like she was transported to an exotic garden. Aeris. "Why?" She choked out, and looking up she saw her serene face and dazzling green eyes.

"That this is your time to sacrifice."

Tifa turned her face away and gulped back a sob. So that's what this is...?

"And I'm sorry that you had to wonder what Cloud would have done if I had lived."

Tifa held her breath, sensing her heart stop beating for seconds. A new string of tears fell and her hands covered her sorrow. How did Aeris even know she thought on that? On those lonely nights the doubts weeded their way into her thoughts. Was Tifa the one he really loved? How would things have gone if Aeris had lived? A shameless sob escaped her mouth at the vision of Cloud and Aeris. It had been so easy for Aeris to talk to Cloud, she seemed to know how to talk to him, but of course that's because he was always more interested in her than he was in Tifa.

Aeris continued in her soft droning voice, "I know what he would have done and if you search your heart you will too. But I choose the fate of the planet over my love. Don't be satisfied with something less than true love, Tifa. You will only be disappointed and let down in the end. It could have been so different. It wasn't always meant to be this way."

Tifa sobbed into her hands, having no reply, knowing it was true in her gut. No wonder it had been so hard for her and Cloud to get together, so rocky and awkward. The reason why they didn't get married. But she knew that from the start, she was just in denial. And she hadn't cared either; she had pushed him to be with her, even though he was reluctant, for she was so desperate to love him. The shame of selling herself short added to her depression over the truth of Cloud's love. There was nothing she could say in response, she yielded to her comments. How could she ever think to stand in the way of his love of Aeris? She slid down to her knees in a crying mess. After some moments she noticed the silence, and she glimpsed through her tears that Aeris had departed.

Gathering what physical strength she had, she stood and walked along the wrecked street, deciding to head somewhere high. Maybe she could get nearer the green swampy sky. Her arms folded over her chest, she dug her nails into her arms, generating pain, but she wanted the knife-like pressure, needed it. She desired something stronger more piercing to overpower all her inner grief, so she didn't have to feel it. Losing her balance, she half fell against a jagged rock wall, not caring that the fragmented concrete cut into her skin, drawing blood. Holding her pounding stomach, she stared down and thought of the life within her. How she loved it so much and she mumbled under her breath, "I loved you, little baby, I hope you know that…" She had been so selfish, and now she had doomed the infant to a life of misery along with everyone else?

"I won't be able to protect you all of the time."

From behind her spoke the one person she wanted to see most in the whole planet and yet now she couldn't bear for any more of her known world to crash around her. Not him too. She bowed her head avoiding his eyes. "Cloud…" she caught a sob in her tightening throat. If she looked into his eyes and saw disapproval or worse contempt she would be shattered, even if he didn't love her. She was afraid of his words as if they could penetrate her soul and have command over her heart and life. She had given him that power. Let him in, given him access to her heart and thoughts.

"There's not much I can do for you now," he said quietly and there was a sterile coldness to his tone that she had never heard before. "I warned you this would happen."

She sucked back her tears. "I know, you were rig-"

"But what can we expect? You never asked if I wanted this baby. You never asked me or my opinion. Even when I wanted to move, you didn't consider me."

Tears rolled down her cheeks at the annoyance in his voice. "I'm sorry..." she turned slowly, wanting so much to see him, but not wanting to see his scorching blue eyes. Her heart leaped at the sight of him in his riding clothes, the same as when he left. Everything about him was the same, it was perfectly him. The way he stood, his feet evenly apart, his hands splayed at his waist. Her eyes skimmed over his burning mako eyes boring into her face and they were full of derision. She wanted to cast herself into his arms, but she couldn't. Every wall was shooting up in protection. Moaning, she fell to her knees that were already torn and bleeding.

He went on, his tone uncompassionate, "It's too late for that now. Look at the mess it's caused, not only for us but the whole planet. I always take a back seat in your life. The bar, the kids and now a baby." His hand rubbed his temple in irritation and he said with severity, "It's turning into a big mistake."

The baby... a mistake... I am... She cried pitifully and mumbled something incomprehensible. On her hands and knees, her tears gushed onto the ground as she cried her wretched heart out. After a moment she reached for him out of desperation. Looking through her wet blurred vision she saw him walking away, "Cloud…" she moaned from a shuddering chest. Uncontrollable wails overwhelmed her body for some time.

