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Published: 2006-08-16 18:57:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 468; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 8
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The moon sat in the dark midnight sky. Stars speckled the vast blanket of the night sky. Each one shimmered and shined. They merrily smiled down on earth’s people. They lighted up Mother Nature’s beauty that was hidden in the darkness of the night. But one star is not shining in the night sky. It is missing from its spot.Feet tread the soft dirt of the earth. In the night, the ground is moist. But they are silent as the grass and moss muffles all sound. Gold eyes, as gold as the sun, that shine in the night, look eagerly to the front. The eyes never move, the feet know the path.
In a forest, hidden by the trees, a maiden stood with her hands clasped before her. Her blue eyes dance with excitement. Her wavy brown hair hangs untied down to her slender waist. She is dressed in a white gown, embroidered in gold. Her small feet were in gold slippers. Before her was a lake, in the middle of the dark forest. The reflection of the moon shone in the ripples of the calm water.
There was a rustle in the bushes to her left. Her water eyes hurried to the source of the sound. Standing before her was a male that shimmered slightly with golden light. His gold eyes looked into hers and his smile mirrored her own. He wore white gown with a golden rope tied loosely around his waist. His arms were bare and his chest showed slightly. The gown ended before the knees and his feet were bare.
Their feet began to move as their eyes stayed connected. Their fingers intertwined as they stared into each other’s swimming orbs. He gently pulled her slim figure to his chest and wrapped his lean arms around her and held her close to his heart. Her head lay on his breast as she listened to the beating of his beautiful heart. She closed her eyes and listened as she breathed in his strong, unearthly scent. A small smile strayed on her lips as her body melted into his.
He was warm, he was beautiful. He was more than anything she could ever hope for. He was hers as she was his. They stood in each others arms until he shifted and tilted her face to look at his. His pink lips parted to speak.
“You missed me,” he stated.
She nodded her head in reply, then responded, “You did too.”
His answer shone in his eyes. It always did. Their love was no secret between each other.
His pink lips lowered slowly towards her rose ones. They met and once again their bodies melted together. Their lips parted hesitantly. Blue eyes met heavenly gold ones.
“Do you love me?” she asked him.
“Yes,” he replied. “You do too.”
Her eyes shone with adoration of him, he could see it. Their lips met once more.
Hand in hand they walked the ground of the night forest and the edge of the shimmering lake. The night sky was beautiful. His gold eyes often stared up at its beauty with sadness. But when he felt the soft skin of his lover beside him he smiled.
Under an ancient oak they kissed. Their eyes met and her head nodded gently. He lowered her down to the ground and their bodies met in a new way that they had not met before. Flesh to flesh they rejoiced in their love for one another.
Her beautiful face rested on his breast and her ear was against his heart. Eyes closed she listened to the beating of his heart. His arms were around her and held her close to his heavenly body.
The air began to warm and his golden eyes jerked open. He quickly stood as she clung to him desperately. Tears weld in her eyes as he dressed. His eyes continuously looked up to the sky that was slowly lighting with the rising sun.
“Stay. Please, stay,” she begged him.
His eyes looked at her with fright. “I can’t. The moon is fading.”
Tears began to fall from her eyes, down her cheeks. Her lips trembled as he continued to pull away from her groping hands.
“The night is ending. I must be going,” he told her.
She pushed herself into his chest. He looked at her with scared sadness. He gently wrapped his arms around her bare body and rested his cheek on her head. Then he pulled away. Her eyes were still swimming with tears. He gently kissed her red, trembling lips. Then he back away. His body began to disappear. Her hands reached for him but touched only air as he fully vanished.
She fell to her knees with a sob and held her heart as she cried to the ground. He left her again as he always did. As she cried, the sun warmed her bare skin and she felt anger towards the glowing orb in the sky. She looked at it through her tears and sobs. But the sun just looked back with peacefulness and warmth.
~~~~~
The maiden walked through the village with sadness and misery. Her heart was covered by her hands. But she hid her sadness with a smile. She hadn’t seen him in three nights. Did he lie when he said he loved her? Did he fake his kisses? Did he not feel passion when they made love that night? Thoughts ran through her mind as she continued to walk.
