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EclecticCalico In reply to Kevrekidis [2011-10-29 07:28:05 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. XD

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EclecticCalico In reply to MysticalMysticism [2011-10-24 06:49:42 +0000 UTC]

Thank you, Stephie! <3

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EclecticCalico In reply to tatoyo [2011-10-24 06:49:07 +0000 UTC]

I love them too. This Summer they covered the whole pasture because I didn't mow and they were so lovely.

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tatoyo In reply to EclecticCalico [2011-10-24 11:23:24 +0000 UTC]

must be beautiful !

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EclecticCalico In reply to tatoyo [2011-10-24 12:31:01 +0000 UTC]

I think it is but some probably wonder why in hell i didn't mow. haha

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EclecticCalico In reply to arteater1 [2011-10-23 04:00:59 +0000 UTC]

I'm so happy to hear that you are getting on so well with Hanna! Cats really do help keep the blues at bay. I know that's why my Memaw enjoyed them so much too. She suffered so much and had so little help or support but everyone loved her. Even her cats knew she was a saint and worshiped her instead of themselves. haha
Thank you too for complimenting my work. I'm going to have to see about getting a bigger scanner because these photos just don't do it justice. Anyway, I love Queen Anne's Lace. They are wild carrots, you know. They just don't have the stuff that makes carrots orange and they taste rather bitter but are quite edible. I know I picked them for my Mom and probably my Uncle Billy. Memaw was highly allergic to everything and had asthma so they didn't stay in the house long but I picked flowers anyway because Billy never left the house and spent his days in that wheelchair. He really liked roses and irises. Sad I was probably the only girl that ever gave him flowers. I think it meant a lot to him. I like the dried Queen Anne's too because they have such a lovely shape and brown is one of my favorite colors if I can even claim favorites. I like ALL colors depending on what they decorate. Favorites as a whole are difficult for me. No favorite song or movie or anything. Do you think that is strange?

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arteater1 In reply to EclecticCalico [2011-10-23 16:20:44 +0000 UTC]

I have no idea if it's strange or not Harriette. I have 50 favorite movies and handfuls of favorite songs. To me it depends on what genre your speaking about mostly. Like last night, I watched "Gladiator" again with Russel Crow. I just love that movie. Yes I could do without all the violence of course, but it's a love story to me. It's about a man that loved his king, and family so much that nothing could stop him to make things right, and fulfill his promises at all costs, and against all odds.
The end of this film brings a shower of tears down my cheeks, as after his work is completed he goes "home." Perhaps this is my favorite ending of all time. As he gently pass's over to the other side, and opens the door to see his beloved family once again, and the pain melts away and becomes the warm bliss of affection and total love.
Harriette....I long for that day. At the very moment I lay down these words for you to read, my eyes are over flowing with tears, yearning for a rest and a time of peace. To feel true love one more time is what I used to live for, but not anymore. It must only come to me in that afterlife I guess, so I want to go now. I'm so tired of the fight, the struggle of staying alive. I want to feel good once again Harriette.... I was never made for this world and it's clear to me, and has been for a time.
You be good and all blessings in life be yours. denn

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EclecticCalico In reply to arteater1 [2011-10-24 06:34:08 +0000 UTC]

Oh, Dennis. I know. I feel the same way so often and I am surrounded by people who love me so much. I AM home but I am still so full of disappointment and so tired of suffering and watching others suffer I too want it to end sometimes. I slept all day today because I have a terrible headache and just couldn't face the pain. Nothing seems to make it better and I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up to another day of misery. I know I will feel better but for now it is just too much. I hate that you are going through such a bad time as well because you are such a good person and deserve to be happy. You should be rewarded for all of your past deeds and present kindness. I'm sure you have other friends on dA and other places that need you and appreciate you as much as I do so we want you to continue the fight and stay strong. I wish you comfort and peace, my friend.

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arteater1 In reply to EclecticCalico [2011-10-24 16:50:38 +0000 UTC]

How do you think I feel when I have no one at home except Hanna now, and she loves me only because I treat her like the best cat in the world, and then she sleeps 22 hours a day, so how much do you really get from them... I love her a bunch no matter what.
I want to sleep all day too, but I have so many things to do all the time, and usually it involves trying to pay something, or save my house or take care of someone else.
I've never in my life been through times as bad as this. I was happier when I had noting and didn't know any better. As for a reward.....hahahhahaaha......oh my, Harriette, the world doesn't work that way at all I see now. I've always longed for that to be true, but of course it isn't.
I'm watching a documentary at night about WWII and it's the best I ever saw. Way before my time of course, but It's so full of courage and great Americans at a different time. I also notice time after time that generals made mistakes and miscalculations and sent thousands of men to their deaths. At Normandy for an example we flew 20,000 airborne troops to enforce a certain line, and the weather was bad and 8,000 innocent beautiful men were dropped in the ocean by mistake, and almost none survived. The rest were dropped into enemy lines and killed or captured. I could list a hundred stories like this and I'm sure it was on all sides, of simply mass death by unfortunate incident or timing.
Some call it simple bad luck.
It would be very hard to convince me that god had a hand in 60,000,000 people dying in WWII. The toll was enormous and thinking god said it was time for all these people to die is ...well.....sorry but it's just stupid to conclude that. Were on our own dear, at least while were here.
I hope I have a home when I get outta here, because I had none while on this chunk of rock. I trust that one day you and I will be at rest and feel no pain or depression and see what it's like to glow with love....
I wish I could go now and get this over with in a way and yet I'm too scared I'm wrong about this too. Maybe there's nothing and the "Dust to Dust" quotes from the bible is just what it says.
I hope not.