Finally she decided to move, at least away from that spot. Away from everything and everyone. She wanted to go higher up, for some reason she couldn't determine. Letting the tears fall without hindrance, as well as the blood from various places over her body, she started climbing upwards. She used the last of her strength to climb and jump up ledges and fallen pillars to reach one of the highest places of the ruins. She didn't know why she wanted to, she just wanted to go somewhere and rest and not get up again. Ever. She thought if she could be nearer the green sky that would be better than the bleak pits of the ruins below. Than maybe she could die with some peace. If peace could truly happen in this place.

As she bounded up the top, she recognized the area, but couldn't say where or what it was. No matter, on reaching the top she near collapsed. With no will to move, she sat sitting on her knees on the harsh flat stone, looking up at the dirty green. She sobbed with abject sorrow and flagrant despair. The pain around her stomach flared up more agonizing than ever. The infant seemed the only one present in her insane afflicted world who didn't have a voice to condemn her. Was the baby really a mistake? I loved you more than anything. But now she was saddened beyond belief, for she no longer had any strength to protect it. Didn't they want her baby out there in the world? "Maybe somehow you will escape this place, my baby—"

"Pitiful human."

It was a deep voice, one she had heard before. A voice from her nightmares. She glimpsed through her fringe, curtaining her lowered face, legs and chest attired just how she remembered him. His silver hair flowed gently by his waist.

"I have come to finish what I failed to do." His melodic voice crooned with evil intentions.

How fitting that Sephiroth be the one to kill her. Just as it should have been so many years ago when she should have died. How many times had she faced this man? It seemed an endless battle in her mind that no one knew about. Not even Cloud knew how much she feared this man. She could stand and try to fight him. But even if she wanted to, she was frozen to the spot. Weariness dulled her senses, she had no more power. Her strength had always come from her friends, all her courage was from them and for them. Now she had nothing inside only a weeping sore over her heart. She was powerless and helpless in the face of her nightmare. She remained on her hunches ready to sacrifice herself and the baby for the planet, just like Aeris did.

Septhiroth flung his head back and laughed cynically. "Weakling. Humans are all the same."

Staring at the ground, she watched the blade hold steady inches from her heart, ready to pierce her flesh. Deep down somewhere buried in her heart, she knew didn't want to die, because the only certain thing she recalled about herself was she never gave up. From some feet away came a noise and Sephiroth moved abruptly, causing the tip of the sword to penetrate the muscles of her shoulder. With a sharp cry, she slumped onto her side in defeat.

Description
FFVII
The Power of Jenova

Genre: Action/ Adventure/ Emotive themes
Setting: 3 years after DoC
Rating: M
Status: WIP
OCs: 25%
Disclaimer: All related Final Fantasy VII names and characters are copyrighted © by Square Enix. However, this story and the OCs are mine. Thank you.

THE POWER OF JENOVA

Tifa rolled on a gentle current, suspended in a weightless sea. She opened her eyes to a multihued green haze. The life-stream? Was I dead? The sense of weightlessness was a relief and she floated for some time, abandoning her conscious thought and reason to be replaced with a peaceful lull. She soon began wondering why she was in the life-stream, but her mind could not concentrate long enough to consider an answer. Aside from not knowing why she was there, it was calm and a euphoric feeling was building in her body.

After some time of drifting in the tranquil green, she became aware of a deepening grey ahead of her. Curious as to this new form, she floated towards it involuntarily. An abrupt foreboding took hold as she noted how invasive the blackness was to the shimmering emerald sea. Long tendrils of the darkness appeared, like tentacles of some unseen monster from below. They raveled around her legs. With a silent scream she descended at great speed and landed on a hard surface. The impact pained her joints and her hands scrapped on a slab of rock. If she were dead it wouldn't hurt, right? Just as her body had been forcibly thrown to the ground so did her reason for being there topple into her mind with distressing clarity. The recollection of pain and heartache and the feeling of loss assailed her. Groaning, she pushed herself up and sat looking around at the darkened horizon of what appeared to be miles of crumbling facades of concrete, iron and man-made structures, open like a massive fissure to the swampy-green swirling and churning above. She was on a gigantic slab, cracked and broken in places, and that stretched for at least a mile on all sides. Colossal columns of concrete and mounds of fractured stone were set in random places on the slab and even beyond into the rocky landscape. The surroundings seemed familiar. There was only so much she could see in the gloomy tangible blackness. A tremor shook her. The very ground she sat on shifted as if whatever was underneath was moving. What was this place? The awful sense that she might be dead nearly overcame her. Instinctively she patted her stomach. "Hey there, sweety." The baby was still with her, she could tell that much. Maybe that was a good sign. Pulling her legs up, she sat, rubbing her arms to warm them from the chilling wind that continued to blow with erratic force, and she wondered what she should do in this strange place.