There was a loud ruckus in the center of the village that caught her attention. She made her way over to the commotion and her heart stopped. Standing in the middle of the crowd was her lover and next to her another man, who’s glow was even stronger than his. Her lover’s hands were behind his back. Her eyes widened as she realized what was happening and a gasp escaped her lips. This caught the attention of her lover and the other man. Her lover’s eyes turned desperate as he shouted to her.
“Run! Leave! Do not stay here for a moment longer!”
In a blink of an eye there was a dagger pressed against the throat of her lover. His gold eyes glanced at the man next to him and then back to his beautiful earthly lover.
“Is this the woman?” the other man asked calmly.
His gold eyes lowered in sadness.
The other man spoke once more. “As punishment for your earthly behavior and breaking the laws, you shall be put to death.” The maiden gasped and tears filled her beautiful blue eyes. “As you punishment, human,” he spoke with disgust, “you shall watch as your ‘lover’ is punished.”
Gold eyes flew to the man next to him in shock. Death he could handle but having her watch was worse than anything that could happen. Her innocence would be tainted and he didn’t want her stained by his bloodshed.
“Please don’t,” he begged. “Don’t make her watch. Do anything you want to me but don’t let her watch.” His eyes pleaded with the god beside him.
But the god just repeated, “She will watch.” The god and the unearthly lover beside him began to disappear but before completely disappearing he stated, “In two hours you will be taken to the ‘Hill of Life’ where the ceremony will take place.” Then they disappeared.
The maiden broke down in tears and fell to her knees, sobbing.
~~~~~
After the two hours were up, the maiden was taken to the Hill of Life as told she would. The sun was beginning to set and the sky turned blood red. On a large, flat stone knelt her lover. His head was hanging and his hands were tied behind his back.
The maiden ran to him and lifted up his head to look at hers. His once beautiful golden eyes now looked empty. They moistened once they saw her.
His voice cracked as he tried to whisper to her. “I’m sorry. I never wanted…I never wanted this to happen.”
Her eyes filled with tears at this and she pulled him into her arms. Her lips whispered into his ear, “I know. Don’t worry. We’ll meet again someday. I-I love you.”
“I love you too.”
She turned her head slightly and her lips touched his in a soft kiss. His lips pushed into hers as she clung to him. A hand touched her back and she looked up to see a glowing goddess with golden hair and eyes as her lover. The woman’s eyes were filled with sadness as she motioned for the girl to move away. The maiden looked back to her lover who looked at her with tears in his eyes.
The girl stood beside the goddess that looked like her lover and watched as the ceremony started. A man spoke but her ears didn’t catch the words as she looked at her lover with sadness. A golden light surrounded him and he began to disappear but this time it was forever. She cried out and began for him. Her hands gripped his shoulders and tears ran down her face. ‘I love you,’ he mouthed and she kissed his lips.
The goddess that looked like her lover called to her as she cried and clung to the air that stood in her lover’s place. The words were hollow. Her lover was gone. She would never see him again. The hand was on her back again. One phrase caught her attention and stopped her sobs.
“You will see him soon, I will help.”
“Why? Why would you help me?”
“He was my twin brother.”
“But I was the cause of his death.”
“You were the cause of his happiness.”
“Why would you…”
“Because I don’t want my brother sad and even if I’m not the one making him smile, I want him to. So I will do whatever it takes.”
“How?”
“To join him you must drink the nectar of a golden fruit and then you must drown in the lake of the moon at midnight.”
“Where’s the fruit and the lake”
“I have a fruit.”
“The lake?”
“I’ll show you.”
“When?”
“Meet me at eleven here.”
~~~~~
Eleven came and the maiden had returned to the place where her lover had died. As promised the goddess had come and in her hand was a fruit that shined with golden light.
“Follow me,” the one who looked like her lover spoke.
The maiden followed.
There was the lake. The lake was clear and beautiful. In the reflection was the moon. The reflection of the moon shined white.
