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#dystopia #storytelling
Published: 2019-05-10 09:47:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 381; Favourites: 31; Downloads: 0
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Description
I was the mindwarden and I kept the sheep’s minds up the orders. The supervisor watched over us, and the rest, he would cover. I never could have imagined a better life more than to protect the others. Endowed with a gift, I experienced others and saw the world in each of its corner. They told me I could not be with the people for there was a border. At least, that was what they told me, such a bother.
We were promised a place where joy would last and sorrow would not follow. A place where our heart would not be as hollow. The raising up ceremony was just a beginning of a life start anew. A paradise awaited for both rams and ewes. At least that was for the ones who did their jobs well, all that we knew.
The sheep lined up for the occasional ceremony, mind filled with wonders. I felt the thrills as they lined up to the judgement chamber. Some were afraid, some were excited, and all their minds wandered. Holding to their ties, they all trembled. Those little lambs, what lied ahead their heads, I wonder? What happened behind that wall, not even, I can answer.
The sheep were valued as they were hired. All their works did matter and they were desired. One’s works determined one’s destination, for work in salvation was required. One should not stray out of the path and his safety would not be enquired. No need to question, it was a thing undesired.
Curiosity had been an enemy of ours. Threatening the orders, inflicting wars, and infecting the minds of others. Spreading like a wildfire, chaotic as a haywire. All we know, the consequences were dire. The shameful hang would face those whose from their jobs were fired.
Look at them down below. What did they do that blight to them they bestowed; death to the judgement they allowed? Why would anybody choose to go to the world down below? Did their minds get narrow? Did their minds went shallow? They could have just bowed, but to all the orders, they threw. To the world down below they go.
Days by days had passed as judged was the workers. People come and go, but here I lingered. Never going up nor going down. My neck was getting weary and my tie was starting to get brittle. The day of my judgement would never come, was I in fear. Even if I crossed out of the border, I know my tie would not hold me up any longer. I am getting tired and I am getting older. Afraid that my life will never alter. I was the mindwarden and I failed to keep my mind up the orders.
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Comments: 6
MrRemoraman [2019-05-14 00:49:23 +0000 UTC]
Man I like this! Perfect melding of prose and art
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
VictheNobody [2019-05-11 21:45:05 +0000 UTC]
Ooh I see the potential for a musical right here hahaha
But anyway this looks really nice! Love the colours and the atmosphere it gives off!
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
Epsenwire In reply to VictheNobody [2019-05-13 14:00:57 +0000 UTC]
I imagined it to be like the poetic speech right here , tbh xD That ostrich video kept inspiring me to make this writing, what a wonderful ostrich propaganda...
This project was supposed to be a school homework, but I scraped and replaced it with a clearer story. I figured out it'd be better for me to replace it with another story that can be more easily understood without the audience having to know, see, and read how the society of Stranglewind works. Y'know it might be a bit hard to comprehend the text when you haven't seen the settings. It was a flash fiction afterall, I can't probably fit all those lore in 1000 words or less xD
Aah, thank you sm, man!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
VictheNobody In reply to Epsenwire [2019-05-26 00:03:19 +0000 UTC]
Heck yeah love for ostriches!
Ahh I see haha, makes sense though. You can only fit so much onto a page, after all! What did you switch it to, just curious
No probs dude!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Epsenwire In reply to VictheNobody [2019-05-26 00:22:47 +0000 UTC]
I switched it to a story I call either "The Diary of A Dying Man" or "A Dead Man's Lament" (I liked the second title better, tbh)
I'm planning to post it here as well, but I still need to make the title banner thingie like this one post and maybe make some correction and proofreading.
I know that assignment was already submitted, but I'd like to take my time to improve it while I can :0
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
VictheNobody In reply to Epsenwire [2019-05-26 12:07:18 +0000 UTC]
Yeah I agree with the second one sounding better haha
Ooh take your time haha, I'm interested in the final product!
Ahh fair fair haha
👍: 0 ⏩: 0