A terrible wailing filled the wind, sweeping across the barren grey surface. She shivered not only from the cold but the sudden fear of the ghostly sounds. Voices were in the wind. The howling drew closer as well as the voices. Human voices… screaming. She covered her ears at the shrieks that seemed deathly. "Oh, Gaia, what is this place?" She jumped up at the shadows that swayed towards her, and she backed away yet there was nothing on the bare concrete to run to. Suddenly with a short gasp, she turned her head and viewed the drab wasteland with dread. Oh no, not Sector 7. She never in all her life wanted to come here again. She studied the distant skyline, covered in somber shadows, and she could distinguish the city of Midgar. She had to get away from this plate. The wind circled her in a whirlwind that transformed to darkness. The voices continued moaning in her ear, clamoring for her attention. Terror quickened in her heart as the blackness formed solid outlines of... people. Men and women stepped out of the shadows with faces and dead black eyes, and attired in ripped clothing covered in dust and blood. Paling at the sight of their terrible disfigurement, she tried backing away but they were closing in. How could she even fight against a ghost if that's what they even were?

A young woman held her pregnant stomach, streaked with blood, and she spoke, her voice, strained and sorrowful ~ I was pregnant too, but you stole my life and my baby's. Why did I have to die? ~

Tifa stared in horror, unable to give an answer. Hadn't she been searching for this very answer herself? There was none. This was a foe she had no experience in fighting, but it was the words that stole her power and made her weak. It was a battle she had never won in her mind. How could she hope to win it here and now? She shook her head. No, I didn't mean to…

Out of the shaded mist a man shook his fist at her. ~ You had no right! Destroying everything. Our homes, our children ~ Countless sad physically deformed wraiths manifested, even children, and their expressions conveyed their anger and grief, and every one of them had the dead eyes. Wailing and cursing, they closed in on her with their condemning guilt-laden lamentations ~ Now you're living a happy life. But you'll pay in the end just like we did ~ Why did it have to be us? ~ Didn't you care? What about the children? You didn't think of them ~ We didn't all die straight away you realize. Days for some of us ~

Trembling, Tifa struggled against their rotten flesh and pushed through. She ran crying and stumbled on the slab, cutting her knee, and she ran again always with her eyes on the arching horizon of iron and decrepit buildings in an attempt to escape their clawing hands that wanted to bring her down. She couldn't outrun the wind that continued blowing the agonized screams into her thoughts. Screams of thousands of people dying. Every word they shouted in her ear brought back the guilt and heartache she had tormented herself with.

Finally she arrived at the edge of the plate, and not taking time to look back she dropped down on the ledges and twisted steel to the shadows below. The wind had receded but now she stood in darkness. Taking long hard breaths, she tried to calm herself. If she reasoned it out, it wasn't just her. Shinra played a big role in the aftermath, but still it was because of Avalanche it happened. She thought she had worked it through, but now she knew she hadn't, she had only pushed it aside; locked all those peoples' sufferings away so she didn't have to deal with it. Unbearable guilt was beating down to the core of her soul once more.

Instead of the fierce wind, there were the echoing sounds of monsters throughout the ruins. She wondered if she should keep walking… somewhere. But given the fearful noises, she questioned how wise that would be. Her hands glided over her stomach, rubbing her stretched skin. She had never felt so alone in her life. The unearthly environment was frightening, but at least she was free to move and comfort the infant within. After wiping away her tears, she wondered what she should do. If she was in Midgar then she should try to find the church. At least there she might find some relief.

Gun-fire came at her from some alley. She ran for cover and spied out whoever was shooting. Soldiers? Maybe three. She decided she had nothing to lose by charging them and it was the only way she was going to get rid of them. Pinpointing their location, she stealthily moved to the nearest one. Coming out of the dark, she had the advantage and she punched first and grabbed the weapon second. Using it, she swept the gun into the man behind, knocking him against the wall. The third one to come at her received a straight kick to the groin and chest. They were Shinra soldiers and she knew the best technique in fighting them. On their defeat they disappeared into a black haze and she stood alone, breathing hard and wondering what had just happened.

