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DreamerLucifer — . Shout It Out .
Published: 2008-03-20 05:56:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 2758; Favourites: 67; Downloads: 62
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** disclaimer **this is not directed at anyone, or caused by any one event, I had started it months ago, but had always been afraid to upload it. It's not meant to offend anyone, okay?
The downward spiral reverse technique, SHOUT IT OUT!
-- to my irl friends, some of you know some of these, and sme of you don't, but please don't be too judgmental.
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Comments: 108
your braver than me, i really wanna do the shout it out but i dont think id want to post it 
and p.s., im afraid of the dark too
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I cried when I saw and read this. To think that I pitied myself for so long makes me feel selfish. >.<
I don't know you well, so I can't say that I'm your friend, but I wish there was some way for me to help. Even if it's just to encourage you to speak out like this or you need a listening ear I'm here to help. ^.^
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That was intense but I feel like I know you a little better now. 
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Hey Laz. It is amazing that you had the courage to upload this! I understand a few of the things you are saying because some of that stuff has happened to me. And I know this is going to sound totally corny or something but I think that everyone has someone that truly knows them, they just haven't met them yet or don't know it. As for feeling like you don't deserve things in your life, from what I've seen I think you are a good person who bad things have happened to. Sure every person has there faults but who doesn't, you just have to find out the good things about yourself to!
Everyone suffers in some way, all you can really do is look to the future and hope for the best! Because even in all the bad stuff there has to be one good thing.
I also think that more people than you think put on a happy front for there friends because they are afraid that if they show more of there true self they will be abandoned or they will hurt their friends with there burdens, but people can't do everything by themselves, so sometimes you just have to take the chance like you did. Maybe it will help me to! 
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I don't believe I'd have the courage to upload one of these even if I took the time to fill it out, but I'm very glad that I got the chance to glimpse more into your life, even though I've not talked to you very much... right about now I wish I did, especially when I live that much closer to you than most of everyone else.
Its like.. almost a crime not to know you better than I do D= though I know you have friends around you, and I'm very glad for that ^^" I wouldn't like knowing if you lived your life alone with only online friends.... but I'm very proud of you for posting this, to let others know about you, and I spent 15 minutes wishing that I could just cuddle you to death and tell you everything will be ok and that your friends wont ever judge you harshly for these things... and for some of these things you've said, I share, and I know slightly what you go through... just not all of it by far.
You're a great person Laz, despite these things 
And if I used aim or msn as much as I do, I'd ask for your sn/address D: but I use yahoo the most, and msn on meebo whenever I remember too
and rofl, long post
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I think it's very brave of you to upload this, I used to make similar collages from snippits from magazines, it's very liberating although I don't think I'll be uploading them any time soon >.< As I said, very brave!
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Wow, that's really sad. Poor Laz
Don't ever lose faith. What's bad already can only get better.
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You are indeed very brave, not just for posting this but for looking inside yourself to bring it all out.
I admit it breaks my heart a bit seeing you saying some of the same things I would say, if I were to do this. They're things I hate that anyone would have to go through, ever.
It makes me see you as a very strong person now (though I didn't see you as weak to begin with).
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IJustHaveReadEveySingleLineYou'vePutUpThere, ButYouKnowWhatIDiscoveredThatIReallyHateTheMostAboutYou..?? o.o
NOTHING.. *HugsAndPats* x3
P.S;YouARE ABetterPersoneCrystal..
PlzFronNowOnStartHavingMoreTrustAboutYourself JustLikeWhatEveryoneElsHaveAboutYou.. <3
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Aww... it makes me sad to read it, I didnt know you were going blind D8 D':
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awww, my poor friend. 
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DD: *lots of hugs* i never would have imagined any of this, its heart breaking... *more hugs* you got an understanding person in me if you ever need one v.v
we have the same type of an anxieties so i know how painful it is v.v but i can only imagine everything else v.v
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Awh laz ;.;
i cant say that these things apply to me too but ...just so you know. im here if you need me. Im a very good listener <3333
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I know how important it is to get stuff out and I really hope posting this does you much good.
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Aww Laz. 
To me you appear to be an exceptionally strong person, I'll stop rambling now, *hugs*
Personally this is what I would call art, a piece with true, felt meaning, one that makes the artist think twice before posting it.
