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Description

"Hey, Greta, how we doing on corned beef up front? Wasn't sure if that big order cleaned us out or if- oh wait, thought you were someone else. Sorry. Ask Greta up front if I need to cut up mor- oh why am I asking you to- GRETA! HOW WE ON THE CORNED BEEF? OKAY, THEN I AM GOING TO START ON THE NEW PIGS! Now where were we? Ah, right, you're still here. Well, move it, you're in the way and I got chopping to do. What do you want? Actually, forget it, I know what you want. Greta let you back here, right? How much she ask for this time? I swear you desperate idiots are going to put her kids through school at this rate. You fools better not fund her an early retirement, though, I can't imagine this store without her! I'm best at the butchering, and she's the best at....well, everything else. Anyways, scram. Whatever you want, I ain't giving. Don't even start with the speeches, I have heard enough for a lifetime....What are you staring at? Hey, genius, eyes over here. If you are going to waste my time, at least look at me properly. The dummy is just to make things easier. Not like I got hands and legs here."

"Oh, this drivel again. Yes, yes, you have found the Slayer of Barquaan, the great Cleaver of Troltin, the legendary warrior that cut down the horrors of Ghanin and put an end to the Steel Dragon. Don't spit those titles at me, I know what I am called. Indeed, it is I who did all that, and its been a while since those days. Aaaaand here is that slag again, what did I tell you about speeches?! I know what I was, and I will tell you what I am now, and that is: done! Over it! Retired! Sheathed and never drawn! Those days are behind me and they aren't coming back! What do you mean 'why?!' You seriously barging in here to question my life choices? Oh, I know what you are thinking! That I lost and can't get over the defeat! That I grew rusty and am scared to show my weakness! Oh, you freaks got a dozen theories and conspiracies on why I hung it all up! No one can fathom the fact that I AM DONE! By the forge, how many battles can one fight til they're bored!? How many heads you got to chop before you realize it's never going to change?! Just time and time again, going into battle, cutting down useless fighters and then wow you won. How thrilling. Years of that and only that, and then people think it's all you're good for. Well, I finally decided that I wanted out! That I wanted something else from life! Wasn't quite sure what it was when I first quit, but I will tell you right now that it is this! Right here! Working this fine butcher shop with my good friends and coworkers! Serving the community an endless buffet of the finest meats around, cut and trimmed to perfection! Speaking of which, IS THAT CHARLIE I HEAR UP THERE? HEY HEY! HOW'S IT GOING? HOW'D THAT BEEF SHANK TURN OUT FOR YOU? OF COURSE IT WAS DELICIOUS, I AM THE ONE WHO CUT IT! BAD TASTE IS ON THE CHEF, NOT THE BUTCHER! HA HA! GET YOUR USUAL AND GET OUTTA HERE, YA RASCAL! HAVE A GOOD ONE! Ah, I love that guy..."

"Now what were we...oh right. Like I said, I got my butcher shop, I got Greta and that is all I need. Don't even bring up the bloodlust thing, as I got plenty of blood to soak up right here. Butchering feeds the metal and I am satisfied with that. No, I don't need the blood of man or whatever to feel full, beast blood is just fine. This work is perfect for putting food on my table, as you folk say, and I am perfectly happy with it. Run the store during the day, and enjoy a nice peaceful home life at night. What more could any one want? HEY GRETA! HOW MUCH LOIN DID THAT ONE ORDER WANT?....OKAY, I WILL HAVE THAT READY IN A MINUTE! Now would you get out of here? I got a business to run and you are just getting in the way! And don't bother Greta about a refund, use that as a lesson on not bothering people. I don't care about war, I don't care about dragons, I don't care about any of it. Find another hero to save your day and tell your buddies to leave me alone! I got nothing to do with any of it!"

"Huh? What do mean I got a part in this? No, I don't got stake in any game, what are you talking about? I have been working this shop and been off the battlefield for years now, so whatever feud there is has nothing to do....hold up....you're talking about my sister, aren't you? THAT'S IT! OUT! OUT! How many times I got to tell you freaks that her life is none of my business?! She's a fully forged blade that can make her own decisions, so stop bothering her brother about it! By the forge, you people just don't quit! If you got problems with her, then go tell her! If you don't want to die while doing it, then get better at fighting! It's your problem, not mine! Now scram before I have Greta throw you out! GRETA!"

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Sometimes I just like to think about weird NPCs, some being you would run into during RPGs or DnD and such. In this case, what if an ancient legendary blade was just sick of being a weapon of war?