After some time of trying to work out where she was and finding the right street, she started walking in the direction she thought was the right one. Hours might have passed, she had no way of knowing and navigating through the dark was near impossible. She looked for anything that she could climb to get a better look at the ruined city. She avoided the buildings, not wanting to discover more ghosts, for she could still hear them on the wind, pervading her thoughts with grief and anguish, if she listened. Above the wind came the faint strain of a sorrowful melody. Curious as to its source because the tune was familiar, she walked till she found where it came from. A black piano was amongst debris and rubble in the middle of the street. A woman sat playing, and her long dark hair was held back from her face and she wore a simple white dress.

Tifa stepped closer to see the peculiar sight and she watched with amazement. "Mummy?" Running to greet her, Tifa, her heart racing at her presence, reached out her arms to embrace her. How long had she waited for this day? She had so much to tell her, so much to share.

Her mother continued playing, and turning her face slightly she looked Tifa up and down, and her face was careworn. "There you are, young lady. Well, well, it's sad to see you never listened to what I told you. Now my heart grieves that after all these years you've neglected my teachings and stopped playing. It's very disappointing. You were very good."

Tifa stared down at her hands, flexing them into fists. Hardened knuckles from years of training and fighting had made her hands rugged and her fingers sturdy. Martial arts had been her focus, her purpose in a world controlled by how strong you were. She hadn't played for years and she wasn't sure she could even play now. Even when Cloud had asked her about taking it up again, she had made excuses. Suddenly remembering how her mum had made her promise to keep playing before she died, she blushed with remorse, and muttered, "I know... but.... Mum, what is this place?"

A tall dark haired man came to stand alongside the woman. His deep brown eyes, the same as Tifa's, examined her with an austere look. "This place is the birthplace of truth. The core of all that is and all that will be."

"Dad!" To see him alive and speaking was everything she had wanted and she wished to bury herself in his arms and get covered by his warmth again. "Truth, what do you mean?"

"You're father is right." Her mother paused. "You will receive revelation and enlightenment."

"Mum, dad." she spoke softly, wanting to share with them the joy, but now feeling guarded, "I'm pregnant."

Her father's mouth formed a grim line and he spoke in a harsh tone, the one that always set her on edge and made her run and hide from her punishment. "And look at the trouble it's caused you and a lot of other people. Once again threatening the lives of thousands, and no doubt it's with that boy. You aren't even married. That's nothing to be proud of."

Her heart sunk. How did he even know about her history? "I'm sorry..." she dropped her head, she wanted to be married, but it just hadn't happened yet."It didn't seem to matter, not being married."

"Things haven't changed at all. Going off with that boy just like you did when you were a child." He went on.

"You never seem to get out of trouble. Always making mischief," her mother added.

She became breathless at their severe condemnation. She had always thought they would like Cloud if they met him and got to know him. And she had apologized for going off with Cloud years ago, and she'd been remorseful. Not only did it get her in trouble at the time, but Cloud too and victimized by the whole village for years. She had felt guilt ridden over the venture for some time afterwards. Why would her father bring up such a thing now? Ignoring their cruel words, she ran towards then with open arms, seeking comfort. They vanished along with the piano and she grabbed at shadows. She tried to meditate on what had transpired wanting to make some sense of it, but the hurt on their wrathful faces blocked any intrinsic thought she might have had. She could only feel... What did they mean by enlightenment? Making her way down the street, she walked cautiously through the shadows. The monster bellows and snarls were nearby although she could see nothing. The further she went into the ruins the more frightening everything became. She was still reeling over her parent's insensitive response to her and their cold aloofness. It mustn't be real. But the ghosts... they were real people. Once. She didn't want to think about them, any of them. She wanted to go to a safe place and the only place she knew that might be safe was the church.

A short distance away was a growl of a monster she recognized. Sensing its approach, she stood at the ready. The Kalm Fang leaped quickly and she ducked, punching upwards full force into its supple underbelly. She had trained against this monster for years. It was fast and unpredictable. It fell back, and even though it was injured, it ran at her. She stepped just as fast to side sweep with a kick, sending it into a collapsed wall where it fell before disappearing. From a black doorway, a man in baggy trousers of a natural fiber approached, clapping his hands slowly at her small victory. He flexed his arms and despite his age his chest was still taut and supple and it rippled under his open shirt. His long plaited hair was grey but she still recognized him after so many years. But did that mean he was dead?

"Master Zangan." The legendary martial artist had taught her everything she knew of the craft since she was a young girl. He had been her mentor and inspiration back than, although not her motivation. No, that had been a young Cloud and a desire to follow in his footsteps, even back then.