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EclecticCalico In reply to arteater1 [2011-10-25 15:27:15 +0000 UTC]

I think a lot about you not having anyone at home with you actually. I wish we lived closer because I'd bug you. I think you have a full life and a lot of friends though and even people in a full household can be severely lonely. I am reclusive enough I wouldn't mind living alone too much I don't think but I can't imagine being without my family now.
I know we won't actually be rewarded but I will accept any wonderful random event as my reward anyway. I reward myself sometimes and I find that my kids reward me for all the time and effort I've put into raising and caring for them. These last few days Oliver has been cleaning and employing the girls to do their share to get the house really nice in case he gets selected to go to Germany. I am so proud of him amd the girls respond better to him than to me because they thrive on his attention but take mine for granted. haha
War and Peace talked a lot about war ,of course, and much of what he wrote was how these miscalculations occur and the minds behind the wars and the parts of every individual or group that causes certain effects. It is certainly nothing to do with predestination or divine power. I know that. Maybe all of this life on Earth is just so insignificant that God feels he can look away while we "deal" with it because it is only an infinitesimal of the whole picture. I sometimes wonder that but still doubt it. I think it's all we get. We should try to make it enough. I can't see death or anything else as "coming home" anymore. The end will be the end of suffering but not the beginning of peace. I think we have to grasp for peace in the here and now as impossible as that may seem. Mostly it is about our attitudes. Even when we are in pain we can for moments transcend the suffering and find a tranquil place if we learn how to control our thoughts. And after hurting I know I feel such relief when it's over. Like someone used to say about the guy who hit himself with the hammer because it felt so good when he stopped. hahaha Anyway, we're gonna be okay. Our failing health and negative attitudes be damned. We are survivors and good people despite what life has given us. I guess my art will be the something of me left when I'm gone but for now I'm still here and fighting. Glad to have you on my side.

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arteater1 In reply to EclecticCalico [2011-10-26 21:53:36 +0000 UTC]

Of the two choices....be so glad for your family. YOu guys all need each other, so it's a beautiful thing to have that. I know you treasure them all, even including ED...hahahhaha..... but at times we get in moods of course, and that's what makes us human. As much as sometimes people can get on your nerves....being part of something is wonderful, and kids are a great gift as you know.

Oliver sounds like such a good boy....I hope he gets a few breaks in life and is happy at whatever he does. You should be so proud of yourself, for making kids in your image and adding something good to this existence.

These kinds of conversations about life and existence, are surly among my favorites, but they take a toll on me writing everything out. Things are complicated, and proofs need to be given to support certain ways of thinking, and me talking about it is way easier than writing it all down, because there is so much to be said.
I remember telling you months ago that it makes a lot of sense to me that this life is so short, that perhaps it means nothing to god, and he knows we have eternity of good things to come, so why bother, and let us just learn. That makes for a good feeling of course, but cries out for just common sense, and in that area it lacks some power.

With all my brain power, the only way any of this makes real sense to me, is if god in fact has certain deficiencies or weakness's, and actually created us for a reason. I think perhaps it's possible we were given our 5 or 6 sense's so that god can experience this universe he created in a way he could not without sentient human beings providing feedback.

There are so many other things I've considered, and all of them lack some area or another, and yet seem possible for other reasons. I think it's safe to conclude that our human brain is not able to fully comprehend our own existence at this time. I sometimes think we are indeed close to being like cats or dogs really, and just don't have near the intellectual horse power to solve these mysteries yet.
The challenge for me is that I can't stop trying to figure out solutions for these questions, so it's obvious that one day we'll be enlightened about everything. For this to happen, first a paradigm shift must occur for all mankind, and it'll be then that a great vale of secrecy will be lifted for us to see what we've been missing all along. Perhaps a hundred or a thousand years from now is the time period, but one day we will all see those dimensions we're currently blind to, and realize this existence can't happen by itself, and there is a force that keeps this going and propels this whole strange thing forward.

Your words are always so kind and thoughtful Harriette, and I'm grateful to have a pen pal that has a brain and is grounded with goodness.
I thank-you for that gift.
I have to finish this comment in a note to you, as you'll see why when you read it.

Peace out!!! denn

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EclecticCalico In reply to arteater1 [2011-10-27 05:38:33 +0000 UTC]

I too have though on these same ideas. The one about enlightenment of another dimension is what I really used to believe but I somehow lost faith in that idea too. However, I will concede that this may be the answer. I just haven't decided. hahah I think if their is anything it is certainly beyond our conception in our present state.
I am grateful for you, my penpal as well, Dennis and for the same reasons.
No one else I know anymore thinks this way about life either. Funny we should have met. Maybe it was divine intervention. LOL

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