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Published: 2010-03-26 16:42:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 7874; Favourites: 213; Downloads: 0
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Description
self-portrait with Jen TCopyright: me
Rolleiflex
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Comments: 21
I think that overall this is a great shot. The dark shade of the couch and the soft background perfectly set off the models. It is visually interesting and well-composed.
There are, however a few things that do bother me about the shot. First of all, I don't like the angle of the shelf/ledge in the background as it is not parallel to the edge of the shot itself. This has a tendency to throw the viewer off and make them a little uncomfortable. Unless that was your goal, I would straighten that line.
I also think that the small items in the background serve as a distraction. Unless they are essential to the shot, I would eliminate them.
I think that one of the keys to this piece is your title. If you want to have some fun, then put something in the background that is mentioned in the title. I have always liked that idea, almost as if to say "if you are looking at the models, you are missing the point ...they just happen to be in the shot." It might be a bit odd, but I always like that sort of sense of humor.
As far as the models go, this is a fantastic pose. They are connected, yet compliment each other perfectly. The only change that I would make is to either have both models completely in the frame or both going out of the frame and shooting closer. Either one would work for me.
All in all, a very nice piece!
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I see your point about the background, but I guess it doesn't bother me. This was meant more as a portrait than a 'fine art nude' or a figure photograph, so I don't mind having bits and pieces of Jen's life in the top edge.
The title is not meant to be a key to this piece. dA forces us to title our submissions, so that is just where I landed for this photograph. 
I do appreciate your critique; it's well thought out and I definitely learned from it. Thank you!
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Most welcome. I always enjoy your work. I wish I had your talent.
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Aww, cute. Really like that face on the chest position.
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Looks soft... Is that your chest she's resting on, or vice versa?
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This is terribly sweet and beautiful. Great photo.
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It's a simple portrait that, for reasons I have difficulty putting to words, really does work for me. This is a lovely picture...
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You're so cute, one of the few nude shots of two girls that's actually meant to show love and affection. 
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really nice. Good to see some film shots. Which film did you use?
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Sorry I dont have time for a real critique...so suffice to say it's a lovely intimate, shot which conveys a sense of friendship, intimacy and humour between you. My only issue (If I had one!) is the cropping. I have had this dilemna time and time again, whether to leave all of the figure in or not. Cropping of figure photos is like amputation, you have to decide where to do it (Above or below the knee???) and then apply it to all. I think if the background was not too cluttered it wouldbe nice to see all of both figures, with perhpas just the hair leading out of the frame.
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This is square film and I didn't do any cropping, but I'm guessing you mean the framing in general. There was a slight issue of clutter, not to mention that it's a self-portrait so was done by a timer on the camera. I'm actually quite happy with how it's framed, but I can see your point. The way I see it, it's mainly a portrait and not meant to be "figure" work... yet the lines still work to my eye. Thank you for your thoughts!
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It's a lovely shot, I was just trying to do the critique thing. I thought it had been cropped and didnt realise it was a square format, so apologies. It's such a lovely portrait, you should be very happy with it.
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