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Echo-of-Echo — Grey
Published: 2013-01-11 15:08:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 1173; Favourites: 45; Downloads: 7
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Description
My first visual poem, forgive it's simplicity.Related content
Comments: 27
When the structure is complicated 'tis best to keep the words simple.
Saw it in SheDares ' journal.
Steve
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This is such a beautiful description of light. Great job with the image, too!
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It is amazing. I have never seen anything like this before. The poem was great, but the imagery is amazing.
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Thank you, you're very kind.
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I really liked how you put this in a spiral I thought that made this even more interesting. I also thought the description of the light was beautiful. Well done.
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The spiral shape makes this poem just that extra cool.
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Thanks, I've wondered since posting whether I should have just left it, so thanks for your comment.
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^0^ No problem. Was this your first poem?
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No, just my first (and only) visual.
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Quite a nice poem, and the spiral only makes it better. ^^
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Beautiful and fun to read. I like the way you presented it!
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Wow I'm impressed, it's very elegant and the word picture is well portrayed.
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The words are beautifully written; it would still be just as lovely as a traditional poem. That being said, I love the spiral. Nice job!
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This reminds me of something similar I did long ago [link]
Although your version (this spiral) doesn't directly relate to what you're talking about, it is still neat. However, there seems to be a common misconception when you categorized your poem as 'Visual & Found Poetry.' What you have here is visual, but it's not visual within 'Found Poetry.' It is a 'Concrete Poem' via a visual/design made completely out of text to relate to what you are talking about. That's the challenge of a Concrete Poem, and I cannot really say this one overcame the challenge. However, it did achieve a story, even if it is a common one, then again, not exactly in the way it was told in some areas. Perhaps it's not the poem but the title itself could have used a touch of mysteriousness than a title that sums everything up in a single line.
I think the most stunning and original bit of this poem is the beginning, Quote, "The sunlight pours through the leaves high above me." End of quote. It is a simplistic line when read or said aloud, but required some deeper thinking than usual on how to word it in such way. A deep-thought quality is something I look for in the written word and it seems you ran with it.
Anyway, continue with your writing and don't let up. You'll only get better.
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I love this. Very well written and displayed amazingly.
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Wonderful - I started reading the wrong way - but soon figured it out.
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Yeah, I was worried about that... But thanks.
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There's nothing in the poem that connects it to the idea of a spiral - yet it feels natural. And he idea - how could I have not seen such a thing? Just comparing a dream with reality. But one needs to know how to describe the dream, and I love how you achieved, grasped it.
Also! I decided to share this masterpiece in my group, I'm sure they'll enjoy it!
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Wow, thanks so much.
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There is nothing wrong with simplictiy.
I think thisn has been well written even though the point where the navigation swaps direction caught me unawares initially.
Well put, I think.
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