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Published: 2012-08-29 16:13:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 6866; Favourites: 86; Downloads: 12
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Description
First of all,I want to say I'm sorry if my grammar very bad because English isn't my first language. But, I hope this story is full of fluff because that is what I want to write :3 and sorry if Ludwig a bit OOC.
Everyone will say ____ and Ludwig are actually best friend since little and actually not. Well, when they were little usually they will in a broken tree and staring at a sky. The most strange is they are just awkwardly silence and not talk just staring at each other or staring something interesting for them.
Like usual, they go to a park where the broken tree is. The boy looks like usual, messy hair and blond with clear blue eyes. Then ____ come and just sit down beside the boy. But, one day ____ move to (town name) and leave the boy alone. The boy feels curious why ____ not in the broken tree like usual. Then the boy runs into ____'s house and feel upset because when he see, the house already empty. The boy looks disappointed because he never knew the girl's name.
When ____ at the road, she still want to know about the boy's name. What she knew, that boy has the clearest blue eyes ever she met. ____ Just wondering, when she meets that boy again.
After 20 Years….
Then, ____'s age already (insert age what do you want) and back to (childhood town name). She just wondering, will she met the boy once again and if she meets, she thought that boy already big. She just smiles when sees a park when the broken tree was. Then ____ start to search the broken tree's place and just found the broken tree turn into a big oak tree and a bench.
"Wow! So… the broken tree turn like this since I leave this town? Then… how about that mysterious boy who always sat with me? I want to know his name…"thought ____
She feels tired because she has walked around the town almost one hour. When ____ sit, a tall man sat beside her and reading a book. ____ see the man and feel curious, she wants to ask him but she can feel the intimidating air around him and refuse to ask.
But, when ____ see the man's eyes, she amazed by the color of that man's eyes. Those eyes are the clearest blue she has ever seen and unconsciously staring at those eyes. Of course that man realizes it and began to turn into ____'s face and he starts to blush.
"Excuse me? I…Is something w…wrong with me?"said that man
When that man says it, ____ shock and blushing. She drops his face down.
"No.. Nothing and sorry I stare your eyes like that"your faces became redder.
"I..It's okay"
"Y..You know, your eyes remind me with a boy I met when I'm still little… I just wondering whose that boy's name… a.. And he always with me and has never spoken just smile or look at other kids.. He seems so lonely"
That man looks change into a shock state and look at ____'s eyes . Once ___ realize the man was a boy she used to know and now she found the boy turn into a handsome man. Of course, ____ blushing again.
"So…. Sorry… but what's your name?"Ask that man
"O… oh… My name… _____, _______ ________"____ introduce her name.
That man smiling and offer his hand. When you receive his hand, he shook his large hand with gentle movement because he afraid to hurt her hand.
"My name is Ludwig, Ludwig Beilschmidt"said that man
"I..It's nice to meet you"
"Me too" ____ smile
Then they are just silence like when they little. But the awkward silence broke after a man with red eyes and platinum blond come closer. That man smiles at the two peoples then greet Ludwig.
"Hallo Ludwig and wohoo!! Looks like finally a cute girl is interest with you! Kesesese.."
"S… Shut up bruder!"Said Ludwig and his face became red
You just giggle when sees Ludwig's face.
"Wow… he is cute when he embarrassed"thought ___
Ludwig notice ____ giggle and his face now red as tomatoes, but his brother just laughing when sees his little brother's face.
"West… Why you don't invite your girlfriend for dinner?"Ask Ludwig's brother
"Ju.. Just shut up be… because I want to ask her and she isn't my girlfriend!"
When ___ hear what Ludwig says, her face became warm and red. But her eyes full of happiness when hear that.
"I.. I'd love to come"said ____
Ludwig face looks happy to hear that, his heart actually pounding very fast and once again his brother starts to laugh hysterically and stop it when Ludwig punch his right hand brother. Now, his brother looks very hurt.
"I didn't expect you would do that"said Gilbert.
Ludwig looks very satisfied when hear his brother said that. Then Ludwig looks at ___ face once again and begin to blush again.
"We..Well when you already? Because I want to pick up you.."Said Ludwig
"Maybe… 8 o'clock"said ___
"Okay"
Then Ludwig and ____ go to their home to prepare anything. ____ feels so excited because she finally knew about that man and more happy when he invited her for dinner. ___ then take a bath and choose (insert favorite clothes). After that she wears a thin make up, just a bit powdery. Because Ludwig not arrive yet, she chooses to read a book while waiting.
