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emptyechoes — Chiaroscuro
Published: 2004-04-27 02:25:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 134; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 12
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Description Chiaroscuro men
with cigarettes
like fangs
regard me skeptically
over warm margaritas.
How often I thought
I would lick the salt
off of their glasses
and sing them sweet melodies
like the finest wine;
but all I can manage
is cheap bottled beer
and haunted eyes.
"Sorry kid,"
says the bowl-hat,
"Maybe you'll get lucky,
but not tonight."
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emptyechoes - Glow

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Comments: 6

LazyLinePainterJohn [2006-05-14 23:22:27 +0000 UTC]

I like this and I'm too tired to wonder why, but I think it's in the "often wondered" - the temporal change gives it an extra dimension. It's beautiful.

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avintagelove [2004-04-28 02:14:45 +0000 UTC]

that's an amazing poem. i really love your word choice and how you broke up the lines. the imagery in the poem is great and i got a really good sense of all of the feeling.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

emptyechoes In reply to avintagelove [2004-04-30 02:23:52 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

PN-Guin [2004-04-27 03:48:51 +0000 UTC]

Moody and imaginative! Just abstract enough that you have to thing about it and follow it along..... very cool!

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thestoryendsx [2004-04-27 02:44:54 +0000 UTC]

i like it

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sconosciutonoto [2004-04-27 02:42:30 +0000 UTC]

really really like this piece. excellent imagery.
"cigarettes like fangs"--absolutely gorgeous.
keep writing.

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