Description

"Hey, Greta, how we doing on corned beef up front? Wasn't sure if that big order cleaned us out or if- oh wait, thought you were someone else. Sorry. Ask Greta up front if I need to cut up mor- oh why am I asking you to- GRETA! HOW WE ON THE CORNED BEEF? OKAY, THEN I AM GOING TO START ON THE NEW PIGS! Now where were we? Ah, right, you're still here. Well, move it, you're in the way and I got chopping to do. What do you want? Actually, forget it, I know what you want. Greta let you back here, right? How much she ask for this time? I swear you desperate idiots are going to put her kids through school at this rate. You fools better not fund her an early retirement, though, I can't imagine this store without her! I'm best at the butchering, and she's the best at....well, everything else. Anyways, scram. Whatever you want, I ain't giving. Don't even start with the speeches, I have heard enough for a lifetime....What are you staring at? Hey, genius, eyes over here. If you are going to waste my time, at least look at me properly. The dummy is just to make things easier. Not like I got hands and legs here."

"Oh, this drivel again. Yes, yes, you have found the Slayer of Barquaan, the great Cleaver of Troltin, the legendary warrior that cut down the horrors of Ghanin and put an end to the Steel Dragon. Don't spit those titles at me, I know what I am called. Indeed, it is I who did all that, and its been a while since those days. Aaaaand here is that slag again, what did I tell you about speeches?! I know what I was, and I will tell you what I am now, and that is: done! Over it! Retired! Sheathed and never drawn! Those days are behind me and they aren't coming back! What do you mean 'why?!' You seriously barging in here to question my life choices? Oh, I know what you are thinking! That I lost and can't get over the defeat! That I grew rusty and am scared to show my weakness! Oh, you freaks got a dozen theories and conspiracies on why I hung it all up! No one can fathom the fact that I AM DONE! By the forge, how many battles can one fight til they're bored!? How many heads you got to chop before you realize it's never going to change?! Just time and time again, going into battle, cutting down useless fighters and then wow you won. How thrilling. Years of that and only that, and then people think it's all you're good for. Well, I finally decided that I wanted out! That I wanted something else from life! Wasn't quite sure what it was when I first quit, but I will tell you right now that it is this! Right here! Working this fine butcher shop with my good friends and coworkers! Serving the community an endless buffet of the finest meats around, cut and trimmed to perfection! Speaking of which, IS THAT CHARLIE I HEAR UP THERE? HEY HEY! HOW'S IT GOING? HOW'D THAT BEEF SHANK TURN OUT FOR YOU? OF COURSE IT WAS DELICIOUS, I AM THE ONE WHO CUT IT! BAD TASTE IS ON THE CHEF, NOT THE BUTCHER! HA HA! GET YOUR USUAL AND GET OUTTA HERE, YA RASCAL! HAVE A GOOD ONE! Ah, I love that guy..."

"Now what were we...oh right. Like I said, I got my butcher shop, I got Greta and that is all I need. Don't even bring up the bloodlust thing, as I got plenty of blood to soak up right here. Butchering feeds the metal and I am satisfied with that. No, I don't need the blood of man or whatever to feel full, beast blood is just fine. This work is perfect for putting food on my table, as you folk say, and I am perfectly happy with it. Run the store during the day, and enjoy a nice peaceful home life at night. What more could any one want? HEY GRETA! HOW MUCH LOIN DID THAT ONE ORDER WANT?....OKAY, I WILL HAVE THAT READY IN A MINUTE! Now would you get out of here? I got a business to run and you are just getting in the way! And don't bother Greta about a refund, use that as a lesson on not bothering people. I don't care about war, I don't care about dragons, I don't care about any of it. Find another hero to save your day and tell your buddies to leave me alone! I got nothing to do with any of it!"

"Huh? What do mean I got a part in this? No, I don't got stake in any game, what are you talking about? I have been working this shop and been off the battlefield for years now, so whatever feud there is has nothing to do....hold up....you're talking about my sister, aren't you? THAT'S IT! OUT! OUT! How many times I got to tell you freaks that her life is none of my business?! She's a fully forged blade that can make her own decisions, so stop bothering her brother about it! By the forge, you people just don't quit! If you got problems with her, then go tell her! If you don't want to die while doing it, then get better at fighting! It's your problem, not mine! Now scram before I have Greta throw you out! GRETA!"

-------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes I just like to think about weird NPCs, some being you would run into during RPGs or DnD and such. In this case, what if an ancient legendary blade was just sick of being a weapon of war?