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Eremitik — Condition
Published: 2014-04-14 14:15:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 589; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 0
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Description
The expression of forever is little more than a tired blink-A slow motion close
Of eyes too tired to take it all in;
A slack jawed yawn,
Mouth opening wide to inhale the conceptual,
A punctuation of finality, of boredom and confusion;
Eyebrows raised in amusement and curiosity,
Surprised that it tastes like nothing
We have ever felt or wanted
Forever is a sentence,
A sentient breadth of understanding just how long we don’t have
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Comments: 59
For me, Condition is about how most of us use "forever" without any real comprehension of its truth. Then one night while we are under the stars, pondering how little we are, how truly insignificant of a time span we are in comparison to the stars, it starts to dawn on us that we really know very little.
Thank you for taking the time to pull this apart like this. I seldom get anyone discussing the in's and why's of my work.
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I KNOW this feeling… Oh, I know it well. No wonder the piece spoke to me as it did...
SolitaireBrilliant, the inward joy
The sharp intake of breath
Held, in silence, alone
My empty arms cradling my shoulders
In this pause out of time:
An ocean of knife-bitten stars,
ancient beyond comprehension
Shards of shattered glass flung in dusty cascades
Wide across the darkness, wheeling
in stately cadence, the heartbeat of Earth
I take it all in
And do not share it.
MINE, they cry. MINE ALONE.
Inspiration withheld,
I am whole.
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I think those of us who search both within and without for answers will find something familiar in both pieces
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…Hark! Is that the voice of experience I hear,
echoing mine own thoughts, ringing in mine ear?
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I dost think that thou is correct. (I hope I didnt mangle that too much)
I do a lot of soul searching and keep things pretty closed up.
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MANGLED! 
Yeah… right there with you. The unexamined life may not be worth living… but the examined life is no picnic.
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Take a bow? I already have one. Here. Have an arrow.
Id like to say the mangling was on purpose but alas, it would be untrue. Do I get points for recognizing that it was mangled??
Im not a picnic fan anyway.
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DOH!
Yep. You get
Aww. Too bad! I pack a mean picnic..
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Sweet! Love me some points. If I get enough things partially correct, eventually I will be more correct than not.
Well, picnics are ok in early Spring when there are no bugs. Other than that? They ruin what can be/should be a nice time.
Whats your "go to" picnic dish?
When I go hiking and pack things to eat, a flask of reposado tequila, cheese, crackers, almonds/cashews are among the staples.
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Persistence wins the game, eh? 
Heh. Yeah. Bugs. I love picnics at high elevation. No bugs. Then again, bugs don't like me that much… I think I eat too much garlic.
Those are great! I also love dried fruit, kippered herring with Ryvita, and my curried tuna salad sandwiches… water and Trader Joe's juices… and Jolly Ranchers to suck on during the hike, to keep my mouth from drying out. Heh. Pickled eggs, which I make with tons of garlic and fresh dill. Protein AND salt… Homemade jerky is good for that, too! I love nibbling as I truck along, sharing what I've brought...
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Yes. Persistence wins the game. Its the only way I win, lol
Garlic is supposed to be natural bug repellent. Works on humans too. If only, right?
Curried tuna sounds amazing! Not so much the herring. Of course, if you were to drop the herring during the hike, you would then be suffering from herring loss?????
I like to find a nice summit to rest at when I eat. I dont multi-task too well so walking and eating isnt a good mix, lol.
Jolly Ranchers? Wow. Good idea. Never thought of that.
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Ah, persistence… that double-edged blade. Letting go has always been my Achilles' heel...
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well, garlic sure won't keep THIS girl at bay! (I think it's an aphrodisiac, personally…)
I made curried tuna this evening, just for you! Heh… did I mention I'm a cat? I lovelovelove fish… sushi is my favorite food! (But I'm fussy… I won't eat it here in Ontario. Not sustainable, and not good. I do make my own, from time to time.)