He stopped at her voice and his alert eyes scanned her from head to toe and he gave her an acknowledging nod. "Tifa, I see how far you have advanced." His steady tone became more intense as he pierced her gaze. "It is to be expected after all that time under my training. You leant as much as you could from me. In the end I couldn't pass anything more onto you." He bowed his head in sadness. "And you decided to move on and waste yourself by working in a bar. Neglecting all your talent and skill, you abandoned the craft and me."

Tifa gasped with shock at his candid statement. She was well acquainted with his disappointed expression. He gave her that grimace when she consistently failed at some technique, and she would work for hours until she got it perfect so he would smile again. But... that wasn't how it was, she was sure. She didn't leave him because he couldn't further her training. Or was it? She did want to join Avalanche at the time and she wanted to expand her skills in different areas. He was right. "I didn't mean..." but she had.

"Even after I spent time healing you and investing myself into your welfare, you never even found out where I was or what I was doing."

The misery darkening his usually cheerful face was palpable and she gulped back tears pooling in her eyes at his sincere words. Because of him, she was alive. He had saved her. She had made a terrible mistake in not keeping contact with him. Before she could say how much he meant to her, he was gone and she was alone once more amidst the wreckage of Midgar. The unexpected exchange with her old master, who she revered, was devastating. Clutching her stomach, she groaned from a sudden pain, like needles stabbing into her womb and she leaned against a wall to keep from stumbling to her knees.

After the pain dulled, she righted herself and walked with her eyes on the street in wary anticipation. The ruins were becoming more terrifying as she went on, not only was she nervous of the abrasive wind that continued haunting her, but the shadows that moved with direction and purpose. She could have sworn she saw people shifting in windows. On top of the hellish environment, holes were emerging in her memory. She could remember people, but events were a vague recollection as if her mind was in a fog and she could no longer think properly. She was unfocused. If she could only find a place where she could hide away.

She stopped in thought, abruptly wondering where she was going. Looking right and left down isles of collapsed metal frames and piles of concrete all under the shade of a never ending night, she had no idea where she was. Where was I going? A black, deeper than the shadows, formed a solid mass. Holding her arms, she shivered in trepidation. A giant midnight black behemoth appeared, growling and pawing the ground, its red glowing eyes were fixed on her. She knew she should run, but… why was she rooted to the spot? It charged at her. Although she stood to defend herself, she couldn't get a hit on as it butted her forward. She slammed into a pile of jagged rocks and slid down, crying out from the pain to her back.

Stepping out from a doorway, an overly large figure, a man she knew well, ignored her and shot at the monster. His gun-arm whirring into action, he blasted the thing.

"Barrett?!" Tifa cried with a breathless mix of joy and confusion. Considering that he should not be there with her at all, she queried, "Why are you here?" Using the rocks to support herself, she stood with an aching back that she massaged, but the pain remained.

He shouted at her, his voice loud as always, "I gotta get rid of these, get you outta trouble."

"Thanks, Barrett." She breathed a grateful sigh, pushing back every warning thought that screamed he shouldn't be there. Shouldn't be talking to her.

"I'm not the only one here." Barrett nodded towards the doorway and he kept shooting away at the creature that didn't want to die.

Tifa mumbled, "Cid...?" and stared at him, sauntering over to her, cigarette in his mouth and his spear in his hand. He cocked his head at her and his mouth turned down when he saw the monster and he started attacking it. Despite the alarm bells ringing in her head, she felt comforted by their company. "It's weird that you're here."

Barrett replied, "Yeah, ain't that the truth. That's all I'm good for anyway. All brawn, no brains, I know that's what you say. When will I ever mean more to you than just being a killing machine? That's why you got Marlene. I'm not capable of looking after her, right?"

Tifa crossed her brow in frustration. At times she had thought that… but wait, she never said anything to him, maybe to Cloud she had spoken of it, but no one else ever. This couldn't be real and her face reddened. He can't be real. She muttered to herself, "Am I dead?"

"Look around, is this the land of the living?" Cid left the behemoth that refused to be injured to Barrett and turned to her. The smoke trailed behind him and the smell was strong and very real. "We're the spirits of ourselves or something like the essence, so Vin tells us." He glanced up to a building top where a figure watched them. Through the shadows his distinct red cape was easy to pick out.

Vincent is here as well. How she wanted to speak to Vincent. He would know what's going on. "Your essence?" What did that mean?

