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Published: 2011-02-20 02:20:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 248; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 6
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You want to play the blame game? With me?! Well, we all know who will win. Why? Because, let me think. You were the one who left. You were the one who ignored. You were the one who lied. You were the one who cheated. You were the one who spread all the rumors.And what have i done? Nothing but take it! Wordlessly hoping that they wouldn't believe you. Hoping that they would know me well enough to say, no, she wouldn't do or say that. To say I believe her over you. To say that she is a good person.
But they didn't. They believed you over me. They believed the liar and tore me to shreds. So lets play the blame game with that on your head.
And afterwards, I left. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't just stand there and let them wear me down to dust. I couldn't let them turn me into nothing, a whisper in the wind passing by, and flying away as if I never existed. And yet they are doing this to me still. I left, but how can I completely leave when I am trapped, confined to the same place that you are?
I see you all ever day and it takes something from my heart and soul every time that I walk down the hall and pretend I don't see you. I don't know if I will ever see the light again. I don't know if I can ever be happy.
I have a sanctuary. My best friend. But I don't see her as much as I would like. Once a week maybe. And she can't save me from what is happening to me. The cold dark shadow of a hand the clenches at my still beating heart. It is taking hold of me. Its gaining control. Every time I see my sanctuary the pain lessens.
But the effect never lasts and I sink back down.
Down the river, down out to sea, down to the bottom of the ocean cold, wet, dark, and silent. Oh so silent as I numb out the hurt and I numb out the sad haunting words you put in their mouths. The sun can't reach me down here and the dark takes over all I do and how I act. The brightness of the sun, its hope and light, will never be able to reach me again.
This is where I shall be if I don't get out, if I don't get away. The dark is in me; there is no hiding that. Maybe one day there wont be so much of it. This is my hope that I hold on to. That light will always be able to reach me and make me numb from what I know is affecting me more than I like to admit.
But I don't know. I don't know if I can make it through this dark tunnel. There is no light at the end sometimes. It is just a never-ending dark, used as a trap to gather souls into despair. But what did I do to end up in this tunnel?
That's right we are still playing the blame game. And now that you know this, the other side of the story that hasn't been told, the side of the story that has kept quiet, that has been muzzled by fear, by hurt, by sadness, by loneliness. Now that you know this side, my side, you wont even think about playing the blame game with me.
What blame is on my side? I didn't lie, I didn't cheat, I didn't ignore, and I didn't spread false information, rumors. All I have done is taken it, quietly and only complaining to myself. Do you know how that feels? No. No you do not. Reading this has given you a small sample of what I feel like every day.
But you have lost the blame game.
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Comments: 3
GTDL [2011-02-20 02:22:03 +0000 UTC]
Words of truth and love<3
These are the words of a true poet.
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