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IS LIFE FAIR WHEN YOU SEE SOME GET EVERYTHING ,SOME GET JUST ENOUGH, AND SOME JUST WIND UP WITH NOTHING AT ALL/ BUT WHY DOES THE ONE WHO DOES GET SO LITTLE ALWAYS IS THE ONE WHO TRYS SO HARD TO HELP EVERY ONE BUT THEIRSELF AND THAT SAME PERSON WOULD GIVE UP MOST ANYTHING JUST TO SEE ANOTHER PERSON SMILE OR NOT GO HUNGRY,OR JUST PLEASE SOMEONE. I GUESS THAT PERSON IS VERY HAPPY INSIDE OR NEVER HAS A WORRY OR MAYBE PLEASED BY PLEASING OTHERS. IVE KNOWN A FEW PEOPLE LIKE THE ONE WERE TALKING ABOUT AND OF THE TWO I KNOW THEIR LIVES WERE DISASTERS AND IF ANY ONE WAS ALOUD TO HAVE A CHIP ON THERE SHOULDER THEY WOULD BE THE ONES . ONES BACK GROUND STARTED AS THEY WERE RAPED REPEATEDLY FROM THE AGE OF ABOUT SIX TILL THEY LEFT HOME AT FIFTEEN AND THIS WAS DONE TO HIM ALONG WITH BEATINGS THAT WERE AS FREQUENT AS THE RAPES .HE WAS ADOPTED WHEN HE WAS A SMALL INFANT TO A FAMILY WHO SEEMED MIDDLE CLASS,A FAMILY THAT EVERYONE LIKED AND WANTED TO KNOW AND BE FRIENDS WITH. AND I ASKED HIM WHY HE DIDNT SAY ANYTING TO ANY BODY SO SOMETHING COULD HAVE BEEN DONE AND HE SAID FOR MOST OF HIS YOUNG YEARS HE THOUGHT THAT WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO HIM WAS NORMAL AND EVERY CHILD HAD TO GO THREW THAT BUT AS HE GOT OLDER HE FOUND THAT ,THATS NOT WHAT WAS GOING ON IN ALL FAMILIES UT HIS FATHER WAS QUITE A BIT OLDER THAN ALL HIS FRIENDS FATHERS AND BY LISTENING ALOT HE NEVER HEARD ANY ONE TALK ABOUT HAVING ENCOUNTERS WITH OLDER WOMEN ALL THE TIME AND NEVER BEING MANHANDLED BY MOTHERS ,OLDER SISTERS AND AUNTS AND OLDER COUSINS SO WHY WAS IT THAT HE WAS THE CHILD OF SUCH AN EVIL UPBRINGING. HE SAID THAT HE WANTED TO TELL HIS FATHER BUT HE JUST COULDNT BECAUSE HIS FATHER WAS SUCH A WONDERUL MAN, HE SAW AND HEARD FROM HIS FATHER THAT HE LOVED HIS SON LIKE HE WAS GIVEN TO HIM FROM THE GODS AND GAVE ANY SPARE TIME TO HIS SON AND TAUGHT HIM ALL THE RIGHT THINGS IN LIFE HE SHOWED HIM HOW TO TIE HIS SHOES ,RIDE A BIKE,HOW TO READ AND ENJOY ANYTHING THAT WAS AVAILABLE TO LEARN ,HE JUST GAVE EVERY BIT OF ANY EXTRA TIME HE HAD TO HIS SON AND HE SAID TO ME HERE WAS A MAN WHO GAVE UP HIS LIFE JUST TO HAVE THIS SON AND HE NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE CHIDREN GAVE EVERY BIT OF KNOWLAGE TO THE ONE AS HE SAID HE WAS BLESSED TO HAVE. I LOOKED UP TO HIM AND LATER AS I GOT OLDER BECAME BEST FRIENDS WITH MY DAD AND STILL TO THIS DAY HAVE NEVER MET SUCH WONDERFUL PERSON AS THAT OUTSTANDING HUMAN WHO LOVED ME SO MUCH. HE ADORED MY MOTHER SO MUCH SHE WAS THE APPLE OF HIS EYE HE WORSHIPPED THE GROUND SHE WALKED UPON AND HIS MIND THAT WMAN WAS PERFECT SHE WAS HIS WILL FOR LIVING SO HOW COULD I TELL HIM OF THE EVERY DAY BEATINGS AND THE ASULTS ON MY BODY BY MY OLDER SISTER AND AUNTS AND FEMALE COUSINS AND THE TWO FRIEND OF THE FAMILY BABY SITTERS AND FEMALE TUTOR WHO ALL BEAT ME BADLY AND RAPED ME FREQUENTLY AND ALL SAYING THE SAME THING THAT IF EVER I SAID A WORD IT WOULD DESTROY ARE FAMILY.AND THAT TO ME WOULD DESTROY MY FATHER AND ABSOLUTELY BRAKE THE ONLY LIGHT IN MY LIFES HEART AND DAMAGE HIS FEELINGS FOR EVER ,I COULDNT DO THIS TO HIM AND EVEN TILL THE DAY HE PAST AWAY NOT A WHISPER OF THE GOINGS ON WAS TOLD TO HIM.I STARTED TO LOOK INTO THEIR HISTOIES TO SEE IF THERE WAS ANY JUSTIFICATION TO THE BRUTAL BEATINGS AND THE SEXUAL DEVIANT BEHAVIOURS OF THESE PEOPLE ,HELL FOR THE LONGEST TIME I HAD MY THOUGHTS THAT EVERY FAMILY WAS LIKE THIS ,IT WAS SOMETHING THAT WOULD PASS AND GO AWAY ONE DAY, BUT I WAS SO WRONG. IT GOT WORSE TO THE POINT THAT I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE BEING PUT IN THE DRIER TILL I SCREEMED OR TIED UPSIDE DOWN AND HAVING MY AIR BEING PLUGED TILL I PAST OUT OR GOD HELP ME IF I PEED MY SELF THEN THE BEATING TOOK ON A HOLE OTHER MEENING AND I COULD BE LEFT IN THE BARN TIED UP AND BRUISED OVERNIGHT IN THE DARK AND COLD AND I COULD HERE ANIMALS AROUND ME BUT THANK GOD I HAD A BULL AND A COUPLE OF DOGS THAT I BROUGHT UP SINCE THEY WERE BABIES SO THEY PROTECTED ME BUT OF COURSE DURING ANY OF THRERE ABUSIVE PLEASURES MY ANIMALS WOULD BE TIED SO MGOOD LIFEATY ASAILANTS WOULDNT BE HURT AND UNTIED AFTER SO THEY COULD HELP ME HEAL BY LICKING ME OR LIEING BESIDE ME I EVEN SAW MY DOGS ACTUALLY CRY FOR ME MORE THAN ONCE IT WAS SO VERY SAD AND BROKE MY HEART TO SEE THEM GO THREW THOSE HORRABLE DAYS. SO I LOOKED INTO THERE PASTS TO FIND THAT THE GOVERNMENT HAD PICKED UP ALL OF THESE PEOPLE AND SENT THEM AWAY TO THEIR GOVERNMENT SCHOOLSMANY YEARS PRIOR TO ME BEING PART OF THE FAMILY AND WHAT EVER THEY DID TO THEM WHAT I FOUND OUT IS THEY WERE NEVER THE SAME AS WHEN THEY LEFT. THEY ALL CAME BACK AS LONERS AND THERE SPIRITS WERE BROKEN,THEY ALL WERE TERRIBLE ACHOHOLICS AND NONE COULD STAY IN ANY KIND OF A RELATIONSHIP. OUT OF THE TWENTY TWO RELATIVES THAT I WOULD HAVE HAD FIVE NEVER CAME BACK, SIX DRANK THEMSELVES TO DEATH AND ANOTHER SIX NEVER CAME BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM AND REALLY WERENT HERD OF AGAIN AND THE REMAINING FIVE INCLUDIND MY MOM AND GRANDMOTHERAND GREAT GRANDMOTHER WERE THE HAND I WAS DELT. WELL IVE GOT TO SAY I LIVE THREW THAT AND FOR A LONG TIME I MYSELF WAS A VERY CONFUSED PERSON BUT I SOURHT HELP EVERY WHERE I COULD FIND IT AND BELIEVE ME THERE WAS NOT MUCH OUT THERE NOR DID ANYONE CARE TO HEAR OR DEAL WITH WHAT WENT WRONG IN MY SITUATION. TO ME THIS IS A VERY COLD WORLD WITH NOT MUCH CARE FOR THOSE WHO HAVE COME FROM THIS KIND OF A SITUATION . I EVEN LOOKED UP MY REAL FATHER WHOM HAS A FAMILY OF HIS OWN AND WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AND I WONDER HOW HE WOULD FEEL IF HE READ THIS AND SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME ,IT MUST BE NICE TO HAVE ANOTHER FAMILY AND TO NEVER EVAN TRYED TO FIND OUT MY WELLBEING.I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT IF IT WASNT FOR THE MAN WHO TOOK ME AS HIS SON IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ALOT WORSE AND IF IT WASNT FOR HIS LOVE FOR ME AND HIS KINDNESS I WOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO OVERCOME THE CRUELTY THAT LIFE CAN DEAL SOME AND IF IN ANY WAY HE CAN FEEL OR HERE ME I WILL ALWAYS LOVE MY BEST FRIEND AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND THE STENTH YOU PUT IN MY HEART THAT HAS FORGIVENESS FOR THOSE MISGUIDED SOULS WHO HAD TO DIE WITH WHAT THEY HAD DONE IT MUST HAVE BEEN HARD TO DIE WITH THERE EVILS NOT CLEARED FROM THERE HEARTS.BUT WHAT THEY HAD TO GO THREW MUST HAVE BEEN JUST AS EVIL OR WORSE. AND THE REMORISE I FEEL IS THAT I COULDNT KEEP A FAMILY TOGETHER MYSELF BECAUSE OF WHAT THOUGHTS I LIVED WITH ON A DAILY BASIS WAS NOT FARE TO MY CHILDREN ,SO I HOPE THEY READ THIS ONE DAY AND UNDERSTAND I WASNT WHOLE AND A PRODUCT OF A HORRIBLE PAST AND ALWAYS AFRAID I MIGHT TAKE IT OUT ON THEM AND IN MY MIND FOR THERE SAFETY AND CHANCE OF LEVEL AND GOOD UPBRINGING I LEFT THERE LIVES TO GIVE THEM A HAPPIER CHANCE AT A MUCH REGULAR LIFE .I LOVE THEM ALL AND WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN WHAT THEY NEEDED BUT I WAS A VERY INSIDE BROKEN HUMAN WHO PROBLY WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. REAL FAMILY LOVE. ...............D BAIN.....