Barrett growled at the creature and he turned a grim face her way, and she noted spite in his tone. "This is ourselves is the way I see it. We aren't all perfect like you. Most of us make mistakes..."

She looked at him, her mouth gaping. "I'm not perf—"

The behemoth let out a grumbling roar of pain as a large shuriken ripped through the skin of its neck. Yuffie rolled through the air and landed near Tifa with ease. Her carefree brown eyes gave her a quick scrutiny. Surely Yuffie…

Yuffie yelled, "You see, I can fight too and do damage. You just thought I was obnoxious and shallow. I'm not still some teenager. If you stop being so critical you'll see the person I am."

Tifa looked down at her, "I never thought..." but she had, many times.

"I'm a darn good fighter. Better than you right. You just can't admit it."

Tifa opened her mouth to speak - but she couldn't remember if that were true. Maybe she really was a better fighter. Maybe Tifa just couldn't see the truth.

Yuffie dashed off and around the creature and Cid stood in her place, leaning on his spear, the smell of cigarette smoke all over him. A smell she despised. Smoke. "They're right you know. Stop expecting us to change. We can't change not even for you. Even Vinnie won't change." He nodded and took a drag of his cigarette. "All these moral ethics. Shit! I can do what I want when I want." He stepped closer, too close, "And stop lecturing all the time, telling me to do shit and how I should be treating people. Too much nagging. And when you stop wearing those skimpy clothes is when we'll stop staring. What's a guy to do?"

Tifa's breath caught in her throat and hot tears burned her face. The accusations stabbed into her heart, worse than any monster she had ever fought and been injured by. She held her stomach, willing herself not to throw up on the spot.

Cid glanced back to Vincent and as if speaking on his behalf he said, "And Vin says, stop prying into his life. He's sick of your questions. He likes living alone."

All this time no one had ever said what they were really thinking. They had let her think everything was okay between them all. Now she was seeing the truth. Is this the enlightenment? Breaking down, she put her hand up to ward off any more disheartening comments. Whether they were ghosts or conjured beings, they were right, painfully right. She took them all for granted, never appreciated them and now she couldn't even tell them how much she cared about them.

The behemoth was soon destroyed and they all disappeared without a word and she was left alone, crying into her hands. Some time passed before she finally stood in an attempt to get somewhere. There was a place she wanted to go, but now she couldn't recall where that was. Maybe she could leave the city altogether and go to where she lived. That's right. She lived outside of Midgar.

She ambled down the street with no real enthusiasm. Her sole comfort was the life inside her, protected in her womb, but even that was marred by a contracting pain that came on occasion. The tightening spasms incapacitated her, making her stop and clutch at herself. She wanted a soft place to lie down, perhaps she could find a bed... yes, that would be nice.

"Tifa." A soft child voice called to her from some alley. "Tifa."

She opened her eyes from her daze to see Marlene approaching her. Not Marlene? Why was she in a place like this? Dismay gripped her. Was the young woman dead? Longing to hug her, she reached out her hand in supplication and whispered, "Why are you here?"

"This is it for us. There's no more ahead. You don't need them anymore anyway." Marlene stepped closer and a sad look was in her eyes that broke Tifa's heart. "And you don't need me either now that you have a new baby. You only ever wanted your own child and I was always in the way from the beginning."

"Marlene, please don't say that," Tifa beseeched her. "I always wanted you."

"No, you were forced to look after me, because Barrett wasn't able to have me. You couldn't go and do what you wanted to do anymore and I became a burden," Marlene said, "It's the truth, Tifa."

"No…no." She had trouble remembering what had happened exactly way back then. Barrett did leave and he did leave Marlene with her. At the time she was shocked, wondering how she would look after a child. "I didn't mind..."

Tears fell down Marlene's cheeks and she let loose a sob. Tifa went to hold her, but Marlene pulled away. Like some strange dream that was very real and descending into a nightmare, Denzel walked up to Marlene. He circled her shoulders and let her cry on his shoulder.

"Denzel?" Surely he wasn't…dead?

He looked up at her, his clear blue eyes admonishing her. "She's right. You don't want us hanging around. You were only obliged to look after me because you felt so guilty about what you all did. And than we were the ones who made Cloud leave, you knew that. I saw it every time you looked at us. Besides you'll never be like my real mum."