I can't multitask to save my life. Have to try the Jolly Ranchers thing next time!
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I guess I should clarify- persistence when its something I want, or interested in. I can let go of the nonsense.
Garlic as an aphrodisiac? Uhm. . . . Well, enough of it will make me swoon, lol.
Nope. So you are a cat, huh? Sure thats not a metaphor?
Sushi is ok on occasion. I do enjoy it but its not something I crave. I do like seafood and dont eat enough of it.
For the curried tuna? Do you use can tuna, as in a "tuna fish" sandwich, or is it like a tuna steak?
Thinking of Jolly Ranchers to wet your whistle, made me think of tequila, which made me think of making some kind of cocktail with melted Jolly Ranchers and tequila, which made me think of Jello shots. Damn. Its too early to be thinking of drinking, lol.
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THAT sounds like the Leos I know and love. I adore that follow-through. (I love their pure talent, too, and their showmanship…)
HEH! Garlic-lovers' club, unite!
Heh. It's only a metaphor in that I walk on two legs and wear pants. Much of the rest of me is feline.
Canned tuna, baby! Garlic, crumbled bacon, mayo, chopped apples and celery, curry powder… sometimes whatever else I happen to have around that looks like it'll be good in the mix.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It's after five SOMEWHERE...
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Showmanship? That is not a Leo trait I share.
I will pass on the garlic lovers club though. I can only stomache a little.
Ya, sorry. That was a "meh" double entendred play on words. Please accept my apologies for something so lame.
Thats an awesome mix, minus the garlic. Could use it in chicken salad as well. Now I am hungry.
It is five now. So what its a.m.! lol
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What — you don't make corny jokes and campy faces for your family?
Awwww… that's such a bummer! 
*SNERK* Ah, well… can I blame you at o-god-thirty in the morning?
The brain inane puns mainly in vain...
OMNOMNOMNOM! SEEFOODEATFOOD! (I just made scrambled eggs with goat cheese and heirloom tomatoes.)
…And on that note, cheers!
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Corny jokes? Oh yeah, absolutely. Thats not showmanship though. Thats personality, lol. Much to everyones chagrin.
Gee, thanks. Way to keep the new friend away.
You could but what would you gain?
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It's class clown showmanship that is UTTERLY a Leo trait.
Sorry… I'm a garlic FIEND!
…a groggy half-mumbled response?
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Ah. And here I was thinking it was just me.
Its cool. I work with a garlic fiend. At least I wont have to worry about vampires when I am with him, lol
Exactly! But then again, thats pretty much all of my vocal responses.
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I don't know how this was posted on my birthday last year and I didn't even see it. And the last line killed me... everything before that kind of has a slow lazy feel about it. Apathy comes through quite a bit. And then the last line is like a slap in the face..
Quite a wonderful experience to read.
Well done as always.
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Thank you.
I like how you picked up on the slow and lazy feel- no one else had. For me, thats the way revelations usually come- youre thinking about nothing in particular, mind swirling with ideas and thoughts that have no intended destination and POW. Mind blown, lol
I am glad you enjoyed this.
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I think the first and last lines reveal just about everything else you've captured in between - most concisely & beautiful in construct.
This is an absolutely gorgeous piece, and you ought to be feel very proud of it.
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In one sense, I could just keep the first and last line and get rid of the rest.
I am proud of all my pieces. I dont write often enough to feel "meh" about them, lol.
I am glad you enjoyed it though. Thank you so very much for the comment.
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The expression of forever is little more than a tired blink
that. right there. is a poem all on its own. that line is perfection. i think "of eyes too tired to take it all in" takes away from the opening line because of the repetition of 'tired' so close together. maybe use an entirely different word like "of eyes too hesitant/too afraid/too quiet/too exhausted" i dont know what word...but i just think that first line shouldnt have anything dampening it. in my opinion =]
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Nice catch. I did not pick up on that at all-
I am going to have to look at that a little more.
