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ErrorInTheSystem — I get it.

Published: 2013-04-24 21:49:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 229; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 0
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Description I know there are people who love me.
I know that they would be upset to see me gone.
I am upset because I do not love myself.
I am upset because I do not think I can do anything.
It doesn't help when people deny my claim anymore.
I always keep thinking this, and there's nothing people can do about it.
I am upset because I have the complete incapability of seeing what everybody else sees.
It creates the illusion of feeling unloved, unwanted, and unneeded.
I CAN'T do anything; that is because I refuse to do it.
When I actually try, I'll always do something wrong.
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Comments: 6

BloodyVocaloid [2013-10-05 03:55:58 +0000 UTC]

......

Unlike VocalKokoro, I can not claim I know what this feels like. I've read your description over and over and over again trying to imagine how you feel. And the pain is just....too unimaginable. I can't...
I wish I could help, but then I read the first three sentences....

I don't know if advice from a random strange will help you...... but maybe you don't NEED to love yourself. Maybe you don't NEED to do anything to change how you feel.
Instead of trying to force yourself to love yourself, which you've already found impossible.....perhaps you should focus more energy on loving and trusting your friends. Those people you said would be sad to see you gone.

Vocalkokoro likes to drown his pain by helping strangers like me through their problems. He focuses on other people's pain to curb his own. I don't know how good of a system this is, but maybe....you need to find a purpose. Something to fight for. If you can't love yourself....maybe you need to find someone....something... else to love and protect...

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ErrorInTheSystem In reply to BloodyVocaloid [2013-10-05 18:11:31 +0000 UTC]

Well, I'm not going to start a fight and favor any of you two. I understand that the both of you are trying to help, and it's the thought that counts. Knowing that somebody is at least trying to help.

And about the picture, this one is kinda old, I guess. The reason why I make these pictures is to help my pain in the first place. I make these pictures and vent, and it ends up being all better. Usually I forget why I was sad in the first place a month later and looking at this. I think the reason why I made this was due to a breakup. Even so, I don't care. The problem has been fixed otherwise.

Thank you for trying to understand, or not understand, I guess.

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BloodyVocaloid In reply to ErrorInTheSystem [2013-10-05 18:52:51 +0000 UTC]

I understand this was from a while ago ^^

But when I saw that not many people comment on your gorgeous work...it made me really sad. So I thought I should say something....even if it wasn't very helpful....

Oh and neither of us were looking to fight. I'm sorry if it appeared that way. We were just wondering if you wanted to be friends ^^

Ahaha. I'm glad you don't remember the pain that made this pictures. But I think it's good you have your art to focus your pain on. I do that a lot too!

Um.....if you ever are sad again though....I hope we can help in the future!

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ErrorInTheSystem In reply to BloodyVocaloid [2013-10-05 18:55:17 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.

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Vocalkokoro [2013-10-05 00:21:15 +0000 UTC]

I know what that's like. I'm so sorry you feel that way...

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Vocalkokoro [2013-10-05 00:20:52 +0000 UTC]

*Cries a little...*

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