She shook her head violently, attempting to gain clarity over her thoughts, over her memories. She felt the bile enter her throat at her confusion and anxiety. In an attempt to save her sanity, she wailed, "This can't be real." Turning her face, she waved her hand at them as if it would make all the cruel words disappear, and her voice was a guttural mumble, "I do care about you, all of you." Grasping her aching stomach, she breathed fast in mounting panic. She hoped they were all gone, she couldn't bear to see them and hear how despised she must be. How scorned.

She thought it best to keep moving, although she didn't know why and she dragged her leaden body down another unfamiliar path. Without warning and out from the darkness, Shadow Creepers pounced on her. It had been along time since she had faced these creatures, but she recalled them well enough. Her feet were sluggish, but she managed to jump from their advance in time. Instinctively she raised her fists and punched into the creature with as much force as she could muster. She was thrown back by another and she stopped herself from colliding with an iron railing. One hit wasn't enough, and thank goodness there were only three of them. A kick into the second sent it flying into vapor. The first rounded on her again and she struck into it. She waited for the last one to attack and she dodged and pummeled it into mist. Breathing heavily, she lent on her knees with weariness and her stomach churned so much, she wanted to throw up.

The throbbing inside was coming with more frequency and she muttered, "Sweety, hope you're alright in there." She collapsed with a cry and writhed in agony, shedding her grieving tears. She might have stayed like that for hours crying her eyes red and raw, but maybe it was only moments, she couldn't tell in the timeless alien environment. Wiping her sodden cheeks, she attempted sitting up, but groaned with a lethal mix of despair and pain. Dark dismal thoughts shrouded her mind to any reason or logic. She could not get up, nor did she really want to. Everything good and solid in her life had vanished, if they had ever existed at all. She had been living a fantasy, this was reality. Now she knew the truth about herself. A trail of heartache and damage lay behind her, much like the ruined city she was wandering through. People's anguish and hardship caused by her. But hadn't she always known that deep down. Wasn't she worthless and insignificant and had always been? Just when she started to zone out again, a familiar voice started speaking. A voice she hadn't heard in many years. Under different circumstances she would have been thrilled to hear her, but now… she dreaded her voice as if she carried poison.

"I'm sorry, Tifa."

A sweet scent flowed over Tifa, like she was transported to an exotic garden. Aeris. "Why?" She choked out, and looking up she saw her serene face and dazzling green eyes.

"That this is your time to sacrifice."

Tifa turned her face away and gulped back a sob. So that's what this is...?

"And I'm sorry that you had to wonder what Cloud would have done if I had lived."

Tifa held her breath, sensing her heart stop beating for seconds. A new string of tears fell and her hands covered her sorrow. How did Aeris even know she thought on that? On those lonely nights the doubts weeded their way into her thoughts. Was Tifa the one he really loved? How would things have gone if Aeris had lived? A shameless sob escaped her mouth at the vision of Cloud and Aeris. It had been so easy for Aeris to talk to Cloud, she seemed to know how to talk to him, but of course that's because he was always more interested in her than he was in Tifa.

Aeris continued in her soft droning voice, "I know what he would have done and if you search your heart you will too. But I choose the fate of the planet over my love. Don't be satisfied with something less than true love, Tifa. You will only be disappointed and let down in the end. It could have been so different. It wasn't always meant to be this way."

Tifa sobbed into her hands, having no reply, knowing it was true in her gut. No wonder it had been so hard for her and Cloud to get together, so rocky and awkward. The reason why they didn't get married. But she knew that from the start, she was just in denial. And she hadn't cared either; she had pushed him to be with her, even though he was reluctant, for she was so desperate to love him. The shame of selling herself short added to her depression over the truth of Cloud's love. There was nothing she could say in response, she yielded to her comments. How could she ever think to stand in the way of his love of Aeris? She slid down to her knees in a crying mess. After some moments she noticed the silence, and she glimpsed through her tears that Aeris had departed.

Gathering what physical strength she had, she stood and walked along the wrecked street, deciding to head somewhere high. Maybe she could get nearer the green swampy sky. Her arms folded over her chest, she dug her nails into her arms, generating pain, but she wanted the knife-like pressure, needed it. She desired something stronger more piercing to overpower all her inner grief, so she didn't have to feel it. Losing her balance, she half fell against a jagged rock wall, not caring that the fragmented concrete cut into her skin, drawing blood. Holding her pounding stomach, she stared down and thought of the life within her. How she loved it so much and she mumbled under her breath, "I loved you, little baby, I hope you know that…" She had been so selfish, and now she had doomed the infant to a life of misery along with everyone else?