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i forgot to add the hug. stupid sleepyness. *hugs you tight an doesnt let go...*
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i dont think anyone will hate you for posting any of this
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lots of hugs for you 
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Wow intense.... 
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Aw I'm so sorry for all of this, these are really sad
Heh I fear to have friends too since I have lost so many "best friends"... And I fear they will lie to me so I push away many people
Please don't worry, and try to enjoy life, the moment!
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aww =3 be happy
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There is something I've always said that I don't think people realise..
"It's not what one says that you should be afraid of... it's what they don't say"
Many people like yourself hold in so much of your pain and grief either because you feel there is no one you can trust with the knowledge, or for fear that they won't care. You've had a lot of pain to deal with and it's not going to go away easily, though I really do hope that at least getting it all out, even if you do delete this, has helped you in some way.
Any IMO anyone that can't accept you because of this isn't worth the time
And always remember, you are never alone.
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I feel you on some of those insecurities. Let's be insecure together! *hug*
*feels safe* =3
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I do not know if you consider me as a friend, due to the short length of dA contact I've made, but I'm always trying to make more as I've been doing with you for the past few months ^^
I'd love to be able to talk to you more and possibly become good friends
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D8
You need a hug.
I may no' be one of your well known buddies or what no', bu' I'm happy you posted this. I's good to come out like this; I envy you for being able to. I'm sure it'll help in the long run, cause tha's wha' I've been told. <<"
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i understand some of the fears and frustrations youre going through, ive been through alot myself and it has been very hard for me to deal with it. and im still dealing with it really...i had to continue to fight hard to do so.
be strong girl and you'll make it X3
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I'm so sorry 👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Aw, Laz. I think it was very brave of you to post this. I still love you all the same...if anything, I think I understand you better now.
I have to ask, do you have MSN? Because I'd really love to be able to talk to you outside of Shin's Den.
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yes I do, let me note you the screen name
and thanks... It really means a lot to me.
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I want to help, but do not know if it would make things better or worse.
I can only repeat what has been told to me: that perhaps by being willing to reveal this you have begun dealing with all that troubles you.
But know that there are those whom you do not even know about that care about you.
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I wonder if that is the case, I hope so. Time after time they tell me I have to accept things in order to move on, but I don't understand what it means to do so.
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Unfortunately, nor do I. Perhaps that is the last step?
Maybe acceptance is when you can remember without the sharp pain? I do not know, and I do not think I could tell you if I did.
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I still love you just as much, whether you believe it or not and whether you even know who I am.
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thank you so much...
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There is no difficulty in love. I see no reason not to love you, so why not? 8D
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okay, and now that i got the obligatory *hug* out of the way, time for some real thoughts
i think you're one of very few people that genuinely tries to deal and has a reason to be upset by many things. whether or not you believe me to be a friend is your choice, but i try my best to live up to the title when people name me as such
you know i don't mind you venting, screaming, pleading, and being pissed. you have just as much privilege to be as any other person on this planet, and then some. and i'd be a liar if i didn't relate to some of what is listed on this piece.
so, not only do I like that you did a shout it out piece, but i wish you would say it to some of the people that put you through this garbage... or hell, give me a list and i'll be a loud mouth for you 
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I do believe you are a friend, believe me, It's just that no matter how hard I try, I can't justify any reasons to myself why they would want to be my friend. And many usually just want to be my friend because they can get something out of it... (not really referring to people on DA)
the odd thing is, at this very moment, I don't feel quite as bad as I normally do. I think that's why I was able to upload this.
I still can't believe I uploaded it though, I'm kinda shaking. I have such a massive fear of rejection.
and lol, my doc. keeps telling me to do things like this, and I always laugh at him nervously.
and thanks, I know you would voice it all for me
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everyone fears rejection to some extent 
and no... that's not awesomeness.... that would be me enjoying my domineering bitch instinct
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Way to go for posting that. I don't know anyone who would, due to the fear of being rejected.
We all have our faults; but after reading that I look at you no differently.
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thank you... It means a lot to me that it doesn't change your opinion.
I've been back and forth over posting this for a long time, and for some reason, I just needed to post it tonight. I guess it would be similar to the feeling of needing to yell or scream irl.
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