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elixirphoenix — At 21 Years of Age
Published: 2007-10-25 01:49:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 126; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description 21 years of age she died
At 21 years of age
All beauty and honour
Lay down at the door
She was out in the fields at
21 years of age she was out in the fields
At 21 years of age
But she forgot not herself
Her redeemer standing near
She knew not to lose herself at
21 years of age she knew not to lose herself
At 21 years of age
All others lay down arms
As false innocence ran away from her at
21 years of age false innocence ran away from her
At 21 years of age
Now she is murdered at
21 years of age she died
At 21 years of age
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Comments: 9

Juxtaposition22 [2007-10-25 14:38:49 +0000 UTC]

Pretty dark for a birth day poem.

No critiquing to do, I love this poem too... I'm not very judgemental am I??? I've never been good for editing anything but people's typo's.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

elixirphoenix In reply to Juxtaposition22 [2007-10-25 19:32:41 +0000 UTC]

I am sort of a dark person. Maybe one day I'll rival Poe! muahahahaha!
XD
You can practice. Don't be afraid to speak your mind

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

xRichyx [2007-10-25 06:29:02 +0000 UTC]

That was so beautifully written. It's one of my more favorite poems from you....Aww I'm at a loss of words.....

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

elixirphoenix In reply to xRichyx [2007-10-25 12:24:00 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

GrandLordAtos [2007-10-25 02:52:09 +0000 UTC]

I got nothin to critique on, unfortunately. Poetry was always just a little above my head. @_@

But I DID count the number of times "21 years of age" was said, and it was a fun 9 times. XD Any significance to that, or am I just being a bit 'Dur-du-hur'?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

elixirphoenix In reply to GrandLordAtos [2007-10-25 04:06:39 +0000 UTC]

You know your hair is also above your head.

I didn't plan how long it was going to be, so no significance there.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Warcow-Ushi [2007-10-25 02:11:42 +0000 UTC]

Happy 21 girl

*just figured out you were a girl threedays ago*

oh what a great watcher I am XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

elixirphoenix In reply to Warcow-Ushi [2007-10-25 02:29:44 +0000 UTC]

Just figured out I was a girlXD
And you were watching me for how long? Am I THAT flat chestedO.o
XD
And thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Warcow-Ushi In reply to elixirphoenix [2007-10-25 02:30:36 +0000 UTC]

No I had just never looked at your ID.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0