A few minutes later, Ludwig comes to pick you up. He comes with a Mercedes-Benz car luxury class and it's made you shock a bit, how can a young man can like that? Is he a CEO or something?. When Ludwig sees your appearance, he is instantly blushing.
"You.. You're so b.. beautiful"said Ludwig
"Th… thanks"___ reply Ludwig with shy tone
Ludwig smiles to you and open the car door and let you in with a gentle manner. You just smile and blushing. When driving, ____ and Ludwig awkwardly silence.
"Yo.. your car… what type of Mercedes?"Ask you for broke the silence
"Mercedes-Benz W221, why?"Said Ludwig
"You.. Um… isn't that luxury class?"
Ludwig awkwardly laughs.
"J..Ja, I mean yes and I have a company"
Her eyes widened, so this guy richer than her think. She just silences and think very deeply. After a minute, finally ___ and Ludwig arrive at the Ludwig's house. When you see his house, your eyes widened.
"I… I thought his home more big than this…"thought ___
After ____ come in, her eyes widened again because the Ludwig's house very clean even not any spot in it.
"So… sorry if my house like a mess"said Ludwig
"No! Your house very clean even spotless.."You said awkwardly
Ludwig just smiles and that's made your blushing like tomatoes.
"His smile is so cute!"Thought ____
Ludwig led ____ to the backyard and she very startled because the backyard turn into romantic table. Ludwig just smiles with ____ reaction. Then, they sit and start talking.
"Thank's for inviting me to a romantic dinner like this…"said ____
Ludwig blushing again"no problem and I… I think y.. you b.. beautiful tonight"
____ just smile and close her face to hide the blush. After a few minutes, a man with strange curl bring two plates of Spaghetti and he smiles to ___.
"ve~ Ludwig says you are the prettiest girl he ever met"said that man.
"I.. is that right?"ask ____ to Ludwig
Ludwig just silences and his face turn to that man. He stares that man with deadly stare and cute man begin to cry and beg for apologizing. ____ just giggling to see that man's reaction.
"*cough* sorry for that… and let's eat"said Ludwig
____ just nodded and they began to eat. They eat silently.
"Err… ____"call Ludwig
"Yes?"Respond ____
"W.. will you be mine… my girlfriend?"
____ stop eating her spaghetti and she stares Ludwig with confused looks. Ludwig just blushes madly and looks in another direction. Then, ____ looks very happy.
"Of course I will! I'm very happy to hear that!"Said ___
Ludwig's face change into happy face, then ____ kiss him.
"W.. what are you doing?!"Ludwig very shocked
"First kiss and that's my prize because you told me your name"____ said innocently
"W.. what?!"
"kesese… WEST GOT LAID!"everyone will know who says that…
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Comments: 51
DarkCupcakeQueen [2014-05-17 11:04:42 +0000 UTC]
Even though English isn't your first language, you did a pretty good job compared to others I have seen. Have you though of having an English speaking beta? It might make your job easier as well as help out with some of the grammar confusion! I would love to know what nationality your are too?!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
DarkCupcakeQueen In reply to DarkCupcakeQueen [2014-05-17 11:05:37 +0000 UTC]
sorry thought, not though!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Vontage116 [2013-11-20 02:47:50 +0000 UTC]
aside from the grammar very well done and just out of curiosity what is your first language?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Sushi-Cutie [2013-10-29 02:25:19 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, the English really needs some cleaning up. It's kind of hard to read because of all the incorrect grammar. I know it may not be your first language, but try not to butcher another person's and leave it there, yeah? It's like an insult, almost. ANYWAYS, good story. The story itself didn't really have any problems, though it was a bit short, and you could've added more detail. I think it could be a sensational story, if it was cleaned up and tweaked.^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Sushi-Cutie [2013-08-20 05:46:27 +0000 UTC]
All you have to do is the simple stuff, like turn
that into zhat
or
we into ve
It's quite simple, I hope it helped.^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Nals-luff [2013-05-23 05:57:07 +0000 UTC]
xD The grammar was VERY confusing. *stupid grammar nazi mode * But it was good, all the same.
I was like, "Dat picture where'd she get it?" and scrolls down to description...none. xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Ecilainhetalia In reply to 98brabbit [2012-09-04 08:22:44 +0000 UTC]
Sure.... Sure he will!
