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enigma-theory — Hope, Strength, Faith, Love
Published: 2010-01-30 17:14:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 891; Favourites: 23; Downloads: 11
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Description
Consumed with greed,Indulged with wealth,
Brainwashed with power,
Procreating ailment,
By lacking dexterity.
Ensuing half lit souls,
Facing turmoil,
Overthrown with ache,
Yearning for peace.
Despite misfortune,
Infuse hope,
Possess strength,
Acquire faith,
Understand love;
Condone tragedy,
Evade inequality,
Hope for beatitude,
Strength must conquer;
Strive to achieve,
Accept and believe.
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Comments: 22
I really really like this. You don't even need to elaborate one what you are talking about for it to be understood.
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hehe yeah that was my task for this one, to have it simple but effective. thank u very much
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I wanted to faint with that..
This took my breath away, yes..
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hehe aww
thank u for that.. im glad u liked it
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Short lines, simple, steady rhythm, and a powerful message all in one. Wonderful job. ^^
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thank u very much, i appreciate it
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Despite misfortune,
Infuse hope,
I like the rhythm you've got going here. I enjoy the pace and how all the lines seem to mingle together and become their own entity, showing scenes as they go along. However, I don't think that one line "Despite misfortune" belongs there..or just the word "despite" because that implies a subject when there isn't one. ^^ If you said "Spite misfortune" then it would make more sense and it would make the poem complete (to me) It's a great poem. ^^
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thanks for taking the time to give me constructive feedback 
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well.. I'll give it that spite is a harsh word. I still don't like despite, though.. it alters the verb-flow to me, makes everything a must-be present tense. Despite this that happened, we have done so and so. that's the feeling I get whenever I see that word. I keep racking my brain for a better word, but it always turns into a sentence (and I hate that..) you can't say "even though misfortune has fallen" and you can't say "gone through misfortune" or "through misfortune" I wonder if "experience misfortune/infuse hope" could work... "live misfortune/infuse hope" but I don't know if that works or not..I dunno, maybe I'm just tired. =[=
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hehe thats cool.. il have a think about what word i could substitute for despite.. but for now il leave it as is coz i have no idea what else to do with it at the moment
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This is wonderful (= The way that each line is just short and to the point makes it so much more powerful. I especially like the last lines, "Strive to achieve, Accept and believe." Such a perfect ending.
You've managed to pack in so much meaning that I've actually read it three times over now wanting to get every nuance of meaning out of it (= And I love that it progresses from a fairly bleak outlook on the world into a much more inspirational tone.
(Whooo, ramble! Sorry! xD)
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hehe its ok i rambles on ur poem, u have all the right to do the same on mine
and thank u so much for that i really appreciate it! three times a charm right?
ur awesome
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As are you my dear (=
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i like the way each line is so short but packs so much meaning behind it.
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Adamant. Driven. Outspoken. This composition delivers a powerful message, the way you manipulated the words in such a manner that you both kept me intrigued and conveyed a message across that was clear and sincere. Exceptional. Kudos.
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thank u so much for that.. u picked up the purpose of this piece perfectly.. and the things u said were a huge compliment for me.. i dont know what to say except thank you!
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Haha well that's enough, your very welcome.
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Haha your welcome.
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