Ya, I love that first line. Ironically, I have a ton of first lines that are so much better than the rest of the poem, lol. I almost want to post them by themselves.
And Thank you, mate. I am glad you liked it.
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Would all the first lines work as a poem together hmmm? Could be worth a shot
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Brilliant!!!
I hope so now. . .
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Oh, Jason...this really hit a nerve today. A job well, well done.
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Thats what I told my dentist, although his name isnt Jason....
But thanks, Jessie. It just popped in my head and I had to write it- much like Slip did. I hope I can continue my writing streak but as I typed it, I just realized its been a week and I havent written a damn thing.
I did make pudding though.
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Oh, God I hate the dentist...absolutely can't stand it. Pain in my face I am a total sissy-ass about. Lol
You're quite welcome, as always. I liked it very much. Well, a week really isn't terribly long...it could very well come back around.
Pudding you say...What flavor? And did you have anyone wrestle in it?
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Pain in your face wimpy? I get that.
Oh, it was chocolate pudding. And no one wrestled in it, sadly. I actually have never seen anyone wrestle in pudding
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I'm not usually I wimp....I don't think so anyway lol
Oh, chocolate pudding is the best. I never have either but I have heard of it done so I figured I should ask. 
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I suppose you couldve asked me to wrestle in it. . .
And while I like chocolate, butterscotch is where it is at.
(in a shameless plug- I posted two new writings- well one "new" and one old one, edited. Im looking for feedback before I continue the second one)
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What would I wear!? I don't have any clothes or swimming suits I would be willing to stain with pudding. Nuh-uh, nope. And it's better for eating, anyways.
Oh, butterscotch is very good, too...
Oh, I need to go look then. I am off!
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need i say anything else???
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Oh, Jason! You're terrible.
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Who? Me?
(but really, we kinda knew where this was going....lol)
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Yeah...I suppose we did...Didn't stop us, though! Lol
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Just so you know, you started it.
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i read this piece with www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmqG_3… playing in the background, and i swear it feels so right.
your first stanza hits home. maybe because i took a big long toke while reading it, so everything became slowmo and i felt like what you wrote helped my eyes breathe a little in the moment. eyebrows raised in amusement and curiosity that yes the taste is not quite the way we assume it will be. "forever is a sentence, a sentient breadth of understanding just how long we don't have" i have never thought to calculate infinity this way, it's an interesting perspective. question though, did you mean sentience over sentient, or was your choice the latter? i haven't read your stuff in a while, thank you for bringing my attention to this lovely, arresting piece
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i can see how that song might enhance the poem a bit-
and I did mean sentient over sentience. as for my "work"? lol- i havent posted anything since late october besides some photos. When I was browsing your page on sunday, looking at your photos, reading your work, "condition" almost wrote itself- i left it alone until yesterday morning, did a quick edit in the form of a little restructuring, and posted it. i have so much more written but unfinished, one particular piece has been haunting me for almost a year, little whispers that goad and plead for completion, yet when i try i get nothing.
would you mind if i note it to you for your opinion?
and thank you. i am so glad you like it
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i would be honoured 
i've browsed through your photos before, but it's nice to know
that you're slowly getting back into writing. i'm excited to see
what you're working on. it really warms me to know that a simple
stroll through my page would allow for a stunning piece like this,
it really really makes me happy that you understand me more deeper
than just a poetic level, that my philosophical side isn't lost on you.
i've barely written anything since about october either, so there isn't
much there. i have a few pieces coming up soon that'll hopefully lend
to much captivation, if all goes well. <3
you are far too kind to me, good sir. far too kind.
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There is nothing simple about strolling through your page- from your photos to your writing, everything is magnetic, drawing you in, daring you to try and understand.
Your philosophical side is intriguing, and often times overwhelming- you see so much differently than I do that I dont always understand at first, or ever- but you make me think and ponder, and I know it leaves behind bits of you.
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that's all i can really hope for
and it truly means more than you'll ever know, truly.
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