"I won't be able to protect you all of the time."

From behind her spoke the one person she wanted to see most in the whole planet and yet now she couldn't bear for any more of her known world to crash around her. Not him too. She bowed her head avoiding his eyes. "Cloud…" she caught a sob in her tightening throat. If she looked into his eyes and saw disapproval or worse contempt she would be shattered, even if he didn't love her. She was afraid of his words as if they could penetrate her soul and have command over her heart and life. She had given him that power. Let him in, given him access to her heart and thoughts.

"There's not much I can do for you now," he said quietly and there was a sterile coldness to his tone that she had never heard before. "I warned you this would happen."

She sucked back her tears. "I know, you were rig-"

"But what can we expect? You never asked if I wanted this baby. You never asked me or my opinion. Even when I wanted to move, you didn't consider me."

Tears rolled down her cheeks at the annoyance in his voice. "I'm sorry..." she turned slowly, wanting so much to see him, but not wanting to see his scorching blue eyes. Her heart leaped at the sight of him in his riding clothes, the same as when he left. Everything about him was the same, it was perfectly him. The way he stood, his feet evenly apart, his hands splayed at his waist. Her eyes skimmed over his burning mako eyes boring into her face and they were full of derision. She wanted to cast herself into his arms, but she couldn't. Every wall was shooting up in protection. Moaning, she fell to her knees that were already torn and bleeding.

He went on, his tone uncompassionate, "It's too late for that now. Look at the mess it's caused, not only for us but the whole planet. I always take a back seat in your life. The bar, the kids and now a baby." His hand rubbed his temple in irritation and he said with severity, "It's turning into a big mistake."

The baby... a mistake... I am... She cried pitifully and mumbled something incomprehensible. On her hands and knees, her tears gushed onto the ground as she cried her wretched heart out. After a moment she reached for him out of desperation. Looking through her wet blurred vision she saw him walking away, "Cloud…" she moaned from a shuddering chest. Uncontrollable wails overwhelmed her body for some time.

Finally she decided to move, at least away from that spot. Away from everything and everyone. She wanted to go higher up, for some reason she couldn't determine. Letting the tears fall without hindrance, as well as the blood from various places over her body, she started climbing upwards. She used the last of her strength to climb and jump up ledges and fallen pillars to reach one of the highest places of the ruins. She didn't know why she wanted to, she just wanted to go somewhere and rest and not get up again. Ever. She thought if she could be nearer the green sky that would be better than the bleak pits of the ruins below. Than maybe she could die with some peace. If peace could truly happen in this place.

As she bounded up the top, she recognized the area, but couldn't say where or what it was. No matter, on reaching the top she near collapsed. With no will to move, she sat sitting on her knees on the harsh flat stone, looking up at the dirty green. She sobbed with abject sorrow and flagrant despair. The pain around her stomach flared up more agonizing than ever. The infant seemed the only one present in her insane afflicted world who didn't have a voice to condemn her. Was the baby really a mistake? I loved you more than anything. But now she was saddened beyond belief, for she no longer had any strength to protect it. Didn't they want her baby out there in the world? "Maybe somehow you will escape this place, my baby—"

"Pitiful human."

It was a deep voice, one she had heard before. A voice from her nightmares. She glimpsed through her fringe, curtaining her lowered face, legs and chest attired just how she remembered him. His silver hair flowed gently by his waist.

"I have come to finish what I failed to do." His melodic voice crooned with evil intentions.

How fitting that Sephiroth be the one to kill her. Just as it should have been so many years ago when she should have died. How many times had she faced this man? It seemed an endless battle in her mind that no one knew about. Not even Cloud knew how much she feared this man. She could stand and try to fight him. But even if she wanted to, she was frozen to the spot. Weariness dulled her senses, she had no more power. Her strength had always come from her friends, all her courage was from them and for them. Now she had nothing inside only a weeping sore over her heart. She was powerless and helpless in the face of her nightmare. She remained on her hunches ready to sacrifice herself and the baby for the planet, just like Aeris did.

Septhiroth flung his head back and laughed cynically. "Weakling. Humans are all the same."

Staring at the ground, she watched the blade hold steady inches from her heart, ready to pierce her flesh. Deep down somewhere buried in her heart, she knew didn't want to die, because the only certain thing she recalled about herself was she never gave up. From some feet away came a noise and Sephiroth moved abruptly, causing the tip of the sword to penetrate the muscles of her shoulder. With a sharp cry, she slumped onto her side in defeat.