The goddess pulled out a blade of pearl and sliced the golden fruit. She held it out for the maiden to take. The maiden put the fruit to her lips and drank the nectar from the meat of the fruit. Then she looked at the goddess who nodded.
She walked to the lake and stepped in the water. It danced around her and invited her in further. She continued in until it was up to her waist. She turned around to the goddess that looked like her lover who nodded and then she continued. Soon it was up to her chin but she didn’t stop and continued on until she was under. She floated in the water. Soon her lungs were burning and her chest was shooting with pain. But she stayed under. She breathed in water and then she saw something. Her hands were glowing and then her fingers began to disappear. Her eyes widened in slight fear as the rest of her arms disappeared. She closed her eyes.
~~~~~
When the maiden’s blue eyes opened she found herself floating in the air but she was surrounded by nothing but white. Her first thought was that she hadn’t drowned and it had all been a dream but then she realized she wouldn’t be floating if it had been a dream. She looked around with scared eyes and her hands were clasped to her breast.
A light shone before her, blinding her. When the light faded away, before her was her lover looking at her with a smile. Her eyes lit up and her fears dissipated. He held out a hand to her and she reached out to it. Their fingers intertwined and she felt him pull her towards him.
Once she was in his arms, he whispered, “You came.”
“I told you we would see each other again,” she replied.
His finger lifted up her chin so he could see her face. She was smiling calmly.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you too.”
Their lips met and their bodies began to glow. Slowly, their beautiful bodies began to vanish. Together they became two stars in the night sky that during the day, when the stars were gone from the sky, they danced together along the galaxies and the rings of planets, never growing old or weak. They still dance but at night they return to the sky as stars that shine as the brightest stars in the night.
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Comments: 12
aislynslaine [2006-09-01 23:27:38 +0000 UTC]
Hi Darlin
I finally got time to read your story... I like it much, but I think there are a few grammar errors which may need to be corrected. This is a very professional and emotional piece and I think that if you were to go over it and double check the few (and I do mean few) mistakes grammar wise, it would help to do this piece justice.
The only other thing I find about this piece is that it is so vague. It feels like it lacks important details that would help the reader to understand what is going on. What you have is a short story as compared to a poem, which means you have more room for discription and embellishment. I think a few more details and background information would make this a lot more effective, too. More details will help to bridge the gap between the spaces which are separated by "~~~".
The concept is great, and you have a good mind for coming up with effective wording about the two lovers. Keep at it and don't stop. Everything gets better the more you work at it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
dreamsofagirl In reply to aislynslaine [2006-09-02 03:30:01 +0000 UTC]
Yay!!! Someone who actually criticizes my work! I really appreciate it. I hope that my next piece will be better. ^___^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
aislynslaine In reply to dreamsofagirl [2006-09-02 10:20:24 +0000 UTC]
haha, I'm glad you weren't offended by it or anything. I still really like it, but I just found myself sort of puzzeled I guess when I was reading it. It left me wanting to know more and a little disappointed that I didn't get the answers to some questions that the story made me wonder about.
Good Luck with your next story!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
dreamsofagirl In reply to aislynslaine [2006-09-02 18:13:02 +0000 UTC]
Of course I'm not offended. That's why people post work on here. It's so they can improve. I think. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ReverseTheEclipse [2006-08-18 00:42:33 +0000 UTC]
Gosh, you never cease to amaze me it seems, (and hopefully you never willl cease to amaze me ) Anyways, I love it, it's a sweet idea, and you turned it into something awesome. Needless to say I love it ^-^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
dreamsofagirl In reply to ReverseTheEclipse [2006-08-18 03:48:22 +0000 UTC]
Aww thank you. I'm glad you think that way. -^_____^-
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ReverseTheEclipse In reply to dreamsofagirl [2006-08-18 19:13:57 +0000 UTC]
Of course, it's no problem.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
animefangirl24 [2006-08-16 19:34:49 +0000 UTC]
Amazing job! I love it! It's really good! Another great story!
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