Thank's for comment! :3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ed63 [2012-08-31 08:22:25 +0000 UTC]
Terus terang, ini pertama kalinya ane baca fic dgn genre spt ini ^^
Kesan ane: SO CUTE! <3 <3 <3
Ane jd ngebayangin diri ane sendiri jd cewe s fic itu XDD #ngarep
Fic ini romantis bgt n maz Luddy jd super sweet kalo deketan sm si cewe (jd ngebayangin deh)
Bang Gilbo emang 'perusak suasana' yg sukses wkwkwkwk #ditabrakPanzer
Btw, gara2 fic mu ini, ane jd ngarepin kalo ane bisa melakukan hal2 gila bersama bang Gilbo di dlm sebuah cerita fic #disambitGilbo
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to ed63 [2012-08-31 11:10:15 +0000 UTC]
makasih... genre yang imut dan kalau di ff
gk akan ketemu XD
gk apa2 sedikit ngarep bwahahaha
makanya disebut reader-insert
emang paling enak kalau ngerusak suasana orang pacaran,apalagi kalau ada temannya se-AWESOME Gilbo XD (pernah ngeganggu orang pacaran di kls )
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ed63 In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-01 05:58:05 +0000 UTC]
Oooo pantesan ane g pernah ketemu genre ini d ffn
Btw, kenapa begitu?
Mimpi itu gratis n g merugikan org lain
Oh ya? Apa ngeganggunya kyk cara Gilbo gitu? XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to ed63 [2012-09-01 08:38:05 +0000 UTC]
kan genre di ff itu cuma dikit
iya,mimpi yang berlebihan XD
bukan sih... tapi malah dibentak (kebetulan itu lagi MOS)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ed63 In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-01 19:34:01 +0000 UTC]
Hmmm...aneh deh -__-"
Tp ane mau coba bikin kapan kapan...ane pengen bikin bang Gilbo x reader, inti ceritanya 'how to be a biang kerok' #ngaco
Hidup mimpi! XD
Aihh...MOS, gak enak DX
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to ed63 [2012-09-02 02:20:42 +0000 UTC]
yah,liat aja genre disana gk ada action thriller... bahkan rate-nya cuma sampe M, bukan MA
bikin aja! :3 penulis dari Indonesia itu sedikit tau! bahkan kalau ditulis pake bhs. Indonesia nambah unik
OH YEAAHHH!!
saya yg jadi panitia MOS-nya.. cape #curcol
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ed63 In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-02 17:51:43 +0000 UTC]
Iya sih...action thriller nya gak ada. Tp siapa tau aja nanti ada yg nulis genre gituan
Rate MA itu apa ya? #ndeso
Hahahaha....tp ane masih mikir, kira2 gimana caranya jd biang kerok bin ajaib ya? XDD
Oooohhh pantesan, semangat ya
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to ed63 [2012-09-03 13:24:16 +0000 UTC]
gk tau tuh, minta aja ke admin ffn
Mature Adult (bau yg begituan XD)
bikin bareng yuk!
udah nggak jadi panitia lagi sih
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ed63 In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-04 04:15:20 +0000 UTC]
Hadeh...males deh mintanya -__-"
Btw, andai kita bikin fic dgn genre action full throttle, kita masukin ke genre apa?
Rencananya (entah kapan realisasinya) habis bikin fic ane yg ini, ane pengen bikin fic genre history/action (tanpa pairing n romance) saat WW II, tp setting tempatnya bukan di eropa...kl diposting ke ffn, kira2 masuk genre apa ya?
Ooohh...genre favorit para pervert XDD
Oke, tapi yg ide yg ada di kepala ane malah, bang Gilbo jd pemimpin tim biang kerok, nah...readernya jd anggota tim biang kerok yg naksir si abang
Brarti MOS nya udah selesai dong
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to ed63 [2012-09-04 08:25:38 +0000 UTC]
katanya sih udah ada yang minta,tapi gk ditambah aja sama ffn
tau tuh.. saya aja bingung! >_<
berarti setting AU?
beneran gk tau sama sekali
Bad touch trioo! ayo bikiiinnn!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ed63 In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-05 08:03:02 +0000 UTC]
ffn gak peka sm keinginan 'rakyat'nya
Entahlah...ane jg bingung mau mutusin pake setting AU ato real world -__-"
Pdhal di kepala ini rasanya pengen bgt bikin sesuatu yg super action n less drama lho #jiwaTomboy XDD
Kl gitu, mgkn bakal ane pertimbangkan lagi soal rencana fic ane ini...
Hehehehe...tp gmana awal ceritanya ya? #bingung
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to ed63 [2012-09-05 14:15:21 +0000 UTC]
tau tuh, bahkan ada beberapa yang minta diperbolehkan reader insert lho!
