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EllieVyle — Lin-Pg 1 panel 1
Published: 2006-07-19 12:57:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 148; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 14
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Description
reworked version of the 1st panel of page 1 for the Lin comic because of 's suggestion.here's page 1 for reference: [link]
I'm trying to decide if I want to swap this in, or if I should keep trying for a differant perspective. I don't think the current first panel is conveying all the information I need in that panel.
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Comments: 17
Wow... this came out great! I love her face!
Really cool to see, this is awesome work!
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aw wow, thank you! I'm kinda flattered you took a look at this. Well, I'm open to any more critiques or suggestions. I haven't inked/finished this yet, so it's still up in the air.
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It was really cool to see. I don't really have any further suggestions. I think it looks great!
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I still think this image is a significant leap in a different direction for you, especially after our art discussion before you drew this. I like how this one turned out.
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Yeah, you've really been helping me see my drawing in a new light. I hope I can keep improving. Thanks for commenting....I really want to know what I'm doing right and what i"m doing wrong.
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No prob, and I'm sorry I didn't get to you sooner. Infact since my DA-ing has been so slow, the invitation for me to take a look in person is always open.
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Gotcha. Yeah, it is easier just to look over and ask you want you think. Miss you on DA though. I'm sure others do too.
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It looks amazing! I think the angle adds to the effect a lot.
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I came back in from work to see this on my laptop once I flipped open the screen 
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I edited this picture's description. Might solve some of your confusion. ^_^
Yeah, they're tears. being that they weren't very clear in my first attempt at this, I was kinda disappointed. I wanted them to be vague, but not invisible. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
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no problem! can't wait to meet up with the Madison crew again
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It looks pretty nice, but for the life of me, I can't remember if I saw the original or not. I can't really make a true call on how this looks if I can't remember/compare the original from this re-worked one.
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I edited the desciption to this picture with a link to the original page. That might help. ^_^
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It did indeed help.
Comparing this to the original, this is the better one. It gives you a clearer view of the girl and conveys her emotion more clearly.
One thing you might want to try out is see how this looks edited into the page itself and seeing how the panels flow together. As I read the page and go back to this, I think it might flow better if you leave the original panel as it is (without some of the sound effect wording) and then insert this panel between panel 1 and you're current panel 2.
The way I envision this edited comic in my mind, in the current first panel she's just waking up from drinking herself to sleep, possibly with a word bubble or sound effect of her moaning, and then this panel has her saying the 'What now...' amongst more knocking noises. To me, it seems to flow better this way.
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Thanks Kinny! I'll keep your suggestion in mind. I wonder how I'll be able to fit the extra panel in while still maintaining the page dementions, and if adding another panel will make "time" seem to drag on unreasonably, but I'll try a couple of differant layouts and see what works best. Thanks for the feedback...I really need stuff like that. And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to ya. ^_^
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You're more than welcome. I figured that you've been busy with other stuff and I'm a patient person.
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