:q
saya juga pengen, eh tau nggak di ffn ada juga sih yg bikin nama username dia Ryu3oktober (temen fb juga) judul ceritanya "When They Disappear" liat deh! keren banget ceritanya!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ed63 In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-06 02:51:31 +0000 UTC]
Menurut ane, genre reader insert bukan sesuatu yg haram kok...kan itu jg termasuk hak -__-"
Ah! Ane tau dia! Kemaren sempet ngobrol jg d ffn...cm ane masih malu2 sm orangnya ^^"
Oke deh, ane bakal review ceritanya
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to ed63 [2012-09-06 11:11:43 +0000 UTC]
memang, malah bikin fangirl nambah ceria XD
yah... dia juga masuknya malu-malu sama orang yang baru dikenal
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ed63 In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-07 03:44:33 +0000 UTC]
Setuju! Membahagiakan org lain itu pahalanya besar
Yep, ane kyknya butuh banyak ngobrol sm dia soalnya ane tertarik sm isu yg dia tulis d fic nya itu
Ane udah review, n ane sgt seneng sm fic nya
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to ed63 [2012-09-07 09:43:21 +0000 UTC]
tentu aja~
dia bikin fic langsung sekeren itu! saya liatnya iri
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ed63 In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-08 14:40:20 +0000 UTC]
Sama...ane jg iri sm kemampuannya bikin fic bagus
Hmm...apa km sering ngobrol sm dia?
Ane jd tertarik bwt ngobrol sm orgnya cuz sptnya dia punya banyak wawasan n yg penting bukan rabid fangirl ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to ed63 [2012-09-08 18:40:37 +0000 UTC]
asyik kok, dia suka banget kala udah ngomongin masalah hubungan luar negeri tapi alaynya dia itu gk ketulungan dia itu sebenernya cowok, jad dia itu fanboy XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ed63 In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-09 15:29:44 +0000 UTC]
Asyik! Akhirnya ada jg temen sehati
Ehhh??? Beneran cowo?
Alay gimana maksudnya? O__o
Wah...pasti imut juga punya ototou kyk dia ^^v
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to ed63 [2012-09-10 10:19:25 +0000 UTC]
yah... dia emang enak diajak ngobrol
makanya waktu chat lewat fb, dan bilang "saya suka kartun (dibilang kartun karena gk tau bedanya manga sama kartun) yang kamu suka itu looh!"
yah sering heboh sendiri dan gitu lah..
ehhh???
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ed63 In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-10 14:41:35 +0000 UTC]
Oohh gitu ya
Tp kykna dia g gampang percaya sm org lain ya ^^"
Hahaha gak apa2 XDD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to ed63 [2012-09-12 12:32:01 +0000 UTC]
yup!
keliatannya sih iya, tapi yang pasti dia malu kalau pertama kali kenal XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ed63 In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-12 17:20:04 +0000 UTC]
Hehehe no problemo! Yg penting kenalan ngobrol2 dulu aja ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Ecilainhetalia In reply to Mossstar10 [2012-08-30 15:09:12 +0000 UTC]
of course he is the most awesome brother after all!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
DiPaura [2012-08-30 00:19:52 +0000 UTC]
I really enjoyed this, though the grammar was a little distracting. May I suggest getting an editor? Other than that, the story was VERRRRYYYYY cute. ^____^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to DiPaura [2012-08-30 00:42:35 +0000 UTC]
i knew it...
yeah,i need editor for my stories!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
DiPaura In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-08-30 00:58:45 +0000 UTC]
I could do it for you if you like! **is a grammar snob**
Hey, no sulking! It was good! REALLY good, actually!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to DiPaura [2012-08-30 08:44:02 +0000 UTC]
I need it and i love it if someone help meeee!
yeah... but the grammar...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
DiPaura In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-08-31 00:04:46 +0000 UTC]
Which is totally chill. I've seen MUCH worse from my class mates. One guy submited an entire research paper in TEXT TALK. Not to mention all the "gangstas" do that stuff too... So trust me, it is not that bad. I'm just a HUUUUUUUGE snob about it. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to DiPaura [2012-09-01 08:42:50 +0000 UTC]
i knew grammar always to be a serious problem because sometimes peoples not notice it
and actually, grammar is my weakness
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
DiPaura In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-01 15:29:50 +0000 UTC]
We all have it. Mine is my vocabulary use. I constantly use said. No other word like chatised or yelled. They all "said" stuff. XD I'm not creative.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ecilainhetalia In reply to DiPaura [2012-09-01 16:05:15 +0000 UTC]
yup!
and now actually i have a stories and it turn into sequel, i think....
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Ecilainhetalia In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-02 02:21:38 +0000 UTC]
and now i try my best to make my grammar more good than before
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
DiPaura In reply to Ecilainhetalia [2012-09-01 17:30:20 +0000 UTC]
Seriously? That'll be awesome.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1